Twins
by wibn
Summary: "The boy will be named Shinji; the girl will be named Rei." What happens if the anime started the same way, but with Shinji and Rei as twins? This doesn't mean all will be smiles and giggles. While this isn't a fix-it fic that veers far away from canon, it'll subvert tropes, have some sweet moments, and match the tone of the show.
1. Angel Attack

Author's notes: So, Shinji is not OOC. (For that matter, neither is Rei despite what Shinji thinks in this chapter.) At least, that's what I'm trying. In the anime, he started off desperately needing his father's approval, but now he has his twin as well. Of course this will cause him to act a bit differently even though he's the same person. You'll get the info slowly, sort of like what they did in canon. Plus, it may make y'all stick around longer. More explanations are at the end of this.

This chapter will hopefully be the only one that's this close to the original. I kept the body under 4k for you on this one, but don't expect that for the other and non-introductory chapters. I'll shoot for updating once a week.

* * *

 _Every morning, I wake up. Sometimes, I wonder if it'd been better if I didn't. Life is a blur, like a wisp of smoke. My tutor forced me to learn foreign languages that I'll never use, read obscure texts about warfare, and excel at every damn course. I want a break; I want my family back. I want her back in my life. She was always the happier one, the one who picked me up when I was down. Now, I'm alone, and it sucks. Screw it. I'll do what that letter said. I'm gonna find my family._

* * *

The voice sounds cheerful, almost happy to be speaking. It's all a lie, since some woman had to say this message. "We're sorry, but due to the state of special emergency, no lines are currently available. This is a recording." Why couldn't these phone lines still work? He needs to be picked up, but the stupid phone lines are down. The military has been making a racket too.

"Ugh, it's no use. This is dumb. I shouldn't have come here." Some jet flies overhead the boy. Is this a military drill? No, why would they be doing a drill in a city?

He looks down at the postcard, the sole thing in the mail that had any emotion. While the letter from his father was harsh and emotionless, this postcard it creepy. What woman would draw an arrow to her breast when she knows it's being sent to a kid? Why would she even work at NERV? She seems better fit for a modeling job or something, anything else.

"Ah, I guess we won't be meeting here." He looks at his watch. Hell, she's almost an hour late. With the military becoming louder by the moment, it may not be safe much longer. "Maybe I should find a shelter." Those speakers have been blaring out orders to find shelter, and only he has been dense enough to ignore the warning.

The streets have been empty for a long time, but he sees someone out of the corner of his eye. "Huh?" He looks over. A girl with a schoolgirl uniform and strange blue hair stares at him. What is she doing? She seems almost familiar. Wait. Is that Rei? "Sis?"

Birds fly from some power lines making him jump. When he looks back at Rei, she's gone. _It must've been my mind playing tricks on me._

He grimaces from a bang. Something exploded. The power lines shake and wind blows past him. Shinji covers his ears until it's over. This is bad. They're doing something more than a drill. Is another country invading?

The boy stares far away where the sound came from. A squad of advanced hovering jets back up while something makes crashing sounds, almost like footsteps. Then, a giant black thing comes into view. It was a white mask on the top of its chest, and no head. The thing is taller than skyscrapers and has spikes jutting from its elbows and middle chest. _What the Hell is that?_

The monster outstretches its arm and fires a beam of purple light at a jet. It pierces through as if it was butter. The jet crashes to the ground right towards him! He ducks and clutches his head. He screams as it slams into the ground a few dozen meters up the street. The monster leaps and crushes the rest of the wreckage with its foot, causing an explosion that pushes Shinji onto his rear.

Car tires screech to a halt. "Sorry," a cheerful voice say. He opens his eyes and sees that purple haired woman from the postcard. She opens the door. "Get in. Am I real late?" She sounds so calm, yet a massive monster is just meters away from them!

Shinji jumps inside the blue sports car. The jets fire missiles at the beast, but none seem to hurt it. A giant black foot almost squashes them as the car speeds away.

What's happening? He covers his ears and closes his eyes. The car swerves and his stomach churns, but he won't open them up. It continues forever. What was that thing? He almost died!

He never should have come. It was a bad idea from the start. Life was fine. Yes, it was lonely and boring, but Shinji likes boring. His father abandoned him. He hasn't seen Rei for almost five years. Now, he's in a car with a strange woman and fleeing from a giant harbinger of death. He must run away from this all.

The car stops. The woman takes out some binoculars leans over Shinji. Her breasts are way too close to his face, but she seems too focused on whatever's out there to notice. "Now wait a second." She's wearing a one piece dress and a cross. She didn't seem to be the religious type. "No! They're gonna use an N2 mine!" Aren't those nukes without radiation? Oh shit.

She pushes him onto the seat of the passenger seat. Her body suffocated him. She shouts, "Get down!" The loudest thing Shinji ever heard tears his ears apart. He can almost see the light even though his eyes are closed. The shockwave hit the car tossing it across the road. He and the woman tumble inside.

Before the explosion finishes all the way, they climb out the passenger window. The car came to a rest on its side. The two stare at what used to be a glorious sports car.

"Are you alright?" She still stares at the car.  
"Yeah." He pauses to cough. "But my mouth is full of dirt." He spits some out. The dirt makes crunching sounds between his teeth.  
"You'll be alright. Come on."

She backs up to the car. _I suppose she wants my help._ He puts himself in the same position. He sighs. This is gonna be a very bad day. That's assuming he'll be alive at the end of all of this. After a few tries, they get the damn thing on its wheels.

She looks at him and smiles. "Thanks Shinji, you're pretty useful."  
"Thank you, but I should thank you Miss Katsuragi." She did save his life after all, regardless that she was late. The praise makes him feel warm inside, though awkward too.  
"Aw, Misato is fine." She takes off her sunglasses. "So Shinji Ikari, we meet at last."  
"Uh, yeah." At least she's sorta nice.

Plus, that thing is dead now. Nothing could withstand a blast from an N2 mine.

* * *

Shinji pays attention to her conversation again. "Yes, don't worry. His safety is my top priority." That must be someone at NERV on the other line. "Look. Can you get a car-train ready for us? An express of course." He looks out the window. That's more polite than staring at her legs. "Well I did volunteer to pick him up, so it's only my duty to make sure he gets there." Oh, everything she's been doing is out of duty. He's just another face or another job to her, though he shouldn't have expected otherwise.

"See ya!" She hangs up the phone. Shinji glances at the back seat. Those batteries make him uncomfortable.

"Um, Miss Misato?" he asks, "Excuse me, Misato?"  
She gives a large smile and takes her eyes off of the road. "Hmm, what's that?"  
"Those batteries, isn't that, um, theft?"  
"Don't worry about that. It's an emergency, and we needed a working car, right? I am a government official after all, so everything is gonna be perfectly fine, okay?"  
"I don't think anyone will buy that excuse."

Theft is theft no matter how one could twist the words.

"You're no fun. You know, you're not as cute as I thought you were." Why is she insulting him?  
"Is that so?" He tries to sound ticked off.  
"Oh sorry, are you angry?" She laughs. "You're just a boy after all."

He glares at her, but it doesn't seem to work. What could he say that'd annoy her? Oh, that's a good one. "You're not as mature as I thought you would be either."

Ha, that worked. She's so annoyed now, but maybe that was a bad idea. She swerves the car around the road making him grip onto the side of his seats. Crap.

* * *

"The gates are not closing. Please, stay clear." It's another cheery, fake voice. Shinji sighs. The world is an artificial land of plastic smiles. No one cares.

He reads the logo. "NERV," he says. He must be close to his father now.  
"Uh huh. It's a secret organization controlled by the UN." Is she trying to impress or scare him? Either way, neither works.  
"I know. My father is the commander. Last time I heard, NERV was putting a lot of focus on this thing called Project E." He looks at her to see her reaction. Will she be surprised that he knows?

Her eyes widen. "What the Hell! How do you know that? Did your teachers tell you? No, that doesn't make sense. Did your dad tell you?" She appears uneasy. Her eyes dart around the car more.  
"No, all me teachers told me was that NERV was important to the future of mankind. I was around when Gehirn existed and in the first year of NERV. Then, my father sent me away."  
"Oh, I didn't know that."

An awkward silence surrounds the pair. The train clanks against the tracks below and the tunnel's lights flash by overhead. How much does this lady know?

"Misato, are we going to see my father?"  
"Of course. Of course we are."

He grumbles. That doesn't sound promising. Why else would his father write that letter? Shinji is just fourteen. There's nothing he could do that'd be useful, so he assumed his father wanted him back. Maybe Rei wanted to see him again. Something doesn't seem right. It's as if there's a piece to this puzzle missing.

These lights and sounds remind him of that day. Shinji was just nine. He thought he was a big boy, but he cried like a baby. With nothing but a bag of clothes, his father dropped him off at the train station. He seemed so distant, no emotion at all. It made no sense. His father said nothing about this. Then, he was sent off to some Godforsaken town to live with a tutor. He never got to say bye to Rei, so maybe that's why she never contacted him. If not his father, maybe Rei will open up. She was always so happy.

"Oh, did your dad send you an ID card?" Shinji turns his head to Misato. He takes out the card and hands it to her. "Here, start reading this, okay?" She hands him some sort of booklet on NERV. Oh uh, this isn't good.

"Am I going to be working for him?" She stares at the roof resting her head on her hands. "What am I saying? He wouldn't have sent for me unless he needed me for something." Now, he'll be working for the man. It'll be worth it if Rei's around.  
"It sound like you don't get along with your dad." She closes her eyes. "You sound just like me." What is she talking about?

Before he could respond, they exit the tunnel. "Awesome! It's a real GeoFront!"  
"That's right. This is our secret underground base, NERV central. This is the key to rebuilding our home, a fortress for all mankind."

This is amazing. It's all a giant dome, large enough to fit in a city. Skyscrapers come down from the ceiling. That is odd. Anyway, there's a blue lake and green grass at the bottom. A pyramid, like the ones in Egypt, stands next to the lake. This place is right under Tokyo-3, and nobody knew about it!

* * *

All of the excitement caused by the GroFront has been squashed by boredom. They've been wandering around these halls for minutes, hours, days? It's most likely an hour, but the only productive thing that happened was him reading some more pages from the booklet. It doesn't contain anything interesting.

She mumbles to herself about how hard it is to navigate through the halls. They walk half the time since there's countless of those flat escalator things. It's not that bad. Shinji glances from the book to their location. They're on a flat escalator, moving across a giant chasm, and inside a white room that could house a few baseball fields. He sighs. "You know, we've passed by here two times before."  
"Well," she says in a too cheery voice, "They make these transit things to be used!" Oh, these are transits.

They step into an elevator. It might be an illusion, but it feels as though it's moving slower than a snail. Why is every single wall a pale white? The elevator stops and the doors open, so Shinji glances up from the book. He sees a blonde woman wearing both a lab coat and a swimsuit. _I won't even ask why she's wearing that._

"Hi Ritsuko." They must know each other, but Misato looks embarrassed. She should be after getting lost here.  
"Why are you wasting my time, Captain?" She emphasizes the rank. "Don't you know we're short on time and manpower?" Huh, maybe they called him in for cheap labor?  
"Sorry." She either bows or apologizes like an embarrassed schoolgirl. It's hard to tell the difference.  
"So is this the boy?" Ritsuko asks.

 _"The boy"? What does she mean by that? There is a puzzle piece missing._

"According to the Marduk report, he's the Third Child." He never heard of a Marduk report before, but "Third Child" sounds like a designation. He's gonna work for NERV somehow.  
"Please to meet you," says the blonde. Something about her voice sounds forced, as if she's showing emotion as a courtesy instead of a true expression of her emotions.

Oh, he forgot to respond. "Uh, sure," he says.  
"I'm afraid he's just like his father, the unfriendly part that is." Misato folds her arms.

Shinji looks back at his book. _I am not my father_. He engrosses himself back in the book instead of listening to the others talk. Other than a warning about going to battle stations, he can't help but hear some of what the two women say. It's about something named Unit 01. It's troublesome and impossible to activate.

The conversation dies down. They get in a boat and speed across some weird pink liquid. The three walk into a dark room which makes it somewhat different then all the other rooms. Why is it dark? Then, all the lights go off. "Hey, why is it so dark in here?" Dark rooms are never good.

The lights come on. A giant purple face stares back at him. Shinji screams. After a moment, he realizes it's not going to kill him. In fact, it doesn't move at all. "It's a face, a giant robot." Why is that thing here? He flips through the pages of the booklet for more information.

"You won't find this in there," Ritsuko says. "This is man's ultimate fighting machine, the synthetic life form known as Evangelion Unit 01. Built here in secret, it is mankind's last hope."

The Evangelion's head and shoulders are the only parts above the pink liquid. It is purple and green with a horn on top of its head. The thing looks like it's made for fighting. It's also freaking scary, but it also seems familiar somehow.

"Is this my father's work?" he asks.  
"Correct." That voice, he knows that voice. He looks up, and in a window at the top of the room stands his father. He looks down at his son. "It's been a while." There he is. After five years, there he is. That's all he could manage to say?  
"Father." That's what the man should be, but he isn't.  
"We're moving out." What does that mean?

"We're moving out? Unit 00 is still in cryostasis." Misato gasps and looks at the purple robot. "Wait a minute. You're gonna use Unit 01?"  
Ritsuko glares at the other woman. "There's no other way." _Shit, why am I here?_  
"Rei can't do it yet, can she? We don't have a pilot!"

Rei! She is here. There's a chance they can become friend again, real siblings again. Who cares if his father won't be nice? Shinji just wants his sister back.

"We just received one," Ritsuka says. Misato frowns at her. _Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. This is the last piece to the puzzle._ "Shinji Ikari, you will pilot it." She says that as if it's a fact of life.  
"But even Rei Ayanami took seven months to synchronize with her Eva."

Wait. This is a different Rei? Rei's a super uncommon name, but she didn't say Rei Ikari.

"It's impossible for him to do it! He just got here." At least Misato seems to care about him, just a little bit.  
"He just has to sit in the seat. We don't expect more than that. Listen, defeating that Angel is our ultimate priority." Was the monster out there called an Angel? It seemed like a demon. Also, it's alive? How? Where's Rei? "If we have someone who has the chance of synchronizing with an Eva, then we've got to risk it. You do understand that, don't you Captain Katsuragi?" She emphasizes the rank again.  
"Yes Ma'am."

His father wants him to pilot this thing. He wants his son to fight against a monster that withstands N2 mines? "Why did you send for me?" _Please, show that you do care for me._  
"You know why I sent for you."  
"You're asking me to get in this machine, and go out there to fight?"  
"Correct." His father never changes his gaze.  
"How can you do this to me!" Tears fall down his eyes. "You don't want me! Why did you call me now father?"  
"Because I have a use for you."  
Shinji looks at the ground. "Why, why me?"  
"Because there's no one else that can."

Shinji doesn't know what to do or think. An Angel attacking, his father hating him, a robot that only he could pilot… How can this be happening? "There's no way I can do this! I've never seen this thing before!"  
"You will be instructed." His voice hasn't changes, emotionless.  
"But still, there's no way. I can't pilot that thing!"  
"If you're going to do it, do it now! If not, then leave." His voice rises.

The ground shakes like an earthquake. Something explodes far away. "It's close. It must sense us." His father looks up. There's another explosion.

"Get inside." Misato's arms are crossed. She doesn't care about him.  
"This is so wrong. I came all of this way, why did I come!" He should've stayed home, where it's safe.  
"Why Shinji? Why did you come? You mustn't run away, and you must confront your father. You must confront yourself."  
Shinji looks away. "I know that, but, but. I can't!"

Overhead, he hears his father say, "Fuyutsuki, wake up Rei. She's not dead yet."

What! How dare he speak about her life that! Rei is part of their family. She is the nicest, happiest person Shinji ever knew. Now, they're going to put her in this monster. Is she hurt? Is this why they brought him in?

"Rei," his father says.  
"Yes." Shinji knows that voice. It has been half a decade and her voice comes over a radio, but he could recognize that voice no matter what. That is his Rei!  
"Our spare is unusable. You will do it again." _I'm your son, not a damn spare like a tire._  
"Yes Sir."

Shinji stands and cries. How is his father so evil? Why is Rei a pilot? Is she injured? His father doesn't need him, and Rei is about to fight a monster because he is weak. The staff scrambles around trying to reconfigure that purple machine for Rei.

A door opens. Three doctors wheel a bed with an IV. Shinji freezes in fear. Is that Rei? When they pass him by, he sees the injured girl. It's Rei. Her head is bandaged. Her right arm looks sprained or broken. Other bandages wrap around her body. She stares at the ceiling, not even noticing her brother.

She sits up and gasps in pain. Her arms shake as he cries more. God! Why am I such a coward?

Another explosion, this one louder, rips through the base. Rei falls off the bed, so Shinji sprints to her side. He lays her head in his lap. "Look out!" yells Misato. Giant slabs of metal fall down to where they are. He holds onto his sister. _At least we were together one last time._

The metal bounces off the hand of the Evangelion. "The Eva activated itself, but that's not possible! The entry plug wasn't even inserted!" Ritsuko says. Shinji looks up. The entire arm shields the two siblings.  
"It activated without any kind of interface?" Misato asks. "Did it act to protect someone, to protect them?"

Rei shakes in pain. Shinji feels something wet on his hands. It's blood, her blood. He looks back at the Eva, and its eyes now glow white. He knows what he must do.

"I'll pilot the damn thing." He strokes her hair, blue hair. That's new. "Just protect Rei!"

Everything becomes a blur. Rei is carted away. They drag him up and into something called an entry plug which seems like a man-sized soda. They tell him to wear some sort of headband. Shinji doesn't care if he'll die. This is for Rei.

Everything gets worse. Orange liquid fills up the cramped, tubular plug. All he gets out before he's submerged is, "What is this stuff?" He holds his breath.  
Ritsuko's voice comes over the intercom. "Don't worry. Once you lungs are willed with LCL, you're lungs will be oxygenated directly."

Rei must've done this before. Shinji breathes in the liquid. It tastes like blood and his stomach twists itself in knots.

They start saying technical terms, but the world around Shinji changes. Every color he's ever seen flashes before his eyes until something clicks. He sees outside to cockpit from the vantage point of the Eva's eyes. He can almost feel the machine.

"Synchronization ratio at 44.3 percent," says some unknown voice over the intercom. _What does that even mean? Oh, I'm synced with the machine with my mind. That must be it._

"Begin launch sequence." That's Misato's voice. Why is she with those scientists?

The technicians remove the restraints from the Eva. Shinji feels less constricted. Someone tells the maintenance crew to move the Eva to a launch pad. Does this thing fly?

He hears Misato's voice. "Can we really do this?"  
"Of course," his father says. "Unless we defeat the Angels, we have no future."

 _It's okay. I'm doing this for Rei. I'm doing this for Rei. I'm doing this for Rei._ He repeats the phrase again and again.

"Eva launch!" Oh, Misato must be some sort of a leader in NERV. Maybe she's his new boss. That'd be better than his father because she's nicer.

Shinji once went on a roller coaster. It was with Rei a few months before he was sent away. That little boy thought the ride would kill him, but it pales in comparison to what he feels now. His internal organs sink into his feet as the Evangelion launches up to the surface. He cannot hold back a scream.

Then, it stops. Shinji opens his eyes. The monster stares at him, just a block away. Now, it has two heads, and its red core glows even brighter. At least Rei won't have to fight this thing.

* * *

Misato's voice: "The Eva triumphs, but this Angel is only the beginning. Worried about Shinji's mental state, Misato brashly him in with her; however, Shinji's mind only become more shut off from the rest of the world even while he tries to reconnect with his sister. It all happens in the next chapter, and I'll be slipping you a little extra as well!"

* * *

Author's notes (more!): Sorry, I couldn't help myself with Misato's sneak peak. I did modify it a bit though.

What made Rei so interesting in canon was her mystery, but we all (most likely) know her past already. Essentially, this is an AU with the point of divergence being Shinji has a twin (Rei). How could such a humongous lore change still result in this very similar-to-canon chapter? I do have my reasons, very detailed reasons that will be explained later. (See? Now, you have to read the next chapters to find out.)

Rei and Asuka will also be POV characters. I don't want to use any adults, though I may have to if necessary. It'd be fun to see things from the children's very confused perspectives. As chapters go by, I will want everything to be recognizable to the reader but simultaneously original.

To Asuka fans, don't worry. She's just as important of a character as the twins. I also won't regulate her to "bitchy roommate who gets mind screwed". Still, there's three Angels to kill before everyone's favorite screwed up redhead drops by. :)

As for Rei, there is a reason why she is called "Rei Ayanami" instead of "Rei Ikari". I'll probably put that one in the next chapter.

As for Shinji, he now wants both his father's approval and friendship with his sister. With the extra driving force, he acts somewhat differently than canon Shinji at this point. I think he would've acted this way, however, if they did make Rei his twin in canon. I'll delve more into this relationship in the next chapters.

Also, for those of you who skipped through the body, here's the things we saw that were different.  
Shinji and Rei are twins.  
They were really close.  
Rei was happy.  
Shinji was sent away by Gendo at nine.  
The twins never contacted each other since then.  
Shinji had a somewhat better education. (Oooh, why did this happen?)  
Unit 01 protected both children when the random metal tried to squish them. (Shinji was already by Rei's side in this story.)  
Shinji had more of a reason for his motivation to pilot Unit 01 (since Rei is his twin).  
His sync rate is 3% higher than canon at this point. (He was more sure of himself to pilot. He wanted to protect his twin instead of this random, injured girl he just met.)

Most importantly, Shinji thought it was weird that she had blue hair. Well, that's not the most important thing, but I always find it odd how everyone seems to accept that the girl has blue hair. Do they assume Rei takes the time to color it?


	2. Unfamiliar Ceiling Part 1

Chapter 2

 _Birthdays were so much fun. I don't think I've ever been to a birthday besides my own, though I never asked my father if I went to someone else's when Momma was alive. Rei and I had sort of a tradition. We'd eat our piece of cake together and open our presents at the same time. She'd giggle, thinking it's the funniest thing in the world. Even our father had a ghost of a smile. After I was sent away, I couldn't stand to look at cake. I couldn't bear the thought of opening a present. It doesn't matter though. I haven't received one present in the past five years._

* * *

Misato's voice comes over the intercom. _I'm all alone out here, jest me and that monster._ "Are you ready, Shinji?" She's almost shouting. He nods. _Oh, do they see me, or is this only over voice?_ "Release the safety locks. Evangelion Unit 01, move out!"

The locks let go, and Shinji feels the Evangelion hunch over. He breathes harder, faster. What is this thing? It feels so alive yet alien, a foreign extension to his body.

"Shinji," says that blonde doctor. What was her name? Oh, it was doctor Ritsuko. "Just concentrate on walking." Shouldn't he worry about the monster that's just in front of him? Babies walk before they crawl, so does he have to walk before he can save the city? That makes some sense.

 _Walk. Walk. Walk for Rei._ His foot… no, it's the Evangelion's foot. That metal foot rises in the air, moves forward, and slams into the ground. If anybody's around, he could squish that poor soul. Crap! He let his mind wander. The Evangelion falls to the ground, feeling like a sledgehammer just bashed into his face. He already feels a headache creeping into his skull.

"Shinji, are you okay?" Misato sounds worried. "Hurry! You got to get up." Shinji looks up and the Angel looms over him. He screams.

The monster picks him up by the head. The fingers dig into his skull. Shinji freezes in fear. The muscles of the Angel expand. It grabs his left arm while still holding his head. It pulls. Shinji never felt so much pain. It blocks out most thoughts, leaving a primitive fear of having one's arm ripped off. He almost doesn't hear Misato. "Shinji, that is not you real arm!"

His arm breaks. It flops around like a rag doll. _I'm gonna die. Rei, I'm sorry._ The pain makes him breathe in, but he can't breathe out or scream in pain. His vision clouds from his suffering, but he still feels the hand crushing his skull.

Through the blackness of pain, he sees the arm of the Angel glow. More pain, it's as if the monster drives a nail through his skull. It slams his face using something extending from its palm. He clutches his eye while someone yells about the head breaking. _I'll never see her again! No! I want to see her one more time!_ With his vision cracking from agony, he uses his good arm to take a hold of one of the bone-spikes on the monster's chest.

Pain! Excruciating, unending, merciless pain explodes in his head. The nailing must've broken though the head, but Shinji won't let go. The boy and the Eva let out an inhuman scream in perfect sync.

"Shinji!" Misato screams.

* * *

He opens his eyes. He sees no monster, no Evangelion. It's just an unfamiliar ceiling, whitewashed and bland. Cicadas blare outside. The entire room is a colorless mush of grey and white.

Shinji sits up in bed, a hospital bed. He blinks twice half expecting to see that monster when he opens his eyes. His head throbs and his left arm aches, but he's alive. Well, this could be some odd heaven or hell. No one else is around. He's alone.

He lies back down and pulls the covers up to his neck. _How did I get here? I'm alive, so the Angel must be dead. Oh, my head hurts. Is Rei alight?_

He rolls out of bed. He pulls out an IV needle from his arm. Before he fought the Angel, he would've squirmed from the pain, but now it comforts him. It's normal pain, the kind a kid should feel. In nothing but a hospital gown, he opens the door. He wants to see someone, but no one's in the halls either. Even in a hospital, Shinji is alone.

He stops at a large section of windows overlooking a forest. He presses his hand against the warm glass. He spent the last five years in a place surrounded by forests. He likes forests. They're predictable. He sighs since he never could've predicted what happened to him. _I feel horrible._

He hears clanking, so he turns to the racket glad to know others are around. A few nurses wheel a bed down the hallway. As it passes by, he sees a mop of blue hair and a red eye staring at him. He freezes, too surprised to do anything. He clenches his fist as his eyes form tears. Just before they turn a corner he calls out, "Rei!" He runs after the bed almost stumbling, and the nurses stop.

He hasn't talked to her in five years. She was in too much pain last night. What should he say? _Why haven't you talked to me after I left? Are you in pain? Do you recognize me? What did you do in the past five years? Do you hate me, love me? Do you want to be friends? Do you have friends? What happened to your hair, your eyes?_

He leans against the bed and gasps for breath, feeling lightheaded. "Are you alright?"  
"Yes." Where's the emotion? She sounds cold, like Father.  
"Rei, do you hate me?" He wipes away a few of his tears.  
"No." Her face hasn't made on expression yet.

He feels a hand on his shoulder. It's a gentle hand. "Young man," says a nurse, "she needs to get another x-ray. You can see her again, okay?"

Shinji nods. The nurses push the bed once again. As they take her through a doorway, he calls out, "Rei, I'll see you again, right?"  
"Yes," she says. Then, his best friend disappears, since the door closed.

 _What should I do now?_

* * *

After he changed, a nurse told him to wait in this new room. It's big with row upon row of chairs. No other body sits in a chair. Shinji's alone.

He holds up his left arm and stares at it, almost not blinking at all. He felt it break, but the arm looks fine. It broke, snapped in two. The pain was real.

 _How long have I stared at my own arm? Minutes, hours? It's not gonna break in half all of a sudden. My body is fine. I wish my head was as well. Damn, at least Rei didn't have to pilot that thing. Why can't someone else, like a soldier, pilot Unit 01? Why did it have to be Rei and me?_

A voice calls out over the intercom for some doctor to report to some place. Shinji wishes he could be taken to some other place, anywhere but here. This building smothers Shinji. It smells sanitized. The chemicals tingle in his nose.

Footsteps approach. He turns his head and sees Misato. They stare at each other for a minute. Then without a word, he stands and follows her. They walk to an elevator. He hears the mechanics moving on the other side of the door, and the bell beeps. The doors slide open. His father stands on the other side looking down at Shinji.

Neither of them says anything. They stare at each other refusing to change their facial expressions. _What did you do to my sister, bastard? Why did you abandon me?_ Shinji looks away and lets out a grunt. The doors close, so the insufferable presence leaves the boy once again.

Then, they take a car, an escalator, a transit, and walk for almost an hour. Unlike last time, Misato maintains her sense of direction while in the HQ. The rooms no longer seem as interesting. Hell, they're boring to look at, giant white rooms and long white hallways.

They stop at a door near the very top of the building. Over the door, there's a label, Sub-Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki. "He wanted to talk with you, Shinji," Misato says. "You'll also be told of your living arrangements." She opens the door.

Shinji sees a small office. The desk looks old like the man who sits behind it. Documents, newspapers, and charts are strewn around the room in haphazard piles. One of the three lights overhead flickers as if it's on its last leg before dying. The walls are adorned with diplomas and awards for various contributions to science. The Sub-Commander smiles at the pair. It looks authentic, but looks can be deceiving.

"Hello, Shinji Ikari," he says. If it wasn't for the NERV uniform, this man could fit into a bingo tournament or have little grandchildren running around his feet. Instead, he's the second most powerful man in an organization with a giant purple robot.

"Um, hello Sir." He doesn't know if he should bow, salute, or shake the man's hand. Instead, Shinji stands like a statue.

Mr. Fuyutsuki hands him a form. Shinji reads the address on the top, but he has no idea where that's at. Misato reads the paper over his shoulder. "What?" she says, "He'll be living alone?" Her eyes open wide and she covers her mouth, just now realizing that she's talking to one of her bosses. "Ah sorry. Sub-Commander, Shinji Ikari is a minor, thus he shouldn't be alone."  
"It's okay," the Third Child says. "I've been pretty much alone for five years. I'm used to it." Misato becomes more flustered from the comment.  
"No way! That is not right. He should, um. Oh! Sorry again. I request permission to take Shinji to my home. For me to become his permanent legal guardian."  
"You don't have to do that." He gives a weak smile.  
"I want to, Shinji."

Mr. Fuyutsuki stands and nods. "You have my approval. The necessary paperwork will be filled out in a moment, but you can take him to his new home tonight." He looks at Misato. "Do you have any more questions?" _How could such a normal person be my father's right hand man?_  
"No sir." She salutes the elderly man.  
"Then could you wait outside for a moment, Major? There are a few things I'd like to discuss with Shinji. A short debriefing." _He used her rank, but he called me by name. Is he trying to tell her to leave, but assuring her he'll be nice to me?_

Regardless, Misato nods. The door open and closes. After a second, Mr. Fuyutsuki lets out a deep, protracted sigh. That's not good. The man sits at his desk.

"I have to apologize for what your fa-" He pauses when he sees the anger and fear flash in Shinji's eyes at the mere mentioning of his father. "For what the Commander did to Rei. He does not want her to pilot in her current state, but we both know that she would've died if no one piloted Unit 01."  
"I don't even remember what happened." The boy looks at the floor, the dusty floor. "I won't forgive him for doing that to my sister."  
"That's what I wanted to talk with you about." Shinji looks up, and sees an odd look in the man's eyes. Is it guilt? "Refer to Rei as Rei Ayanami, First Child."  
"B-but," he says, arms sensing. "She's Rei Ikari. She's my twin, right?"

Mr. Fuyutsuki blinks and nods at a snail's pace. "I may not know everything about you, but I already know you'll do anything to protect her."  
"Yes, but why is she Ayanami?" _Why am I acting so… bold?_  
"For her protection. If anybody asks, Rei is your distant cousin, one you've never met before. We have documents to prove such claims."

What? That makes no sense. Rei is his sister. There's no denying that. Does Rei dislike him enough to change her name? No, that makes even less sense. Something's going on; something's wrong.

"Bullshit." Shinji's face reddens like a tomato. "Sorry! Um, sorry about the language. Am I in danger? Who are we protecting Rei from by claiming she's my cousin. That makes no sense. Er, in all due respect sir. Please forgive my outburst. Sorry."  
"Others, not NERV. Discuss this with no one but Dr. Ritsuko, the Commander, and I. Oh, Rei too. If this information stays private, then all will be fine. You are dismissed."

Shinji nods. He turns around and grasps the door handle, mind reeling from this unexpected order. _What the hell? I don't understand this. What happened to Rei?_ He says without turning around, "Um, Rei and I can be friends, right?"  
"Yes." Mr. Fuyutsuki's mood darkens even more. "Shinji, no matter what changes you find with Rei, know that we did not want her like that."

With those cryptic words causing more fear inside the boy than the fight with the Angel, Shinji opens the door. He leaves with Misato. The woman spends the next thirty minutes trying to cheer him up.

* * *

Over the muffled roar of the engines, Shinji can make out the words of the other person on the phone. It sounds like that blonde doctor's voice, Ritsuko. _Why was I approved to talk with her about Rei as well? Why not Misato too?_

Anyway, the blond almost screams, "What did you say?" _She seems unhappy about my new living arrangements. I hope I'm not causing too much trouble. No, screw that thought. I'm still pissed and scared about this Ayanami stuff._  
"You heard me." With just one arm on the steering wheel and her thoughts in a phone conversation, Shinji double checks his seatbelt. Maybe he can convince her to uninstall the car's phone. "I said I'll be taking Shinji home to live in my place, okay? It's already been approved by the Sub-Commander himself, and don't worry." Her voice shifts from a professional tone to a playful one. "I'm not gonna be making any passes at him."

Shinji blushes. That mental image he has from that is, um, both stimulating and disturbing.

"Of course you're not!" screams the doctor loud enough for Shinji to hear her as if she's sitting next to him. "How could you even think of such a thing? You've got no shame at all!"

Misato hangs up the phone and giggles. "Some people don't have any sense of humor." Shinji looks at the woman and back to his seat belt, unsure if he should respond to that or not. He holds his left arm again. _It felt so real. My arm broke, but now it's not broke._

"Well, I guess we have to have a party tonight." When he doesn't say anything, she adds on, "Am I right?"  
He glances at her. Both her eyes are off the road and on him. After somehow killing the Angel, they're gonna die from bad driving. "Why is that?" he asks, hoping this would make her pay attention to driving again.  
"It's a welcoming party in honor of my new roommate, of course." She flashes him a smile, a real one.

The car stops. Shinji might've flown out the front windshield if it hadn't been for the seat belt. Why did they stop? Oh, there's a grocery store. They need food.

Shinji spends the next dozen minutes following Misato around the store. She puts two types of products in the shopping basket, beer and instant food. Shinji doesn't know which he'd rather be forced to consume, but he doesn't say anything. _She's taking me in. I can't be ungrateful to her._

They don't say a word the entire time. After all, there's not much to talk about that isn't classified, including his sister.

As Misato takes out her purse to pay for the excuse in front of them called food, he overhears a conversation between two women. They look a few years older than Misato and seem as though neither has slept for a day or two.

"So, you're going to move after all?"  
"Yes, I've never dreamt that this city would become a battlefield."  
"Yeah, my husband's saying that at least the kids and I should move." Shinji feels anger. This father wants to send out his children and wife to protect them; his father sent his son away for no damn reason. Why couldn't he have had a normal, loving father?  
"Don't I know it. This city may be a fortress, but that's no guarantee for safety."

Shinji and his new guardian get in the car and head home. Well, Misato mentioned making one more stop, but soon he'll go to a place that'll be his new home. Maybe he can convince Rei to come over as well. Wouldn't that be nice?

Misato pulls off the road. The car hits even more bumps as she drives over a large patch of dirt. Then, they stop. Not ten meters farther lies the edge of a cliff overlooking the city. The setting sun casts Tokyo-3 in a reddish hue. The city appears flat, missing the skyscrapers that adorn all other modern municipalities. It looks open, sort of alone.

"It's so desolate." They step out of the car and walk to the edge of the guardrail. Shinji has no idea why they're doing this. "It looks so lonely." _Like myself._ Misato chuckles.

An alarm goes off the fills the evening with its warnings, but this time the alarm sounds happier. _What if this is another Angel attacking? Rei!_ Then, his fears are put to rest. Dozens of panels, some larger than an entire block, open. Out of the holes rise the missing skyscrapers. They stretch themselves out to the sky as if they desire to see the sun before it turns to night.

"It's awesome!" he says. "The buildings are, um, they're growing!" The city fills up. It went from lonely to overflowing with skyscrapers and apartments in a matter of seconds.

"This city is a fortress, designed to stand against the Angels. This is Tokyo-3; this is our city." _My city._ She looks at him and smiles. "And it's the city you saved."

 _I saved this city? All of these people, all of these families. Are they alive because of me? If I didn't get into Unit 01,how many would've died because of me? Bothers would've lost their sisters. Children would lose their parents. I am a horrible person. I should've got in immediately, not bitch about my fears. Rei, I don't want anyone else to suffer like I did, losing you. I don't have a choice. I don't want to, but I have to pilot Unit 01._

* * *

Rei stares at the ceiling. Most children her age would groan and demand a TV. Others would count the tiles on their ceiling. A few would read a book. Rei does none of that. She stares at the ceiling, nothing else. Not a single thought flows through her head, since there is no need to think.

Then, in her mind's fortress of silence, an image bursts through. The face of the Third Child comes and goes. Sometimes, it won't leave for an hour. Other times, it stays only for second. Either way, the image will not go away.

It puzzles Rei why that memory would not leave. _I should find the reason for this anomaly, so I may end it._ She acquired this image when the Third Child asked, "Rei, do you hate me?" The question had no logic. Why would she hate the Third Child? He is the only other pilot, and working together has a higher probability of success than not being compatible partners. Furthermore, Commander Ikari did not order her to hate the Third Child.

What is perhaps more puzzling is that he called her by her given name. The Third Child is Japanese, and it would be unlikely that he would abandon the cultural norms. "Second Child" or "Pilot Ayanami" would've been much more culturally acceptable, yet he used neither term. Since he called her Rei, it insinuated that they know each other very well.

Since they are both pilots, they will have further interaction with one another. For now, she must conclude that she has insufficient data to answer the questions, thus she cannot remove his face from her mind. She cannot let this interfere with her mental state.

The door opens. Commander Ikari stands on the other side of the door. He says, "Rei."  
"Yes, Commander." She does not move.  
"We have finalized your story with the Third Child. Other than Ristuko, Fuyutsuki, the Third Child and I, you are to be his distant cousin who he never met before. You will receive the details in a file tomorrow."  
"Yes, Commander."

He closes the door. Rei stares at the ceiling again. The image of Shinji still will not leave her mind.

She did notice one anomaly with her conversation with Commander Ikari. His left ring finger twitched a few centimeters whenever he referred to the Third Child. While no one else would've noticed such a small and inconsequential action, Rei did. She memorizes how his left ring finger twitched, thus she could spot it again if he ever repeats the action around her. There must be a reason for the tic, something to do with Commander Ikari's son.

 _Perhaps I should attempt to initiate contact with the Third Child. My piloting may be hindered by the development, and Commander Ikari will not accept my sync ratio lowering. Furthermore, the Third Child's actions earlier today signaled that he wishes to initiate a conversation with me. While I may not be up to such a task, it would provide opportunity for me to gather more information on the Third Child._

* * *

Misato's voice: "Unable to remember the entire battle and fearful over Rei's secrecy, Shinji is about to enter his new home. It's also time to meet my wonderful warm-water penguin! Will Shinji be able to keep his true relations with his sister a secret for more than a day? It all happens in the concluding part of this chapter, and I'll be slipping you a little extra as well!"

* * *

Author's note: Well, how do you like Rei's POV? This is actually my first time writing with "Rei" besides Rei III.

As you can see, I'm spitting the second episode into two chapters. I wish the word count was higher on this one (about four thousand words), but I also wanted to "prove" this is a story that doesn't stay in _Chapter One Graveyard_. If you're wondering, I will do this to later chapters if they'd work better that way, and (I think) there'll be some chapters outside of the anime. Oddly, many of my favorite sections from other Evangelion fanfics are the sections where the three pilots do normal teen things.

The pace may be a tad bit rushed right now, but it's annoying to only have one of my three main characters as "available" for use. :)

Oh, thanks for all of these follows so far! I understand why y'all are hesitant on favoriting when the word count is still so low. Also, I love reviews/comments of any sort. Heck, you can do requests through the comments and/or PMs if you'd like (though that doesn't mean I'll necessarily follow the request). I do wonder what's going on in my readers' heads.

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

Shinji spent his years away in a forested area but never received presents.  
The Eva went Berserk while Shinji was still clutching the Angel's chest.  
Shinji talked to Rei for a few seconds when she was wheeled by him (though she only responded using "yes" or "no"). She agreed to see him again.  
Shinji talks to Fuyutsuki who tells him to pretend that Rei is his cousin for her protection, with exceptions being Fuyutsuki, Ritsuko, Ikari, and everyone's favorite bluenette. (Ooh, the mystery deepens!)


	3. Unfamiliar Ceiling Part 2

Chapter 2  
Continued

 _I don't remember a time where I had a normal home. I guess I had one before Momma, um, died, but I can't remember that. Hell, I can't remember her face. I'm a horrible son. Since that awful day, I've only been in places, not homes. With Rei, we lived inside bases, Gehirn and later NERV. What is that term? Oh, military brats, we were military brats. I guess Rei is still one. Where does she live? I should find out._

 _Once my evil excuse for a father abandoned me, I lived at places, never in them. I lived at a school, at a weird house, and even an apartment for that one week last year. Rei and I will never again live in a normal home, not without a mother or a father. It's sort of funny though. Right now, I don't care. I'd take Rei over a normal home any day._

* * *

Shinji steps out of the elevator. The apartment building is big, big enough to fit in hundreds. In the night sky, it seems to have a grayish-blue tinge. It could be worse, and the view will be nice due to their high floor.

He and Misato walk down the halls. Not a single human sound escapes from the walls. Unless it's built with a ton of sound proofing, then there aren't too many people living here. _They were scared and left after the Angel attack. I would too if I could get Rei out of here, but I can't. Oh, I also have to pilot._

"Your things ought to have been delivered, Shinji. I just moved here myself," she says sliding her card down some scanner next to a door reading "M. Katsuragi". The door slides open, and he notices three packing boxed stacked in a haphazard pile next to the door. He doesn't know if they're his things or Misato's. She takes a few steps inside but stops and turns around. "Hey, come in."

Shinji stands, ashamed and afraid. This woman, a captain and one of his commanders, wants him to stay in her apartment. He did nothing as Shinji Ikari for this to happen. Yes, the pilot of Unit 01 saved the city, but Shinji himself is just a kid, a wimpy one at that.

"I, uh, don't want to intrude," he says. Misato's willing to sacrifice her normal life to take him in. Why?

"Shinji, this is your home now." Her voice reassures the child.

 _Home? I have a home? I haven't lived with a woman, other than Rei, since Momma died. Now, I have this opportunity. Do I want this home? I don't know who Misato is beyond a few things, but her smile is real. She doesn't love me, but I feel wanted around her. She wants me here. I don't remember anybody besides Rei wanting me around them._

He takes two steps stopping a meter in front of Misato. "I'm… I'm home."

She smiles. "Welcome home." The door closes.

Maybe this will be like having a mother. Waking up, knowing somebody cleaned her home because she wanted to. That'd be nice. _Of course, I will help her. Maybe I can do half the chores and make a meal or two for her. Yes, that's a g- Holy shit!_

"As you can see," his guardian says, "the place is just a little but messy but, uh, go ahead and make yourself comfortable."

"This is a little messy?" His voice comes out like a squeak. More empty beer cans and liquor bottles litter the counters, the table, and the floor than Shinji could count. There must be over a hundred, maybe a thousand. Who knows?

Trash bags, unwashed and used bowls, and liter bottles of soda contribute to the mess. If an earthquake flattened the entire apartment, the destruction would look more organized than this mess. _I should do most of the cleaning._

"Oh, sorry," she says while poking her head out from behind a wall's corner. "Could you put the food in the fridge please?" She slides back to wherever she was going. Isn't she bothered by this disaster?

"Yes ma'am." On accident, Shinji opens up the freezer instead of the fridge. _Ice? The only thing in here is ice?_ He opens up part of the refrigerator. _Snacks? There's no real food, but she has the fridge full of snacks?_ Since he does not find where Misato stores beer cans, he opens another door. _Fifty gallons of beer?_ There very well may be fifty gallons inside the fridge, stacked a mile high. _What kind of life does she lead?_

He hears a rumbling noise, so he takes his eyes off of the ungodly amount of beer. From floor to ceiling, a rectangular and plain refrigerator stands. Does Misato have more beer in that fridge? He calls out, "Excuse me? What's in the other fridge?"  
"Oh," she says with a muffled tone, "He's probably still sleeping."  
"Sleeping?"

He shakes his head. His entire world has been thrown into utter disarray. No matter what's gonna happen, Shinji is sure in won't surprise him.

* * *

"Let's eat!" Misato says, excitement overflowing.

"Yeah." He doesn't try to hide his fear. "Let's eat." _This food might kill me._

Misato guzzles down an entire beer without stopping. "Woo yeah! Good stuff." Then, she burps. _Who the hell am I staying with?_ "You know, life doesn't get any better than this." She's so happy.

Shinji hasn't moved once. Like a statue, he sits on the other side of the table, staring at his new guardian. "Not hungry?" she asks. "It's good even if it's all instant." _Instead death._ He can't afford to anger her.

"I'm s-sorry. I'm just not used to food like this."  
"What?" He can't tell if she acting angry or if she is unhappy. "Are you finicky?" Who even uses that word anymore? Maybe she's smarter than she let's on.

She leans over on the table, in front of him. Oh shit. Her feminine, erm, assets are right there. Her shirt's hanging down, and her breasts are right there. His body tenses. She's saying words, but Shinji lets out a confused mumbling. _Stay down. Stay down. Think unsexy thoughts, like, um, getting a pole jabbed through my eye. So much pain._ He gulps. Unless he moves away from the dinner table, she won't see anything.

The rest of the evening whizzes by in a blur. They decide to split up the chores using rock paper scissors, but Misato cheats. The boy doesn't know how that's even possible, but he doesn't mind. Maybe she'll like him more if he does almost all of the chores. Plus, if she did cook, then he could die from food poisoning.

She did become unhappy about how he'd always say "Yes ma'am." She expected a normal kid, not him. _I was always more like my father than my mother or Rei, withdrawn and socially inept. Rei was better, but she has become like me too._

Now, he's standing naked in the bathroom. Misato's bras and panties hang on full display from a clothes rack. Never before had he seen so many female undergarments at once, ones that have been worn before no less. He sighs and opens the door to the tub. Something stands on the other side of the door.

"Oh look, a penguin," he mumbles. The penguin tilts his head almost as if it's wondering who this new person is. "Hey little guy." He kneels in front of the bird and pets his head which is covered in red feathers. "After everything I've been through, I'm sorry to say that you aren't a surprise to me." He reads the name on his collar. "You're name in Pen Pen?"  
"Wark."  
"It is nice to meet you. Do you live in that other fridge?"  
"Wark."  
"I don't speak penguin, but I hope we become friends. I never shared a home with a penguin. Or, um, a woman who isn't family."  
"Wark."

The penguin trots away. Shinji shakes his head. If the past few days weren't so freaky, then he'd have screamed and ran. _Crap, Misato would've seen me nude._ He blushes.

He washes, says goodnight, and goes to bed. He doesn't fall asleep. Instead, he listens to his SDAT player. When the music plays, nobody tries to bother him, nobody talks to him. He creates his own private universe. It's beautiful, since it's a world of only music and no pain.

The music stops; the tape ends. Shinji doesn't take out the ear buds. He lies in bed looking up. _An unfamiliar ceiling. Of course, in the whole city there's no place that's familiar. Hell, no one is familiar, not even Rei._

Bang!

Plain. So much pain. Memories tear their way into his mind and violate its sanctity. The Angel pierces through his skull. Blood shoots out onto the enemy covering it in red, but Shinji does not let go.

Voices. So many voices yell and scream, but their words mean nothing to Shinji. His mind surrenders his feelings. Pain, loneliness, fear. The basic human desire to survive overrides his sanity.

The boy and Eva roar. _**REI!**_ They grab the arms of the Angel and squeeze. The appendages snap spraying blue blood everywhere. His left arm burns as it heals itself.

The enemy backs away and erects a yellow barrier. Somehow, he knows it's an AT field. _Damn him!_ They pry open the shield using their hands and their own AT field. A blinding explosion consumes the Eva, but they rush through the beam. They pounce on top of the Angel.

Ripping a bone off of the being's chest, they use the tool to bash the red core until it cracks open. _We're not done yet._ They rip off its head and every limb. They tears strips of salty flesh with their teeth. They pound at its chest until the once unstoppable Angel becomes jelly spattered on the street.

Then, everything ends. They ran out of power. Somebody must've detached the umbilical cable from the Eva after he killed the enemy, but Shinji doesn't know this now. No, now he's crying and whimpering. His hands shake hard. He can't stop them.

He blacks out.

Shinji blinks. How could he even do that? _How could I rip it apart with my teeth? How did I know to use an AT field? I didn't want Rei hurt. She's safe. She's safe now. I did it. My Eva did it._

He rolls over in bed and curls into a ball. He hugs himself with his arms. _I need a hug._ Tears soak his pillow, but he doesn't make a sound, just breathing.

"Shinji, can I come in?" Misato asks. He doesn't respond. He can't get his lips to move. "I forgot to tell you something. You did something very good and very noble today. You should be proud. Good night Shinji, hang in there." She slides the door closed.  
"Misato?" His voice sound broken, like a man who came home from a war or a young boy crying out to his mother.  
"Yes."  
"I want to see Rei tomorrow."  
"You will. I promise."

 _Rei, I'm gonna see you smile. No matter what, I'll see you smile one more time. If I have to fight more than a dozen Angels, I will. For you, I will. Just let me see you smile. Let me know you're still there._

* * *

"May I come in?"

The Third Child stands in the doorway to her room. His eyes appear tired. Probability attests that he did not sleep last night. Since he asked a question, she must answer.

"Yes."

He steps inside. His movements are unrefined. His brow and hands sweat. His heart, in all likelihood, races. Shinji must be experiencing the emotion of nervousness. Either that or he could be in the beginning stages of a heart failure in which case she should contact the medical staff. Since the former appears more likely, she will not have doctors examine the Third Child at the moment.

He looks at her, but his eyes do not look into hers. It does not differ from other human interactions she has with all but Commander Ikari. No one but he can withstand her red, intense gaze.

"They told me that I should say, um, I'm your cousin." He clenches his left hand into a fist. His joints crack.  
"Correct."  
"Why?"  
"I did not ask."

The Third Child stares at the floor. His eyes appear moister than what they were twenty seconds ago. "D-do you… uh. Rei, do you like m-me?" His words carry the emotion of fear and pain.

She tilts her head. Does she like Shinji? That word does not hold a solid definition, and the Third Child may have an unexpected reaction depending on how she answers the question. "I do not understand."

He clenches his right hand as well. "Do you want me around? Would you rather have me leave?"  
"Yes."  
"To which one?"  
"The former."

The Third Child's lips curl upwards. He smiles, so the emotion he expresses is happiness. He looks up. His eyes meet hers. For over a minute, they stare into the deep and pained souls of the other.

"Sis, are you tired? You seem sorta dreary."  
"I will call you Third Child or Pilot Ikari in public. You use 'sis' and 'Rei' when in private settings. What word shall I use to address you in private?"

Shinji takes a step backwards and his left hand twitches. He appears surprised from her speaking more than four words at once, asking a question that could be socially inappropriate, or both.

"Call me Shinji like you always did." A tear drops down from his right eye. He sniffles.  
"Understood… Shinji."

He puts his hands in his pockets and glances at the door. "Hey, um, how many visitors do you have?"  
"Commander Ikari visits at seventeen hundred hours."  
"He's it? What about friends? You must have some friends."  
"I do not. Do you?"

He stares at his feet again. Perhaps it creates a mental barrier in his mind. If he cannot see the other person, then he feels safer. He has not progressed to more adult traits.

"You have a point, Rei. I, ah, I gotta go. Can I c-come back?"  
"You are authorized for visitations."  
"Good! I have tests and training at Central Dogma a lot. I can visit you here before or after."  
"Yes."

He smiles, bows, and leaves. His footsteps echo down the hall.

Rei closes her eyes and clears her head. Nothingness does not embrace her mind, for Shinji's face will not disappear. Now, more images of his face appear some of which contain a younger Shinji. Those contain smiling Shinjis.

In her attempt to gather more information on the Third Child, Rei amplified her problem. Yesterday, it would have caused more concern over her piloting abilities. Today, these mental images make her feel not as cold, warm. The sensation feels pleasant.

* * *

Shinji hides in a corner. He can't hold in the tears anymore. He covers his face and cries, hoping no one will wonder why there's a pathetic whimpering sound coming from a closet.

 _Rei! What happened to you? I can't deny it anymore. You're fucked up. Mr. Fuyutsuki said it wasn't their fault. If not NERV, then who!_

He sits down bumping into a bucket and mop. The bucket spills, splashing dirty water onto his pants. Shinji wipes more snot from his nose with his sleeve.

 _I can't take it anymore! I can't stand it anymore! I just saved the city from a damn monster, but I can't call you my sister? Why is that? Why. Why? Why!_

He picks up the bucket and throws it against the door. It thuds. He stands but slips from the water and falls. His rear will be bruised tomorrow morning.

 _Damn you, Father. Burn in hell. You kept Rei around, but she's screwed up. Something's so wrong. She doesn't laugh, smile, or show any indicator that she isn't a doll or a robot. You failed, Father. I'll do your job. Rei, I promise that I'll make you smile. I'll promise you that every day until you do._

He stands. This time, he balances himself using the shelving. He takes a minute to clear the snot and tears from his face. Then, he opens the door and steps out of the closet. He needs some answers first. There's just one person who has a chance of telling him anything.

* * *

"Doctor Ritsuko?" the Third Child asks. For some reason, pilot Ikari wears wet pants at this point even though it was one hour and forty six minutes since she has seen him. His pants were dry then. While the footage is not of a high quality, he may have been crying judging from his quick breathing, reddened eyes, and occasional sniffle.

"Shinji?" Doctor Akagi does not look up from her computer. She had been analyzing data from the Third Child's synchronizations all day. "What do you want?" Her tone makes it clear that she has no desire to speak with him.

"I… I want to know more about Rei." He sounds timid.

This time, the doctor does look up from the monitor. Silence envelopes both of them for a moment. Then, the blonde breaks the silence. "No."  
"Why?"  
"Safety."  
"Why is she a pilot?"  
"Discovered by accident. We brought you in because of your genetic similarity to Rei."  
"Why not soldiers?"

The doctor focuses her attention back on her data. "Only kids born after the Second Impact can pilot. So far, it's just you three."  
"Where's the other one? The Second?"  
"Germany. Red tape. Should be here soon. Let me get back to work."  
"Yes ma'am."

He leaves. Rei turns off the laptop disconnecting it from the MAGI supercomputers. The girl holds a small form of respect for the machines. They always follow orders, but they run Central Dogma and the entirety of Tokyo-3. Commander Ikari also authorized Rei full access to the MAGI, so she can watch security footage. The Commander showed the emotion of surprise, meaning his eyes opened wider by a few centimeters, when she asked him for her laptop.

This footage shows that the Third Child wishes to know more about her. His mental state will remain in a much better condition if his knowledge is limited. The fourth Angel will attack in approximately one week. Since the Commander will not allow her to pilot injured, then the Third Child will face another Angel alone. She feels colder from that thought.

She opens the laptop again and accesses more footage of the Third Child. The ones from his apartment intrigue her. The interactions between Captain Katsuragi and pilot Ikari differ from their working relationship. The younger appears to be the caregiver and takes many roles that used to be assigned to women. He cleans, cooks, and washes their clothes.

On the other hand, Captain Katsuragi appears to have formed a chemical dependence on alcohol. Would such a dependence hinder her function as strategist and director of the Evangelion? Nonetheless, Commander Ikari believes the woman is the best choice, so Rei will accept that judgment for now.

Furthermore, she enjoys teasing her fellow pilot. The most common line involves his visits to Rei over the past week. For example, the Third Child's guardian told him yesterday that he "has the cutest crush ever on Rei." He almost choked on the rice he was consuming at the time. Captain Misato may come to regret this line of teasing if she ever learns of his and her true relationship.

Rei clicks on the live footage. Katsuragi snores on her bed surrounded by crunched beer cans. That is uninteresting and unsurprising. Shinji lies on his bed while wearing ear buds. While illogical, his SDAT player does not play music. Does her wear the ear buds to cancel some of the snoring?

From all of the information she has gathered on the Third Child, she must conclude that he feels alone, very isolated. The only individual who he does not shy away from is herself. Therefore, she must continue with conversing with him when he visits. While she would rather be in harm's way, he has to pilot. If he feels alone and no one has a bond with him, then pilot Ikari will quit.

Rei finds that unacceptable.

* * *

 _The worst kinds of dreams are the ones that seem real. Here I am in one._

 _The Angel blows a hole in my head. I clutch my eye and fall to the ground, but instead of getting up, I cry. The Angel walks away. Misato, Dr. Ritsuko, and even my father yell at me. "Get up, Shinji! Don't run away!" I curl up into a ball._

 _Someone puts a video feed in front of me. Even when I close my eye, the images still flash inside my head. The Angel break through the surface of GeoFront. It rips into Central Dogma. It steps on those three computer technicians. Misato fires her pistol, but the beast tears her in half. She screams for another three seconds. It throws Dr. Ritsuko down a chasm and smashes Mr. Fuyutsuki into a red goo. It picks up my father and bites off his head. My father's last words were, "You disgust me, son."_

 _Then, the monster saunters to the hospital. Rei! I have to get up, but there's too much pain. I can't. God damn it, I can't! It tears out her wall. Rei lies in bed and stares at the Angel. She doesn't show fear, just acceptance. The monster picks her up. "Shinji, you could have saved me," she says. Then, it squeezes. She lets out a scream, then her body pops like a firework._

" _Nooo!"_

I open my eyes. I've woken every night in a cold sweat. Then, I stare at my ceiling for an hour or two until I fall asleep again. It has happened for a week, ever since my battle.

Wait. Why do I hear the clanking of train tracks?

I shake my head. My vision clears. It's night, and I'm in a train car. I look around. I'm alone accept for a girl sitting across from me. It's Rei. Um, I think it's her. There's a bright moon behind her head, so I can't focus on her face. She's wearing the same clothing as the Rei I saw in the city, the Rei that vanished.

"You are afraid." Something's wrong with her voice. It sounds as though it's farther away than a few meters.  
"Yes."  
"You are afraid of people."  
"What?"

The girl tilts her head. "You fear people more than your Evangelion or the Angels. You fear the pain caused by relationships. Even with Rei, you want to befriend her, yet you are horrified by who she has become."  
"Yes."  
"Humans are adaptable, but adaptation takes time. I do not except you to show marked improvement for some time, but you must adapt before the end."

She sighs. "I know it is not fair to place humanity's burden on just one soul, a broken one no less. Shinji, you will bear that burden alone unless you share it with others. It is like hedgehogs in the winter."  
"What?"  
"Would you rather be pricked and prick others in order to stay warm, or would you rather freeze to death in the winter?"  
"I still don't get it. Why am I even dreaming this?"  
"Shinji, you will understand, but I hope you do before it is too late. Also, this is not a dream."

They enter a tunnel. Without the moon behind her head, Shinji sees her face. It's Rei, but her red eyes glow. She smiles. Most of all, she looks content.

Shinji opens up his eyes. He does not sweat. In fact, he feels relaxed. He closes his eyes again and sleeps well for the rest of the night.

* * *

Misato's voice: "Shinji's life is busier than ever, but he keeps to himself except for Rei. After revealing he's the pilot, his new hero status brings both embarrassment and the wrath of one boy in particular. Oh, there's also an Angel. Don't miss the next chapter, and I'll sneak in a little bonus!"

* * *

Author's notes: Don't yell at me for making Rei act sort of like a stalker. She doesn't know any better.

In the show, this episode focused on Misato and Shinji's characters to give us more of an idea of who we're watching. Figuring y'all most likely know more than enough on both, I focused on any differences that my point of divergence caused. Shinji does have a bit more spine when it comes to Rei, but he's still Shinji. There's only so much the poor boy can handle.

Oh, we also got to see Pen Pen. Hurray!

When writing, it is interesting to see how depressing and mellow everything is (even considering the Angel attacks) before Asuka arrives. Shinji is this scared boy who both fears loneliness and human interaction. Rei is, well, Rei.

At least the two other stooges will show up. They're fun. Plus, Toji's "introduction" to Shinji excites me. It is the first of a few scenes that made me write this fanfic in the first place.

Also, keep the reviews coming! Also, feel free to follow or favorite this. :)

Response to some of the reviews:  
D4P, he kept the secret so far…  
ADD, not exactly…

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

Shinji didn't run out of the bathroom screaming and naked after seeing a penguin.  
The Angel Sachiel doesn't explode. It's crushed by (at least) a semi-aware Shinji and Unit 01.  
Shinji has been visiting Rei in the hospital despite his distress at her current condition.  
Rei is passing the time watching security footage of Shinji. (That was very weird to type.)  
Rei knows the approximate date of the next Angel attack.  
Shinji had a visit from Train Car Rei. (That'll be my term for her for now.)


	4. The Phone That Never Rings

Chapter 3

 _Friends are a term I only know in theory. I have observed friends, but never have I had one. Well, Rei's the exception, but is it proper to call her a friend when she's my sister as well? I'm not sure. Either way, Rei holds the distinction of being the only person in my life who I could consider a friend. I hope we still are._

 _After my father sent me away, I didn't try to make more friends nor did anyone want to befriend the quiet little boy who cried all day. Why would I need friends? The utter pain of losing Rei was and is unbearable. Even fighting in the Eva doesn't hurt this way. I lost a part of myself at nine, the moment I couldn't see Rei anymore. I'm trying to find that piece of me._

 _One thing's for sure. I'm not making another friend._

* * *

Colors flash, but Shinji doesn't pay attention. It's funny. He was terrified of syncing at first, but that feeling wore off. Now, he doesn't feel much of anything. It's like riding a bike. He was so proud when he first learned how. The boy boasted in front of Rei and even had the courage to ask his father to watch. After a few days, it was just a thing he did, like chores.

"Good morning, Shinji. How's it going?" _I can tell you're faking an interest, Ritsuko._ The LCL still tastes like blood.  
"No problems. I think I'm getting used to it." His voice sounds tired.

The Angel attacked a few weeks ago, and the training works. He's getting better, but it's just boring.

"That's good. Have you memorized the positions of all of the Eva emergence positions, emergency power junctions, armament equipment buildings, and recovery zones?" There's dozens of them scattered around the city, maybe hundreds. He never bothered to count. Most of them are geometrically placed. If he imagines the city like a clock, then most of the different places are easy to remember. Plus, Rei gave him a map. That was nice of her.

"I guess so." The ones outside the city a bit are harder.  
"Well, let's review it now."

When she talks, Shinji runs through it himself in his mind. _Power, umbilical cable. I need that. Battery, one minute at full power, five with some, a dozen hours in super conservation mode._

She asked him something. Guessing she wanted to know if he was listening, he answers, "Yes." _I sound like a bored Rei. Crap. Sorry Rei. I didn't mean to insult you._

"Okay!" That sounds cheery. "We have something new for you today." Good. No more, _Position the target in the center. Pull the trigger._

"What is it?" He hopes it might be not boring.  
"Some hand to hand combat training. We had an… unexpected source that proved to be convincing." What does that even mean?

That Angel appears before him. It stands on the other side of the city, but it charges at him. _Hand to hand? Crap. This is gonna hurt. Why does the damn simulation have to feel so realistic?_

"Shinji, take out your Progressive Knife," Misato says. She's nicer than Ritsuko even if she's a slob at home. Does Ritsuko have a clean home?  
"Where is that?"  
"Your shoulder."

Shinji looks at his shoulder pylon. A compartment opens up and a knife handle appears. _That would've been helpful during the real battle._ He takes it out. The blade vibrates and makes his hand tingle.

He looks up. The Angel leaps into the air. Shinji jumps back. _This is gonna suck._

* * *

Shinji puts the bag of burnable trash at the pick-up spot. It's the only bag out there for the entire apartment complex. Either Misato was wrong about what day they pick up the burnable trash, or the apartment doesn't have many people. He knows there are at least a few other people. He as seen them before, but they never said anything to him. _I guess they all evacuated. Well, there could've been no one here in the first place. Misato said it was finished a week before I got here._

Misato has been difficult. He tries to be helpful, but she's either drunk, sleeping, or teasing him while they're together away from NERV. He doesn't know which he prefers. She becomes so gross when drunk, she snores, and she won't stop saying how much he wants to have… um, sex… ew, with Rei. _Damn NERV. You won't let me tell Misato? She's a captain and the operations director! If she ever learns the truth, then it will be so awkward._

Shinji double-checks that he has his cell phone. The phone rests in his pocket. It's one benefit of being a pilot. Not many people have such advanced technology. Street and home phones are everywhere. He should ask for Rei's number when he sees her at school. That way, he'll have a use for the cell phone other than NERV stuff. He suspects she doesn't talk to anyone but NERV on her cell as well. Hell, Rei doesn't talk to anyone at school unless it's necessary. She's just like him.

He walks to school. He enters school. He enters his schoolroom. It is such a tedious and monotonous ritual.

Why don't they use tutors for Rei and him? Shinji knows enough to advance to the next grade or so, and Rei was smarter than him when they were kids. Yet, they still attend the normal grade level for their age and the same classroom. Maybe NERV wants them to feel normal, even if it's just for a bit. It's a good thing no one knows he's a pilot. Since no one talks to Rei, he doesn't know if they're aware of her job.

He stands by his desk for a moment wanting to talk with his sister, but he sits down. She stares out the window with her bandages round her arm and head. He's glad she's out of the hospital, but he notices how her eyes still show pain.

There's a social stigma in the class about talking to that weird blue haired girl. The happiest girl Shinji ever knew has become a social outcast like himself. _Fuck you, father._

He'll ask for her number later. If the class starts teasing him about wanting to… ew, that's so gross… with his sister, then it'd be bad for both him and her. Why can't he act like a brother around his sister?

Instead, he plugs in his ear buds. He doesn't listen to music, but it's like a shield to protect him. Being around so many happy people makes him nervous, and plugging in the ear buds helps.

Some boy making over the top airplane noises catches Shinji's attention. He doesn't turn his head, but he decides to listen. He used to make those sounds with Rei when they played made-up war with each other.

"What's up, class rep?" Airplane boy got into trouble. The class rep, Hikari, wouldn't talk to a boy before class unless he did something wrong. Unlike how he views the rest of the class, except Rei, Shinji sees Hikari as someone he wouldn't mind talking to. She's to the point, direct. Most of all, she takes her duties seriously and may care for her fellow students under her guise of being the "tough boss". She reminds him of Misato when she's on duty and not recovering from a hangover.

"Did you deliver the printout I gave you yesterday?" He's right. Airplane boy did something wrong.  
"What… um… um…" Shinji hears papers being crunched. "There wasn't anyone home at Toji's place."  
"Aida, aren't you Suzuhara's friend? Are you even just a little bit worried about him?" Good tactic, the guilt trip.  
"You don't suppose he was injured, do you?" _Shit._ No one told him about casualties or injuries. He asked, but they didn't tell. He asked Rei a few days ago, her last day in the hospital. She told him there were casualties and injuries but not the numbers. He hasn't talked to her since. He never got the courage to ask her where she lived knowing full well it must be with his father. He'll never set foot in the place his father calls home.

"What? You mean in that robot incident? The television reports said that nobody was injured." _You're too trusting, Hikari._  
"No way. You saw the N2 explosion, didn't you? There were fighters scrambled everywhere, and there were troops from other cities even. I bet at least ten or twenty people are injured, and there had to be a few fatalities too." Airplane boy, Aida, sounds like a curious person. At the very least, he's not gullible.

The door to their room slides open. "Toji!" Aida sounds surprised to see his friend. What's airplane boy's given name?  
"Suzuhara." Hikari sounds worried. Shinji doesn't turn around to see Toji.  
A new voice, Toji's, grumbles and asks, "Where is everyone? Has our entire class disappeared or what?"  
Aida says, "They've all either evacuated or they've transferred to other schools. No one wants to stay here after that last battle in the city." _Yeah, no kidding. I'd leave, but I'm the damn pilot._  
"Yeah, you're the only one who's actually enjoying the chance to see a real war." _Huh, Aida likes military things. Maybe I should listen to others' conversations more often instead of droning them out._  
"That's true. Speaking of which, where have you been, Toji? Why were you absent so long? Did you get involved in the war?"  
"No, but my little sister did." He sounds angry. _Wait. His little sister? If he hurt someone's little sister…_ "She was crushed under a pile of debris." Shinji uses all of his strength to not vomit all over his desk. _I'm a monster._ "She survived, but she's been in the hospital ever since." _Thank the gods, but I'm still a monster._ "My dad and granddad are working at the lab and they can't leave their posts, so… If I'm not with her, she's all alone." _Just like what I did with Rei._

Toji yells, "That robot's pilot's really dumb! It makes me so angry! How can he wreck our own city? What did that stupid idiot think her was doing?" _I hurt a little girl, like Rei. I'm horrible. I'm so horrible._  
"Speaking about the pilot, have you heard the rumor about the transfer student?" _Shit._  
"What transfer student?"  
"Him, over there. The one that's crying." _I'm crying?_ He feels his cheek. _Oh, I am. Crap. I'm horrible and a weak coward._ "He transferred in while you were absent, right after the giant robot incident." _Damn. Don't be so weak. I hurt a little girl like Rei. I… I… I have to do something._ "Don't you think that's a little bit of a-."

Shinji stands up almost pushing his desk over. He rips out his ear buds and turns around. Before he can say anything, their professor enters the classroom. He looks old enough to retire a decade ago. This also means he won't be able to say anything to Toji for now.

"All rise!" Hikari says.

 _Shit. Now, I'll have to wait till lunch. I'm… I'm not gonna lose my courage by then. I won't be able to apologize or, well, anything._

* * *

The professor drones on about the Second Impact. _A meteor blew up Antarctica, half the world's population died from war and natural disasters, and the top half of the world's stuck in endless summer. We already know. Why are we being taught this? It's the biggest thing to happen to the earth since… ever._

Shinji doesn't try to look interested. He stares out the window. Maybe that's why Rei does this too. She's bored?

His laptop beeps. Next to his math notes on the screen, the word CALL flashes in red. Hikari told him something about private messages, but no one talked to him yet. He clicks on CALL.

"Are you the pilot of the robot? Y/N," it reads. _Damn it._ He makes a nervous mumble. He looks around. Did Aida send it? No, two girls at the back smile and wave at him. One of the girls types again. "It's true, isn't it? Y/N"

He gulps. No one said he couldn't tell them he's the pilot. Maybe some of them would like him for saving the city… No, Rei… They could ask questions. Someone might think she's his sister since they look so much alike, especially if they know she's the other pilot. Also, Toji's sister… He injured her.

Shinji moves his finger away from the Y. "Sorry. No," he types. He hears several students groan. _I guess the messaging isn't private._ Another CALL flashes on his screen.

"This is a real PM. I know that you lied. Watch out for Toji. He's pissed. – Kensuke." Who's Kensuke? Shinji looks around the classroom. Only the Aida guy is making eye contact with him. Shinji nods at a turtle's pace at the boy. Kensuke types again. "I have many questions." Shinji nods.

The bells ring. "All rise!" Hikari says.

* * *

That felt good, really good. It hurts, but it's a good pain. It's pain he deserves for hurting Toji's sister. Shinji couldn't stop himself from grunting though. Toji stands above him with his arm still outstretched. Shinji sits up off of the ground and wipes the blood off of his lip.

Toji lowers his fist and rubs his hands together. He doesn't look furious, just angry. He's aware of what he did, though Shinji would've preferred if Toji said something before hitting him in the face. _He could've at least confirmed if I was the pilot._

"Sorry newcomer." _No, I should be apologizing to you._ "But I had to clobber you. I had to pop you one to work off my own anger."

Shinji does nothing. He sits on the ground and rubs the wound.

Kensuke steps beside Shinji and offers his hand. "He's mean, right? His little sister was injured the last time you and your robot fought a battle. Well, that's his excuse anyway." _Now, Kensuke apologizes too. I'm such a wimp._ Toji turns around and walks away.  
"Sorry," he says.

Toji stops. He marches back to Shinji and picks him up by his shirt. With his feet dangling above the ground, Toji glares into his eyes. Then, he punches Shinji again, knocking him flat on his back.

His head swirls. Rational thought ends as adrenaline pumps through his body. All he can see is Rei on the day the reunited, her grimacing in pain and bleeding from her injuries.

Shinji sits up again. "I didn't have a choice." He spits out blood. "It was me or my sister. She was injured. They were about to load her in. I held her as she bled on me. I never piloted that monster before in my life! Hell, I never saw it before!"

Neither boy reacts to his words. They don't know how to react to something so unexpected. "Uh…" is all Toji manages to say before they're interrupted.

"Classmates Aida and Suzuhara, get to your shelters. Angel," Rei says. She sounds as monotone as always. This time, the boys gasp. Shinji's head returns to normal. _Didn't they hear her speak before?_ Both of them hoist up Shinji. They let go when he has firm footing. Then, the alarms go off. Wait. An Angel! Crap. Not now. "Come."

Shinji and Rei run to the street to find one of Section 2's cars. Neither runs that fast. Both of them are injured children. One is about to risk his life saving the world, again.

* * *

"Not again!" Kensuke doesn't look up from his camera.

"Just text messages?" Toji sounds half intersected.  
"It's news censorship. The government won't let them show any of the battle to us civilians even though it's an incredible historic event."

The shelter feels like a mixture between a gas chamber and an oven. The walls are a plain cement. Plus, there's a couple dozen sweaty middle school students crammed in here as well. An automatic audio blares over the speakers telling people stuff that's not too important right now. What's happening outside?

"Hey Ken?" He swerves his camera to focus on his friend. Most of the time, Toji sits down with straight posture. Right now, he's hunched over.  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm gonna confess to the Class Rep."  
"What! Fighting an Angel with nothing but a laptop would be safer."  
"I feel like shit."  
"Serves you right. He's just like you, and you both protected your sisters. Still, she'll skin you alive, then make you mop the floor for the entire school year. Shouldn't you apologize to Ikari anyway?"

Toji takes off his shoes trying to find some break from the heat. Maybe the track uniform that he always wears doesn't help either.

"Hey Toji." Kensuke's voice becomes a whisper. "I need to speak with you in private."  
"Why?"  
"I wanna see… it."  
"Dang, well, we'll commit suicide together. This'll cause a distraction."

Without explaining himself further, Toji stands and marches over to the boss lady herself. Kensuke would rather take his chances with the Angel, which he'll do.

"Hey Class Rep!" Everyone turns to Toji. Kensuke slips outside.  
"Now what?"  
"I have… I did something wrong."

Kensuke doesn't hear anything else. He doesn't want to either. There's just three things he fears. Someone looks through his browsing history, living his life without seeing one battle, and the fury of Hikari Horaki.

* * *

Misato and Ritsuko speak to him, but Shinji doesn't pay attention to what they say. He's a horrible person. If he lives, this battle will hurt like hell, a fitting damnation. _I hurt a little sister. What's to stop me from hurting Rei? Nothing. There's nothing. I do something that'd make her cry. I'll kill anyone who does that! Even myself._

The g-forces push down on the Eva and Shinji. He feels both. The catapult will take some getting used to, but it is fast. In life or death situations, speed could be the difference between a little girl dying or living.

 _Position. Target. Pull the switch._

The catapult stops. The door opens to reveal Shinji's in the middle of Tokyo-3. He can't see the Angel, but an alien sound comes from the other side of a skyscraper. He grabs a gun, turns the corner, and fires. Before he could see the foe, a cloud of smoke obscures his view. _Oops._ Misato yells something at him. He doesn't hear that either. He breathes. He needs to focus.

Shinji falls flat on his back trying to doge the attack. Something came out of the smoke. It sliced the end off of his gun and half of a building, like butter. _Laser whips?_

The smoke clears. Looks like a giant floating penis with pink, glowing laser whips. _There's no way I can get past those whips!_ He dodges strike after strike. He crashes through some buildings while the whips demolish others. He's too slow. The whips contact his Eva. Pain erupts across his chest while an alarm beeps. The umbilical cable must've been severed. _I'm gonna die!_

The creature wraps its appendage around his ankle. It flings him out of the city and crashes into the mountainside. He blacks out for a moment. Most of his body burns. His head throbs. _I'm pathetic._

He's about to get back up when he realizes that one student… airplane boy… Kensuke! Kensuke shakes in fear under his left hand. He'll crush him if he gets up. _I won't._

A shadow covers Shinji. The creature hovers over the Eva. As the whips come down to tear him apart, Shinji grabs both. His hands burn in pain as if he feels them melting.

"Shinji! Let that boy into the cockpit. Then, make a temporary retreat. We'll start again later. Hold the Eva on its current commands and eject the entry plug." Was the Misato? His ears are full of the sound of his pounding heart.

He follows his orders. He hears Kensuke get inside. The Eva feels fuzzier. _He's messing with my sync._ He throws the Angel back and stands. Misato yells at him to retreat.

 _Wait. If I retreat, then… then the Angel could reach Central Dogma. Rei's there._

"I must protect Rei. I must protect Rei. I must protect Rei!" The Progressive Knife exists from his shoulder pylon. He grabs it with his burnt hand, but he wills it to work. Misato yells at him to retreat. Screw her. Rei could get hurt.

The timer beeps. One minute left. The rational part of Shinji's brain shuts off leaving one through. _Protect Rei._

He makes a sound that'll haunt all who heard it to their grave. He screeches like a madman, for in this moment he lost all sanity. _Protect Rei._

He stampedes down the hills and jumps at the Angel. It stabs its two whips through his chest, but the unbearable pain doesn't register in his mind. He hacks at the monster, tearing out chunks and slicing deep gashes. His other hand claws around the core. He bites into the Angel's left shoulder and tears out that whip. The other whip falls to the ground from his random cutting. _Protect Rei._

He stabs his knife through the monster's core. He grabs the head and end of the being that dared to hurt Rei. He pulls with all of his strength and rips the monster in two. Moments before he runs out of power, he smashes the core like a pumpkin. _I protected Rei._

Power ends; his connection ends. Only now does he stop his shrieking.

 _Did I just do that?_ The Angel's remains are splattered across the hill making the green grass red. A hunk of its flesh falls from his Eva's mouth. Blood pours out from his unit's two chest wounds.

He whimpers in his chair. Far away, he hears people talking to him, but their voices echo. Shinji is alone and scared.

* * *

Shinji sits on the floor in the fetal position, rocking back and forth. The cell feels cold to the touch. How long has he been in solitary confinement?

Misato came in to yell at him. She did for a few seconds, but then she stopped. _I guess my tears affected her._ She sits next to him. She wraps her arm around his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" It's a dumb question. No, he's not, but she does sound concerned.  
"I'm sorry." His voice cracks, like a young boy who was punched by his father.  
"You saved the city, again. We're proud of you."  
"Didn't you see what I did?" He doesn't look up. His head still buries itself in his knees.

Of course she saw everything. Their command center has video of everything. She saw him go berserk.

"That's why I'm proud of you even though you disobeyed my orders. You have the weight of the world on your shoulders Shinji. I'm sorry I can't take any of that weight off."

Shinji wants to say how he hurt Toji's sister. He wants to ask how many civilians died or how he swallowed a piece of the Angel. He doesn't. He can't.

"Hey," she says. She hugs the boy. "Let's go home. I'm sorry I put you in solitary. I didn't know you were…" _Pathetic. I am pathetic. I want Rei. I want my mom._

Shinji looks up with bloodshot eyes. Salty streaks run down his face, and LCL is still caked to his hair. He buries his head into Misato's shoulder. She gasps.

"Momma. I want my mom! Mommy."

Misato tries to find the right words, but she can't. All she can do is cry with the world's savior, a little boy who wants his mother.

* * *

Misato's voice: "While Shinji tries to come to terms with what he did, let's take a break from our poor pilot to see how a hotheaded girl handles being away from the action. What will she do knowing some untrained nobody is taking all of her glory? Oh, and there's also a womanizer with a ponytail."

* * *

Author's notes: Yeah, this chapter was very weird to write. I set myself up differently for how my "Episode Four" will go (after the chapter in Germany). After some deliberation, writing a couple thousand words of… well… There's over a minute and a half of Misato and Shinji staring at each other and grunting at the end of Hedgehog's Dilemma. That's not easy to write. Plus, there's no way Shinji (right now at least) is ever going to leave without Rei. I hope that would've been pretty obvious by now.

I also realized there wasn't much Rei in this chapter. Sorry. Additionally, I used a Kensuke POV. That wasn't part of the plan, but I didn't want to cut out that entire scene.

If you think Shinji is acting out of character, please let me know. I feel like I'm mashing together his self-depreciating nature, his desperate need for love, his connection to Rei, and his less-than-total mental stability. I'm hoping the result is still Shinji. The last section (where he cries out for his mom) was pretty hard to write. After a few rewrites, that's the one I liked best.

I also hope you liked Shinji's "introduction" to Toji.

Thanks for the comments, favorites, and follows. Keep them coming!  
I do specifically request feedback on my next chapter. Asuka is both the most challenging and fun character to write. I really want to not mess her up. Any feedback on her will be highly appreciated. (Though, I appreciate all of your comments a ton.) I like my "portrails" of Shinji and Rei. I wouldn't want to screw up the story's third main character.

Replies to comments:  
D4P, I love foreshadowing. There's a bit in this one too, but nothing of great magnitude. Train Car Rei is… somewhere. No spoilers.  
ToAT, I'm trying to do a chapter a week. I write better with some format of a time structure.  
UNAN, there's honestly quite a few points in the story where I could see this reveal happening. It'll certainly throw a monkey wrench into things.

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

Shinji had some training with his knife.  
Shinji's pilot status is mostly unknown by the class.  
The dynamic duo knows that Shinji has a sister who is a pilot.  
Only Kensuke went out to see the battle while Toji confessed to Hikari about punching Shinji.  
Shamshel was destroyed in a much more gruesome fashion (and its S2 core was smashed).


	5. Interlude Asuka

Interlude Asuka

 _I have trained my whole life to be better than everyone else. I am special, different. In my beautiful Eva, I could kill anything. Angels, people, and other Evas wouldn't stand a chance. My body adapted into a killing machine. As I fight in life or death battles, I could calculate college-level math problems if I wanted to, but I don't. The battle is much too fun._

 _My name is Asuka Langley Sohryu. I am afraid of the dark, I don't have any friends, and I hate dolls._

* * *

A warm summer breeze blows through the park. Leaves crackle overhead while a squirrel hops from branch to branch going somewhere it deems important. Children laugh and scream on a meager playground, just three swings and a slide.

Asuka sits down under the shade of a beech tree. She clenches her fist in the grass and rips out a few green strands. The green oozes onto her fingers as she squeezes the blades together. _Will the grass feel different in Japan?_ She doesn't know. Textbooks don't say what the grass feels like. They only give the Latin names and have pictures.

A bird lands on a branch above her head. It cocks its head at the girl looking for food. She picks up a rock and throws it at the creature, and the rock hits its branch. The bird flies away chirping out in fear. _Do the birds sound different over there?_ She sighs and leans back against the tree.

 _Killing the Angels will be fun. Everyone will know how I saved the world which'd be great. What I'm not looking forward to is the downtime. No one there will be worth talking to. The Japanese are so strange. Will they even know what a bratwurst tastes like? Hell, I don't think they'll even know what that word means let alone its mouthwatering aroma and delicious flavor._

The Section 2 guards try to keep their distance. Except for Asuka, no one pays much attention to the inconspicuous men, but to her, they stand out like sore thumbs. For several years, they follow her wherever she goes. Even the damn janitors at college had a pistol hidden under their shirt. At least these goons won't follow her to Japan. Their white skin would stick out like sore thumbs wherever they'd go on that island chain, thus Asuka feels happy. She'll have the entire boat trip with Kaji without the watchful eyes of others. Her methods of seduction should be finalized by tomorrow. One month on the aircraft carrier should be more than enough time.

The man will see how she's a woman. Then, he'll be wrapped around her finger. She smiles at the thought. Kaji hasn't fallen to her charms yet, but he will. Everyone will see how she's great when they see such a wonderful and thirty year old man loves her.

Asuka stands up and looks down at her body. She isn't missing much, so that shouldn't be a problem. She's very well developed for a thirteen year old. Straightening out her yellow sundress, she imagines what she'll look like a four more years. _Everyone will marvel at my beauty._

Someone taps her shoulder. Asuka spins around, ready to kick the pervert. She stops when she sees a Section 2 guard. He wears tan pants and a collared shirt while his hair looks to be an inch long at most. He holds out a vibrating phone. On its screen, it reads the words "Kaji". She snatches the phone from his hand and answers it.

"Hallo, Kaji!"  
"Hey, I'll be late tonight. There's a bit of extra work I have to do."  
"Ich verstehe." She uses a whine that took a year to perfect.  
"Also, could you please start using Japanese to speak? You need to get used to it. You'll be speaking it for a while." _Oh Kaji, you are so thoughtful, but I'm already thinking in this damn language for that very purpose._  
"Nein."  
"Why?"  
"Ich bin in Deutschland."  
"Also, have you finished packing your clothes for the trip? I'll have NERV ship over the rest of your things pronto."  
"Ja. Dank!"  
"See you soon."

He ends the call, so she tosses the phone back to the Section 2 guard. He snatches it out of the air and slinks away back into the shadows. Asuka cannot escape the gaze from others' eyes. Being a pilot has ensured this fate, so she might as well make the best of it. All who look at her should see the most amazing person ever, the envy of women and the dream of men. Though, none of the men will snag her. That spot's for Kaji.

She resumes her walk in the park, her last one before she leaves. She never got to walk in parks. Maybe as a young child she did, but she doesn't remember any of that. She remembers hours in an Entry Plug, grueling physical training, and the white walls of NERV Berlin. When everyone sees the Great Asuka Langley Sohryu, then her training will be worth it. Those assholes in college didn't appreciate her. They resented her as a child prodigy, but Asuka realized that they don't see her as a hero yet. They will soon enough.

As she passes by the playground, she hears muffled whimpers from a child, female ones. Turning her head, she sees a little girl in a red dress sitting on the ground and covering her head. Above her on the slide, a little boy pelts her with small stones and a pinecone. _Dicks even at the age of four, unsurprising._ She looks around for their parents, but she sees only one woman, one with a phone pressed against her ear and her eyes off the children.

She marches over to the two. Her feet kick up sand, so both kids stop moving and gaze at her. Even though the boy sits at eye level from the slide, she still finds a way to tilt her head so she can look down at him. She projects an aurora of superiority that she practiced in front of the mirror for dozens of hours. Both children look at the ground, uncomfortable with the stranger's presence.

"Du." She points at the little girl. "Weine nicht." The kid blinks trying to hold in her tears and dies off her face with her sleeve. The boy tosses the stones behind him when he thinks Asuka isn't looking. She shakes her head at his pathetic attempt to destroy evidence.

"Du." She changes her tone to an abrasive growl. "Gehst weg!" The boy runs away from the terrifying girl. Asuka holds in her laughter. _Coward. Pathetic._

"Was machst du Madchen?" The woman at least noticed what was happening, but she sounds pissed at her. _Bitch._ She stops a meter away from Asuka and towers over her. The woman wants to make her cower like the boy, but Asuka doesn't feel intimidated in the slightest.  
"Dein sohn?" She points at the boy, now cowering behind the woman's legs.  
"Ja."  
"Er warf Steine auf sie." She points from the boy to the little girl then back at the mother. "Dummkopf!"

The woman's eyes flash in anger from Asuka's disrespect. She raises her hand to slap the girl. _Surprising. You have a very short temper. Bad move._

In one fluid motion, Asuka ducks under the woman's wild swing and trips her. The mother falls on her ass, so Asuka points and laughs. Before the woman could stand back up, she's surrounded by four Section 2 guards. Her eyes open wide. Without a word, she scrambles away with her asshole son afraid of a thirteen year old.

After a moment, the girl tugs at Asuka's dress. "Vielen dank," she says smiling. Her voice sounds squeaky.  
"Bitte."  
"Wie heissen sie?"  
"Asuka. Ich bin ein Pilot, ein Evangelion. Es ist rot." She points to her red hair for emphasis.

"Schatzi!" a new woman calls out.  
The little girl runs to her mother singing, "Mutter! Mutter!"

Asuka walks away. The girl passes through crowds of bustling people. They wear the latest fashion and talk in their own meaningless conversations. None of them pay attention to her. Some hold hands. Others kiss. She turns her head away from them all and increases her walking speed. _Perverts._

Berlin thrives as a metropolis, the pride of Germany. After Second Impact, it became the capitol of the EU as well. Germany came out unscathed and poured recourses in. Berlin held the title for most advanced city in the world until some assholes in Japan built an entire city from scratch. Still, the city became even more of a powerhouse when NERV built a branch here. That's why Berlin constructed Unit 02.

Asuka steps inside of the Section 2 car. Without a word, her driver takes to her home, though it's not a real home. Her house would be her father's, but he can rot in hell for all she cares. Her home used to be at college, but she graduated. Now, she lives at an apartment inside NERV's base. It's a drabby shithole.

She takes out her little gaming console and plays some side scroller. She forgot its name, but she found it passes the time just fine. It's not as if she has anyone who'll play, talk, or text with her. Children her age are much too stupid anyway.

When the car stops, she exits and blinks three times to get her eyes adjusted to the light. She walks up the stairs to the grey, rectangular apartment complex and her door, number 02. She demanded that number so it would match her Eva's.

She pushes the door open. Boxes stack up to the roof, and she packed every one of them. They'll ship the boxes but take along some suitcases for the trip. The walls are grey. The kitchen is white which doesn't go well with the blue carpet. Three windows give in natural light in the main room.

She sits down at a desk and powers on the computer monitor. They came with the apartment so they stay. She smacks the top of the monitor and curses the lack of technological progress since Second Impact. They've built damn supercomputers with actual brains, but most people don't have a cell phone or a laptop. Hell, Asuka doesn't have one no matter how much she complains.

The monitor finally turns on. She enters the MAGI network. Even though the three MAGI all have names attached to their brains, Asuka thinks of them collectively as bitches.

"Request name of Third Child." She hits enter. After a moment, she receives a response.  
"DENIED. CLASSIFIED." _Bitches! They know I'm the Second Child. Why won't they tell me the God damned names of the other two?_  
"Request classified details on the battles involving Sachiel and Shamshel."  
"DENIED. INSUFFICIENT CLEARANCE." _Every God damned time they give me the same response._  
"Request sync scores of Third Child."  
"DENIED. CLASSIFIED."  
"Fuck you, bitches!"  
"UNABLE TO COMPLY."

She turns off the screen and lets out a loud moan. She mopes over to the TV and turns on a soap opera. Some pretty girl lies in a coma. _What a stupid thing to do to a character. Why does every soap opera have to have someone in a coma?_ She doesn't turn the channel instead thinking of how much she hates soap operas. As least it's in German. In Japan, there won't be anything in German.

She stares at the TV for hours and slips into a mindless daze. Someone knocks on the door, and Asuka jolts back to reality. She hears someone twist a key on the lock, and Kaji enters. He holds the key in one hand and a suitcase and a bag of food in the other.

"Kaji!" She sprints up to him and leaps onto him. She wraps her arms around his neck and holds him tight.  
"Um, I'm glad to see you too. Could you let go though, please?"  
"Fur dich." She let's go and her feet his the floor. "Ja."  
"Did you finish packing your stuff too?"  
"Alles ist in Ordnung." She motions to the boxes with her arms.  
"Good. I brought in some local food. I figured you'd want some, since we won't get any in Japan. Also, could you speak in Japanese from now on?"  
"Warum?"  
"Practice makes perfect. They'll be impressed if you speak Japanese without much of an accent."  
"Fine." She huffs and crosses her arms.  
"Thank you."

He sets the food down on the table. They take out some plates and dig into their schnitzel. Between her bites, she asks, "Do you know anything about the Third Child?"

Kaji gives a grin, one that masks his emotions perfectly but melts her heart anyway. "Nope. Must've been recent though. Never heard about him until the first Angel attack, but you already know that."

She smiles at his compliment. Then, she glances at the grey suitcase again. "What's in there?" She points to it. "It's new."  
He shrugs. "Oh, just some stuff I need to take over to Japan."

* * *

Asuka pulls the blanket over her body. She looks out the window. Light streams in from outside illuminating her room in a soft yellow glow. She smiles.

 _Soon, I'll see that Third Child. He must think he's so great, killing two Angels. I bet he's a he. It'd be better that way. Beating men is more fun than girls. They get bitchy. Boys spend too much time staring at my ass or breasts. Perverts, all of them except Kaji. But I'll take a pervert over a bitch._

 _They'll all see that I'm tough. They'll see that I'm the best. History books will remember me forever, the Great Asuka Langley Sohryu._

* * *

Misato's Voice: "Confused by Shinji's love towards her, Rei tries to discover why he of all people acts differently towards her. Meanwhile, Shinji recovers from his battle with Shamshel and experiences friendship for the first time in years. And what happens when Shinji leans more about Rei's past? It all happens in the next chapter where I'll be dolling out another helping of fan service."

* * *

Author's notes. Yes, it has been two weeks, and I posted my shortest chapter yet. I spent extra time planning out how Asuka will be affected by Rei and Shinji's relationship before I wrote this. Also, IRL was hectic. Blah blah blah. I'll be back on the once a week schedule (hopefully) from now on with chapters that'll also be on the longer side (again, hopefully). (I'll shoot for getting out my next chapter this week as well.)

How did you like Asuka? Unlike Rei and Shinji, this is canon Asuka, unaffected by my change until she meets the First and Third Child. I purposefully did a few different things with her. I've notices many fanfics that introduce Asuka early have her eating ice cream, so I had her yell at a four year old boy and cuss at his mother to be different. I also tried to explain why Asuka wouldn't be able to recognize Shinji or know his sync score despite her highly competitive nature.

Well, do you like my portrayal of Asuka? She's the happier one from the earlier episodes without the signs of being screwed up in the head. To be honest, Kaji was hard which's why you didn't see much of him.

I hope most of the German was understandable from context. Don't expect much more except for Asuka's cursing, though I'll be sticking with just the 26 letters instead of the extra fun ones like ß. Here's some translations of what I wrote. (Note, I am not that good with writing German, so if any of you saw an error, I'd love to know.)  
 _Ich verstehe_ means I understand.  
 _Dank_ means thanks.  
 _Weine nicht_ means do not cry.  
 _Gehst weg_ means go away.  
 _Was machst du Madchen_ means what are you doing, girl.  
 _Er warf Steine auf sie_ means he threw stones at her.  
 _Bitte_ means you're welcome.  
 _Wie heissen sie_ means what's your name.  
 _Asuka. Ich bin ein Pilot, ein Evangelion. Es ist rot._ means Asuka. I am a pilot, an Evangelion. It is red.  
 _Schatzi_ means little treasure.  
Alles _ist in Ordnung_ means all is in order.  
 _Warum_ means why.

Also, as you can see, the next episode will diverge from canon more than the last three. I'm looking forward to writing it.

Replies to comments:  
Valikdu, yes, Shinji has been doing a bunch of ripping and tearing. :)  
Dude, I'm glad to know you're hooked.  
Maxtime, I'm excited too about the character interactions. I'll attempt to have them all make sense and not have anything seem too odd. Fun fact, I wanted to read an Evangelion fanfic where Shinji and Rei were brother and sister since so many other ones had lines like "Rei feels like a sister to me." I couldn't find any, so I decided to make it myself.  
UmiNight Angel Neko, even if the relationship has been largely one-sided since they met again, Rei has been helpful for Shinji (for now at least). Your analysis was what I was hoping to covey to my readers.  
ADeadDieHard, I feel bad about reading your comment on my consistency in update only to immediately miss a week. Sorry. There were a few reasons why Shinji started crying out for his mom, most of which will be touched on next chapter. To quote Charles Simic, "Everything is teetering on the edge of everything".

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't (necessarily) canon:

Asuka is afraid of the dark.


	6. Hedgehog's Dilemma

Chapter 4

 _Rei Ikari's favorite food was steak. She saw it once at a restaurant and ordered the meal. It had the highest price tag. In the mind of a child, more expensive food shall be better food. The only other time she ate steak occurred during her ninth birthday, and she shared it with her brother._

 _I dislike meat. Does that make Rei Ayanami a being different from Rei Ikari?_

* * *

Shinji listens to his SDAT player over the clattering of train tracks. He ignores the other passengers until they leave one by one. He wants to forget; he needs to. It hurts so much.

The lights flicker overhead. The city whizzes by until it's replaced by the green countryside. When the train makes a stop here, Shinji steps out. He lies down on a bench and shivers. He tries, but he can't sleep. He hasn't slept much over the past two days, exhausted beyond measure but unable to end his suffering.

His phone rings, so he takes it out of his pocket and reads the caller ID. He answers the phone.

"Hey, Misato."  
"Shinji, are you still okay? This, um, isn't healthy."  
"Yeah…" He looks around. The four imposing figures keep their distance, almost amused by the kid on the bench. "Section 2's guarding me. I can come back when there's an attack but… I just can't now, okay? I need to sort some things out."  
"I understand, but it you'd need anything, you know I'm ready."

He ends the call. He squints his eyes from the rising sun. _I guess it's morning now._

It looks different out here from Tokyo-3. The crowds and artificial surroundings don't exist. Instead, it's rolling hills covered by a grey mist and tall tress overlooking green grass. It reminds him of his old home, lonely but peaceful. There weren't monsters to kill or little girls to hurt… _Toji, I'm so sorry._

He half walks, half stumbles to a cliff. He climbs over the fence. Section 2 closes in. They don't trust the kid enough, not after what he's been doing over the past few days. His stomach grumbles, unfed for far too long. He shivers from the morning wind, an updraft from the cliff. No matter how warm the days become, mornings always seem to have a cold tinge.

Shinji sits down. Below him, the drop extends down more than a skyscraper. In the distance, he sees Tokyo-3 returning to life from its morning slumber. _There's so many people down there. I saved their lives, but why do they scare me?_

"Rei," he whispers. "Why don't you remember me?"

ZZZ

"Dr. Akagi?" Rei asks. Her voice sounds indifferent, but her words come out a bit rushed. Is it worry or fear, or did she make a coincidental mistake? Not even Rei knows the answer to that question.

The rooms appears too dark, to the point where it may cause strain to normal eyes after prolonged exposure. Cold air blows out of a vent overhead. The walls are gray and bare except for a few post-in notes telling Lieutenant Ibuki today's duties.

"Why are you here?" Dr. Akagi looks up from her computer monitor. Her data appears to concern the Third Child during the second battle. "I didn't schedule anything with you today. It's all tomorrow."  
"I require assistance. You are most qualified."  
"Is it important?" The doctor's tone sounds fake. Rei detects impatience and boredom.  
"Very."

The lead scientist sighs. She points to an open chair to her left. Rei has seen Lieutenant Ibuki perform her duties there several times. She must not be here yet considering the time is 0500. The blue haired girl sits down.

"Spit it out."  
"Pilot Ikari's mental condition deteriorates rapidly."  
Dr. Akagi shakes her head. "Why does this concern me?"  
"It involved my circumstance."

The woman's face becomes dead serious. Her eyes narrow.

"How much does he know?"  
"I said nothing unauthorized."  
"Just explain."

Rei recalls the instance.

Three days prior.

She hears their voices from the other side of the hospital door. Pilot Ikari and his legal guardian speak in hushed voices, but she discerns them without trouble.

"I… I'm fine now. Promise. I'd like to talk with Rei. Then, we can go home, okay?"  
"Okay Shinji. Are you sure you're alright now? You sorta…"  
"Yeah, I'm better."

The door opens. The Third Child wears his school uniform and the smell of LCL lingers on him. His skin appears paler, and he shakes.

"Rei, hi." He smiles, a weak one.  
"Are you alright?"  
"Um…" He looks around the room. "Are we being monitored?"  
"Do you wish to discuss classified information?"  
He nods. "I guess it's classified."

Rei pulls out her laptop and logs onto the MAGI. Using the commander's authorization code, she turns off the cameras and hidden listening devices in the room.

"We are now in private," she says.  
"You c-can do that?"  
"Yes."

He sits down in a chair and gulps. "I broke down, Rei."  
"Could you clarify?" He won the battle. Should he not be fine? Perhaps he refers to the point where he disobeyed orders.  
"I… Um, I ended up crying out for Mom. Misato tried to confront me about following orders better. I feel like a monster. Do you know Toji from class?"  
"Student Suzuhara, yes."  
"I hurt his sister, bad. Really bad. She's in the hospital. What if I killed her?" He stands up. The chair almost falls over.  
"You did not."  
"Then, I fuc- um…" He takes three deep breaths. "I ate the Angel. I was in control the whole time, but I flipped. I ate it."  
"Was it effective? I could attempt that method as well."  
"No!" he screams. His hands move for effect.

For the first time she remembers, Rei shows surprise. Her eyes open wide and her body shifts away from the Third Child by a few centimeters. He can be much darker than what she believed.

"Rei." His voice becomes somber, as if he kicked a puppy. "I'm sorry. I'm so scared. I'm terrified."  
"Why?"  
"Of becoming a monster like the Angels. What if I kill a civilian and don't feel bad? I could be a cold blooded murderer." He sits in the chair again. "I want to protect you, but what if I fail?"

Rei stares at him for ten seconds trying to come up with an answer. She analyzes his statements looking for a response that would provide comfort and truth. Since she does not have skills in social interaction, she cannot find the answer.

"Those are all what-if assertions. None have occurred." She tilts her head from an odd thought. "Do you want them to happen?"  
"No. Never."  
"Then keep it from happening."

For the next three minutes, neither says anything. Pilot Ikari sits in the chair; Rei lies in her bed, propped up on two pillows. Tomorrow, they will release her back to her dwelling.

"Rei?" He looks at her with a serious gaze.  
"Yes."  
"I called out for Mom today." _He said that once already. He must want to start a conversation on the topic._  
"Why?"  
"Misato was there. She told me to go home and… I don't know. She cares for me unlike anyone but family. After seeing you so much, I guess I've was thinking back to the times when you, me, mom… were all together."  
"Dr Ikari d-"  
"Just call her _Mom_. Okay?"  
 _This seems neither fair nor proper._ "When Mom died, she was two years younger than Captain Katsuragi. Perhaps their similarities caused you to break down. You were emotionally distraught and drained from the battle as well."  
"I don't remember Mom. Do you?"

 _Pilot Ikari has shown me nothing but love and kindness since we met. Why? He does not know that I do not know. He deserves to know that much, and I… want to know._

"No." Rei turns away from the Third Child. She does not want him to see her eyes as she confesses. "Shinji, may I tell you something that you would find distressing?"  
"Rei, of course. Are you okay?"  
She feels his hand on her shoulder. It radiates warmth. "I do not remember you."

He takes his hand off her shoulder.

Rei blinks, shaking the memory and the pain from her mind. She takes a deep breath and looks at Dr. Akagi.

"I told him that I have no recollection of him. I was not told it was classified." Rei expects a verbal assault. For certain, her commander will reprimand her.  
"Is that all? Nothing else more important?" The doctor eyes up the girl looking for any nonverbal clues. She finds none.  
"No."  
"What did he do then?"  
"He ran away."

The head scientist nods. Then, as if she thought of a programming solution, she smiles.

"Why did you come to me? Why not Gendo?"  
"Three adults have access to my information. You seem the best option for human interaction and piloting Evas."

The blonde chuckles, a very rare occurrence. She shakes her head and sighs.

"Damn. I worked in a screwed up place if I'm the best you can talk you."  
"What do you suggest?"  
"Give me a second… Shit, I'm starting to feel like Gendo. Stupid schemes."

* * *

Schools brings two things to Shinji, boredom and pain. Boredom comes from the lessons where a teacher lectures about the Second Impact and sometimes real school. Pain comes from others. Toji punched Shinji. He knows he deserved it, but the pain still hurt. Now, he'll have to see Rei as well.

That's why he's skipping school, again.

He knocks on the door. "Coming!" He hears her footsteps scramble to the door. Misato opens the door looking half asleep but glad, a genuine happiness.

"I'm home," he says.  
His guardian smiles. "Yes, you are."  
"I'm sorry if I smell or track in dirt."  
She motions for him to enter. "Do you think I'd ever care? You're back. That's what matters."

He steps inside and into the kitchen. Pen Pen waddles up to Shinji. He pets the penguin on the head.

"Wark."  
"Yeah, it's nice to see you too."

The penguin waddles away. Shinji opens the fridge and takes out some eggs. He opens a cabinet and grabs a pan. "Do you mind if I make something to eat? I'm hungry." She motions for him to continue, so he fries the eggs.

He sits down at the dining table. Misato sits across from him. She doesn't have a beer in her hand even though it's morning. Instead, she watches him with a small smile on her lips. No jokes or teasing, just quiet kindness.

"Can you tell me why you had to be alone, if it's okay with you?" she asks.  
"Um, I will." He puts down his chopsticks. "One day. Not now. I don't think I could. I'm also sorry for crying for my mom. It must've embarrassed you."  
She shakes her head. "No, it was fine. I saw many men, brave and strong men, cry for their mothers."  
"When was that?"  
For the first time since he arrived home, Misato takes her stare off him. She looks far away but at nothing in particular. "During my tours of duty. We were the toughest motherfu-, um, bastards that you'd ever know, but we all broke down at some point." She looks back at him. "Shinji you're fourteen, untrained, and doing something that no one else could manage. The best I can give you is advice during battles and this pep talk."  
"I didn't know that about you."  
"I'm a Captain. I didn't get this way doing paperwork."

Shinji looks at Misato in a different way. She's always so happy. How could she be a soldier, one who fought in battles and maybe killed people? She did all of that, yet she smiles all the time.

"Hey, that Aida kid keeps on coming buy. He's worried about you. So is another one, um, Suzuhara."  
"Kensuke and Toji?"  
"Yeah, but Suzuhara got into some deep shit with the class rep. Aida said he's now in permanent slavery or something like that."  
"Oh." He winces a little, remembering those punches.  
"Do you wanna go back to school today?"  
"Um."

* * *

"Excuse me, Ayanami?"

Rei turns her head from the glass window. She sees Student Aida standing next to her. Due to Dr. Akagi's mission for her, she arrived at the school early, but he has no reason to be here.

"Yes?" He winces. The other students never feel comfortable with the way she speaks, impassioned and almost alien.  
"Can I ask you something?" He presses his camera to his eye, a common position for this person.  
"Yes."  
"Are you Shinji's sister?"  
Rei blinks. "Why?"  
"When Toji socked Shinji in the mouth, he said that he piloted to protect his sister. I put two and two together."  
"Do not spread classified information. Stop recording and delete this conversation."  
"Is that a yes?" He turns off the camera.

She looks back at the window. Less knowledge means he would be in less danger, so she ends the discussion

"Can you tell me what happened to Shinji? I'm worried about him." Maybe she didn't end it.  
"I do not know. I am… concerned."  
"He is your brother."  
"Why?"  
"No offence, but you wouldn't be concerned for anyone else. I'm amazed that you're even speaking to me. No one will believe it!"  
"None taken."

She hears him walk away. She focuses on the window again. It takes twenty minutes for her target to arrive. She did not predict that he would show up today, but the Third Child did.

* * *

"Come on. What are you waiting for? Just do it or I'm not goin' to feel right," Toji says.

"You know," Kensuke adds on. "He's not going to let up. Go on. You're doing him a favor."

 _Screw this._ Shinji punches Toji at the side of his mouth, not too hard but hard enough to count. They're under some overhang, so no one will see them. Most of the other students are already in their seats waiting for class to begin.

"See?" Toji tries to stand up straight and not show his pain. "Now we're even." He holds out his hand. "The class rep and my little sis wanted me to apologize. How about something more? Friends?"

Shinji glances at Kensuke. The boy shakes his head yes. Shinji shakes Toji hand. "Friends."

"Come on Shin-man." Toji pats him on the back. "Let's get to class before Class Rep kills me."  
"What?"  
"Oh, I told her how I clobbered you. Ken got in less shit than me even though he was the one in your tube thingy."  
"Sorry."  
"Don't be."

As they enter the classroom, Shinji sees Rei. She stares out the window, as always. He gulps. _She doesn't remember me._

He takes his seat. The professor enters the classroom. "All rise!" Hikari says.

Shinji goes through the motions, but his mind wanders elsewhere, to his sister.

 _Why doesn't she remember me? She wasn't too young. Nine's old enough. Maybe she doesn't care about me and forgot? She does care now, sorta. I know she did back then. Amnesia. That must be it. She forgot a bunch of stuff. That's why she's so weird. Crap, she remembered our mom's age. Maybe she doesn't have amnesia._

 _What the hell am I supposed to do? I don't wanna talk to her. All of those good memories, they're gone. She lost them, so what's the point of them ever happening? Now, they're just my fantasies. Am I the only one who remembers the girl that loved me? It's not fair, not to me or Rei. I'm a complete stranger to her. My own family died, abandoned me, or forgot me._

He hears other students snickering around him. They're laughing at him. Why? Tears block his vision, so he wipes them away. _I'm crying. They think that's funny. I may be a monster, but I saved their lives and they don't know it._

Toji growls from the back of the classroom, a warning to the snickering students. Hikari turns around in her seat and opens her mouth to say something. Instead, she nods at Toji and shifts back to listening to the professor.

Shinji smiles. _I have friends, two of them._

* * *

It's lunch time, but Shinji went up here, to the top of the school's roof. He likes sitting here.

His feet dangle over the edge, but he doesn't feel afraid. Being in the Eva helped him get over heights. He picks away at his bento box, alone. Toji and Kensuke were assigned some duty by Hikari. More punishment for their actions. He'll have to talk with her soon, maybe lighten their penalty. She's a reasonable person.

He overlooks the school full of happy, talking children. A few trees shake their leaves from the summer wind. The city appears calm from up here. The higher he climbs, the better he likes Tokyo-3. It's a bustling mess when in the thick of it all, but when he's far away, it looks better.

Goosebumps travel up his spine. Someone's behind him. Shinji stands up and faces the person.

Rei.

There she stands, her right arm and eye encased in bandages. Her schoolgirl uniform sways back and forth from the wind. A strand of her blue hair blows over her left eye, but she doesn't move it. Her pale skin contrasts with the clear, blue sky behind her. She holds a bento box in her left hand.

They stare at each other. Neither one moves away or to one another. They keep blank looks on their faces.

 _What should I do? That dream. This's the hedgehog's dilemma. If I stay far away, I'll freeze to death, alone. If I get closer, then I'll get hurt and hurt Rei. I don't want either, but I have to choose one._

For a moment, he no longer sees this teenage Rei standing there. Instead, she's replaced by the Rei he remembers. The girl's much shorter. Her face carries an ever present smile. He can hear her softly humming an old song. She must be a few months past five.

"Hey bro!" she calls out. Rei skips over to him. Shinji's not old either. He sits in a sandbox, building a sandcastle. He's not that good at those, so it's more like a sand pyramid. _Funny. It's like the one in the GeoFront._ "Whatcha doin'?"  
"I'm makin' a… peera… peran… uh, a big triangle."  
"Can I help?"  
"Sure."

She squats down in the sand. Her face takes an intense look that Shinji knows well. Her tongue sticks out of her mouth and squishes her eyebrows together. Together, they put more sand on the pyramid. The four sides become more precise and smooth.

Rei dirties her blue dress, but she never cares. She wipes the sweat off her forehead. A strand of brown hair falls over her left eye. She blows it back. They finish it.

"You wanna do it?" she asks.  
"Yeah!"

The twins stomp the pyramid back into the sand. Then, they lie down in the sandbox and stare at the sky. Puffy white clouds float by.

"I like the color of sky," Shinji says.  
"Why?"  
"It got colored like your eyes. It's pretty."  
"My eyes got colored like your eyes, not the sky, silly." She giggles.

Shinji rolls over in the sand. He intertwines his fingers in hers. She tightly grips his.

"Rei, you're my bestest friend."

Shinji blinks. He sees Rei again, the one who cannot remember his treasured memories. It's not fair. Not to him; not for her.

Even now, he doesn't know what to do.

Without saying anything, Rei walks to him. He watches her take every footstep, calculated and fluid. She stops at the edge of the roof. She sits down and takes out her lunch. Shinji sits down. He didn't pack a lunch, so he resigns to watching her eat.

Rei sets her bento box between them. It's vegetarian, rice and an assortment of vegetables. The food will taste bland, but it will be healthy. He sees two pairs of chopsticks. His sister takes one. She hands him the other.

Without saying a word, Shinji and Rei eat lunch together. It's the first time in five years.

* * *

Misato's voice: "Rei Ayanami seems cold and distant, yet Shinji finds she has a close relationship with Commander Ikari. Shinji doesn't understand why he's left out, but before he can find out more, a beam by the Fifth Angel strikes Eva Unit 01 in the chest. Will the next chapter be Shinji's last? More importantly, there's fan service."

* * *

Author's notes: I'm very pleased with how this chapter turned out. Shinji won't quit NERV because of Rei, but he instead learned something that shook him to his core. He knows that Rei doesn't remember him. How sad… Rei tried to understand why Shinji loves her by telling him the trust, but it caused him to run away. That's also sad. It's hard not to feel rotten. They deserve happiness together, but I'm still keeping it from them.

In case you didn't catch it, I paralleled Rei with what Misato did in the episode. Shinji runs away because of a conversation with Rei/Misato. Rei/Misato talk to Ritsuko. Shinji and Rei/Misato stare at each other for a long time before coming to an understanding.

Yes, I also used Rebuild for when Shinji punched Toji back. I couldn't use the one from the series.

Well, Shinji knows about Rei. They didn't cry and hug. Rei didn't have some big revelation. Keeping in line with the series (and my hurt/comfort genre choice), Shinji ran away from Rei. Baka Shinji, how could you? Don't worry though. They have several more months to sort things out (unless they die…)

I also realized two things when writing this chapter. Ritsuko's interactions with Rei will be somewhat different than canon due to my changes to Rei. I had fun writing them together. I also needed Shinji to start building his (important) relationship with Misato. I hope you liked what I did with them.

Anyway, I hope this wasn't too confusing because of my two flashbacks and flip-flopping between POVs.

Replies to comments:

ADeadDiehard, I am very excited with where I'll be taking Asuka.  
Maxtime, I'm happy to see you thought my presentation of Asuka was swell.  
Guest, here's a whole bunch of Shinji and Rei!  
JacobGuardian, if you thought Shinji was OOC in the first chapter, I'd love to see your opinions on these later ones. :)

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

Shinji does not truly run away nor does he resign from NERV.  
Rei has access to Gendo's authorization codes for the MAGI. (I'm making this Rei rather techy. Huh.)  
Shinji learned Rei doesn't remember him.  
Misato served as an elite soldier. (This one could be in her past. I figured it's quite possible considering her rampage during EoE.)  
Kensuke (and Toji though I didn't mention that one) know that Rei is Shinji's sister.


	7. Rei, Beyond the Heart

Chapter 5

 _I hate my father. I want to so much, but I can't hate him all the way. There's a part of me that still wants to be his son. Another part of me never wants to see him again. Oh, I also want to strangle him. I guess I can't really decide what I want to do with him._

 _He loved me once. Even after Mom died, I think he did. Then, he kicked me out, abandoned me. He kept Rei, and now she's so… different. She doesn't remember me either. Did he do that? If he did, I will kill him. Well, I'd try. Then, I'd get arrested. I can't do that. If I succeed or fail, I'd hurt Rei either way. Does she feel this conflicted? Does she hate my father, or does she love him? Maybe it's both._

* * *

"The demolition of block B-3 has been completed. All technical department personnel must submit their data to the analysis group," says the lady over the speaker system.

The men and women of NERV scurry around. The stench from the Angel, like human blood, permeates the stagnant air. The smell of human sweat bites at Shinji's nose and adds to the nausea in his stomach. He feels out of place. The tent looks larger than anything he's ever seen. Somehow, NERV had it on hand to cover the Angel's carcass. Instead of clowns entertaining crowds of children, scientists, engineers and Section 2 guards move with a sense of urgency. Meanwhile, Shinji wears his school uniform and a hard hat.

"So this is what the enemy looks like up close," he mumbles. From what little he has seen, the Angel reminds him of a squished beetle. It's a mix of red goo and harder, alien stuff. The cleanup crew must be cursing the mess he made. At least Dr. Ritsuko looks happy. He and Misato stare up at the lead scientist, the woman who knows about Rei.

"Magnificent," she says to herself. Her attention focuses on her clipboard instead of the rickety, metallic walkway that she's walking on. "Everything except the core has been left largely intact. This is almost a perfect sample." She looks down at Shinji with a smile, a real one. She must love her job. "Thanks! This will be a great help!" The compliment makes him feel sorta happy.  
"Okay, so have you found anything new yet?" Misato asks. She doesn't wear her hard hat. No one dared complain about her breach of protocol.  
"Come on, I'll show you."

Dr. Ritsuko climbs down, and the trio wind their way through the tented labyrinth. They stop at a room with coffee and computers. The scientist enters in the data for the computers while Misato and Shinji pour themselves some coffee. He doesn't like drinking coffee, but he's still tired from wandering around the city over the past few days. Connected to the MAGI no doubt, the computer analyzes the data for a moment, then it displays a 601. That's it, not good.

"What's that mean?" Misato asks.  
"That's our system code number for 'cannot be analyzed'."  
"So you mean you have no idea what this is?" _We have no clue about what I'm fighting? Hell, what are they even named beyond Angels? Were the first and the second different species, like wolves and foxes?_  
"Yeah, but we do know that they're made up of matter composed by both particulate and waveform properties." _What does that even mean?_

Dr. Ritsuko sips her own coffee, so the guardian and ward do the same.

Still sipping, Misato asks, "You at least know its power source, right?"  
"Something like that, but we haven't been able to figure out how it operates at all."  
Shinji clears his throat and asks, "It's the core, isn't it?"  
The blonde smiles. "Good observation. Yes, we do know the spherical core is their power source, but not how or why. Here's something else we haven't figured out." She shows them data that makes Shinji's head spin. Seeing his confusion, she says, "Despite being a different form of matter, their arrangement or coordinates of the patters is 99.89 percent match to ours."

Their conversation continues, but Shinji sees two figures walk out of the corner of his eye. He hasn't seen either since joining NERV, Mr. Fuyutsuki and his father. They walk by, not noticing the Eva pilot or at least not acknowledging him. Shinji moves to the edge of the doorway and peers out. What are they doing here?

A crane lowers a platform in front of the commander. Strapped on, sits a basketball-sized piece of the core. _I thought I destroyed all of that._ As they talk about the small amount recovered and ask if there's any more, Shinji notices that his father's hands are burnt. Why?

"What's wrong?" Misato asks. Both the women stare at him.  
"Oh! Um, nothing."  
"Shinji, you know, when you say 'nothing' in that tone of voice, you might as well be shouting out for attention? Nothing draws attention like evasive actions."  
After a pause, he says, "Well, it's just that my father seems to have burnt his hands. I was wondering why it happened."

With a straight face, Dr. Ritsuko says to the pilot, "It was before you joined us. Come here. I'll show you."

They walk in front of the computer monitor. She types for a few seconds, then security footage pops up. It's titled "Unit 00 Activation Test." _Rei was injured from this, but I never got to know the details._

Shinji recognizes many of the faces. Dr. Ritsuko, his father, the Sub-Commander, and a few technicians. The latter say technical terms that Shinji doesn't understand, but he knows that Rei's about to link with the Eva. It's an ugly beast, orange and devoid of should pylons or anything interesting.

"All nerve links checking out normal," one of the technicians says.  
"Check list satisfactory up to 2550," says another. "Prepare for third stage connection. 2850, counting down to absolute borderline."

Shinji clenches his fist. He feels so helpless. Rei will be hurt, and there's nothing he can do to stop it. Hell, he wasn't even in the same city. He should've been there for her.

Another technician counts down, "0.9… 0.7… 0.5… 0.4… 0.3…" The computer makes a piercing warning sound. "The pulses are flowing backwards!" The Eva tries to break free of its restraints, groaning the entire time. "Something's wrong with the third stage!" _Yeah, no shit._ "Rejection occurring in the nerve center elements!" He can hear the fear in the voice.

Dr. Ritsuko doesn't take her eyes off of the Eva. "Cease contact! Break all circuits through number six!"  
The nice, younger technician types for a moment, then stops. "Negative. The signal's not being received!"  
"Berserk."

Unit 00 rips the restraints out from the walls. They cut off its power supply, but the Eva still has some battery power. It growls like an animal in pain and clutches its head. _Is that Rei or the Eva?_ He sees so much pain.

"We've got thirty-five seconds until it comes to a complete stop," says another technician.

The Eva looks up for a moment. It's single red eye sees everyone present behind the glass, and it throws a punch right where the commander, sub-commander, and doctor stand. The fist nearly shatters through, but it withstood the impact. It won't survive another. _Is it… is she trying to kill my father?_

Then it hurls another and another, but the monster's in too much pain to aim. Each punch hits a different spot leaving deep indents in the steel walls.

The back panel for Unit 00 pops off with a hiss.

The nice, young technician says, "Auto ejection system has been activated." _No! Rei!_  
"Damn it!" His father shows anger. Shinji didn't believe the man could possess emotions at this point.

Powered by four tiny rockets, her entry plug ejects. It slams into the ceiling and scrapes along to a wall. Ritsuko orders Bakelite released. The rockets end, so the entry plug falls several stories to the floor. Both it and Shinji's heart crash to the ground.

Before the Eva even powers down, their father scrambles in the testing cage over to Rei's entry plug. He grasps onto the emergency release hatch on the plug, but it burns his hands. He grunts and lets go for a moment. His glasses fall onto the floor. With a look of desperate resolve, he takes hold of the latches again and twists. Steam comes off from the contact along with a disgusting hissing.

He opens the hatch. "Rei! Are you alright!" He shoves his upper body through the hole.

The view switches to inside the plug. Rei breathes only in sharp bursts. She must be bleeding internally from the impact, and she can't even look up.

In a somber voice, their father whispers, "Rei, I'm so sorry."

Ritsuko turns off the footage. Shinji stares at the screen, unmoving.

 _Does Father care? He… he was determined to save her, no matter the cost. That has to mean something, right? He wouldn't do that if he didn't care at all. Maybe he doesn't about me, but he has to feel something for Rei still. He kept her around after all, not me._

"Shinji?" Misato sounds worried. "Are you okay?"  
"I just wanna go home."

* * *

Other boys play basketball in the intense summer heat. Others, like Shinji and his two friends, lean against a wall. Most of the boys do so to ogle at the girls. They're at a higher level, the one at the pool, thus they wear one piece swim suits. Shinji doesn't want to ogle. It's impolite, but he does watch Rei. The rest of the girls are laughing and having fun. Rei sits down in the fetal position. She's looks so lonely.

Over the cicadas, he hears one the girls say, "Oh my gods, they're looking at us." Other girls squeal out sounds that fluctuate between excitement and disgust.

"They've all got such nice breasts," Toji says in a dreamy manner. Shinji doesn't reply, since he watches Rei. She moves to a more comfortable sitting position. "Hey Shin-man, who are you staring at?"  
Shinji blushes. "Um well, Rei."

Kensuke and Toji exchange devious glances.  
"Ha! You're ogling Rei," Kensuke teases.  
"I… I'm not!" _They know she's my sister. Do they think I'm a pervert of something?_

"We saw you looking." Kensuke steps to the other side of Shinji, blocking a path of escape.  
"Yeah, at Rei's mammaries, Rei's silky thighs, her calves, her…"  
"Naughty bits!" they say together.

Shinji looks away, trying not to barf or punch either of them. In a whisper, Kensuke says, "We're keeping up the illusion." _Yeah, that's clearly your only goal here._  
"She's just… so lonely, you know?"  
"Yeah, I don't think she's ever been talkative, right Toji?"  
"Yup, I always thought she was a loner, maybe thought herself too good for us." Shinji clenches his fists, angry at what his friend thinks. "Not anymore though, but she never had any friends since she started coming in the seventh grade." Sadness replaces anger.  
"Guys, I think maybe… maybe we could invite her to tag along with us… if you both behave."  
What!" they say together.  
"I mean, she is my… cousin after all."  
"Well," the jock mumbles. "I promise to try. She's much better looking than you though."

Shinji shakes his head. It must be the acts of some higher powers that made these two his friends. They're just so… not like him. Still, he'll talk to her next time they get a chance. It'll have to be private. With Misato and now his friends teasing him about Rei, he couldn't stand any more accusations.

* * *

Shinji sits at the dinner table with Misato and Dr. Ritsuko. They speak, but he doesn't pay attention unless they ask him to get something. Oh, Misato asked him for a beer. Ignoring the horrible taste of her so-called cooking in his mouth, he wanders to the kitchen to get her another. They haven't noticed, but his mind lies elsewhere. The memory replays in his mind again.

Shinji sees the world again with his own eyes. They ended the sync test, and Misato said everything went well. Still in his plug, he sees Rei in her plugsuit checking something with her entry plug. _Are they going to attempt another reactivation? I thought that was tomorrow._

Then, he sees their father walking up to Rei. His sister turns around and hops down in front of him. Both seem less melancholy than normal, but he can't hear what they're saying. She moves her hand under her chin. _When has she ever moved around like that when talking?_ Then, he sees Rei smile. The last time he saw her smile was five years ago. Half a decade! But she smiles for him, their father?

His father smiles back.

He shakes his head as he hands Misato her beer.

"Shinji!" Dr. Ritsuko fumbles in her purse. "I almost forgot. Can you take this to Rei?" She hands him a card.  
"What is it?"  
"This's Rei's new security card. I keep forgetting to give this to her. Would you mind delivering this to her before you head into headquarters? She lives sorta far out from my route there."

He takes the card and stares at it. A picture of his sister stares back at him, cold and indifferent eyes.

"What's the matter?" Misato gives him a sly grin, one she uses for teasing. "You're staring at Rei's picture, aren't you?" _Not again. I'll never be able to tell you. You'd be too embarrassed._  
"No! I'm not!"  
"Oh yes, you are."  
"Ah! No, I'm not!"

She giggles and mutters something about how she embarrassed him. "Now you've got an excuse to go over to Rei's place, don't you?" _Hey, she's right. That's good._  
Dr. Ritsuko puts her beer can on the table, along with Misato's two. "Even though there's no cameras over there, I trust our pilot will be a gentleman."

Shinji looks at the woman. They've never really talked, but she just gave a go-ahead for talking to Rei without worrying about monitoring. That's… that's nice. He'll have to do something to make it up.

"Rei's a nice girl." The blonde stands to leave. "But she's like your father, not the best at… you know, living. I think you might be able to help though."

Misato giggles more and makes more jokes about him and Rei. For once, Shinji doesn't care. He'll be able to talk about Rei. About her joining his friends. About childhood memories she forgot. About… Father.

* * *

Each step makes that sinking feeling in his stomach get worse. The cranking of metal on metal and roaring of large engines fills his ears. _How can Rei sleep with all of this demo and construction around here?_ He tries not to step on any needles or broken bottles. The entire way, he sees no one except his Section 2 guards, trailing behind him far in the distance.

Her apartment looks like it was abandoned for five years then went through a direct Angel attack. The concrete walls show cracks, and nothing has been painted. The stench of decay and cigarettes fills his lungs.

He stops walking. Number 402. Ayanami. This is her home. _Why did you put her here, Father?_

The doorbell doesn't ring. He tries the door handle. It's unlocked, so he opens the door. A piece of mail falls out the door from dozens of others shoved into the mail slot.

"Hello there? Rei?" he calls out. No response. He steps inside and closes the door. Muddy shoe prints cover the floor and lead into the main room. Shinji takes off his shoes to not track in the grime from outside.

"I'm sorry for intruding, but it's me, your brother. I'm coming in, okay?" She might still be here. He walks past a kitchen. Dishes pile high in the sink, and all the walls are unpainted drywall. Most of everything has a fine layer of dust.

In the living room, he sees four pieces of furniture. A bed, dresser, chair, and fridge. That's it. No TV, sofa, or pictures adorn the room. Her school uniform lies on the bed as if it was tossed there. Her pillow has massive bloodstains. Bloody bandages lie in a box while pills sit on top of the fridge. Shinji covers his mouth. The tears streaming down his face obscures his view. He cannot nor does he want to see anything else.

After a moment, he wipes his eyes and notices a glint. He walks to the dresser and picks up a pair of glasses. _Aren't these the ones my father wore when he rescued Rei?_ He puts them on. He doesn't know if its curiosity or a desire to see the world from that asshole's eyes just to understand his motives.

He looks around the room. It all looks so… _Oh shit!_

With nothing but a towel draped around her neck, Rei stands in front of the bathroom door naked. Water drips down her hair and down her… Oh my. "Um, Rei, I," he stammers. He blushes. His heart pounds in his ears. She walks up to him. Shinji feels more fear than when he fought the Angels.

She leans in and pulls the glasses off his face. Shinji leans back trying to avoid his chest touching her breasts. He slips on a discarded bandage and falls forward. His schoolbag snags onto her dresser and flings out her undergarments.

They lie on the ground with Shinji on top. Everything else fades around him except her eyes. He stares into the red, deep orbs and she stares back. Neither breathes. He… enjoys the closeness. It feels… warm. His heartbeat races. So does hers. _I feel her heartbeat?_

He looks down. "Ah!" He rolls off her. His hand was cupping her breasts. Self revulsion overwhelms the boy.

Rei doesn't move. She still lays on her back, naked. "Why did you get off?"  
Shinji covers his eyes with his hand. "You're naked! Rei! I'm so sorry!"  
"For what?"  
"For… violating you!"

He hears her stand. "I was not harmed, Shinji. Why do you not look?"  
"You're naked!" He swallows some bile.  
"I am no longer naked."

He peeks through his hands for a moment before screaming. "Rei! Put on all of your clothes, not just your panties!"  
"Am I angering you?"  
"No, no. I cannot see you like this!"  
"Why?"  
"It is not… um, proper."  
"I see. You may look now. I wear my uniform."

Shinji opens his eyes, and this time he doesn't close them. _How screwed up is she when she isn't bothered by… by what just happened?_

She puts their father's glasses in a container. She sets in on top of the dresser. Then, she turns to him. "Why are you here?"  
"Dr. Ritsuko gave me your new ID. I th-thought w-we could talk, b-but you don't have t-to."  
"Where is the card?"

He hands the small, plastic ID to her. She puts it in her pocket.

"What shall we speak of?" she asks.  
"Really! Great! Um, maybe… father? I saw what h-he did when he saved you, and you smiled at him yesterday."  
"I did?" She sounds contemplative. "I did not notice."

She sits on her bed and stares forward. After a moment, Shinji sits besides her trying not to touch her bloody pillow. He still hears the constant, almost rhythmic banging from the construction.

"They said your room isn't monitored, so I can talk with you as my sister."  
"NERV elevators and the park are the same way."  
"Really?"  
"Yes."

Shinji glances at the bloody pillow again. His stomach churns, but the rest of the apartment isn't much better.

"Why are you alone?"  
"I was told to live here."  
Shinji sighs. She needs help. "Could I help clean?"  
"Why?" She turns to him and tilts her head.  
"Because you deserve better than this."  
"Will it improve your mental state?"  
"Um… yeah."  
"Then you may come."  
"When?"  
"Any time."

She stands up, so Shinji does as well.

"I need to leave now to arrive in time for my reactivation test with Unit 00."  
"I'll come with you."

The twins walk through the city, to a train, and down into the GeoFront. The entire time, they don't say anything. Shinji doesn't want to either. He's happy. They're just walking, as if everything is normal between them. Right now, he'll accept artificial normalcy.

She opens a steel door with her new NERV card, and they step through. While going down a large escalator which descends for dozens of stories, Shinji can't help but acknowledge the danger that she'll be in. In moments, they'll arrive, and she'll get back in that orange monster. He can't stop it either.

"Rei?" He stands behind her, so he can't see her face, not that it would ever change in a conversation.  
"Yes."  
"Aren't you worried about your reactivation test, of piloting Unit 00?"  
"Why"  
"Well, I saw you were hurt really bad in the last one so… I thought you might be…"  
"Aren't you Commander Ikari's son?" _Did she forget? That's not right. She's asking a rhetorical question. That's good at least. What does she mean by that anyway?_  
"Yes."  
"Don't you have faith in your own father's work?"  
Shinji feels anger swell up inside him, but he feels other things as well. Their father burnt his hands, so much pain, to help Rei. "I… I don't know."

She turns around at him and squints. Is that how she shows anger? There's no other reason to squint right now.

"I do, pilot Ikari."

* * *

Rei puts on her plugsuit. She accepted the fact that her mind will never be clear again. Voices. Faces. They pop in and out as they please. Most are of pilot Ikari. Some are of Commander Ikari. If she had the choice to end these inner sights and sounds, she would not know which to choose.

The voices of Commander Ikari, they pass through. "Rei." "Rei, are you alright!" "I'm so sorry."

Then, a sensation passes through. She… felt. She felt close when pilot Ikari fell on her. She knows speaking of distance in relationships involves intimacy levels, but being close made her feel close. She would not stop another session of closeness. Is this the sensation of siblinghood?

She walks to Unit 00 and enters the entry plug. She becomes bathed in LCL fluid. Her mind does not cease its moving sounds and sights.

"Rei," says Commander Ikari. "Can you hear me?" His voice sounds colder than the Third Child's.  
"Yes."  
"We will now begin the Unit 00 activation experiment. Engage primary connections."

The technicians initiate synchronization. _Where is pilot Ikari?_

She syncs with Unit 00. Oneness engulfs the girl, but this time she maintains control. The Beast within the Eva does not bear her teeth again.

"Borderline clear. Unit 00 has activated," says Lieutenant Ibuki over the intercom.  
"Roger." Rei looks ahead. In a window, she sees the Third Child pressing his face against the glass. "Beginning interlock test."  
"Rei." The commander's voice comes back. It still sounds cold. "Reactivation has been successfully completed. Return now."

She disconnects from the Eva. She sighs. This test took ten minutes less than scheduled, and she also feels it flowing against her in the distance. She reaches the most logical conclusion. They detected Ramiel.

* * *

Rei enters the control room where Captain Misato directs the battles. The woman yells, "Launch Eva!" Pilot Ikari will enter danger again. Even if successful and physically unharmed, he will suffer from mental anguish. He would feel less pain if Rei was to pilot.

"We're detecting a high energy reading from inside the target," Lieutenant Aoba says.  
"What'd you say?"  
"The energy is charging and massing on itself!"  
"It can't be!" Doctor Akagi seems surprised as well.

Rei does not care about the logic of the situation. Angels seem to defy that law anyway. Instead, she focuses on a very real danger. Pilot Ikari faces an imminent possibility of death.

Not knowing what the Angel will do, Rei walks up to the side of Lieutenant Ibuki. Her reaction time may be faster than the technician's.

"Watch out, Shinji!" Misato shows worry and concern.

Unit 01 exits from the floor of Tokyo-3 mere blocks away from the Angel. Rei doesn't pay attention to the hovering crystalline octahedron. She sees its blast, like a laser, burn through a building and strike Unit 01 in the chest.

As Shinji screams, Rei hits a specific button. The flooring under the Eva falls out, and it falls down through the GeoFront.

He has been saved… _Then… then why am I clenching my fists?_

* * *

Misato's voice: "Shinji survives, but he's injured and begins to deteriorate badly to the point where Rei volunteers to take over in the next battle. As Misato desperately tries to pinpoint the Angel's weak spot, the ultimate and heavy artillery is prepared to face the new menace. Will they succeed?"

* * *

Author's notes: Ah, the next chapter is one I've been looking forward to. Who would've guessed that a giant floating octahedron would be so dangerous?

This chapter was fun. While many things were the same as canon, I had many differences both big and small. I also had a few minor attempts at humor too. The anime did have some funny moments amidst all the horrors after all.

I tried to not have too many scene changes, which's why I had a flashback and viewing security camera footage. I think Shinji would've seen the berserk footage eventually, though I am bummed about not having more scenes with the three technicians. They're fun characters to use, adult but not completely screwed up like everyone else.

Then, I had THAT scene with Shinji and Rei. I almost had a totally different one without so many… risqué moments. But, this is Eva. Instead, it stayed pretty close to the original for a while. Yeah… Well, I would like to know your thoughts on the scene and its aftermath.

I also laid the foundations of several plot points and such during this chapter. Plus, I threw out a hint or two at a few things.

Also, it is fun to write interactions between Shinji and Rei. There's so much they could say to each other, but they don't.

My reply to my comment: (I only had one this time. I'm not sure if that's good, bad, or somewhere in between.)

Guest, yep, I really liked the ending to the last chapter too. I thought of it on the spot and thought it fit perfectly. I'm glad to see it wasn't just me who thought it was a good way to end such a tumultuous chapter. Thanks for commenting too. :)

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

Almost none of Shamshel's core was recovered.  
Toji and Kensuke still tease Shinji about Rei even though they both know that she's his sister.  
Shinji said he wants to invite Rei to spend time with Toji, Kensuke, and himself.  
Ritsuko continues her own "plans" that started last chapter.  
Rei tells Shinji that NERV elevators and the park are unmonitored.  
Shinji tells Rei he'll help clean her apartment.  
Shinji was saved sooner from Ramiel's blast because of Rei.  
A few other things that I won't mention because I don't want to make those too obvious (yet).


	8. Rei II

Chapter 6

 _I remember one time I got really sick. In hindsight, it must've been something small like a flu, but that's the end of the world to kid who just passed seven. I coughed, had to take horrible medicine, and endured a pounding headache for five days. I couldn't get out of bed, so I would've been bored beyond what my little mind could take._

 _But Rei was there. She hardly ever left my bedside. The entire time she was there, a friendly voice and a warm hand. I remember asking her why she stayed. She could've played or done something other than wait in my cramped bedroom. She replied with a smile, "I wanted to." That's the Rei I knew. I think that part of her, the self-sacrificing and caring part, is still there._

* * *

"Ms. Ayanami," says the nurse, "You can head in, but he's still out." The woman's face shows puzzlement. Like most of the hospital staff, the nurse knows about the peculiar blue-haired girl who so often went into their care. They know she's aloof, quiet, and obedient. Thus, the nurse does not understand why the child has broken out of that pattern. Instead of being in the hospital for her injuries, the girl has shadowed the injured pilot and even asked the staff about his condition, three times already.

"Thank you." Rei walks into the room, much too large for one occupant. The only furniture consists of a bed. Its white sheets and grey metal do nothing to make the room more… enjoyable to pilot Ikari. His mental condition should be poor due to his recent experience.

The Third Child sleeps in the bed. The sheets rise up and down as he breathes, but he looks peaceful in this state. He shows no sign of burning on his body, but a bruise lies over his left eyebrow from the fall.

Rei sets his clothes at the foot of the bed. Captain Katsuragi thought it was a good idea as well, so Rei retrieved them from the male locker room. She straightens out his shirt to eliminate the wrinkles. She noticed that he folded his clothes carefully despite the upcoming threat of the Angel, so his response when awakening may be more positive if he saw his clothing was still orderly.

Pilot Ikari's stomach grumbles. When he wakes, he shall desire sustenance. Rei exits his room and walks to the hospital's cafeteria. Other than the staff, the room has few people. While civilian injuries and deaths remain high, those employed by NERV have not suffered the same fate since the GeoFront has not been breached. Today may be different, but not yet. Still, NERV's hospital remains uncrowded unlike all other hospitals in Tokyo-3.

Rei takes food that provides nutrition to the Third Child. She places the food onto a cart and wheels it to his room. When she opens the door, he awakens with a grunt. He blinks several times. "Rei."  
"Pilot Ikari."  
"Is the Angel…"  
"I have been sent here to brief you on the operation's time tables. The operation will begin at midnight, zero hundred hours, prior to that pilots Ikari and Ayanami will arrive at the cages by 1730. At 1800 Units 01 and 00 will activate. At 1805 both units will be deployed. They will arrive at the primary base at Mount Futago by 1830. I have also brought you your clothes. Your plugsuit will be at the changing room."

Pilot Ikari looks at the foot of his bed. From under the covers, he nudges his clothes with his foot. He sits up which causes the covers to slide down.

"Will you be more mentally stable if we are… even?" Rei asks.  
"Why?" He rubs another bruise on his arm.  
"Now, we have both seen each other without-."

The Third Child yelps, cutting off Rei's sentence. He pulls the covers up from his legs to his chest in a frantic scramble.

"I'm sorry, Rei." He pulls his legs up to his chest and rests his head in his knees. "I've been screwing up since yesterday." His eyes glance at the food.  
"I have brought you a meal."  
He looks away. "I don't feel like eating anything."  
"We will depart in sixty minutes."  
"Do I have to pilot the Eva again? Is the Angel still alive?"  
"Yes."

He tenses. He shuts his eyes. "How are you so calm? I almost died. I don't even know what happened or how I'm alive. I don't wanna get back in, but I have to!"  
"Then stay. I will pilot Unit 01. I will have Doctor Akagi configure the Eva for my use."

Rei turns to leave. As she walks out the door, she hears Pilot Ikari call out, "Please, wait!" Rei stops. She almost misses him whisper, "I'm so afraid."  
"Don't be. I will protect you again."  
"Again?" He looks up at her and gives a puzzled expression.  
"Yes, I caused the floor to fall from under you."  
"Rei…" He rubs his eyes. "Thank you... Aren't you afraid though?"

She turns around and walks back to the room. The girl sits at the foot of his bed, careful not to move his clothes. She holds up her left hand to her face and examines it causing the Third Child to become even more confused.

"This is your habit." She clenches and opens the hand three times.  
"What? Looking at my hand?"  
"No, you open and close it when worried."  
"Yeah." He nods.  
"When you're scared?"  
"I guess? I don't pay much attention. It just happens."

Rei sets her hand on her lap. She looks into his eyes.

"I did consciously want to, but my hands did the same after I saved you. Was I worried?"  
"Um…"  
"Shinji, I am not… proficient in emotions. I require your clarification."  
"I think you were. You were worried about me, scared for me. Um, thanks, Rei."  
"I think my hands will clench again when we are in combat."

Rei stands up and leaves. The door closes behind her. Only then does she realize her right hand has been clenching. _How long has that occurred?_

* * *

Kensuke checks his watch again. Where are they? Cicadas chirp and his fellow classmates grumble. They're all guys. Well, there's a terrorizing fury with them too. Why is she here? Two Evas are about the head on out, but she never expressed much interests before. Anyway, their view from the school's roof should be perfect! Kensuke checks the batteries on his camera for the twentieth time. The rest of the students lean against the guard rail.

His best friend says, "They're really late. We ought to evacuate to the shelter."  
"I'm surprised, Suzuhara." Horaki nods in approval. "Maybe you are improving from your punishment."  
"Class Rep, My sis got hurt because we didn't get in a shelter soon enough. I still kick myself for thinking it was just another drill. I wouldn't want to see that happen again."  
Kensuke interrupts the two. "Hey, just five more minutes. I hacked into my dad's files, and I'm absolutely sure that this is the time they said."  
"Okay then. Where are they?" Toji motions to the area in front of them, a forest covered by the evening rays but devoid of any awesome Evas.

They hear a loud beeping sound. The mountain overlooking the forest rumbles. Half the mountainside slides down. It's a panel! Inside, he sees what has to be NERV's construction, metallic and new. They must've hollowed out the mountainside because the opening has to be way over a dozen stories tall! Everyone gawks at the site like it's snow or fireworks.

They hear another sound. It sounds akin to a large conveyor belt. Then, like a shark's fin, he sees that purple and green spike. The rest of the Evangelion follows. The war machine stands close enough that Shinji might even see him!

Kensuke almost craps his pants because another one comes out. Painted orange and almost looking more human, it comes to a stop next to Shinji's. It has a massive friggen' shield.

"Totally awesome!" both he and Toji shout at the same time. That one must be Rei's. _Why can't I be up there too?_

He doesn't hear the Class Rep whisper to herself. She put two and two together. He showed up just after this first Angel attack. There were so many rumors. Now, he isn't around the two friends who he almost never separates from. "Shinji?"

* * *

Shinji stands under the shadow of the Positron sniper rifle along with Misato, Dr. Katsuragi, and Rei. They've hooked up the entire power supply of Japan to this one weapon. He wasn't surprised when he learned that Misato came up with this insane plan. It might even work.

He blinks a few times trying to make his eyes adjust to the ever shifting pitch black of night and the bright moving lights around their area. NERV staff scrambles to set up everything in time.

"This thing wasn't really built for field operations, right?" he asks.  
"Point taken," says the doctor, "But we didn't have a choice. This was the most expedient way of achieving our goals."  
"Are you sure it's safe to use?"  
"Theoretically, yes. However, we aren't sure if the canon barrel and accelerator will be able to handle the stress or not. This will be the first time it's been fired with this amount of power behind it." _Shit. It might blow up in my face. Killed by my own gun… what a bad way to die._

Misato clears her throat. _At least they told me a little about this whole thing before throwing us out there._ "Listen up. Here's the battle plans for the operation. Shinji."  
"Yes?"  
"You will be the gunner."  
"What about Rei?"  
"She will defend you if needed."

He shakes his head. He clenches his hands into fists.

"No. I don't want her to be shot. Let me defend. Let her shoot. She must be a better shot than me!"  
Ritsuko looks at Shinji. He's sees a look in her eyes… sorrow? "You have a higher sync ratio, much higher. This operation requires an exceptionally high degree of precision. Furthermore, since the Positron beam will be influenced by the earth's gravity, magnetic fields and rotation, it will not fire in a straight line. We've built in a targeting system. When the two target symbols converge, pull the trigger."  
"But, why can't Rei?"  
"Because the system is only compatible with Unit 01. You are the only chance any of us, Rei included, could survive."

Shinji looks at the ground. _Stupid targeting system._

"Also," continues the doctor, "Don't miss. It will take twenty seconds for the barrel to cool down. You'll have to replace the fuse as well." _Shit! I mustn't miss, or Rei's dead._  
"Fine."  
"I…" Rei says. "I am to defend Unit 01, correct?"  
"Yes."  
"Understood."  
"It's time." Misato speaks again. "Both of you get geared up."

Rei leaves. Shinji stays behind. "Um, Misato?"  
"Yes?"  
He looks at the ground. "What was it like, to go into battle? To know that your fellow soldiers will be beside you?"  
"Terrifying to be honest." Her tone shifts into a serious one. "That's why I didn't let myself fail. I know you're worried about Rei. Do your best, then she'll be fine. That's what I can say as your operations commander."  
Shinji nods, not feeling much better.  
"This is what I'll give as your guardian."

She takes a few steps up to the boy until she stands over him. She kneels down, so they're on the same level. Then, she hugs him.

Normally, Shinji would blush or feel awkward from this, but he's too scared. He returns the hug.

"Thanks, Misato."

* * *

Shinji presses that button, so the suit loses its sag and becomes skin tight. He checks to make sure he properly folded his clothes before glancing at Rei. Only a thick blanket separates the two of them. He sees her outline, so not much if left to the imagination. She keeps in better shape than he does. _She's my sister._ He gulps and looks away. _Sorry, Rei._

He sighs. "Maybe this will be our last day alive."  
"Why would you say something like that?" Shinji hears her suit expel its air as well. At least she isn't naked anymore. "You won't die."  
"Huh?" He jerks his head to her outline.  
"I'll be protecting you."

Shinji can't suppress a smile.

She walks out of the changing room. He does the same. They take different doors out, each leading to a gangplank next to their own Eva. The city behind them looks dark except the spotlights around that Angel. Only a few meters separate Shinji from his sister, a chasm between their two gangplanks. _It's like us… Close enough to talk, too see each other's faces, but not… not able to be together._

Here, they sit, nearly in fetal positions. They overlook the world which they'll either save or damn to destruction. All those people need him to be brave, but he doesn't want to get inside, not really.

"Rei, why do you this thing? Even if we're about to die like I almost did? How can you be so much stronger than me?"  
"Because I'm bonded to it." She looks up at the night sky. With the blackout, the stars look a little brighter tonight.  
"You're bonded?"  
"Yes, it's a bond."  
"To our father?" He suppresses his anger at the man.  
"To all people. To myself. To you."  
He sighs. "I wish I was as strong as you."  
"I… Shinji, I have nothing else."  
 _What!_ "What d-do you mean? Don't y-you have me?" _What's wrong with you, Rei? I'll be here for you until you or I die!_  
"It's time."

She stands up, her form outlined by the full moon. "Let's go." He squints. The heavenly body illuminates her in angelic light. "Goodbye… brother."

She enters her entry plug. Shinji is alone. _I swear. She'll live through this. No matter what, she will._

* * *

Shinji stares at the Angel. It looks so weird. It's as if someone took the pyramid in the GeoFront, made another, then stuck their bases together. It shines like a woman's elegant diamonds. A drill juts down from the enemy to the ground below. Why doesn't it blast its way through? He chuckles. What if it's really stupid? What if it's really arrogant?

He sighs. He'll never know. He has to focus on his mission. For Rei, he will. Her goodbye, does she suspect that one of them will die? He shakes his head. She said he won't die, so she must think she'll be the one dying. _Rei, I'm so sorry._

"Shinji." Misato's voice comes over the intercom. "We're entrusting you with Japan's entire electrical output." _Yeah, don't fuck up. I get it._  
"Roger."  
"Initiate power connection."

Shinji shifts his position as the rifle receives its power. From far above, maybe he could be mistaken for a hunter lying in the prone position. He loads the rifle with a fuse like one would for a real bolt action rifle. He pulls down a helmet for targeting. _This must be the thing making Rei a damn meat shield. I bet they didn't install one for Unit 00 on purpose. They wanted me to do it just because I have a higher sync ratio. What's Rei's anyway?_

The two targets converge over the Angel, that blue asshole.

"I have the Angel targeted." _I must protect Rei._  
"Wait for the volleys to go, then you. We'll catch the bastard with his pants down."  
"Roger, Misato." _What would that thing look like if it wore pants… Focus! Rei need me._

From the forest and mountains surrounding Tokyo-3, volleys of automated artillery and missiles fire at the floating shape. The missiles are shot down by its beam before they could hit, and the artillery is as effective as throwing pebbles at a battleship. It blows those up too.

Shinji forces his breathing to slow. He'd be hyperventilating if not. His heartbeat goes unchecked and races, pounding in his ears. It's hard to tell in the LCL, but he must be sweating too. _I must protect Rei._

"The Angel should be weakened from its blasts. Still targeted?"  
"Yes."  
"Fire!"

He pulls the trigger and hears a piercing whir. The beam doesn't fly exactly straight, but it flies true to the target. It pierces the center of the Angel. Blood gushes out, lakes of blood. It covers the city below.

He hears cheering over the intercom. Relief washes over the boy. _I protected Rei. That was easy. Why can't the other two be like this one? Rei didn't have to do anything. I didn't even eat the Angel._

"The Angel is not dead!" screams Ritsuko. _SHIT!_

A beam from the monster slams into Shinji's position. He screams in pain. His Eva crashes backwards as his body feels as though it's on fire. Before he could try to do anything, it stops. He can't keep himself from hyperventilating now. All he sees is black. He blinks a few times to determine if he's blind. He rips off the helmet and sees the world again.

He sees a hellish landscape. Everything's on fire. The rifle still sits in position, surviving due to its heat resistance.

"The Angel's injured!" Misato sounds frantic. "Shoot! Shoot! We don't know if it could fire a full powered blast this time!" _I must protect Rei!_  
"Misato! My targeting system's out!"  
"God damn it! Fire anyway."

Shinji crawls back to the rifle. He cries. He sees his hands shake from the pain. His Eva's armor looks like a used candle, holding the same form but showing signs of being melted. _I must protect Rei!_

He pulls himself forward one arm or leg at a time. _But, I can't. I can't target the Angel. I can't calculate however the rifle will fire. It's not a straight line. I'll fire, miss, and get shot again. This time, I think I'll die. I can't protect Rei. Not now. I'm useless, a piece of meat for her to shield… No, there is a way. I can protect her._

"Rei!" He calls out.  
"Yes."  
"Give me your shield. You target the Angel. I can't!"

He hears her footsteps. Two hands pull him up before his left arm is jerked down. The shield's heavy. He trudges in front of the rifle, a clear target for the Angel. He glances back at Rei. She must be hearing an earful from Dr. Ritsuko and Misato.

She unloads the fuse and puts another in. Twenty seconds. That's all they need.

"Shinji!" Misato screams. "Prepare for another attack!" _Damn it._

He holds up the shield. The Angel doesn't have a hole in it anymore. It must've healed somehow. _I must protect Rei._

Like an ancient centurion, he holds his shield in front of him. He's engulfed in the yellow light of the beam.

PAIN!

 _For Rei, I'll endure._

* * *

"Rei!" Pilot Ikari's voice comes over her intercom. Why is he calling for her when he should be moving into position again?

"Yes."  
"Give me your shield. You target the Angel. I can't!"

Her mind runs through various scenarios. Without the targeting apparatus, they will do so manually. Since the Third Child's Eva sustained notable burns and he has far less firearm training than her, his logic is sound.

She moves from her position to Unit 01. She picks up her comrade and hands him her shield. She picks up the rifle and sets it down to readjust its direction. The blast must have knocked it off of the target.

"I will fire at the Angel when ready," she says to her commanders.  
"Acknowledged." Doctor Akagi does not sound happy. She sounds sore and alarms blare behind her. Their mobile command center may have sustained damage. "I trust you know what to do."

She reloads another fuse. She mentally counts down for the barrel to cool, perfectly matching the precision of a real timer. _20._ She senses the Angel's energy rising. It will fire. _Pilot Ikari._

She loses sight of the target, swallowed by the murderous beam of Ramiel. _16._ Like the sun, she has to close her eyes to stop them from sustaining damage. Unit 01's shield must be falling apart. She peeks, and her suspicions are proven true. The shield will fall apart before she could fire. _13._

 _Why is pilot Ikari not retreating?_ He holds his hands in front of him, for the shield disintegrated. _He willingly lays down his life for my own. Would he do so if he knew what I am instead of who I was?_ _9._ Unit 01 projects an A.T. field. She opens her communication channel to his. He screams in pain like a mindless animal. _He suffers for me, denies his bodily urges to survive. 5._

 _My life does not outweigh his. If anything, his hold far more value than mine. 4._ She squints and aims for where she last saw the Angel. Since it had not moved for several hours, it should be in the same position. _3._ Unit 01 falls to its knees. The A.T. field cracks from the blast. Pilot Ikari's screams have become even more frantic and pained. _2\. If I miss, he will die. I feel my hands clenching. I… worry._

 _If he dies, then I will become empty. 1._ She pulls back on the trigger. _I will protect… my brother. 0._

The Positron rifle fires into the beam. For a moment, the blue and yellow lights battle against each other, neither able to overcome the other. Then, the yellow one ends and Rei's flies towards Ramiel. It pierces through its center. For a moment, nothing happens. The Angel floats above Tokyo-3; all of NERV hold their breath. Then, it bursts into blood and falls to the city, dead.

Rei rushes to the smoldering body of Unit 01. After picking up and dragging it for a moment, she dunks it in a lake of the Angel's blood. She takes out Unit 01's knife from its pylon and pries off a back armor piece. Dumping the unit on the ground, she pulls out the entry plug. Unable to do more while inside Unit 00, she sets his entry plug on the ground and ejects her own.

After it lands, Rei runs to his entry plug since it will take NERV's crew too long to arrive in time. She grasps the manual release bars and pulls with all her might. Her flesh burns, but the pain only could be an inconvenience compared to… to losing him, such emptiness. _I must protect Shinji._

She opens the hatch. A rush of hot air escapes from within the entry plug. She pulls herself inside.

"Shinji?"

He sits in his chair, slumped over. Unconscious? Dead? Blood trickles down from his nose. He lets out a moan and lifts his head up.

"You have nothing?" He coughs. He tries to stand, but falls down into the LCL. Rei hoists him up and drag him out. It is cooler outside. "You were going to leave me with that?" He lies down in the grass but props himself up with his arms. _He desires to see me._

Rei sits down. She puts his head in her lap so he could see her easily.

"Don't say goodbye like that. Not ever again. Please." He breaks down crying. Rei freezes. _Why is he sad?_ He takes hold of her hand and holds it tight… as if he has nothing else to hold onto.

"Why are you crying?" He doesn't respond. He only cries, like a child. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do in situations like this."  
He sits up. Now, he's right in front of her. "You could start by smiling." He smiles, as if to show her how.  
 _Smiling?_ For a moment, Rei stares at her brother. Then, she smiles.  
"Don't ever leave me. I won't. I promise" He hugs her. She gasps. "I love you."

Rei returns the hug.

* * *

Misato's voice: "Screw Jet Alone. A Human Work will be about all of the humans. What's life like right now for Rei, Shinji, Misato, Kensuke, Toji, and Hikari (before the angry German arrives by boat)? Find out in the next chapter! Also, I might slip in something extra!"

* * *

Author's Notes: There's the climax for the first story arc. The resolution and transition to the next arc will be the next chapter.

So, I did something a bit different with Ramiel. Rei killed it. I have more to say about this in my response to the reviews actually, but I like what I ended up doing. Plus, Rei never got a kill for herself except the time she blew herself (and Unit 00 and much of Tokyo-3) up. Now, she has one. Hurray!

I am a bit bummed in how I skipped just about everything to do with Misato in this chapter. She has so many scenes without any of the pilots present, and I want to keep this story without adult POVs. If all goes to my current plan, she'll get more "screen time" next chapter.

Also, why is Hikari with all of the boys during Kensuke's POV? Two reasons. First, I felt it was weird to have only boys out there waiting for the Evas. Second… it'll be explained the next chapter. There's honestly a lot going on right now that hasn't been viewed by Shinji and Rei. I'll shed some light on a few of those things soon.

One other thing, it is intentional how Rei has been having more thoughts (italics). I don't want anyone to think I'm just getting lazy and forgetting to not do that. I hope you like what I've been doing with the story so far.

Replies to comments:  
Tribun: I like your interpretation of the twin's interactions. Of course, I'm not saying it is (or isn't) correct. And yep, I basically had this entire chapter be about how Rei does care for Shinji even if she doesn't understand.  
Posh Dude: Well, know we all know how Shinji would react to Rei shielding him. I hope you found it interesting.  
delta4phoenix: For some reason, after reading your comment, I came up with the idea of switching Rei and Shinji's places. (I was originally just going to have it be a "normal" battle but with them sharing a hug at the end anyway.) You're also right. There was a lot of character development. (And, since there's no way I could confirm this naturally in the story, Ritsuko chose not install the targeting system in Unit 00 specifically to ensure he'd be the one firing. She figured Shinji's high sync score vastly outweighed his relative unfamiliarity with firing rifles.)  
Traitor of All Traitors (who commented on chapter 5): Yes and yes. I did use a translator on a few parts of my German. For example, I had no idea that pilot is Pilot in German. I also used dictionaries and translators to learn (most of) what German I know. If any of you wonderful readers who can speak the language well see any parts that could use improvement, I'd love it if you let me know in comments or PMs.

Thank you everyone who has commented, favorited, and/or followed Twins so far!

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:  
Hikari was with Toji and Kensuke when they saw Units 00 and 01 march to the confrontation.  
Hikari has deduced that Shinji is a pilot.  
Rei killed Ramiel.  
Rei thought of Shinji as Shinji for the first time (instead of the Third Child or Pilot Ikari).  
Shinji and Rei hugged.


	9. A Human Work

Chapter 7

 _Stupid First and Third Child! They killed another Angel. That's three! I should be the one killing them, saving the masses so they praise me. They must feel so smug. I'm the one who was trained as a pilot since forever! I suffered for this job; I live for this job. The First never did shit, and the Third showed up out of nowhere. They must be basking in praise! I can't even get Kaji to love me! It's not fair. It isn't! My plan isn't working with him, but there's one more thing I will do…_

* * *

Shinji yawns as water pours down his face. It's daybreak, and he hadn't slept all night. He was out of it after the first time he was shot by that floating Angel. What was the name Rei used? Um, Ramiel. That's it. Who cares if it's time for school? He needs sleep. As far as he's aware, Rei hasn't slept for almost twenty-four hours. She really needs some.

He turns the shower handle to the left. The warm water ends its torrent of bliss, and Shinji feels enveloped by the cold. He dries himself off, but it takes longer than normal. His bruises and a light burn or two makes his skin tender. Plus he's sore, more sore than he's ever been in his life. He tosses his towel in a hamper and puts on his clothes.

He checks the mirror for any traces of remaining LCL. _Damn. I look tired._ His eyes seem as though they stare far away. His shoulders slouch. Two dark rings rest under his eyes from lack of sleep. He shakes his head and exits the male locker room.

"Rei? Are you hurt?" He looks at his sister, sitting in a chair just outside the locker door. She wears her school uniform as always, but now two bandages wrap around the palm of each hand.  
"When I opened your entry plug, my hands took minor burns. I am still combat capable." She looks at Shinji and tries to smile. It doesn't come out quite right, so she reverts back to her impassive stare. "I… thank you for shielding me."  
Shinji sits down next to Rei. "Aren't you tired? You should get some sleep."  
"We will be briefed on our combat performance by the captain and the major."  
"Oh."

Rei stands and marches down the hallways. Shinji follows, since he never had this happened before. The first time, he was unconscious after finishing. The second time, they put him in solitary confinement. If it wasn't for Rei, he'd have no idea where to go.

The wind through the rooms and corridors of NERV. This'll be the first time he'll see Misato since before the battle. He and Rei were rushed to the hospital after they were picked up. Dr. Akagi was convinced both of them should've sustained more injuries. Why?

Rei enters a door marked "Conference Room." _At least the name's easy to remember._ Shinji follows.

The room doesn't have much. A clock ticks on the left wall. A coffee machine and paper cups sit on a small table in the corner. A square table takes up the center of the room. Misato and Dr. Akagi sit at the side opposite of the two pilots. Piles of paperwork with graphs and numbers cover the table. Misato smiles even though she looks really tired too. The doctor looks more curious than anything else. Shinji and Rei sit down.

"How you two doing?" asks Misato.  
"Fine," they say.  
The blonde shakes her head. "Let me clarify. Are either of you suffering from lingering feeling of burns even if they aren't present on your body or any other psychological oddities?"  
Shinji shakes his head. Rei answers, "No."  
"We're trying to be careful here. Both of your sync rates skyrocketed during the battle." The doctor pushes foreword a piece of paper with stuff Shinji can't quite understand.  
"What?" Shinji glances at Rei. She doesn't show any sign of surprise.  
"Higher sync rates mean better control but a higher susceptibility to being injured along with your Eva. You both had an… oddity. Just before the fifth Angel fired again, your sync ratios simultaneously rose to 99% and stayed with .5% of that range until the Angel was defeated."  
"Um, is that good?"  
Misato speaks up again. "Yeah, very good. You almost doubled the previous record."  
"Oh."

Ritsuko stands up and pours herself a cup of coffee. "Want some?"  
"No, coffee is more of an adult thing."  
"Suite yourself. Rei, you can go. Same with you, Misato, but save me a seat. I'm hungry too. Shinji, there's a few more things I'd like to run over you with."  
"Um, okay."

Rei leaves quietly. Misato almost knocks over her chair on the way out.

"Am I going to be punished or something for shielding Rei?"  
The blonde shakes her head. "No, for once you made a sound tactical decision in combat."  
"Sorry." Shinji turns his gaze down.  
"That was a compliment."  
"Oh, sorry."  
"Shinji, were you in control the entire time? Nothing berserk, right?"

He looks back up. She takes a sip from her coffee and lights a cigarette. He scratches his head.

"Yeah?"  
"You deployed an AT field. Neither Rei nor the Second Child ever did that. I'll run some activation tests with you to see if you can do it again. If so, then we'll have a distinct advantage." _Oh, that's good._  
"The AT field was that orange thing that came up?"  
"Yes, it's also what's keeping Unit 01's repair time down to just a week. Otherwise, it'd be much longer and would put Rei in danger of soloing an Angel." _Oh, so it's very good then._  
"Is that all?"  
"Yes."

Shinji exits the room. He wanders the halls for several minutes, being lost the entire time. He finds some sort of lounge for NERV staff, so he takes a seat. Someone will have to show up eventually. They can't all be working on cleaning up that Angel, right? His eyes grow heavy.

Shinji sleeps there for the next ten hours.

* * *

Rei wakes up at five hundred hours, as always. She tosses aside her blankets and walks to the kitchen sink. She pours a glass of water and grabs the required pills. She gulps them down as she places her instant breakfast in the microwave.

After consuming the bland but nutrient-filled meal, Rei sits in her only chair. As with many things in her life, her present state differs from her past states. She used to sit, nothing more. No thoughts or actions, just the state of existing. Now, she still appears dead to the world from an outside perspective, but her mind analyzes the Third Child and those that affect him.

 _It is my mission. He requires an improved mental state._

His friends perplex Rei, though she assumes that she will find increased understanding after further interaction. Aida has an obsession with Evangelion, but he befriended a pilot. Was it only the gain more information? Suzuhara assaulted the Third Child, but they gained an increased understanding.

On the topic of Suzuhara, pilot Ikari expressed despair at knowing that he hospitalized his little sister during the battle with Sachiel. While reversing injuries is unattainable, there exists a different possibility to improve this situation.

Rei takes out her laptop from her dresser. While Commander Ikari insisted she have this device, she never made use of it until this moment. She submits and forces electronic paperwork through various loopholes using her access to the MAGI and her access code. It takes an hour of effort, but she succeeds in her mission.

As she puts away the device, someone knocks on the door. "Um, Rei?" Pilot Ikari has come to see her. Why? "Are you here?"  
"Yes."  
"Can I come in?"  
"Yes."  
"Are you, um… wearing enough?"

 _Am I?_ Rei looks down. _I am._ She had not changed from her schoolgirl uniform from yesterday.

Rei walks to the door and opens it. Like her, he wears the assigned clothes for school; nonetheless, he carries a bucket containing cleaning supplies and an opaque bag. She cocks her head to the side.

"Have you come to clean my apartment?"  
"Um, yeah. A little. I'll do the rest after school."

He walks inside and heads to her bed. After opening the bag, he takes out a pillowcase. Discarding her bloody one into the trash, he replaces it with a clean one. Then, he throws away the bloody rags strewn around her room.

"Why do you clean?"  
After tossing the last rag in the trash, he shrugs. "Why wouldn't I? Misato was just as bad, and I don't want you sleeping on your own blood."  
"Would it not be more beneficial to take the extra time to sleep instead of work?"  
He rubs the back of his head. His cheeks flush slightly. "I, um, got lost at Central Dogma and ended up sleeping at a lounge. A technician found me and led me out. Misato never noticed. She got drunk when she was having breakfast with Dr. Akagi. She was nice though."  
"Lieutenant Ibuki?"  
"Yeah, how'd you know?"  
"She serves as a bridge technician, the protégé of Doctor Akagi, and remains one of the few who express concern over our well-being."  
"Oh, I never noticed. Sorry."

He takes out a dusting rag and wipes off the fine layer of dust which coats her room.

"Hey, Rei?"  
"Yes."  
"Why don't you have anything pretty here?"  
"Like what?" She has no need. The apartment meets the necessary standards, so the addition of cosmetics remains superfluous.  
"Pictures, paint on the walls, flowers."  
"I do not enjoy flowers."  
"Why?"  
"They exist for only a short while before they die, cut off from their roots. Decay overtakes momentary visual appeasement."  
"I could get some living ones, but you'd have to take care of it."  
"Would you feel gratification if I agree?"

The Third Child stops dusting and opens with mouth to say something, but he does not. Frozen like a statue, he stares until he says, "Yeah?"  
"Then I agree… We should leave soon. A tardy would appear inconvenient on your records."

He nods and grabs her schoolbag. _That was… kind._ After they close her apartment door, pilot Ikari picks up his schoolbag as well.

"Hey, um, Rei?"  
"Yes."  
"I made you a lunch."  
"You are kind."

He smiles from her comment. _Why? Does he not know that selfless acts are deemed kind by society? Perhaps he smiles since I was the speaker._

"Um, would you wanna eat with Toji and Kensuke? I think they'd be happy to."  
Rei casts her gaze to the ground. "My presence makes others uncomfortable."  
"Not me. I, um, like being around you. And, well, I think those two wouldn't mind you if they can withstand being around me."  
"Oh."

* * *

"Toji? Kensuke?" Shinji rubs his eyes. If it wasn't for the mind-numbing torture, he'd be impressed by how boring their professor could actually teach.

"Yeah?" they say together.  
"Rei's going to join us for lunch."

Both boys stop in their tracks. A kid almost walks into the two while the other students in the hallway give a second look. Most don't care though, too worried about getting their favorite lunch seat to care.

They turn around just as Rei walks up to Shinji.

"Hi?" Kensuke turns on his camera.  
"So, um, uh," Toji stutters. "I'm, er, my name is Toji."  
"Yes, Toji Suzuhara. You are Kensuke Aida. I am honored to be accepted into your eating group. Your friendship with Shinji provides a distinct benefit for him."  
"Yeah…" Toji's eyes shift around as if he's wondering if they causing a scene. "What are we waiting for then?" His tone reverts back to his normal, happy one. "Let's eat!"

They all head to the roof. The other day, the three boys decided to eat up here. No one else does, so it lets them talk about NERV stuff without raising suspicions. None of it is classified though.

They eat in silence. Toji and Kensuke keep on glancing at Rei. _I'll have to break the ice. They're all uncomfortable. Maybe not Rei, but she doesn't like this. That's for sure._

"Rei, do you know if there's cameras up here?"  
"Yes, but none have audio recording capabilities. If we face east as we are doing now, then we may speak freely."  
Kensuke's eyes light up. "Cool! How do you know that?"  
"I have full access to the MAGI computers."

The boy drops his lunch on the ground, but he doesn't notice. He shakes with excitement.

"You do! You know everything! Tell me! No, better idea. Get me as an Eva pilot!"  
"I cannot relay classified data. Unit 02 has a pilot. Units 03 and 04 are a few months from completion, in the United States."  
"Oh, um… Wait. There's a third Eva! Where is it? Why hasn't it fought yet?" _At least Kensuke looks like he'll get along with my sister. I hope she can withstand his barrage of questions._  
"Unit 02 and its pilot are being transported here from Germany using the Pacific fleet. They are scheduled to arrive in twenty days."

"Suzuhara!" Everyone turns at the newcomer.  
"Shit, what now?" the jock whispers to himself. _She didn't sound angry though._  
"You have a call from your father. He's frantic, something about your sister." _Concern? I guess she's concerned. Hell, so am I. I thought she was recovering._

Toji runs down the stairs faster than Shinji thought possible. Hikari chases after him yelling what phone booth to use. Shinji's heart pounds.

"If something bad happened to Sakura, I…" Shinji wipes off a tear and sniffs. _My fears are getting the best of me. There has to be a different explanation, right?_  
"Toji would do anything for her," Kensuke says, forgetting all about the Eva. "If… if she… Then, Toji would… Shit. She'd better be fine."

Shinji looks over at his sister. Why hasn't she said anything yet? She picks up some rice with her chopsticks and eats it. How is she so calm? It can't be indifference, right?

"Look." Rei points down below. Toji scrambles to a phone booth far outpacing Hikari. In his haste, he nearly tramples over a boy. He picks up the phone. From their distance, they can't hear him. They can't even see his facial expressions.

"I wish we could hear what he's saying," Kensuke mutters.  
"At this point," Rei says, not taking her gaze off of Toji. "Suzuhara listens to his father's news."  
Toji seems to be frozen in place.  
"Then, he asks for a reiteration, not believing what he heard."  
It looks like he shakes his head.  
"Now, he celebrates." _What do you know already, Rei? What's going on?  
_ Toji drops the phone and leaps up and down like a little boy. Hikari finally reaches him, and he hugs her, still leaping. She screams something, though they can't hear what she says. Rei takes another bite of rice.  
"After explaining to Class Representative Horaki the meaning of his emotion, to not be accused of sexual or physical assault, Suzuhara will run back up to tell us the news though Horaki will follow behind by twenty seconds."  
Toji sprints back the way he came.

"Rei?" Kensuke asks. "What do you know?"  
"What do you mean?" She tilts her head. "I know many things."  
"About the phone call."  
"Suzuhara will explain."

They hear footsteps pounding up the stairs. "Guys! Guys! Hey, guys!" screams their friend. He scrambles onto the roof panting heavily and smiling joyfully. "My sister's goin' to NERV hospital. Today!" He bends over to catch his breath. _What! How did that happen? You know what? I don't care. She'll get the best care in the country._ "I don't know how, but someone did something!"

He hugs Kensuke almost knocking off his glasses in the process. He looks at Shinji for help.

"Hey, uh, Toji." Shinji places his hand on his shoulder. "I'm so happy for you."  
"It was you!" he exclaims. "You must've done this for my sis!" He hugs Shinji. Now, Shinji stands frozen in place.  
"I'm just a pilot. I don't have that authority."  
Toji lets go. "Then who?"

Hikari reaches the foursome. She looks spent and sweaty. _I think it was twenty seconds. Huh._

Kensuke adjusts his glasses. "Ayanami?" They all look at Rei.  
"Yes?"  
"Did you…"  
"Did I what?"  
"Never mind."

Hikari clears her throat. "Suzuhara, I can excuse you from the rest of today's classes under one condition."  
The jock turns to Hikari, tears of joy falling from his eyes. "Yes? Anythin'! Just let me see her, please."  
"Turn in your homework tomorrow. All of it."

He's gone in an instant. They faintly hear him call out, "Sure!"

The remaining four stand there for a moment. Then, Kensuke's eyes open wide. "Shit! I gotta go tell the others about this." He runs down the stairs, much slower than Toji.

 _Damn. Sakura's in good hands now. Rei. She has to have done something about this. I'll have to ask her, in private. She knew how much this hurt me, knowing I put my friend's sister in the hospital because… I wasn't good enough. I can't reverse the deaths. How many died in the last attack? It melted an entire skyscraper, and some people might've died from all that blood. Still, Rei helped the living scarred by my mistakes._

"Pilot Ikari?"  
"Yes. Um, uh…" _Shit. That wasn't Rei._ "You figured it out too, Class Rep?" Shinji chuckles. "I must be pretty bad at hiding things. Who else knows?"  
She blushes. "I'll assume that Ayanami knows and your friends too. That's all."  
"Oh. Well, I'm the pilot."  
"Thank you. That's what I wanted to say."  
"Why?"  
"Because you and that other pilot." She looks at Rei for a fraction of a second. "Whoever she… or he is, saved our lives."  
"I don't deserve that."  
"I think you do. Also, was it you that transferred…"  
"No, pilots hold no authority that way."  
"Oh, if you ever find out, thank that person, for Toji and, um, me too. He really loves his sister."  
Shinji smiles. _Like Rei._ "I know."

* * *

Shinji hears that one word ring in his head over and over. _Yes._ She said it so simply, so matter-of-fact. From the answer, it would've made sense if he asked something mundane. _Is the parent-teacher conference tomorrow? Yes. Will you be able to handle Kensuke? Yes. Did you somehow manage to get Toji's sister out of an overcrowded, underfunded hospital and into treatment exactly the same as us pilot do? The very same treatment they give to us kids who defend the city from giant monsters? Without telling anyone?_

She said, "Yes." That was it. No further explanation. She just kept on walking up the steps to her apartment. She did something so kind, yet… was it that she doesn't like praise? Maybe she doesn't understand how important it was. Maybe… she thinks it's her duty, to… how did she put it? _Improve your mental state._ That's what she said. In her own weird way, she wants her brother to feel better. Was helping Toji just a byproduct of her mission, or does she want to help others as well?

 _Gah, maybe I'm overanalyzing everything with Rei. She's just shy but saw an opportunity to do some good. That's it. Maybe if I asked her earlier, she would've said more._

Shinji smiles as he takes a bite of toast. Pen Pen swallows a fish in sync with the human. Shinji found it weird to have a roommate like the penguin, but they coexist. He's even pet him a few times now.

Misato's door slides open. She's hung over, again. She yawns, again. Nothing but short pajama shorts and some bra thing cover her body, again. _Maybe I should ask her what that thing's called. Nah, I'd get teased. I doubt Rei would know either._

"Good morning," he says.  
She opens her mouth and yawn again, hardly even trying to cover it with her mouth. "G'morning."

She takes out a beer from the fridge and downs it without breathing. She lets out some primal yowl and smashes the empty can on the table. "This is the way to start your morning!"  
 _Gross._ "Why not coffee?"  
She leans over the table. "A traditional Japanese breakfast begins with rice, miso, and a little sake." She accentuates the last word.  
"You mean your traditional breakfast."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
 _Speaking about breakfasts…_ "Besides, who was supposed to cook this morning anyway?" _Not that you not cooking is a bad thing. I like not dying from my food, but you could learn how to cook, Misato._  
She growls.  
"Now, I know why you're still single at your age." _I hope this isn't pushing too far._  
Her eyebrow twitches, but she keeps her poker face. "Are you saying that I'm lazy?"  
"And sloppy too."  
"Leave me alone."  
"I'm finished."

Shinji stands up and takes his plate to the sink. He was harsh, but the words are true. A woman of Misato's age, especially after Second Impact, would be dating, married, or widowed. She's single. Maybe that's for the better. Sometimes she's like a kid, a little one. He glances back. She sits cross legged on her chair, grasps the chair's edge with her hands centimeters from her feet, and swings a piece of toast back and forth using nothing but her mouth. _Not even Rei did something this… immature as a child._

"Are you really going to school today?" he asks trying to sound normal. _Please have something else to do._  
"Of course. It's your parent-teacher meeting after all." _Thanks a shitton, Father. If you would come, I wouldn't have to worry about this. You couldn't even do this for Rei? Huh… who's her guardian anyway? Someone has to show up, but Misato is… so our father isn't._  
"But you're so busy with your work." _And drinking._  
"Don't worry. This's part of my job anyway."  
"It's part of your job?" _Nothing more?_

The doorbell rings. _Rei insisted on meeting me here yesterday, said something about it only being fair. I guess that's her._

"Hi!" Misato calls out. "I'll be there in a second!"  
"Misato, you shouldn't go outside dressed like that." _It's… um, exciting enough for me. I'd hate to see what this'd do to our neighbors._ "It's embarrassing."  
"I know." She giggles.

He opens the door. Instead of Rei, he sees his other two friends. For some really weird reason, Toji wears his school bad strap on his forehead, like some karate master. _His sister's getting so much better. He deserves to be happy, not have me criticize him._

"Good morning, Shinji," they say together. The poke their heads through the door. "Misato! We're taking off now." _They just want to ogle at her._  
"Be careful," she sings, but she stays out of their line of sight, thank goodness.  
"Oh, come on!" Shinji says. They must've gotten up twenty minutes early just to have a chance at seeing Misato.

"Hello." All three boys turn their head to Rei. She steps out of the elevator. _If they even think about ogling her… I'll… I'll… do something I'll really regret to be honest._

* * *

Their professor left several minutes before the end of class. No one complained, of course. He didn't have to explain the reason why. He walks slower than sloth, and the parent-teacher conference isn't close by. Heck, he's still gonna be late.

Hikari didn't bother trying to keep the class on some school related activity. It's Saturday, their half-day, and everyone looks forward to having some free time. Even the pig-tailed girl herself chats with some of the other girls.

A car engine screams, so Shinji looks out the window. _Yup, it's her._ She spins the car around. It slides into the parking spot and comes to a rest perfectly. _Either she's really lucky, or she spent way too much time practicing that move._

She steps out of the car, and she had enough sense to dress in a proper manner. A long enough skirt, shirt, jacket, even sunglasses and earrings. It's a funny transformation from this morning. Shinji sighs. _Too bad none of the other boys, any who could see his guardian, think the same way._ They lean out the windows or get as close as they could manage. Shinji slinks back from the crowd away from the window.

He takes a seat by Rei as the only boy not gawking. Some of the girls continue to talk. Some mutter about how all boys are perverts. _I'm not!_ Hikari gives a glare that he hasn't seen before. He follows her line of site to… Toji?

"What are you looking at?" Rei asks quiet enough for no one else to hear.  
"Hikari's looking at Toji."  
"Yes."  
"I'm trying to figure out why."

Rei looks behind her at the Class Rep. She turns back to Shinji.

"Horaki puts focus on Suzuhara."  
"What?"  
"Do you ever wonder how Toji wears a track suit?"  
Shinji glances at his friend. It is strange, to say the least. "Sorta."  
"Horaki became Class Representative in seventh grade. She made it her personal mission to have all students graduate to the next grade, including the one who flunked."  
"Toji?"  
"Yes. She attempted many methods to raise his grades. The track suit proved beneficial, so she convinced the school board to make one exception for him."  
"She talked in front of the school board?"  
"Yes, it lies in the school's public records."  
"How do you know that? Actually, never mind. Does Toji…"  
"The class is unaware."

Shinji looks around. The boys still look at Misato. The girls seem too wrapped up in their own conversations to even notice Rei talking.

The bell rings. All the students hurry to leave. Ironically, most will stay for lunch, waiting for their parents or guardians to finish the conference. The foursome has another plan in mind.

Toji slaps Shinji on the back. "Hey, you ready to meet my sis? They finally are allowing non-family to see her. Thought you three should be the first!"  
Shinji chuckles while rubbing his back. "We're ready. You told us this…"  
"Forty-two times already," Rei finishes. _Was she counting?_  
"Cool! I'm so excited. You'll all love to meet her. Hey, um, I got four passes though. Any ideas on bringing someone else, or is three new people 'nough?" _Four?_  
"Standard procedure," Rei says.

 _I guess it is a coincidence. Still…_ He glances at Hikari. "Maybe Class Rep?"  
"What!" both boys shout. The few remaining students in the classroom pause to look at the yelling duo. "Why?"  
"She did let you out last week to see your sister."  
"Yeah…" Toji nods.  
"And you did sorta jump on her when you heard the news."  
"You saw that?" His face reddens as he rubs the back of his head. _Embarrassed, huh?_  
"And she didn't kill you after she learned you punched me."  
"True…"  
"And she has kept my secret, well, secret."  
"She knows too?"  
"She figured it out. She is the Class Rep after all."

After a moment of mulling it over in his head, Toji eyes open wide. "Shit! She already left!" He bolts out the classroom.

 _Well, I guess that worked._

* * *

Suzuhara skips down the hallways to his sister. Rei and the other three teenagers do their best to keep up without running. He seems animated. From the hospital records, Suzuhara has visited his sister every day, sometimes even spending the night. The staff already looks accustomed to his unhindered display of joy.

Rei deemed the joy to be an appropriate response considering his situation. His sister's stay in the hospital changed from indefinite to a couple of weeks. A full team of doctors work around the clock for a civilian's care. The budget was approved for unlimited funds by, officially, an "anonymous source".

The blue haired girl never once looked at Sakura from either security footage or photographic documentation. Like Shinji she should see the young girl for the first time in person.

Suzuhara knocks on a door, her door. "Hey, sis, Can we come in?"  
"Yes!" squeals a young voice.  
He pushes open the door and announces, "Here's my favorite sister!"

She appears young, somewhere around elementary age. She lies in bed and smiles. Various machinery surround her, and a cast encases her left leg. Nonetheless, Rei recognizes that it appears worse than actuality. Her hair is short, much like Rei's. Even after being hospitalized nearly a month, she appears fit. _Perhaps she is a tomboy. At the very least, I surmise that Suzuhara is not to the only person in his family to enjoy physical activities._

"Hi Kensuke!"  
"Hey."  
"Oh, are you the brave pilot? Shinji Ikari?"  
"Um, I'm the pilot that hurt you."  
"Thank you for saving my life and my big, dumb, nice brother's life too!"  
"I'm sorry for hurting you."  
"Doesn't piloting hurt you too?"  
"Yes."  
"Then we're even!"

She girl turns her gaze to the other female occupants of the room.

"Are you Miss Hikari?"  
"Yes. How did you know?"  
"Oh, big bro speaks so much about you." She giggles.  
"Sakura!" Toji gulps.  
"What did Suzuhara say?" She narrows her eyes making the jock almost melt.  
"You're a lot like me 'cause you boss him around, make sure he doesn't get into trouble, and you're really nice!"  
Kensuke laughs until Toji glares at him.

"Thank you, Sakura." Hikari blushes.  
"I don't know you. What's your name? I'm Sakura Suzuhara. Why's your hair blue?"  
"I am Rei Ayanami. My hair is… the product of an accident."  
"Are you someone's girlfriend?"  
"I am related to Ikari, and Aida and your brother accepted me into their group."  
"How nice! This's gonna be so much fun. It gets boring in here with only nurses and doctors around."

Suzuhara leans down and hugs his sister.

Rei touches her lips. _I'm smiling?_

* * *

 _Second Impact happened because of the First Angel? Wasn't that first one I fought the Third Angel? Where's the Second? Shouldn't they have told me that immediately? All my father had to say was…_

 _Shinji, get in the fucking robot! The world will explode unless you do._

 _I would've. Instead, he wheeled Rei out. What an asshole._

Shinji shakes his head. He'll never understand his father. It's hard enough to understand Rei. He takes another bite of toast, in perfect sync with Pen Pen who gulps down another fish. Misato's door opens. _Not again…_

He nearly falls out of his seat. Pen Pen drops a fish out of his mouth. Misato wears her best military uniform. Even more amazing, she doesn't have a hangover.

"Good morning," she says without any of her normal cheer.  
"Good m-morning, Misato," he stammers.  
"I'm going to Old Tokyo on business. I'll probably be getting back late tonight, so have something delivered for dinner. The news will have some interesting stuff on today. Bye."  
"Okay, um, sure."

She exits the apartment.

 _I think I like the drunk Misato more._

* * *

 _Well, that was weird. The JSSDF had a corporation build a giant robot to replace Evangelions, but then it went haywire? It almost squished Misato and then sorta blew up? At least there wasn't any radiation. The news called that part a miracle. Still, I'm glad she's alright._

Misato opens up her door as Shinji and Pen Pen take another bite of their own breakfasts. _And she's back to normal. Crap. Her near-death experience didn't help._

When he hears the doorbell ring, he rushes to the door.

"Good morning, Shinji," they say together.  
"I'm taking off!" he calls out to Misato.  
"Okay." _I bet she has a beer in her hand._

Rei exits from the elevator just as the three enter. They ride down together.

"What is the matter?" she asks.  
"That easy to tell?"  
"Yes."  
"Misato's a slob. It's embarrassing, and she doesn't do anything but lie around the house."  
"You're a lucky guy," Kensuke says.  
"What?"  
"She shows a side to you that she won't show anyone else, right? That means she's your family."

The elevator stops. Toji and Kensuke exit. "I guess he's right." Shinji smiles. "Rei, thanks for everything you've done." He takes something out of his school bag and puts it in her hand. His hand stays on hers for a few extra seconds. "It's, uh, Morning Glory flowers, but people call these Heavenly Blue. You like blue, right?"  
Rei looks at the package of seeds. "Yes, your eyes are blue."

* * *

 _Phase three of my plan, complete. I even got Kaji to drink two extra beers, not that I need him to be drunk because I could do it anyway. This just increases my chances from guaranteed to beyond guaranteed. He even let me have a can… or two… was it three? It doesn't matter. A little beer won't hinder my superior intellect._

 _Where all alone too. You're MINE, Kaji._

Asuka lies down on the futon next to Kaji, doing all she can to appear relaxed. She puts her arms behind her head to copy the position of her guardian. Plus, it accentuates her figure, especially her breasts. "So, I guess this'll be goodbye for a while. That's so boring." _Wanna have some fun?_  
"Oh, I'm sure you'll make lots of new boyfriends once you get to Japan, Asuka. Let's not forget the Third Child is a boy too." _But he's a child! It's even in that weird title we're given. I want a man, a real man, like you, Kaji! Girls date boys! Women date men!_  
She pretends to yawn and stretches out her body. She looks over at Kaji. "But, I'm not interesting in children." _You're so polite, Kaji, but take the hints. No one can resist my amazing body._ She rolls onto him and buries her face in his manly chest. "You're the only one I love, Kaji." _I love you! Please hold me._  
"Well, that's quite an honor." _No! You don't get it!_

She pushes herself up so she's on her hands and knees.

"I mean it, Kaji! If it's with you, then all of that stuff is totally okay. Kissing and what's after that even!" _Kiss me. Love me. Hold me. Don't let me go. Don't abandon me!_

He still doesn't move from his position, hands still behind his head.

"Asuka, you're still a child. Those things can wait until you've grown up a little."  
"Huh! But why?" _I am a grown up. I graduated college. I have larger breasts than most Japanese women! I… I… Don't reject me! My plan was perfect!_ "Can't you see that I'm already grown enough!" She pulls down her top and bra, all but exposing her breasts entirely. "I am a grownup!" _Just look at me, Kaji. Please, look at me!_

* * *

Misato's voice: "Rei has an interesting talk with the Bastard King. Meanwhile, Shinji meets Eva Unit 02 and its pilot as they head towards Japan. Will he be able to handle this loud and pushy redhead, or is the ship already sunk? The Third Child will face his toughest challenge yet! Oh, there's also an Angel they'll have to fight and fan service too in the next chapter, Asuka Strikes."

* * *

Author's notes: Asuka's scene was uncomfortable to write. Even when in third person, I try to write with a voice sympathetic and similar to whoever I'm following. That's easy for Rei, I have a solid grasp on Shinji, but Asuka's, um, pride in her physical attributes is… well… You get what I mean.

Somehow, this turned into my longest single chapter even after I decided to move a very long scene (which should easily pass two thousand words by itself) later in the story. I think it'd make more sense with Asuka in there anyway.

This also turned out to be my most lighthearted chapter so far, but this episode was one of the cheeriest. Heck, the "big bad" of the episode was the world's stupidest looking robot. I wanted a chapter of "daily life for Rei and Shinji" anyway, especially before Asuka throws her hat in the ring. Though, stuff'll get darker later on, of course. That takes me to my next point.

I view the NGE as four arcs.

Episodes 1 through 7 is the part where we're introduced to most of the characters, get a lot of background info on what the heck's happening, and introduce many of the psychological or story-driven themes. I also had this part recreate Shinji and Rei's relationship. I needed for them to get to a certain point before Asuka arrived, and I completed that goal this chapter. Plus, I introduced a mystery that y'all don't know the answer to: what the Hell happened to Rei?

Episodes 8 through 13 introduced the characters Kaji and Asuka. These are the "fun" episodes. Plus, they kill an Angel every friggen episode. At this point, a first time viewer might think everything will turn out for the better. I won't give any info on what I'll be doing differently (because I'd be an asshole to flat-out spoil), but Asuka will become the third protagonist. I hope y'all will like her because I'm guessing my readers are more Rei and Shinji fans than Asuka fans… due to the premise and all. If you do hate Asuka, maybe this'll change your mind a bit. Being able to see the characters in different situations could lead to a new understand of that character.

Episodes 14 through 21 are where everything falls apart. "Wait," you say in a surprised tone. "Did you say episode 14?" Yeah, when Shinji and Asuka kiss, it was their best opportunity to become dynamic characters, break down some of their walls and open up a bit. Instead, they remained static, so they collapsed during the coming shitstorm and did jack squat when Rei later friggen died and had her background revealed.  
"Um," you ask. "Are you making this a Shinji/Asuka pairing then?" I don't know, at all. Even though I know exactly where Asuka's relationship with Rei will go, I have no clue with her and Shinji. Hell, other than a few aspects of the ending, this is the one thing I haven't figured out. She could end up anywhere from a relationship worse than canon to a mutually beneficial one.

Episodes 22 through 26 and the End of Evangelion are the fulfillment of the character's failures to grow before this point. Asuka, Rei, and Shinji each face an Angel tailored to screw them up in their least secure area. In EoE, each character finally becomes dynamic. Rei rebels against Gendo and makes a decision for herself. Asuka learned to open up to others (or at least her mom and Shinji… sorta). Shinji learns to accept that there's pain in life and live with that fact.

Eek! Sorry, that was longer than I intended. That's the outline I'll use for the arcs. "But you just spoiled everything!" you all say. No, not really. As you hopefully have noticed, the characters (minus Asuka) already have grown, and it's not like you don't know the basic plot of NGE already.

Speaking of characters, what's up with Shinji? Why is he so OOC? I don't see it that way. Much of Shinji's actions so far were inspired from the episodes 8 through 13 arc. In other words, Shinji has been constantly jumping into metaphorical volcanoes for Rei. She's also been giving something akin to (in a Rei-like fashion) the attention, acknowledgement, and love that he needed and craved so much in canon. Still, this doesn't mean he's perfectly alright in the head. I had a scene in this chapter to show that, but cut it out due to word count and it… just didn't fit into this chapter's tone.

Lastly, how does Rei know so much about different characters? She has access to the MAGI and is left alone in her apartment all night long. How does Rei correctly predict what Toji does during the phone call scene? Two reasons. First, she knew what he was being told, and his reaction was rather predicable. Second, I wanted to show Rei's getting some (limited) grasp on how people operate. Plus, comedy. I had a bit of comedy in this chapter because even NGE has some really funny moments.

A few final questions for my readers now that act one is over:  
1\. Does my writing style annoy you? I've had trouble being way too formal before, so I specifically break some grammar rules in this story to keep that from happening.  
2\. Do any of you really not like Asuka? We Eva fans can be… opinionated at times. Plus, I also noticed that Interlude: Asuka doesn't have as many views as any of the other chapters (except for Hedgehog's Dilemma for some reason). I'm just oddly worried about this. (Plus, Asuka's character is harder for me to write than any of the other characters.)  
3\. Is there anything you want to see? Any suggestions? I'm writing this fanfic to be one I'd love to read, so I'd like to do the same for you.

Thanks!

Replies to comments (for a while, I had more comments than followers or favorites this week. That was cool to see):

Delta4phoenix, Thanks for the offer! I'll take you up on it eventually, one scene in particular. I ended up laughing at my own description. "before the angry German arrives by boat" was created on the spot, but many of my favorite lines in this fic were that way too.  
I can say Rei remembers tiny fractions of her early childhood. For example, the italicized "reminiscing" section at the start of chapter 4 are Rei's thoughts. But… yeah, for all intents and purposes, she doesn't remember much of anything. Yui's reactions… huh, I haven't put a ton of thought to that. Thanks for bringing that up before I get to a point where that becomes relevant and think, "Now what?"

Traitor of All Traitors, I'm delighted to hear that you find this impressive.

UmiNight Angel Neko, I took a bit of inspiration from some of the people behind Evangleion when I was planning out how I'll treat Rei in this fanfic. "Rei is expressionless but is it that she doesn't feel emotion, or that she is merely unable to express it?" – Yoshiyuki Sadamoto (the character designer for Evangelion). And Rei's "clouded by this huge sense of negative self-worth and the realization that she is expendable." – Amanda Winn-Lee (the English VA for Rei in NGE).

Guest, lol. I can hardly believe I missed that. Thanks for pointing out that error. Since I'll be promptly fixing that, here's what I originally had for future readers to laugh at. "Shinji shits his position as the rifle receives its power." For some reason, I could see him doing that too.

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon: (Wow, there's a lot this chapter.)

Shinji and Rei both hit a 99% sync rate. (I have good reasons for this, btw. I'm fully aware of how early and high their scores hit, though both of them have more "normal" scores except for that instant.)

Shinji deployed an AT field. (There were several time skips in this chapter, btw. So I don't forget myself, Shinji did do the tests, but he couldn't recreate AT fields.)

Shinji cleans up Rei's apartment. (Why didn't I make her move? While it would be easier for future updates, I always see Rei moving out of her apartment and either into one next door to Misato's or into Misato's. I think it made more sense for Shinji's character anyway. Bucking trends is fun.)

Rei's accepted into Shinji's group of friends (though she's still the outsider of the group).

Rei gets Sakura transferred into NERV's hospital (which greatly decreases her recovery time). She doesn't tell anyone but Shinji (though Kensuke's all but certain that she did).

Hikari told Shinji she knows he's a pilot. (She suspects Rei's the other too.)

Toji and Hikari are getting closer. (If you don't believe that Hikari had feelings for Toji at his point, go to 4:24ish on this episode. Hikari's face and demeanor, in the background, looks very jealous to me.)

Rei claimed her blue hair resulted from an accident. (You didn't expect to get some info on her there of all places, right?)

Gendo used a slightly different plan on Jet Alone.

Thanks for all of the reviews, follows, and favorites so far!


	10. Asuka Strikes!

Chapter 8

 _I know girls, like Rei and Hikari. I have friends, like Toji and Kensuke. I don't have both in one person. Rei… she's my sister, much more than a friend. I imagine what it'd be like to have Hikari as a friend. She's sorta bossy. I don't like bossy people, but Hikari's also nice under that exterior. Maybe she'll become my friend._

 _I wonder about this new pilot. They mentioned a "she", so I know the pilot's a girl. Maybe we'll become friends. I really hope she could become buddies with Rei. Sis doesn't have any girls for a friend, just us guys. The new pilot's not from here, so can she speak my language?. Rei mentioned she was German. Huh, I guess my foreign language studies might finally pay off. I've never seen a German before. I wonder if she's cute… Oh, I shouldn't have such dirty thoughts. I'd kill someone if they thought of Rei that way._

 _I wonder when I'll meet Unit 02's pilot. Maybe tomorrow? Misato mentioned something about a field trip last night, a boy's only field trip with just me and my buds. Something about a helicopter too…_

* * *

"Misato, let's go over this one more time." Shinji's hand twitches, though neither of them notices.

"Yeah, yeah… I can only drink one beer. I shouldn't let anything weird me out. Also, no jokes about your girlfriend being your girlfriend."  
"Misato!" He blushes. _That's so… ew._  
"You are so easy to tease, Shinji." She snorts. "Watcha making for us anyway?"  
Shinji focuses back on his cooking. "Just wait and you'll find out."

Someone knocks on the door. Shinji checks his watch. _Yep, on the very second, she's on time._

Misato opens the door. "Hello, Rei! How ya doing?"  
In contrasts with the woman's passionate tone, Rei says, "Fine, Captain Katsuragi."  
"Come inside! Don't be so dull too."  
"I am unable to follow your order."

Shinji shakes his head and smiles. This'll be a very odd night, but it still might turn out alright.

"Greetings, Shinji. I am honored to eat with you and Captain Katsuragi."  
"Hey, I'm glad to."  
"Come on, Rei." Misato tugs at her arm playfully. "Let's have some girl talk while Shinji wraps up dinner."  
"Are we not talking now?"  
"Ug, let's go to the living room."

As they leave the kitchen, Rei glances back at Shinji. He sees it in her eyes; she's confused. He motions for her to go on. _It'll be alright, Rei._ She nods.

* * *

"So," says Captain Katsuragi. She reclines in the couch, but Rei sits up straight. "How close are you to Shinji?"

"I am separated by a room, as are you."  
She shakes her head. "No, relationships!"  
"We are friends, and he is my family." Rei cocks her head. Why would Major Katsuragi ask questions she already know the answer to?  
"Yeah," she sighs as if in defeat. "Cousins and all of that. What side of the family are you from?"  
"Commander Ikari's side."  
"Huh, dull family reunions, right?"  
"I and the Ikaris are the only surviving members."  
The major cringes. "Oh…"  
"I am fortunate to have befriended Shinji."  
"Yeah, it makes sense, you two being pilots and all."  
Rei narrows her eyes. "Captain." She suppresses the urge for any more physical movement.  
"Call me Misato," Captain Katsuragi interrupts.  
"Misato." Her tone sounds… It's not annoyed, perhaps a bit displeased. "Shinji remains the only person who attempted to befriend me without a prompt. Our designation as pilots were non-factors in his decision."  
"Are you sure you're just friends?" Major Katsuragi laughs and shifts closer to Rei on the couch. "You really are worked up when defending him."  
"As I stated before, we are family." _Twins, to be precise, though you do not know that, captain._

For a minute neither says anything. The woman seems to be suffering some form of torture due to the silence. She shifts her position several times while her legs bob up and down. Rei does not move.

Pilot Ikari walks into the living room carrying three platefuls off food. He sets it on the table, and Rei notes that all are vegetarian. Major Katsuragi rushes to the table. The Third Child pulls out a chair and motions for Rei to sit. She does, so he pushes it in for her. Then, he sits as well.

They proceed to eat, though eating does not properly describe the situation. As if a machine, Rei takes each individual bite with the utmost precision and care. Her brother made her this meal, so she does nothing to jeopardize the food's effect on her taste buds. Pilot Ikari eats, much like a normal but well-behaved boy of his age. The major shovels the food into her mouth and compliments the meal the entire time. When finished, she gulps down a beer.

"Shinji?" she asks. "Can I have another?"  
"No."  
"Please?"  
"No."  
She turns her attention to another target. "Rei, what do you think?"  
"I defer to Shinji."  
"Arg! You two are the most humdrum people in Japan." She crosses her arms and pouts.  
He laughs. "And you won't get any more beers tonight, Misato."

Rei looks at pilot Ikari and Major Katsuragi. _What is their level of relationship? One would assume that they would share a commander-subordinate comradery, but this is different. In many ways, he acts as the caretaker. Perhaps the major fulfills the role of an elder sister, but I am unaware of what that entails. I should observe an older sister interact with her sibling for further data._

Rei feels a peck on her foot. She looks down and sees a penguin standing next to her feet.

"Greetings, avian."  
"Wark." He gawks at the newcomer to the Katsuragi household.  
"Oh, he's Pen Pen," says the woman. "He's a-"  
"Warm-water penguin. I am Rei Ayanami, Pen Pen."  
"Wark." He eyes her in a manner far too suspicious for a normal bird. He looks at pilot Ikari then back at Rei. After completing a physical action akin to a shrug, he trots into the kitchen where his dish and fish await.

 _Should I inform Commander Ikari that this penguin may have surmised my relation to the Third Child?_

* * *

The blue waters below rest in a peaceful lull. Like space, the ocean remains something man can only pass through, going to islands or continents. They fly over a small fishing boat. The owner takes sustenance from the sea and, in turn, feeds the people of Japan. They pass a flock of seagulls. Those birds too only pass through the ocean and base their livelihoods upon it. Shinji smiles. Under different circumstances, this'd actually be serene.

"Wow! A Mig-55D transport helicopter!" Shinji has never seen his friend more excited before. Even when talking about his Eva or battling Angels, his camera-wielding comrade still held some composure. This time, he's like a kid in a candy store. "I never thought I'd have the chance to fly in one of these hot mammas!" _Hot mammas?_ "Man, it's really great to have an important friend like you, right Shinji?"

Shinji opens his mouth to reply over the helicopters propellers, but Misato turns around from her front seat. "I thought you must be getting sick of being cramped up in the mountains, so I thought it'd be kinda nice to invite you guys out on a date." _I wish Rei was here, but someone has to be on standby. I don't think she'd be able to enjoy this either, knowing she left me behind. Hell, she wouldn't enjoy this at all. It's too… tumultuous._

"What? Are you sayin' this's really a date we're having, Misato?" _Hikari would be so pissed to hear you right now, Toji._ "And I bought this cap especially for today, just for you. I'll never take it off."

Shinji shakes his head. Would he look this bad too if he was head over heels for a girl? "So, where are we going?" He doesn't hide his boredom. Kensuke's been raving about military stuff while Toji tries every trick available to impress a Misato. Neither has been fun to hear.

"Oh, we're just taking a little cruise on that cute boat down there." She smiles, a certain type of smile. _Oh crap, she planned something!_

As if on cue, the clouds below them part, revealing the largest military armada in the world.

"Oh my gods!" screams Kensuke. "Five aircraft carries and four battleships. What a fleet!"  
"That's your cute little boat?" _Did you actually think Misato was taking us on a cruise ship, Toji?_  
"She's gorgeous. That's the pride of the UN Combined Fleet, the supercarrier Over the Rainbow. It's the last aircraft carrier built before the Second Impact." _He could ramble just about its stats for an hour… Oh, that'd suck so much._

Shinji squints from the sun's glare as they land. Kensuke rants about the boat using _cool_ every other word. His brain might be overloading…

 _Wait. Why would this fleet be here unless…_ As they step out of the helicopter, Shinji looks in every direction for some sign of Evangelion. He spies a transport boat with a massive sheet covering… _Unit 02. We came out here to meet the pilot._ He glances at Misato, stretching her back and groaning. _I guess she wants me, or that pilot, to have more friends. That's nice._

Toji almost nocks over the brown haired boy. He scrambles behind the hat that he swore he'd never take off.

"Stop. Damn you! That's my special hat!" He sounds worried, way too worried over a simple hat.

A red shoe squashes the white and black hat, a girl's shoe. Shinji's gaze rises up past two pretty legs and a yellow sundress. She has one arm on her hip, as if cross. The other one hangs by her side. He focuses on her smirking face. Her red hair blows freely in the wind held back only by her neural clips. Her eyes look intense, as if analyzing enemies. Blue. Her eyes are blue, like Rei's hair.

"Well hallo, Misato. How have you been?" _She knows Misato already?_ Her German accent slips through a bit, and it sounds a bit arrogant, though it might just be the pronunciation.  
"Just fine. Goodness, you've grown some, haven't you?"  
"Uh huh! And I'm not just taller. My figure has filled out as well." She seems especially proud about that last part.  
"Let me introduce you. This's the designated pilot of Eva Unit 02, the Second Child. Asuka Langley Sohryu." _Japanese and English names for a German? What?_

A strong gust of wind forces its way by. Asuka's sundress flaps into the air giving a perfect view almost all the way to her chest. While her fit body is unquestionably… lovely for Shinji to see, he can't help but remember that embarrassing incident with Rei.

"Sorry!" he screams.

Three smacks follow his apology, one of which lands on his cheek. "Idiots!" she says.  
"What did you do that for?" Toji shakes in anger.  
"That's the viewing fee. Quite a bargain, don't you think?" She turns her attention to Shinji. "Oh, apology accepted to the one with at least some manners."  
"It's overpriced, but that's alright. Here's your change!"

Toji pulls down his pants. Perhaps on purpose, perhaps due to fate… it doesn't matter. For some reason, the jock's boxers come down with his pants. Asuka looks horrified.

"Stop that, Toji!" Shinji steps in front of his friend to make some barrier between his nudity and the girl. He'd do the same for Rei anyway.

"Ha! I don't need your help." Asuka regains her composure. She flicks her hair back in a haughty manner. "It's not like was much to see anyway. My pinky is bigger than that."

Half way through pulling his pants up, Toji freezes. His face becomes redder than Asuka's hair. The girl doesn't seem to care, satisfied with the last laugh. She walks around the two up to Misato.

"So, which one is the famous Third Child? Oh nein…" She turns her gaze to Toji. "Not him!"  
"Don't worry. It's him." She points to Shinji.  
She squints. "Hmm, not much to look at, but you're less of a perv than most boys."  
"Thanks?" he says not knowing if that was an insult or a compliment.  
"You're welcome, Third."

 _Well, she complemented me. That's a start._

* * *

The Admiral makes odd noises, as if he's mulling over his situation. Shinji already doesn't like the man. Perhaps it's that he's the fattest man he's seen in the crew. Maybe it's his looks, as if sees himself as an adult among a word of children. It could also be his mustache. It's such a horrible looking mustache.

"NERV…" he says while inspecting Misato's ID card. "From your antics on the deck, I was quite sure you were the leader of this Boy Scout troop, but obviously I was mistaken." _It looks like I was right to not like this guy._  
"Thank you for all of your gracious hospitality, Admiral." She can keep a great poker face, but Misato must be furious on the inside. _How often have I annoyed her without knowing? Nah, Misato's pretty open with me._  
"Oh no, thank you for giving me the opportunity to babysit so many more children." Shinji could just about see his sarcasm.  
"And we thank you for the transport of Eva Unit 02." She takes some papers out of her folder. "Here are the specifications of the emergency power supply."  
"You've wasted a trip. I'd never approve of any requests to activate that toy while at sea in the first place!"  
"Think of it as being prepared for an emergency. The Eva is quite valuable, sir." _Still keeping up the mask, Misato?_  
"So valuable that the entire pacific fleet has to be pulled for guard duty? Exactly when did the UN recondition us into a bloody cargo service?"  
His first mate speaks up. "I believe it was just after a certain organization was established."  
"Guarding a toy! What a ridiculously grandiose assignment for the entire Pacific Fleet!" The Admiral appears as though he'd throw them all overboard if he could. _He's European in descent. I can't tell anything more specific from his accent. German because Asuka? Maybe American or English? Bah, it doesn't matter._

Shinji glances at Asuka. Either she's used to the Admiral's asshole personality, or she's just as good at hiding her emotions. Right now, she acts like a happy, polite girl. He rubs his cheek. She's, of course, neither of those.

"It's not enough considering the importance of the Eva." She hands him another paper. "Sign these transfer documents please."  
"Not until we reach port. That blasted machine and its pilot have been entrusted to us by the Third Branch in Germany. You can't just waltz in and do what you please, Captain Katsuragi. The ocean is our jurisdiction. You will follow our orders here." He emphasizes her rank.  
"I understand." Her eye twitches. "However, I can tell you that in an emergency, NERV's military authority overrides yours."

Shinji smiles. She still put the Admiral in his place. He's an old man grasping at the last wisps of an older era. _I guess this means NERV is the world's superpower? Am I the world's newest weapon of mass destruction? I guess so. How strange. Ug, more responsibility._

He hears a new voice. "Well, you're just as gallant as ever."  
"Kaji!" Asuka squeals.

Shinji turns. A man with a ponytail saunters out of the doorway. One hand rests his pocket; the other waives. He has a perfect grin on his stubbly face and he never bothered to straighten out his tie. _Who is that guy and what is he doing here?_

He hears something fall. He sees Misato's folder on the ground. She appears close to barfing.

 _So, Misato knows both Asuka and this dude too? Why?_

* * *

"How are you doing, Rei?"

"Fine, Commander."

Rei sits at a circular table. Spaced at one hundred and twenty degrees, the other chairs contain the head of NERV and the head of its research division. Doctor Ritsuko inhales on her cigarette again. The Commanders drink creates condensation on the exterior, for he has yet to touch his cold beverage.

They are alone, since NERV's private restaurant does not upon for three more hours. This did not stop the Commander from exercising his authority to dine early.

"I heard you made friends."  
"Yes, the prospective pilots have grown accustomed to me."  
"What about that girl… Horaki?"  
"Yes, but we have only become acquainted. She has hidden emotion towards Suzuhara."  
"Suzuhara… Why did you transfer his sister to our facilities?"  
"It provided a solid mental benefit to the Third Child."  
"I see."

He takes a sip, at last. The doctor crushes the butt of her cigarette into the ash tray.

"Oh Rei?" the faux blonde asks. "How do you view our efforts with Jet Alone?"  
"We eliminated a drain on our resources without casualties. Success."  
"Does he suspect anything?"  
"No, nor has Misato told him."  
"That still surprises me." She pauses to chuckle. "Oh well. Anyway, I take it my plan has been working?"  
"Yes, I have grown closer to pilot Ikari."  
"Good girl."

The Commander takes another sip and adjusts his glasses.

"Rei, one other thing."  
"Yes, Commander?"  
"I suggest you learn German, specifically hearing it spoken."  
"Understood."  
"Start with foul language. Also, you don't need my permission to eat."  
"Oh."

She picks up some rice with her chopsticks and swallows.

 _Be safe, brother. Make it back before the Angel appears, please._

* * *

Before the door could close, the Mr. Kaji guy ran up and stopped the door. He and Asuka, who seems latched onto his left arm, then squeezed inside the elevator as the fifth and sixth passenger. Its max capacity must be three though.

Shinji's face squishes into Misato's… um, breasts. There's nothing he can do to move back. Toji and Kensuke are in his way. Hell, the only two who look happy are Kensuke and Mr. Kaji.

"What are you even doing here?" Due to all of her anger, she doesn't notice the boy who's pressed into her chest. Either that or she doesn't give a damn.  
"Accompanying her," he says. "I'm on a business trip of sorts." _What kinda business do you do?_  
"Talk about careless, I should've anticipated something like this."  
"Hey!" both Misato and Asuka scream. "Watch where you're touching!" _Oh shit! Sorry!_  
"I can't help it!" both Mr. Kaji and Toji say. _There's four of us here and one of us is an adult, but how am I the most mature male?_

* * *

They went into the mess hell. The place is so boring, but at least Kaji's here. He didn't accept her yesterday, but… but he was just being super polite! That's the reason!

That perverted, dumb kid sits across from her. He practically drools onto Misato. The nerdy one seems a few minutes from falling asleep. All the running around and filming must've tired out his tiny little nerd muscles. She sits next to Kaji who sits across from Misato. He's paying way too much attention to her. Doesn't he know how lazy she is at home? She was her guardian for a couple months, though she was the best, except for Kaji of course. He's the best guardian and will be the best husband.

Oh, and the Third Child sits on her other side. He's wide awake, yet he has the gall to not sneak glances at her. In fact, he seems focused on the two adults. Why? Isn't she worth watching too? Not that he's anything to look at anyway. She could've beaten him in an arm wrestling contest, at six no less.

"So, do you have a boyfriend right now?" he asks Misato.  
"I don't think it's any of your business." She crosses her arms. _You're right, Misato. It is none of his business. His business is ME._  
"I'm hurt. Ow." _Oh, stop flirting already!_ "So." He looks around Asuka to the Third. "I heard you're living with Katsuragi now." _Scratch that wish. Continue flirting. Don't bother with him! Better yet, look at me, Kaji! Wait… He's living with Misato? Why?_  
"Yeah?" he says just as confused as Asuka. Why would Kaji bothers to ask him anything?  
"Tell me something. Is she still… so wild in bed?"

 _Oh mien Gott im Himmel! Nein, nein, nein! My Kaji had… he did… with her!_

She doesn't notice the twisted look of horror on her face. The man she loves was once in a relationship with Misato, the woman who'll be directing her in all of her upcoming victories? Fate can be so cruel to her!

Misato slams her fists down on the table knocking over the tea and coffee. "What are you implying with that?"  
Without being phased at all, Kaji says to the Third, "No, she hasn't changed at all, has she, Shinji?"  
"I guess?" he says. "How do you know my name?"  
"Well, I ought to know you. You're pretty famous in the defense business. Well, for those who have enough clearance… You are the Third Child who piloted his first combat mission with no combat training!" _I never heard such praise from you, Kaji! Why? Why!_  
"Oh, I was just, um, lucky." _Idiot, accept the praise. I don't want my rival to be someone who's just lucky._  
"Then luck is a part of your destiny. It's your talent." He stands up. "Well, I'll see you later."

Asuka follows the love of her life out of the mess hall onto to the deck. He pauses to overlook the ocean below. The boat cuts through the bland blue waters which makes it interesting to observe. Without Over the Rainbow, the ocean would be flat, inert. Instead, waves lap against the side of the deck. If someone fell overboard, then they'd be left behind in an instant… _Hmm,_ _I wonder if the Third can swim…_

"So." Kaji leans against the railings. "What do you think of Shinji Ikari?"  
Asuka props herself up on the rails. Her legs dangle in the sea breeze. "Oh, the oh-so-great Third Child? He's boring."  
"And yet, I just got his sync rates. It was well over 40% on his first time in an Eva. It hit 99% during his last battle."

Asuka can't move. She can't even breathe. Her left eye twitches uncontrollably. _He beat me? He's at 99%? Already! But he's an untrained, scrawny, pathetic little boy! I'm the one who has the training! How is he better than me!_

"Oh, the First reached that same level too during the same battle."

Asuka wants to cry. If it wasn't for that promise, she would. If Kaji wasn't here, she would. In a matter of a few seconds, her synchronization superiority went from first to a disgusting, pathetic last. There… there has to be a mistake, a glitch. Maybe they put in the wrong scores. If she can't reach anywhere that high, then he couldn't either. Right? Right!

"I gotta go, Kaji."

She sprints back to the mess hall. He can't be better than her, and she can't let him ever think that either. She steps onto an escalator, but she hears their voices coming from somewhere else. She runs back up and checks the other one. There they are. She looks down at the four.

"Hey, Third Child," she sneers. "You're coming with me."  
"Okay?"

She marches off forcing him to chase after her. He doesn't say anything, but she knows he's back there. She leads him to a small transport boat which takes them to her beautiful Eva. He sits two seats away from her, but they're the only passengers on the damn boat. He never bothers to look at her. _That self-absorbed Arschloch._

They're lifted up to the deck. Asuka takes hold of the sheet covering her Eva and lifts it up. _I'm better this way at least._

"That's a really interesting color. I didn't know it was red." _That's all you have to say?_  
"That's not all what's different about Unit 02."

She stands in front of her unit, the best one. With a hand on each hip, she boasts, "Unit 00 and 01 were the prototype and test type respectively. The fact that Unit 01 synced so well with you means it must be broken; however, Unit 02 is a little different. My unit is the first real Evangelion! Created for actual combat conditions, it's the first production model."  
"Oh, good."  
She glares at him. "That's all you have to say?"  
"Um, it's the best Eva? I don't know what else to say if we both know it's the best."  
"How the Hell is someone so boring able to sync so well? I've seen rotten fruit more interesting than you."  
"Uh…" He scratches his head. "I just had to win, you know? It's only during combat I sync well." He chuckles. "Combat's still the only time I generate AT fields."

 _Oh! So maybe mine will be much higher when I fight Angels too! That explains everything._

Both pilots almost fall into the pool of LCL around the Eva.

"An undersea shockwave?" She grabs his wrists. "Come on!" She drags the wimp to the railings. Something must be wrong, and it is. A destroyer explodes. The boats shoot at some undersea creature or machine.

"An Angel," the Third whispers.  
"A real one?" _This is my chance!  
_ "This's really bad. We gotta go back and find Misato."  
"Are you a baka? We're meters away from my Eva!"

Still holding his wrist, she drags him to her bag. Kaji was so smart when he told her to leave it by her Eva! _Now, where to change? He's still a boy, so he'd gawk at me despite his manners._ Towing him along, she looks for anything with an unlocked door. Instead, she finds a stairway. It's close enough.

"Just wait here a second," she says.  
"Why?"  
"Because I'm about to be naked!"  
"Oh." He blushes. _Good._

She stands under the stairs almost shaking in excitement. She rips off her dress, bra, and panties. Like hundreds of times before, she slips into her plugsuit. Not once does he peek. _Am I not pretty enough to peek at? Jerk._ She takes a breath. "Let's go, Asuka." _It's time to prove I'm the best._

She takes out her spare suit. She finds the Third sitting there like a well-behaved schoolboy and tosses the plugsuit at him. He stares at it, not knowing what to do.

"Well, come on!" she yells. His eyes open wide, realizing what she wants him to do. "Don't just stand there. Get moving!" _Yes, I sync higher than you, I'll know it's just me not being in combat yet and not being in a stupid old model._

He runs under the same stairway. In just a few seconds, he runs back up, trying to stretch out the fabric around his groin the entire time. _I'll have to throw that one away when we're done._

"I'm getting in with you?"  
"Do you think it's safer out here than with me?" She ejects the entry plug.  
"Does Misato know about this?"  
"I'll get her permission after the fact."

She climbs in. He does too a few seconds later.

"Um, where do you want me to sit?"  
"Stand back there, but don't get any perverted ideas!"  
"I won't."

The entry plug inserts itself into her Eva.

"LCL Fullung. Anfang der Bewegung. Anfang des Nervenanschlusses. Auslosung von Linkskliegung. Synchro-start, nun **!** "

Her Eva tries to start, but it fails and flashes red warnings.

"I can't think in German!" At least he knows about some of the Eva's odd quirks.  
"Switch language to Japanese. Evangelion Unit 02, go!"

Within seconds, the Admiral yells at them over the comms to power down, but Misato screams out encouragement through the same channel. _Ha! As if either of them could affect what I'm about to do._

"Hey, uh, isn't this B-type equipment? If we fall into the ocean, we're done for."  
"Then we won't do that."

Asuka jumps off from the boat seconds before it's cut in half by the Angel. _Ha! You would've died on that boat, Third. I saved your life already._ She lands on a destroyer, able to bear their weight an instant before it'd sink. "Where's the Angel?"  
"That way." She turns her head before he points in that direction. "We've got just 58 seconds!"  
"I know. Misato!" She left the communication channel open for a reason. "Get the umbilical cable on the flight deck." She smirks. _Time to show off._ "Third, have you ever played hopscotch?"  
"What?"

With each calculated jump, she lands on the ships which smashes their exterior hull each time. She hopes someone's recording this, because it'd look awesome.

"Eva Unit 02, coming in for landing!" She keeps her balance as the aircraft carrier rocks back and forth from her impact. Most of the planes fall off, but this boat won't sink from her weight. It's like a boxing ring. Now, all she waits for her opponent to show his ugly ass.

"Angel at 9 o'clock!" _At least he's being a good lookout._  
"Switching to external power." With seven seconds to spare, they've got their power. The Angel will reach them in moments.  
"We don't have any guns."  
"The Progressive Knife ought to do it." _Let's gut ourselves a fish!_  
"It's gigantic." With just its topside surfacing, the opponent already dwarfs her Eva.  
"The bigger they are…" She takes out her knife.

The Angel leaps out of the water and onto the boat. She can't get a good look at its features, but it's tan and nasty.

She drops her knife and wrestles with its head, the Angel's only weapon except for its size. _Maybe I can twist it off._ The deck under het footing collapses. They tumble overboard with the Angel. Like a cowboy at a rodeo, she clenches onto the enemy while it thrashes around. It swims through buildings, remnants of some coastal city that got flooded. _Yeah, give yourself a headache while I take a ride._

Asuka gets jerked back. They're out of cable. "Verdamt." She tries to move, but it's like moving through wet cement.  
"B-type equipment." Shinji sounds hopeless. What a wimp.  
"Then do something with that 99%!"  
"What?"  
"Baka! You can sync too!" _Plus, everyone will see I'll have the higher sync score._ She feels another presence. Scared, lonely, and… horny? Pervert!  
"What do we do?" he asks.

Before she could answer, the Angel opens its mouth. Rows upon rows of teeth glisten in the light. Behind all of the teeth lies its core. It clamps down on the Eva. Asuka clenches her stomach. _It's not real pain! I haven't been stabbed through my stomach!_

Something pushes her arms away. The Third crashed onto her lap! "Get off me you pervert!" She tries to shove him off, but he points ahead.  
"Stop that!" _Now, he's showing some spine?_ "We have to destroy the core!"  
"We don't have any weapons."

The jaws clamp down tighter. Both of the pilots scream in more pain from the razor sharp teeth.

"Teeth!" they exclaim together unable to say more from the tabs in their torso. _We have to use the teeth!_

The Third and Second use all their might to take hold of a loose looking tooth. Inhaling sharp breaths and screaming in agony, they pull back with their left arm until it breaks free. They jab their arm foreword and pierce the core. The core glows.

 _It's gonna explode!  
AT Field, baka!_

They surround themselves with the orange shield the instant the Angel self-destructs. Her Eva launches upwards like a torpedo. They soar through the heavens before landing on Over the Rainbow's deck. Neither can stand, so Unit 02 collapses onto the ground and depowers. The cable got blown off during the explosion.

Still on her lap, the Third clenches his stomach.

"You're fine. Get off me!"  
He rolls off.  
"Was that?"  
"You're thoughts?"

They look at each other. She brushes herself off where Shinji touched.

"Horny pervert."  
"Sorry."  
"Ug, let's get outa here."  
"We're out of power. They'll have to do it manually." He sits up in front of her.  
"Scheisse. If you touch me, Third, I'll kill you."  
He holds his hands up, as if in surrender. "Trust me. I won't."  
She crosses her arms and makes an exaggerated, annoyed expression. "Oh, so I'm worth lusting over but not worth touching?"  
"What? No! I… It's not polite, and I don't want you to not like me. We're teammates now, right?"  
"Unfortunately, yeah; however, I could do it all myself. Just be glad I allowed you the honor of killing an Angel with me."

He shakes his head, but doesn't say anything back. Asuka scoots to the side opposite of Shinji. _I hope we can get out soon._

It takes almost one damn, boring, long hour. One hour! She sat in there with a person who might as well have been a living sack of potatoes. After their initial conversation, he said nothing at all. When they opened up, they were already in harbor. In fact, NERV had to fly in equipment just to get them out.

They had no opportunity shower, so the LCL will cake onto her hair and take hours of effort to get out. The stupid Third seems more concerned by his lack of clothes though. Who cares? He should to be glad that she allowed him to touch her stuff.

As they step off the ship and onto an escalator, her eyes open wide. This is Japan. She's never been here before, but Mama had many times. It's a strange people with strange customs and a strange writing system. She doesn't pay much attention to those two perverts who stare at her beautiful Eva. _They're ogling at it too. Gross._

She hears them laugh. One shouts, "Nice figure!" She turns around prepared to defend her honor from the human swine, but they gawk at the Third. He tries to cover himself up with his hands as they mock him. _The Third annoys me, and he has a higher sync ratio, but he sure knows how to choose lousy friends. Still, they set themselves up for this one…_

"Nerd! Pinky!" Both boys stop laughing and turn to her. The jock in particular looks enraged, due to her pinky comment of course. "On top of being perverts, I didn't know you liked boys THAT way too!"

Asuka turns around as their faces turn redder than her plugsuit. She sees Misato and some blonde wearing a lab coat. They're driving off in a jeep. _Kaji wasn't on board because he would've greeted me. Misato would know._

"Wait!" she calls out sprinting down. She knocks her hands against the jeeps hood. "Where's Kaji?"  
Misato's face twists in anger at the mention of his name. "He took off in a jet in the middle of the god damned battle. He's probably back at headquarters by now!"  
"He left me?" _He rejects me, then he leaves me? Why? There… there must be a reason. He'd know why. He'll tell me when I see him._  
"Here's something you'd like," the blonde says. "Oh, I'm Ritsuko Akagi, head of NERV's research division. You broke your sync record." _Oh, my theory about combat is true. Good._  
"How high?"  
"Seventy-two percent. Shinji was close too. It hovered around sixty during the end."  
"Wonderful. Soon, I'll be number one in sync scores again!"

* * *

"She may have looked cute, but she was a real bitch." Toji still hasn't gotten over the pinky comment. He begged Shinji several times never to mention it.

"Well, at least we won't see her again." Kensuke puts his video camera away. Class's about to start.  
"Yeah, but Shinji'll be seeing her a bunch, right Shin-man?"  
"Yeah? She wasn't that bad…"

 _There was something off about her. I talked to Rei about it. She hypothesized that we were syncing with the Eva and each other which explained the thought noise of hers. I still felt her emotions though, just a few and just for a bit. She felt… lonely I guess. It must be a curse of the Eva. We're forced to be pretty lonely people. But I have Rei, and she has me. Plus, there's Toji and Kensuke. I know Asuka doesn't have any friends yet, but I don't think she'll like Rei much. Ug, I don't know if I should stay far away from her or become her friend._

The door opens. Toji falls out of his seat. Kensuke looks close to tears. Shinji feels his heart skip a beat.

There she is, that girl. His teammate and co-destroyer of the last Angel. She strides on up to the blackboard with every boy but Shinji staring… not at her face. She pushes her hair back and writes her name on the board, using Western writing instead of Kanji.

She giggles. "Hello! I'm Asuka Langley Sohryu. Charmed, huh? I'm the pilot for Eva Unit 02!"

Toji and Kensuke glance at their friend. He gulps. This'll do it. Even the dumb students will connect the dots. Now, everyone will know both he and Rei pilot the Eva. Then, she'll be hackled by the mass of students. _Thanks a shitton, Second._

Hikari stands up and bows. In a polite tone, she says, "It is a pleasure to meet an Evangelion pilot. Thank you for stating your identity to us, and please relay our gratitude to the other pilots, whoever they are."  
Asuka's eyebrows crunch together for just a moment. Then, she nods. "Of course! Though, they're so dull. Those old fuddy duddies don't know how to be glamorous or interesting like me!"

Shinji smiles. He'll have to thank Hikari for her quick thinking and Asuka for being able to adapt the lie. He glances at Rei's empty seat. She'll still be safe.

 _Maybe I was wrong about Asuka. It's too bad the girls can't meet yet. I have to make sure they'll become friends… Why won't they tell me what Rei's doing? All she said was, "No harm will come to me, but it is classified. I will see you on Friday at the normal time and location."_

He glances at the redhead. She took a seat close by his. She looks back at him. He nods; she smirks in return.

* * *

Misato's voice: "When a disastrous battle proves that Asuka and Shinji need to work on their ability to function as a team, Misato works out a plan to make their dysfunctions functional. Plus, the two girls finally get to meet! What could possibly go wrong? Drama ensues in the next exciting chapter, and of course there's going to be lots of fan service!"

* * *

Author's notes: I always held respect for this episode. The way they integrated Asuka and Kaji into the storyline was pretty much flawless in my opinion… So I had to repeat those results. To be honest, I was pretty much done writing this chapter four days ago, but I kept on coming back and tweaking it. In fact, Rei's dinner (and "introduction" to Misato) was only put in yesterday. I'm glad I did though.

Speaking about Rei, I hope I confused you a bit with her dinner with Gendo and Ritsuko. I said and insinuated a lot there.

Oh, before anyone could question what the Hell was happening between Asuka and Shinji during their combat with the Angel, I'll use their higher sync scores as an excuse. "But!" you say. "Asuka shouldn't have such a high sync score because she hasn't been affected by your POD!" Nah, she really wanted a higher sync score, so she got it from Unit 02. "Bah," you complain. "You gave Shinji and Rei such a stupidly high sync scores, especially this early in the series, just to affect Asuka." No again. Their sync scores had nothing to do with affecting the spitfire.

"Just please don't make this a Shinji x Asuka pairing fanfiction," some of you say. "It's so much fun to see the twin's interaction and a sideplot like that would be a distraction." Point taken, but I'll let their relationship evolve according to however the characters would act. In other words, I won't try to force anything on them. For example, Rei and Misato's conversation in this chapter was basically me letting the characters saying whatever they wanted to. Shinji and Asuka remain the only thing I'm not sure about. (I ironed out the ending, and I'm stoked about it! Now, I can start putting less vague foreshadowing in, because that crap's fun.)

Oh, here's a teaser for the next chapter. There's going to be a new POV character in it. I watched the episode (something I always do before I write anything in its prospective chapter) and decided that he/she would be the only one who could convey the gist of the scene. Why am I telling you this? Well, I stated that only pilots are POV characters, so I feel dishonest whenever I don't.

Thank you for all of your reviews (I really do appreciate them) and your continuous (hurray!) supply of favorites and follows.

Replies to comments:  
Traitor of All Traitors, I'm glad to see that my last chapter kept up enough quality. It was a bit different from my other ones.  
PrometheusDark, it's good to see you think Shinji and Rei are staying believable. It's also great to see that I've kept an Asushin fan interested in a fanfic that hadn't had the two even meet (until this chapter). I ended up smashing her pride with a jackhammer only to immediately build it back up again. I figured that'd be what Asuka would do. She was still infatuated with Kaji after the night he rejected her, so I figured she'd make excuses.  
Freadi, well… Now, Asuka's here! Because she's Asuka, everyone will become quite aware of that fact too.  
Guest, thanks for the compliment. Hopefully, this chapter has (or surpassed) the writing quality of my previous chapter. Also, I've never been fond of writing in past tense, but I honestly don't know why. I forced myself to like writing in third person, so maybe I could do so as well for past tense. Additionally, I find how you view the three protagonists interesting. Lastly, yeah… One of my least favorite things for me to see as a reader is those fanfics where the writer clearly stops giving a crap. I can say that I really want to know what happens next in my story, and I have to do is type it out. (I've been getting much more efficient at writing these chapters too which'll help.)

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

Rei had dinner at the Katsuragi household.  
Shinji had a better introduction with Asuka.  
Asuka and Shinji had a bit of mental "sharing" during their battle.  
They defeated the Angel with its own tooth instead of two friggen' battleships getting shoved into its mouth.  
Asuka revealed her identity immediately to the class but (with Hikari's sharpness) kept the other two's a secret.


	11. Moment, Heart, Together

Chapter 9

 _I have no desire for a mate which provides a definite benefit. Thoughts and actions achieve their highest functioning without carnal influences. My brother does have those desires. He never told me; however, simple biology guarantees it, and his actions certify that he does. Though, he mutes his desires towards me due to his history with Rei Ikari and social stigma against these actions. I find that fortunate._

 _I wish the SECOND CHILD was male. Pilot Ikari would thus not have to deal with those urges with a fellow pilot. Now, he will be further confused. He sees one pilot as a beloved sister and the other as a potential mate. I have seen HER documentation. SHE would not provide a benefit to the Third Child by entering into any form of intimate relationship. While I will not force my will on either, I will protect my brother if SHE does anything to harm his mental or physical wellbeing._

* * *

Asuka steps into the room and surpassed the urge to laugh. The room's big, like a city block, but only a damn desk adorns the place. To weak minded people, they'd cower at the ominous appearance, but Asuka is anything but weak minded. She thinks the desk and its occupant look more like an idiot who set up a hotdog stand in the middle of the friggen' desert.

The symbols are a bit odd though, art in such an otherwise lifeless room. Who'd put them on the floor and coiling anyway? She recognizes one as the Star of David. The other is… What could it be? Oh, the Kabbalah Tree of Life thingy. That's two Jewish symbols. _Is the Commander Jewish?_

"Second Child." His cold voice echoes in the room. _He probably designed it this way._ Light from the windows behind him cast a shadow around his form.

"Sir." She bows, the polite thing to do. She'd rather not be here, but he is the head of NERV. Getting on his good side would provide so many benefits.

"Come forward." _Damn. At least Scrawny Third doesn't sound like an asshole._

Asuka takes calculated steps towards the Commander until she stops two meters in front of his desk. She straightens a rumple out of her skirt to distract herself. That face looks… unsettling. He wears orange-tinted sunglasses in a dark room while he has his hands curled up in front of his mouth. It's like looking at a masked man. While under his gaze, Asuka wouldn't mind it if she looked less beautiful.

"I've heard your pilot status is common knowledge."  
"Yes, sir."  
"But the unknown status of the other two were not compromised."  
"Yes, sir."  
"And your living accommodations are adequate?"  
"Yes, sir." _Better yet, I'm living alone just as all other mature adults do. Wait. Did I just give him too much sass in my tone on that one? I think he raised his eyebrows._  
"I expect you to do well. Dismissed."

Asuka leaves the room glad that he didn't try to touch her anywhere. When the door closes, she breathes out a sigh. Gendo's reputation as an impersonal asshole seems to be understated. She shakes her head. _Oh well, that was a waste of time. Why'd he demand her presence? Men. Assholes, all of them, except Kaji of course._

She picks up her schoolbag from a chair and marches off to school.

 _Ug! Why are they making me go there? I graduated from college! Most of it was online, but I still don't need to go through everything again. They did put me in the same class with the other two pilots. Maybe they wanted my good influence to rub off on them because there certainly nothing good when I'm not there. I'm in a sea of floozies, perverts, and nobodies._

 _Scratch that. I haven't met the First Child yet. Maybe she's interesting. Hikari's nice too, good at small talk and runs a tight ship. Associating myself with the most powerful and feared person in the classroom only further establishes myself on the school hierarchy, number one, as it should be. Plus, she has a brain and keeps secrets. She figured out the other two's identities which further proves everyone else must be brain-dead._

Asuka arrives at the school premises after her long walk. Walking like that keeps her fit. She puts on her fake but perfect looking smile and waives at the adoring, male masses. The girls give her dirty glares because they aren't as good as her. _Genius? Check. Sexy as Hell? Check. A social mastermind? Check. A foreign lady who's an amazing Eva pilot? Absolutely!_

 _Oh, there's the Third._ "Hallo Shinji!" she calls out. "Guten Morgen!" Many students look at the pair. _Those idiots must be wondering why such a popular and beautiful woman would even be willing to speak with him._ _My job, though they don't know that. Plus, he better not think that he's a better pilot than me._

"Guten Morgen." _Huh, fast learner._ His shoulders slouch.  
"Hey, who so gloomy? I'm the most popular girl in school. You should appreciate your good fortune." She flicks his forehead. "Hey, that girl is here to, isn't she?"  
"Girl?"  
"What are you, stupid? I'm talking about Rei of course!"  
"Oh."

He looks away from her down to a courtyard. Asuka follows his gaze and sees the First Child. For some strange reason, she colored her hair blue. That and her short, raggedy hairstyle prove that she has no taste in good fashion. She sits on a bench all alone and reads some book.

"Asuka?"  
"Ja?"  
"Rei has a hard time interacting with people or expressing… anything." _Why am I the only normal Eva pilot?_

She shrugs and walks down the stairs to her target. She hops onto a wall next to the pilot and casts a shadow onto her book. Without looking, the girl shifts to the right to get away from the shadow. Asuka shifts and casts a shadow on the book again. The girl looks up. _Red eyes? Creepy._

"Hallo! You must be Rei Ayanami." She waits for a few seconds for the girl to reply, but she gives a blank stare instead. _You're a real talker, First._ "I'm Asuka. Asuka Langley Sohryu, the pilot of the first combat capable Evangelion! Let's be good friends!" A massive crowd of students watch the interaction.

"Why?" _Well, I got her to speak._  
"Because it'd be…" _Why would I want her as a friend? She has a higher sync score than me too. I can already tell she has the personality of the Berlin Wall. Why should we be friends?_ "Do you need a reason to be friends?"  
"Do you?" _Is she screwing with me? I'll be so pissed if she's screwing with me._  
"Sometimes."  
"I became friends with Shinji because he offered friendship. Students Aida and Suzuhara accepted me into their group which may qualify me as their friend as well."  
"All your friends are guys? No wonder you're so weird."  
"What method will you deploy to extend your offer of friendship?"  
"Popularity?"  
"I don't require status."  
"Arg, you're weirder than that baka!"

Asuka turns around and walks away.

"May I extend first?"

The redhead stops. She nods.

"Students Suzuhara and Aida have been selling photos of you for profit. You shouldn't stand so close to windows when changing."  
"Was zum Teufel!"

* * *

"Please don't kill us!" they scream in unison, true fear in their eyes. They beg on their knees painfully aware that no one else knows where they are.

Neither of them notices Shinji. He stands a few meters away, arms crosses and left eye twitching in anger. They forgot about him a minute after he stormed off, pissed beyond belief, after learning what they did.

Other than self-preservation instincts, the two boys have nothing on their mind except the furious form of Hikari Horaki. With a sneer and hands on her hip, she gives them a verbal lashing that would make even the harshest and most strict parents blush.

"You could be thrown in jail for this!" She stomps her foot on the torn remnants of their photos. "You will wish that you were in jail! What were you thinking? Taking all of these perverse, explicit photos? Kensuke!"  
"Y… y-y-yes, ma'am!"  
"I will personally see to it that you will never become an Eva pilot!"  
Kensuke doesn't say anything. He burst into tears and sobs.  
"Toji!"  
He nods.  
"How could you go along with this? How would you feel if someone did this to Sakura?"  
"I'd kill them!"  
"And was I in any of those locker room pictures?"  
All color drains from his face.  
"That does it! You're dead!"

"It looks like I'm late. You two were hard to find." The four look at the newcomer.  
"We got the photos destroyed, Asuka." Shinji's voice came out harsher than expected.  
"Was Hikari about to kill Pinky?"  
"Yeah. I take it you found out too?"  
"Rei." She walks in front of the two boys. "How much did you two make?"  
Neither responds, since both feel emotionally destroyed.  
"Give me all you got, and I'll call it even."

Hikari raises her eyebrows. "Really?"  
"I think you already screwed them up enough. They increased my beauty reputation, and now my graceful personality will be known to all since I'm being merciful!"

The alarms sound off. While the rest of the class runs to the nearest bunkers, three children sprint to the nearest section two vehicles.

* * *

 _We'll take turns. We just have to work together, but I'm not sure if I'm thrilled or scared that Rei can't be here. They had to upgrade the Eva today. The next week, she'll be out of combat. She's safe, but we make a great team. Asuka… She's so different._

 _At least we're fighting outside the city. We might avoid casualties here at the ocean's edge._

"This sucks. My first fight at Japan and she won't let me handle it solo. Why'd they have to bring you?" She doesn't sound happy.  
"We did well last time together."  
"Let me tell you one thing, Third Child. Don't get in my way," she growls.

They're dropped from the jets. The Evas land in the dirt, but Asuka's seems more graceful.

"Two against one is not a fair fight. It's not fair."

As Misato says something to that crazy redhead, Shinji plugs in the umbilical cable to his Eva. He has a gun; she has a spear. _A spear would've been helpful against that penis Angel._

Without warning, the Angel leaps from the water. It looks like Sachiel in many ways, but it's bigger and bulkier.

"I'll handle this one! Cover my back."  
"Cover you?"  
"Ja, ladies first."  
"Damn it! Don't act like that with lives on the line, rookie!"

Still, he complies. He fires a volley of bullets at the Angel. It doesn't move. Asuka lets out a battle cry and charges. Leaping from building to building, she builds up enough momentum to soars into the air. When she comes down, she swings her spear. The Angel gets sliced down the middle.

"Great job, Asuka!"  
"Ha! A fight should be clean and elegant."

The Angel rumbles. It's not dead.

 _Shit._

* * *

"Today at 10:58:15 AM, Unit 01 was attacked by one of the targets, Alpha, which had separated from the other target."

Even… what's her name… Maya! Even Lieutenant Ibuki sounds worried. She puts in the first slide. Unit 01's legs stick out of the water. If it wasn't a life or death type of thing, he'd laugh. No one in the darkened conference room looks like they're about to laugh, except Mr. Kaji, though he always looks that way.

"Twenty seconds later, Unit 02 was stopped by target Beta."

She shows the next slide. Asuka's unit lies in the exact same position, except she got shoved through land. It must've hurt more than him, but she's been furious ever since. _I don't blame her. We screwed up bad._

"I believe the project chairperson summed it up best."  
"This is pathetic!" complains Dr. Akagi. _How'd they get that voice recording?_

"This is all your fault!" Still in her plugsuit, Asuka stands up almost shaking in anger. "You totally screwed up my debut battle!"  
Shinji stands up to face her. "What are you talking about? We were supposed to be a team! Like me and Rei did!"  
"Team? How dare you suggest that you pathetic excuse for a combat pilot. You're just a jerk!"  
"Me? You were so determined to show off that you endangered everyone's lives!"  
"What was that?" She points at his Eva's embarrassing picture. "You look like a drowned rat!"

Maya interrupts them and puts in another slide. "NERV transferred the operation to the JSSDF who temporarily halted the Angel's with a N2 mine."  
"We've been completely humiliated." Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki may be considering firing them judging from his tone of voice. "And we'll have to redraw the map again. They blasted a circle of land into oblivion. And all of this is only temporary. I'd give us a couple days."  
Mr. Kaji speaks up sounding… not worried at all. "Well, at least it bought us time to regroup, and you can't ask for more than that."  
The Sub-Commander stands. "Alright you two, just what do you think your job is?"

Asuka and Shinji turn away from their glares of death at one another and to the adults. Without a moment's hesitation, Asuka says, "Piloting Eva?"  
"Wrong! It's to beat the Angels. NERV does not exist to make grotesque public spectacles like this; therefore, the two of you will learn to work together." _Shit. I… I can do this… to protect Rei. I must protect Rei… so this is… Screw it. This'll suck so much. She's too egotistical._

They turn their heads back to their fellow pilot. At the same time, they shout, "Why should we?"

He doesn't bother answering them. He presses a button, and his chair sinks beneath the floor, somehow.

"Why does everyone get so angry here?" She sounds hurt.  
"Adults have a thing about credibility." Her former guardian smirks.  
"Asuka?"  
"Yes, Third? Just be glad I still talk to you after what you did."  
"I'm gonna work with you even if it'll kill me."

He walks away before she responds, not the she could even if she had the chance.

* * *

"I'm home!" _Not that anyone's here of course. Misato must be up to her elbows in paperwork and… Moving boxes? What?_

He rushes to his bedroom, now missing the heart shaped sign saying "Shinji's lovely sweet", and sees it packed full of boxes upon boxes. "What?"  
"Don't be so rude. These are my personal belongings."  
"Asuka?" He watches her take a sip of her soda. "What in the blazes are you doing in my house?"  
"Why are you still here?"  
He tries not to look at her very short shorts. "Still here?"  
"Yeah, you've been dumped for the new model."  
"Fine!"

He marches over to his box of belonging. _I've got almost nothing._ "I wouldn't want to live with you anyway." _I'll miss Misato, but I'll move in with Rei. She wouldn't mind._  
"What do you mean by that?"  
"You're selfish."  
"What!"  
"My job's to save lives, like Rei's. That's where I'm going. She cares."  
Asuka squints and crushes her soda. "Girlfriend?"  
"Cousin."  
"When has that stopped you perverts before?"  
"She's my best friend."

"I it looks like you two are getting along already."  
"Misato!" They turn around at the smiling woman.  
"Good thing. You'll be getting along very well very soon."  
"What's that?" they say again in tandem.  
"It's part of your new training."

* * *

Asuka shakes her head. This plan stinks. It's stupid and it forces her to live with the Third!

"No way! A boy and a girl should never sleep under the same roof after the age of seven!"  
"The Angel is currently regenerating itself. It will begin its second assault in six days."  
"But, b-but…"

Misato explains the plan, but Asuka can't even bear to look at him. He'll drill holes in the bathroom to peak at her or… _No, he stopped those two pervert stooges from selling those photos. I'll be living in Hell, but I think he'll respect my privacy._

"Oh, and one other thing." Now, Misato looks worried. For all the time she's known this woman, she never showed this kind of worry easily. "This one came from the Commander himself and, um. Sorry you two. I really am."  
"What is it?" they say together. Fear twists inside her chest.  
"You're sharing your bedroom, forever."

Asuka runs into the bathroom and shuts the door. She turns on the sink and splashes water on her face again and again. This has to be a bad dream, but she can't wake up from reality. She feels defiled, dirtied. Think of the rumors that'll spread! Everyone will think she's a harlot, and that boy will do disgusting things at night.

Someone knocks on the door three times. "Asuka?" It's Shinji.  
"Verpiss dich."  
"Can I come in?"  
"Nein."  
"This sucks for me too. I… Will you try to hurt me?"  
"Nur wenn du es verdienst."  
"Well, if I deserve it, then I won't stop you. I… If we'll have to do this, can we be, um, professional?"

Asuka opens the door.

"You better not look at me like a pervert, baka, no matter what I wear."  
"I won't, or I'll try not to. You're, ah, very-" He rubs the back of his head and blushes.  
"I get it. Don't make this creepier than what it is. Is your father always this pervy?"  
She sees the anger in his eyes. "The asshole never talked to me besides a few words the day I arrived."

 _Are Eva pilots destined to have horrible fathers? I bet Rei has another bad one too._ "Fine." She holds out her hand. "Baka."

Shinji shakes it.

"This'll still suck," they say together.

* * *

She tosses and turns in bed. Shinji lies still, not wanting her to know that he's awake too. Misato comes by every hour and checks on them, but it's due to her fear of them… um…

Anyway, Asuka has kept him up the whole night, and morning shouldn't be that far away. They won't be able to train if they don't sleep, and they won't be able to protect Rei if they fail at training.

Shinji sits up. His eyes have long since adjusted to the almost pitch-black room. Only some light seeping through the cracks in the blinds lets him see. Asuka's half of the room has her futon pressed into the wall under the window. Boxes stand in piles, and that's not including the dozens in the closet. In comparison, Shinji has his futon while everything else he has in a box. The dresser sits in the middle of the room. Neither of them felt like fighting over who gets what. _I'll let Asuka take it all to avoid a fight._

"Asuka," he whispers. Either she doesn't need sleep, or something seriously bothers her.  
"I'm sleeping. Shut up."  
"You haven't slept at all. I haven't either."

She sits up too. Without her neural clips, her red hair flows free. He likes that style more.

"If I sleep, you'll do perverse things."  
"You know I won't. Are you too hot, too cold?"  
"I'm an Eva pilot. Those things don't bother me."  
"Is it too bright next to the window? Should I make it darker?"  
"NO!"

Shinji never knew someone could scream a whisper until now. As realizations dawns on him, he nods and stands. He walks over to the girl.

"What are you doing?" She stands up and curls each hand into fists.  
He opens the blinds more, letting illuminating the room in the night's glow. "I won't tell anyone." He slips back into his futon and closes his eyes.  
"It's pathetic that you, an Eva pilot, fear the dark, but I won't blab either."

In a few minutes, her breathing becomes consistent and quiet. With the extra light, he sees her face, soft and resting.

He smiles. _You're welcome, Asuka._

* * *

Rei presses the call button. The phone rings for a moment before being picked up, though she suspected this outcome. Only five people in the world have the Commander's personal phone number, and none of them call unless the situation demands such drastic action.

"Rei? Is everything alright?" Grogginess seeps through his tone, since he must have been sleeping.  
"Pilot Ikari's life may be in immediate danger."  
"Why?"  
"I just read your orders directed to Major Katsuragi regarding the Second and Third Children. I fear he may be killed or, at best, receive repeated blows to his testicles."  
"I talked to her before leaving on my trip yesterday. She won't."  
"But, it may harm your scenario."  
"Or strengthen it. Do you trust me?"  
"Unquestionably."  
"Then do not believe that pilot Sohryu will harm pilot Ikari."  
"Yes, Commander."

He hangs up the phone. Rei looks at her other hand. It twitches by itself.

 _If SHE decreases his mental welfare, then I will make HER regret HER actions._

* * *

Hikari watches numbers rise. Her eyebrows cross, since she realized that these elevators don't play any music. How boring. Knowing Asuka, she'd have complained to someone about it already.

The girl double-checks the address. Due to her duties as class representative, though it's more of a joy than a duty, she has access to the addresses of class 2-A's students. While she has never been to this apartment complex before, the sequence of words and numbers seems familiar, as if she's seen it before.

The elevator dings and opens its door. She steps out ready to check on her newest friend or, at the very least, a friendly acquaintance. Without explanation, the German hadn't arrived for school. Neither has Shinji for that matter, and Rei refused to say anything on their disappearance. Since she wouldn't trust any boy other than Shinji to check on her and every girl other than Rei despises her popularity, Hikari nominated herself for this.

"Hey, it's the class rep."

She turns her head. Aida and Toji step out of the other elevator. She sees fear in their eyes.

"What are you two stooges doing?"  
"We're checking on Shinji. We haven't seen him for a while… even though we've been doin' community cra- er, service for the entire Sunday yesterday. We wanted to make sure he still isn't mad at us for, erm."  
"And we got every picture back!" Aida adds in. "And we'll pay the Demon all of our earned money when we see her."

Hikari nods and walks down the halls to Asuka's apartment. They follow her.

"Watcha doin'?" Toji asks.  
"To see how Miss Sohryu's doing."

Hikari stops at the door. The boys don't walk anymore.

"Why'd you stop here?" they all say at the same time. She rings the doorbell.  
"Coming." The voice sounds drawn out and as if there's more than one speaker, bored speakers too.

The door opens. She sees Shinji and Asuka with the same dead stare, the same headphones, the same tank top, the same low cut shirt, and the same pants. Worse, Asuka practically leans her chest on Shinji's back. _Perverse!_

"You betrayed us!" Toji squeaks.  
"You're dressing alike again too." Aida says. "I can't believe this."

In perfect tandem and sounding miserable, the two teens give their reply. "Neither can we. It's all Misato's fault. We have to eat, breathe, and sleep together." _SLEEP TOGETHER! They're having sex at thirteen and fourteen!_  
She explodes on them. "You're living in sin! That's awful."

Their faces turn to anger. "No, it's not like that." _And their enjoying it too? Perverts!_  
She covers her face with her hands. "Then just what is it like?" she moans.

"Hi, everybody." Through her fingers, Hikari peeks at the speaker. Miss Katsuragi stands next to them smiling. Rei stands next to her with a blank face, her normal one.  
"Um," says Toji. "Would you like to explain all of this to us?"

* * *

The four of them laugh at the two's expense. Rei sits like a proper lady, but Hikari relapses due to the absurdity of what Shinji and Asuka must do. At the same time, she runs her fingers down Pen Pen's back again. _He's so cute and fluffy! He hasn't left my lap yet, so I guess he likes me._

"Gee, you shoulda told us that to begin with," Toji says.  
"So how's their coordination drills coming along?  
"Well, as you can see…"

Shinji slips and crashes down on the mat. A buzzer sounds off and the weird music stops.

"Scheisse!" Asuka throws her headphones across the room. They almost hit Hikari. "So much for synchronization. There's no way I could possibly lower myself to this pathetic turnip's level! If you ask me, this whole idea's impossible."  
"Then you give up?" Miss Katsuragi asks.  
Asuka smirks. "But you don't have anyone else, do you?"  
"Rei?"  
"Yes, ma'am."  
"Why don't you try?"  
"Yes, ma'am."

A look of horror slowly grips Asuka's entire face as Rei walks over and completes the dance perfectly with Shinji, as if it was nothing.

"Well," the woman says. "It looks like I should alter the operation to pair Shinji and Rei."  
"What?" _Is that fear?_ "No… No! I can't stand this! I can't take it anymore." She runs out the door and slams it behind her.

"Wait, Asuka!" Hikari calls out to her, but she gets no response. _She's hurt._  
"So even the Devil can cry," Toji mutters.  
She stands up and slips into her class representative personality. "Shinji, go!"

It's sorta funny though. Before she finished saying _go_ , he was already out the door. _Wow, he can run fast. I hope he can help Asuka._

* * *

 _I'm gonna be replaced! Scheisse!_ She runs down the stairs almost pushing an old lady over on the way down. After taking a few steps from the apartment, she looks left and right. Shrugging, she decides that either direction will suck the same. She veers left.

"Asuka!"

And stops. THAT was a tone far more forceful than anything else the Third used before. Plus, if he's here, it means she might still be fighting anyway. Before turning around, she wipes her face and hides any sign of insecurity and dejection.

"Yes?" She turns around.  
He looks dead serious. "Come with me."  
"Why?"  
"Just trust me on this."  
She nods.

He reaches out to take her by the hand but stops halfway through. Instead, he marches foreword. Asuka sprints to his side, not content with just following the boy. His eyes dart around, a lot, as if he thinks he's being watched. They walk in silence for minutes, maybe an hour. Asuka didn't pay much attention to time.

"Here we are." He walks into his destination.  
"The damn park? What are we, merry picnickers?" She notices others staring at the two oddly dressed children, but her glares make them look away.  
"The park isn't monitored in any way. I can talk freely here."

He sits down on a bench but gives enough room for Asuka to sit down too. She does.

"This better be worth it, Third." His cheeks flush. His hands sweat. He breathes in short bursts. "Um, you aren't about to confess a crush on me, right?"  
"What? Uh, no… it's weirder than that. Rei's, um-"  
"You screwed your cousin?"  
His eyes open up wider than Asuka thought possible. "Ew, gross! I wouldn't do that to her."  
She smirks. "Well, she is pretty and I bet you've been spending lots of quality time with her."

He looks at the nearest Section 2 guard. He's standing far enough away that he'd only hear shouting.

He hides his face in his hand. He whispers, "I have a sister."  
"Big woop."  
"Rei's my twin."  
"Uh…"

A few hundred questions rush through Asuka's head. All battle for supremacy. Before she could ask any, Shinji notices her dumbstruck face.

"I grew up with her, best friends. At nine, my father sent me away but kept her. I never saw her until my first Angel battle. I later learned that she didn't remember me, at all. She never told me why her hair and eyes are different now. She mentioned an accident. But, that's why we synced. We, um, hold a special bond."  
"Why are you telling me this now?"  
"I shouldn't be. This's super classified, but I don't know why and that scares me. Misato has no clue. Other than me and Rei, there's only three others authorized to know this. Toji and Kensuke know too, my mistake."  
"They never blabbed? Surprising. But, why me?"

He sits up straight. With a cold face, he says to the girl, "Because if we fail, Rei dies."  
"Oh."  
"She's why I do well in combat. I mustn't fail her. I don't fight for myself, at all."  
"So, you trust me."  
"Yeah." He nods.  
"You're sort of a nice person."  
"You too."

Asuka stands up. "Then let's get going. That dance mat needs some dancers, Shinji."  
"My real name?"  
"You earned it. Now, you'll have to keep it."

She smirks at the teen.

* * *

Shinji flips another page in his magazine and tries to ignore his sore body. The training has been brutal. Misato, Asuka, and most of all himself have been pushing the duos minds and bodies to the limit. Somehow, the days have both dragged on for eternity and passed in the blink of an eye, but they synced. As if they share the same mind, the two children could talk, dance, and fight as one. _And it freaks the hell out of me too._

Even though the buds lie in his ears, he has his SDAT player turned off. Thus, he hears Asuka slide open the shower door and hum a cheerful tune.

"Where's Misato?"  
He knew she'd say that, due to their sync training. "At work. She called earlier. She'll be there all night."  
"So that means we'll be all alone tonight, huh?" _What does that mean?_

She picks up her futon, still humming, and plops it in the middle of the hallway. She closes the door with her foot. _What the Fu-_

She opens the door while on her hands and knees. Her position gives him a full view down her yellow shirt, and she isn't wearing a bra. He looks up instead, at her blue eyes.

"This is the impenetrable Wall of Jericho, Third Child. Take one step over this wall and you're a dead man. And now, it's time to go to bed, children."

She closes the door; Shinji scratches his head.

 _What the bloody hell? She's sleeping in the hallway and wants me to sleep in our room? She also used my title instead of my name, and what's with that Wall of Jericho thing? Wait. That was Misato's shirt too!_

 _Wall of Jericho. Wall of Jericho? She referenced something, but I don't have any dictionaries or computers in my room. Asuka's smart. She wouldn't put that Jericho word in there for nothing. Oh, I know who'd be able to solve this mystery._

He dials his most frequent contact on his phone.

"Yes?" She sounds tired.  
"Oh, did I wake you up? Sorry."  
"Has pilot Sohryu harmed you?"  
"No. What do you know about a _Wall of Jericho_?"  
"Long or short version?"  
"Short. Someone referenced it, and I want to know what it means."  
"The wall fell down due to an act of God."  
"Oh."  
"Is that all?"  
"Yes."  
"Be careful, brother."

She hangs up the phone; Shinji picks up his futon and stands up. He opens and closes the door, now adorned with the sign _Shinji and Asuka's lovely sweet._ He lays his futon next to hers. The hallway's too narrow for them to be farther apart. All the lights but one are off, but he notices her smile anyway.

"Goodnight, Shinji." She rolls to face the wall.  
"You too, Asuka."

She falls asleep; he doesn't. He has never slept this close to a girl before, not even Rei. Even though her back is turned, he sees the cover rise and fall from her steady breathing. Her red hair sprawls all over her pillow and a little onto his.

He shakes his head and rolls over. He shouldn't stare. Even though she'd never know, he'd know. He can't suppress a smile. _Maybe this's how I act with all girls because of Rei. The only girl I'm close to is my sister, so that's the only way I know how to act around them, brotherly. Either that or I'm afraid Asuka would kill me if she woke up and saw me starting. Yeah, that's it._

How long has he been awake anyway? Hours? He can't see a clock from here, but it might've passed midnight already. He should get some sleep. Soldiers work best when they aren't tired.

He hears Asuka sit up, so he closes his eyes. She walks into the bathroom. A toilet flushes, and she walks back.

She plops down in front of him. He feels her moist breath on his nose and her legs on top of his. His heart races like it's an Angel attack. Her shirt slid down somehow, almost giving him a view of her nipples. He forces his eyes up. Her lips move, and she moans, not in a happy way. _She's… having a bad dream?_

Since he first saw her, Asuka always beamed with energy. Now, she looks peaceful, almost sad. _Who are you, Asuka?_

"Mama." One word, yet it was so full of longing and loneliness. Those are two words that he knows very well. He takes her hand. "You're just a kid too." Her hand feels warm and soft. He doesn't let go all night.

Asuka doesn't have any more bad dreams that night.

* * *

Rei sits in the girls' changing room in her plugsuit. She has no need to even be present during this operation. If pilots Sohryu and Ikari fail, then she could do nothing to stop the Angel except start… She shudders at that thought, a rare moment of pure fear. _Times must be desperate for me to start that event._

The Second Child enters the room. She eyes the blue-haired girl, and her eyes betray the suspicion behind her mask of superiority.

"Why are you here?"  
"I am here for conversing."  
Asuka takes off her clothes. "Well, spit it out."  
"I wonder, will you protect pilot Ikari?"  
"Well Wondergirl, I'm the best Eva pilot there is." She points to her chest as she puts on her plugsuit. "Of course I will."  
Rei narrows her eyes. "I see."

 _You fight for yourself, SECOND CHILD._ _You trap yourself within your personal kingdom and refuse to see others. You did not even notice I was reading a book in German when we met._

"Fine," she huffs. "He's a giant baka, but I guess he's…"  
"That was sufficient. I will watch your victory from the command center." She bows.  
She raises her eyebrows. "Is that how you compliment people?"  
"Yes."  
"Shinji's right. You are screwed up. I'm glad he's trying to fix you."  
"Is that how you compliment people?"

Pilot Sohryu smiles and walks away. Rei traverses to the command center. The three technicians, Captain Katsuragi, Doctor Akagi, Mister Kaji, and Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki all stand in preparation for the battle.

Rei sits down in the back. Except for Mister Kaji, no one notices she entered the room. She watches the operations director give orders before the fighting begins. The hours she spent in preparation for this battle remain a nearly inhuman feat. The Second and Third Children banter. _Do they partake in these conversations to calm their nerves?_

They launch the Evas. The music plays. Rei watches a ballet. Four players dance, but the two Evas do most of the dancing. The JSSDF provide support for the two stars. The Angel remains reactionary to the other dancers.

Rei finds herself enraptured by the choreography. Her brother and the Second Child fight in perfect synchronization with both the music and each other. When their foot crushes the Angel's core, she experiences a new feeling or at least one she does not remember having. Still, she knows what she senses. _Pride._

Unit 01 and 02 lie sprawled in the crater's center. The two pilots crawl out of their entry plugs and, from their footage, both seem animated. The staff hears their communication from the open channels.

"Ha! Your Eva is a pervert, Shinji!"  
"Why mine? Yours is on top."  
"You're the one who lost his timing first."  
"You still fell on top of me!"  
"Just be glad this is the only time Misato saw us on top of each other."  
"You fell on top of me then too!"  
"Yeah, but who was holding my hand when I woke up?"

By this time, Rei walked to the communication panel. The rest of the crew falls into various categories ranging from embarrassed to horrified, except for mister Kaji. He seems pleased.

"Pilots Sohryu and Ikari," she says. The pilots freeze. "You are using open communications."  
Once again in sync, they both scream, "Shit!"

* * *

Misato's voice: "When an unhatched Angel in found in the caldera of the Asama volcano, a specially equipped Eva must descend into the fires of Hell. Don't miss the next exciting chapter, Magma Diver! Oh, someone might die, but you'll be too happy to care if I throw in some fan service!"

* * *

Author's notes: Okay, I feel like I should address several things this time. First, the constant promises of fan service are a bit of my (sorta) dark humor.

Second, I felt like episode 9 had a great deal of situational comedy and some left hooks that I wouldn't have expected from Evangelion. For example, "Shinji and Asuka must live together?" Now, I could just do that exact same thing, but all of you already expect that. However, I don't think anybody saw "Shinji's father just ordered him to share the same bedroom with Asuka" coming. I hope that was surprising. Many ShinjixAsuka fanfics have them sharing a bedroom only after they've grown close. I just sorta tossed 'em in there.

Third, before you jump to any conclusions, wait and see where I'm taking Asuka's character with her relationships between the other two pilots. I hope to twist at least a few "commonly seen things in Eva fanfic" around.

Fourth, Rei actually was reading a book in German on the TV show (and the book was full of fun nods to different things in the show). That's just cool if you ask me.

Fun fact: Magma Diver is actually one of my favorite episodes of the anime (even though I understand why others don't like it so much). I even gave an ominous warning in Misato's sneak preview.

Since I've been having longer author's notes recently, I'll stop now. Who wants to hear me ramble on anyway? I hope you had fun on this chapter. Thanks for your continued interest, reviews, favorites, and follows!

Replies to comments:

ADeadDiehard, well, I explored more with Asuka's interactions with Shinji and Rei. Also… Evangelion Gear. I never heard of that (I generally never read crossovers), but I saw its trope page. To be honest, I was both laughing and angry. That author must've had some weird hate-boner for Asuka because… damn, he was cruel to her. I won't spoil anything, but I will say Asuka won't commit suicide in an insane asylum after being raped by her therapist. I mean really… was zum Teufel. It wasn't even a dark fic.

FavoriteThings, Yes! I was really hoping someone would mention everything you said. Shinji contemplated this very thing in this chapter, but his closeness to Rei helped him become more polite to other females. Plus, falling on top of your naked sister must have some sort of mental effects on poor Shinji. During this chapter, I realized how much this'd affect his relationship with Asuka.  
As for PenPen, that was the result of me reading a couple thousand word analysis on the penguin. (Yeah, you heard me right.) One of the (several interesting) uses the anime used for the bird was being the "eyes" for the viewers. By having a penguin make the twin connection, it shows the viewers that Shinji and Rei have become quite close indeed despite their lack of words saying so.  
Also, I hope you think Asuka fit as well into this chapter too.

Traitor of All Traitors, I actually did see Asuka and Shinji use a tooth in this battle before, The Courtship of Shinji Ikari. Asuka was a borderline Mary-Sue, but I liked the way they killed the Angel. While fun and goofy, sinking two battleships and having them fire into Gaghiel's mouth just… didn't seem like something I could make interesting. Plus, Shinji's method of killing stuff so far has been: rip, tear, munch, stab, or all of the above. Of course, he'd just stab this Angel too. :)

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

Toji and Kensuke got severe punishment from Hikari after their business was exposed.

Asuka knows that Shinji and Rei are twins.

Asuka and Shinji share the same bedroom.

Those two slept in the hallway on the final night before the attack and had a more peaceful sleep.

Asuka doesn't have a hatred/jealousy/fear of Rei (though, they aren't best buddies for that matter).


	12. Magma Diver plus 1

Chapter 10

 _I am the great Asuka Langley Sohryu. There's nothing that I can't defeat. When this Angel War is over, I'll have the most kills. I might even be the last remaining pilot! Not that I want Wondergirl or the baka to die, but they might self-destruct their Evangelions because they're losing a battle or get too depressed to pilot. I, on the other hand, will never quit! I'm the best. There's no way me or my Eva will perish in battle._

* * *

Asuka sits across from the love of her life, Kaji, and they're having a date. Okay, it isn't a true date, but he took her shopping and now they're having lunch together at the mall plaza. She feels so mature right now, almost screaming in joy. This's the best day ever!

"Lucky me!" she giggles. "I'm so lucky that I went shopping with you, Kaji."  
"I still think that you're a little too young to wear a swimsuit like the one you bought."  
She puts on her best pouty face. "Oh, come on, Kaji. All the girls wear those kinds of things these days."  
"If you say so."

He puts down his chopsticks, done eating already.

"I'm just so anxious about this school trip. I just know we'll have a great time."  
"So, where is your class going?"  
"Okinawa! It's going to be awesome, and we're even going to go scuba diving!"  
"Scuba diving. Boy, it's been years since I last went scuba diving."  
"Hey, where did you go for your school trip?"  
"We didn't. There was this little thing called Second Impact instead."

* * *

Shinji sighs. Breakfasts haven't been peaceful ever since Asuka showed up. It's not her fault, but she and Misato aren't morning people. They always get into some groggy debate, but that's child's play compared to what's about to happen. _This won't go over well._

"What! You're saying I can't go on the school trip?" Yeah, he's right. She's pissed.  
"Yep." Misato takes another sip of her beer.  
"Well, why not?"  
"It's part of your job, permanent standby."  
"What idiot decided that? Shinji's perverted father?" _Why did you make us share a room together, Father?_  
"The Operations Director."  
She slams her fists on the dinner table, knocking over her glass of water. "That's you!"  
"Yup!"

Shinji sips on his tea again. If he's silent, then he won't have to get involved in this, um, chick fight. Maybe an Angel can attack. That'd make things less tense.

"Shinji," his teammate says. _Oh well, I'm involved._ "Stop hiding behind that cup of tea and talk some sense into this woman. You're a man, aren't you?"  
He takes another sip. "Well, I actually expected that we wouldn't get to go."  
She crosses her eyebrows. "So, you've already given up." She crosses her arms for effect.  
"For me? Uh, yeah. I don't mind. Rei doesn't like trips either, but, Misato, could me and Rei stay behind so Asuka could go? She's been so excited for all of this, and I'd be happy to help her have some fun."

"Sorry." Their guardian shrugs. "The last three Angels took two pilots to destroy. The MAGI predicted one will need all three soon. Plus, this's what sets you apart from everyone else, Asuka. As an Eva pilot, you have a great deal of responsibility, more than most adults."  
"But I AM and adult and I DO want to go scuba diving."  
"Look, think of this as an opportunity to get ahead for a change. The two of you can catch up on your studies while the rest of your classmates are gone on the trip, or did you think I didn't see these report cards." She holds them up, as if they were formed from nothingness. "They're forwarded to me."  
"Er." Shinji blushes. "I'm only having trouble in science really."  
"This sucks! I'll die of boredom!"

 _Huh, why is Asuka having trouble in school? She's always calling others idiots. At least Toji and Kensuke won't be having much fun. Somehow, Hikari figured out how to assign them janitorial duties at their hotel, for the entire trip._

* * *

Shinji glances at Rei. She moves through the water without moving, at all. Plus, she doesn't lose momentum. He raises his eyebrow at the oxymoron, but he shrugs and turns back to his laptop. If he asked her how she's doing that, she'd just say something like, "I do this because I can." His sister has many mysteries that he may never solve, but it doesn't bother him. She's his friend, and that's what matters.

"Hm, what have you got there, Shinji?" _Oh, I guess Asuka's out of the changing room._  
"Basic physics." He stares at the confusing jumbled up mess of words. Even though he comes from a scientific family, he didn't inherit those genes. He's more of an arts person.  
"You're such an obedient student." From her tone, she thinks that isn't a good thing.  
"I'll have to study it anyway and w-" His brain lost the function to speak, since he at last looked at her. _She's wearing a damn bikini! Gods! Doesn't she know it so revealing and so close to my face?_  
"Well, if I can't dive in Okinawa, I'll do it here!"  
"Wha- er, um."  
"Diving! Hey, what are you working on?" She leans over to see his computer screen. He has a perfect view down her…

 _Don't look THERE! Don't look THERE! Don't look THERE!_

"You can't solve an easy problem like this?" She types out the answer. "There, all done. It's easy when you know how."  
"H-how are you so smart and s-still do bad on t-tests?"  
She blushes. "I… don't know Kanji. I didn't study it in college."  
"College?"  
"Yeah! Hey, what does that question say?"

She pokes his computer screen.

"That's a question about thermal expansion."  
"Oh, that's easy stuff. Most things expand when they get hot and shrink when they get cold." She gives a devilish smirk. "If I warm up my breasts." She puts her hands on both. "Would they shrink or expand."  
"I, uh, well, er."

He hides his rapidly reddening face in his hands.

"You really need to lighten up around women, Shinji."  
"I… I want to be respectful," he mumbles.  
"Well, you have my permission to look. Will they expand or shrink?"  
He peeks through the cracks between his fingers. "Um, expand?"  
"Yes!"

She walks away, though she's smiling. Without turning around, she calls out, "Tell me if you need any more of my genius intellect!"  
"Um, I can help you with Kanji too."  
This time, she does turn around. "Yeah, why not?"

 _Was she flirting with me? No, it must be some kind of test. She's into Kaji._

"Hey Shinji, look at this! Back roll entry!"

He looks up. Wearing scuba gear, she does what's apparently called a back roll into the pool. _Huh._

* * *

"Is that an Angel?" Shinji asks. Asuka shakes her head. _Of course it's an Angel. Why else would they being showing us that giant embryo picture?_

"Yes," the bottle blonde says. "It's some sort of chrysalis form that precedes the adult phase. This operation's primary objective will be to capture this Angel." _Really! Finally, we can attack them for a change. Maybe we could kill all of them like this. Then, I'd be famous and get to go scuba diving… with Kaji!_ "We must capture it alive and in a state as close to its original state as possible."  
"And if we fail?" Asuka asks.  
"Then you must destroy it immediately. Understood?"

"Roger," they all say together.  
"Good. The designated pilot will be-"

Asuka raises her hand. Like a giddy schoolgirl, she shouts, "Oh, pick me. Pick me! I'd love to go diving!"  
"Asuka, you will carry out the mission." _Really? I thought Shinji would've been chosen, but I won't complain._  
"Sure. This'll be easy."

"Rei, you'll be on standby due to your prototype's limitations."  
"Yes, ma'am." She doesn't sound like she cares at all.  
"Don't worry, Wondergirl. Shinji'll stay alive again under my watch!"  
Ritsuko says, "Since an A-17 has been ordered, we have to roll out immediately, get ready."

* * *

Rei hears screaming from within the girls' locker. While it may have been the more… personable action to forewarn the Second Child over her heat-resistant suit's physical difference, this scenario has a higher probability of proving amusement to pilot Ikari.

She steps into the hanger with her suit already inflated. "No! How could you?" he appears horrified at the armor NERV outfitted Unit 02.  
"This suit," the doctor explains, "is designed to protect you from heat, pressure, and radiation. High fashion was not considered."

Rei glances at Unit 02. Akin to the ancient divers of days long since passed, the Eva wears a suit that appears nearly intentionally archaic. Her brother, on the other hand, appears sympathetic to his teammate's horror.

"The poor thing! Forget it! I won't do it! I won't appear in public in that stupid thing. Make Shinji do it." She points to him. "He doesn't mind such insulting things."  
"This is so disappointing." Mister Kaji has arrived. "I was looking so foreword into seeing you in action." _Is the Second Child so easily manipulated?_

The Second Child continues to protest, but pilot Ikari raises his hand. Before he volunteers, Rei says, "I will go in Unit 02." _This mission is dangerous. Pilot Ikari is not expendable or replaceable._  
Asuka takes the girl's hand and forces it down. "I'd rather die than let someone else pilot my Schatzi!" She looks up at Unit 02. "I'm sorry, but they made me do it!"

Rei looks at the girl. _You begged for this position, refused it, then accepted it again. Are you not aware that they will submerge you in magma? I… I don't think SHE does, or perhaps SHE doesn't care. I am replaceable. SHE isn't, yet._

* * *

 _At least in the entry plug, no one can see my fat suit. Curse you, Ritsuko._

She looks around at the tiny people below her. "Hey, is Kaji here yet?"  
Misato opens up an audio-visual feed. "That asshole has no business coming here." _But he was the one who made me do this. This is my first solo mission. Why aren't you here to see me, Kaji?_  
"Aw, but I wanted him to see my greatest triumph to date."  
Shinji opens up his communication window, smiling. "Hey! I'll see it."

 _Ug, why does Shinji have to be more reliable than my future husband?_

"Um, aren't those jets?" he asks no one in particular.  
The bottle blonde, of course, speaks up. "The UN air force is on standby until the mission's over."  
"Are they here to help us?" Asuka feels so much excitement. The United Nations will watch her as she single handedly captures an Angel. Everyone will see she's the best Eva pilot!  
"No, they're here to clean up the mess in case we fail."  
She grimaces. "What do you mean?"  
In a matter-of-fact tone, she comments, "They'll use N2 depth charges to destroy the Angel and us as well."  
"This job sucks!"

It's not that she's friendly with Ritsuko or any of the bridge technicians present. Hell, even Misato gets on her nerves for taking Kaji's attention, but they don't deserve to be blown to kingdom come.

"What kind of asshole would order such a thing?" _My thoughts exactly, Shinji._  
"Commander Ikari."

Without a chance for either pilot to reply, they lift up her Unit 02 with a crane. Asuka doesn't know why there's lava just… sitting there. Because an Angel rests at the bottom of the volcano, she'd be willing to bet it's screwing up physics somehow; however, she doesn't feel like getting a two minute long explanation from Ritsuko.

"Asuka," asks Misato. "Are you ready?"  
"Ready when you are."  
"Launch!"

They lower her beautiful Eva in an ugly diving suit down. With every meter, she feels the heat building up. Just a few seconds from entering, she hears a worried voice.

"Be careful, Asuka."  
"Third, what could possibly go wrong?"

She tells them boring technical aspects of her descent. Of course, they know that information already, but she needs to take her mind off of this blasted heat. She switches her visual settings around to even see through the lava. It's more like water instead of molten rocks. At least this's sorta like diving, if the water was way beyond boiling and there's a world-ending monster at the bottom of it.

She's sweating a lake of water by the time she reaches the Angel's estimated level.

"Asuka," asks Misato. "What do you see?"  
She double-checks in case she missed it. "I'm not detecting anything. It's not here." After a moment consulting the scientists, she speaks again. "Continue descent."

She hears a crack. A blinking light confirms her suspicions. The second coolant pipe cracked. _I got four more anyway._

"How's it going, Asuka?"  
"Nice and toasty. I just want to finish this and take a shower." Under the plugsuit, her skin sticks to the rubber-like fabric from all the sweat. She must smell worse that the pinky jock.  
"There's a nice hot spring close by. We'll hit there once this's over. Hang in there."

The restraints for her progressive knife break off. It sinks faster than her Eva, so it's long gone. Damn it. That was a cool knife.

One of the technicians… Makoto maybe? He whines to Misato about this being inhumane or something like that. The captain, of course, tells her to keep on going. _Why do most men always seem to lack balls?_

"Misato's right. I'm okay. I can keep going."  
Shinji's face pops up again. "Please don't."  
"Why? Am I not good enough, you think?"  
"N-no. But you're equipment might fail."  
"I'm fine, Dummkopf."

Oh, there is it. Good! Plus, the Angel rests in its dormant, embryo state. She deploys her cage as Ritsuko tells her she has only one shot at this. _As if I didn't know that._ She gets closer than snaps her cage around the enemy.

She giggles. "Hey Shinji, I just captured the lamest Angel ever!"

She hears sighs of relief from everyone, as if all the tension just sorta ended. Well, there's one exception of course.

"Please hurry back up," the baka says. "Please?"

They pull her back up.

"Baka, are you gonna go to the men's or girl's side of the hot springs?"  
"W-what!" He blushes redder than the lava.  
"Wouldn't you love it if you see Misato and me in bikinis? Hmmm?"  
"Uh, I, um, er."  
"I could wear the same one from the pool…" She smirks. Her genius brain came up with something that might make him explode in embarrassment. "Or maybe I could just go skinny dipping."

He doesn't respond. From the visual feed, she sees him frozen, with his mouth hanging open. _I can see why Kaji likes flirting so much. It's fun to cause a little mayhem._

The worst sound imaginable screams in everyone's ears. A gnarly, growling beep erupts which means only one thing. _Shit just hit the fan._

"What's going on!" she yells.  
Ritsuko shouts back. "It started to hatch!"  
"Drop the cage, Asuka!"

She follows Shinji's orders without thinking. As the creature evolves into something much bigger than a giant embryo, Misato gives the attack order. _I knew that already._

"I'm throwing my knife down to you!" _Why? Oh, I dropped mine._

The creature circles her like a shark, but it looks more like a hybrid between a shark and a lobster. _Damn bastard thinks I'm a sitting duck._ She grabs the knife as it whizzes by. _Well, go to Hell like all your brothers, asshole._

It lunges at her and she stabs at its core. It sinks its teeth into her left shoulder, but her knife does shit. She screams in agony. Lava seeps through the holes burning Asuka's skin.

"Verdammt stirbst!"  
He shouts, "Asuka, think physics!"  
"Thermal expansion!"

With so much adrenaline in her body, she can't feel much of anything now. In a hormone induced haze, the girl cuts off most of the coolant lines. She shoves them down the Angel's throat. It shakes for a moment, as if it suffers a seizure. Then, it dissolves into the magma. _Huh, boring climax._

Then, it hits her. Her body decided it was out of danger, so the entirety of the pain registers in her brain. Blackness clouds her vision. Her mind wanders in a high from all the pain.

 _Hey, are they yelling at me? That's mean. "Hold on?" To what? Oh, silly me, I should hold onto the cables. I guess I should. Is it just me, or is my body turning into a burnt raisin? My grip slips. Should I tell them? Nah, I think my lungs burned off or something like that. Wait. I'm dying. Oh yeah, the pain and all means I'm dying._

"Kaji," she mumbles. "You aren't here." _Oops, I let go._ "That's it. I'm done for." _Dang, I shouldn't feel sad now, like someone just killed Pen Pen and force fed me his bunt corpse? Will they fish me outa here when it's all over, or will my grave be a God dammed volcano. Then again, that's a badass grave._

 _Still, I died on my first solo mission. Pathetic, but really funny. I bragged about being the best non-stop, and I believed that with every being of my core. Shinji killed two Angels solo. Rei killed another. I did shit without Shinji._

 _I glad that my life doesn't flash before my eyes. It'd be too cliché for me and frankly way too cheerless. Let's see here… I'm smart enough to have an entire internal monologue, under extreme pain no less, in just one second… or is it more? Then again, who gives a shit?_

 _My mama committed suicide and killed the doll that she thought was me. That's a big confidence booster. I grew up with a total of zero friends, ever. The man I love flirts with other women and ignores me. I've been trained since I was a toddler to be an Angel killing machine, but I'm outmatched in every way by a moron who started piloting a month ago._

 _Oh, fuck everything. I should just die and get it over with._

A tight grip on her hand rips Asuka from her thoughts. It's technically not even human contact, but Eva to Eva contact suffices for the girl. He acts as a link in the chain between Asuka and the towing cable. She hears his pained grunts over the comm channel while at the same time, she feels less pain. _He put his AT field around me._ She wills hers around his Eva.

"W-why?" she grunts through sensation of having one's body being burnt alive.  
"We need you."

Her body decides it had enough misery. The girl slips into darkness.

* * *

The Commander took a large risk. He complied to Rei's request, but they both knew Rei was leaving whether allowed to or not. For the time being, Tokyo-3 has a single Evangelion on standby and not one pilot. NERV, starting an hour ago, began its tedious mission of transporting two boiled Evas back. The war machines' pilots reside in a makeshift hospital under the shadow of the volcano, once again dormant. Riding in an acquisitioned helicopter from the JSSDF, the final pilot flies to the former battlefield.

She read the report and knows what happened. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. The Angel drifted far too deep. It awoke. Just about every support system for Unit 02 failed. Its prog knife, coolant lines, and support cables proved to be comically unreliable. As an encore, Unit 01 jumped into the volcano, against orders.

Rei watches her hand shake. It exceeded mere twitching hours ago. Both pilots, one her brother, came too close to death. First degree burns cover large portions of each body. She felt confused by the weight taken off their chest when she learned both retained their hair.

Like a flower in a grassy field, she sees the white tops of the quickly erected tents. Pilot Ikari rests in one or at least tries to rest since the Second Child may be there with him. _SHE better not harm pilot Ikari._

The moment the helicopter lands, Rei leaps out from the cockpit in one swift motion. Half running and half walking, she trudges to the tent with a Section 2 agent guarding the entrance. She keeps her hands inside her skirt's pockets to maintain modesty, something the Third Child told her she may want to do. She heard what happened to the Second Child when machinery caused too much airflow.

The agent steps aside. Even though he wears shades, she sees emotion on his face. He feels sympathy.

Inside, she sees four people. A crying Captain Katsuragi holds the hand of her male ward. Said ward lies in bed unconscious but stable. While in her slumber, the Second Child shifts in her hospital bed as if she suffers a nightmare. Doctor Ritsuko flips through the pages of her notepad. She notices the blue-haired girl first.

"Rei." She doesn't bother looking up from her work. "I weaned them both off some of their meds. They'll awake soon."  
"Yes, ma'am."

Since one side of Ikari's bed presses against the side of the tent and the other side is occupied by his guardian, Rei sits next to the Second Child. She stares at the girl. Except for the sobs and mumbled apologies from the operation's director and the beeping from the medical equipment, nothing else makes a sound. The redhead stirs more, indicating she's about to awaken.

She opens her eyes.

"Is Sinji…" Her voice lacks her usual force and vigor.  
"He was injured like you." Rei motions to her unconscious brother.  
"Baka." She closes her eyes again.  
"Why? He saved you, against orders."  
She smiles. "Totally a baka, but a good one I guess."

She rolls on her side to look at the Third Child.

"I couldn't have survived any of my three victories without him."  
"But your performance and sync score increased each battle."  
She sighs. "What did it get to this time?" Her apathy bleeds through her voice. "Ten, twenty, twenty-five points behind you and him?"  
"Above. One hundred exactly."

The redhead sits up and cringes from the sudden soreness, but she doesn't turn her gaze from her other teammate. "When? How?"  
Doctor Akagi speaks up, a slight grin on her face. "Right before you lost consciousness."  
"That's when I…"  
"Yes, when you deployed your AT field around Unit 01."

The redhead blushes for a moment before regaining her composure.

"Scheisse."  
Rei nods. "I concur." Still, she can't stifle a small smile to match pilot Sohryu's.

 _Perhaps SHE… perhaps she is capable of changing._

* * *

Interlude: Malls, Hospitals, and Bedrooms

 _Girls are weird. I don't understand them, not even Rei. I'm not saying they're weird in a bad way… I guess I'm saying they're different. Ug, now I'm sounding perverted. They see things differently._

 _Oh! For example, yesterday Asuka asked me why Rei visited us at the Asama volcano in her school uniform. I couldn't answer because I didn't know why. Asuka being Asuka, she called Rei immediately. I never gave her my number, and Rei certainly didn't, so I think she secretly took the number from my phone. Anyway, Rei said that's the only clothes she has. I don't know why I never noticed that._

 _My roommate demanded that we take her shopping tomorrow. I think it's her way of saying thank you to me for saving her. Somehow, Misato got Rei excused from classes. Asuka and I are still out "recovering" from our injuries. Both of us want to get back though, so this'll be a nice excursion… I think. I never went shopping with girls before._

* * *

Shinji stares out the window. He'd rather walk to the mall, but Dr. Ritsuko told them not to do that kind of stuff yet. They've sat around the house or had weird tests at Central Dogma for three days already. While Asuka isn't horrible to be around, he's been cooped up with her for over seventy-two hours. They both want some fresh air. This shopping trip has to be better, right? It's for Rei after all.

"Hey, baka?"

Shinji glances over at Asuka. She wears more today than what she has been. The bandages are an ass to deal with, especially under clothes. He had been wearing a tank top and shorts. Out of habit, he wears his school clothes today. Asuka on the other hand… She's been frolicking around the apartment wearing nothing but really short shorts and a sports bra. It made the past few days… hard on Shinji.

"Yeah?" _At least she's wearing more modest clothes now. I guess she doesn't want most of her bandages seen, though I still see the one on her shoulder.  
_ "What's so interesting about that window?"  
"N-nothing." He shifts in his seat and turns his gaze to the redhead. She seems pleased.  
"Much better. Why wouldn't you want to look at my beautiful legs?"

Shinji does look at her legs for a moment before reverting his gaze back to her eyes.

"Hey Third, don't look so pouty. You'll need to learn these things if you ever wanna get a girl."  
"So, you're doing this to help me?"  
"Of course."  
"But aren't you adding more fuel to the fire?"

He doesn't have to explain further. Misato has been giving them a ton of trouble, especially after hearing their tirade last battle. He didn't know the communication channel was open! They've gotten sex talks that almost killed them with awkwardness. Hell, they'd be willing to beg for their boring professor to rant about Second Impact instead. Misato even told them where she kept condoms in case, as she said it, "they couldn't hold back any longer".

She shakes her head. "I don't think that's possible, unless Misato catches us playing doctor."  
He covers his eyes, as if they were doing the act. "I, um, I'm sorry."  
"Baka."

The car stops. He hears her open the door, so he gets out too. A crowd of people meander around doing whatever normal people do. None of the three pilots know what that entails. The mall lies a bit on the northern side of Tokyo-3, and it has been spared damage from the attacks so far. Nonetheless, a quarter of the building was closed down. Not enough tenants could be found.

"Rei!" Shinji shouts. He runs up to his sister. She puts down her book and rises to greet the duo.  
"Shinji and Sohryu, I am present as requested."  
"I'm sorry, Rei, for not noticing this. Even I have normal clothes." He points to his chest. "And I'm a guy."  
"Wondergirl and baka, time to go shopping. I saw a good store when I bought that bikini, and I never forget a good clothing store."

She leads them through the mall. Shinji feels almost out of place. His sister is going clothes shopping. Shouldn't he, as a male, not be a part of this? Then again, leaving Asuka and Rei alone could result in anything.

A smiling Asuka and an impassive Rei enter the store. Shinji stands at the entrance for a moment, wondering what lies beyond. _Please let there not be any undergarments in here._ He enters the girly place. _Oh, it's a clothing store, just with more stereotypical feminine colors and no male clothes. Cool._

He ignores the girls' conversation for a moment. Asuka was saying something about clothing sizes, and Shinji did not want to know such a private detail about his sister. Thus, he sorta stands in the middle of the store and sticks out like his father at a comedian convention. One of the employees gives him a knowing smile. _I guess I'm not the first._

Asuka dances around the store grabbing all sorts of tops, skirts, and shorts. She hands off the giant bundle of colors to Rei and pushes her into a changing room.

"Shinji." She waives at him.  
The boy jumps back a bit, startled by someone finally talking to him. "Uh, yeah?"  
"Come here. You'll help me decide what looks good on her."  
His face reddens. "That's improper, and why me?"  
"You know her better than anyone else."

She motions for him to sit on a bench opposite of the changing rooms. Then, she sits beside him.

Rei opens the door. Even Shinji can tell that an orange top and a purple skirt clash. His sister's expression shows indifference.

"These feel uncomfortable."  
"Yeah First, you got a point. Go try on some more."  
"Yes, pilot Sohryu."

They repeat the process fifty-two times. He was keeping track. Each time, Rei gives some negative response. The clothes felt uncomfortable, the top seemed too tight, the skirt was too short. Eventually, Asuka asked Rei to step into a bathroom. Shinji has no idea what they'll say. As they close the door to women's private domain, he nods his head. _I wouldn't want to know what they'll say anyway._

* * *

As asked, Rei entered the bathroom with the Second Child. It smells as though one toilet remains unflushed, and the other two stalls sit empty. One of the overhead lights flickers while giving off an electric hum. The trashcan needs to be emptied of its paper waste.

"What's you deal, Wondergirl?" She crosses her arms.  
Rei tilts her head. "Could you clarify?"  
"Some of those outfits looked really cute on you. Even you should be able to tell that. Why did you reject them? We're shopping so you could buy stuff."  
"I prefer the school uniform."  
"Why? It must've been made by some pervy Japanese dude with a sailor fetish."

Rei stares at her for a moment. _Why do I?_

"Because it stays the same."  
"What?" Pilot Sohryu might as well have been told that pigs fly.  
"I am comforted by its consistency and sameness. If I wore those clothes, then I would deny my nature to do so. I… do not wish to change for societal appeasement."  
"Ug, you're so weird."  
"But…" She looks at her feet. Her hand twitches. "I shall remember this experience as pleasurable."  
"Why? We wasted two friggen' hours for nothing."  
"For me. No one but Shinji had done this before."

This time, a small amount of redness forms on the Second Child's cheeks.

"Hey, no problem, First. Just be glad I graced you with my presence."  
"I am."  
"Who knows? Maybe you could start acting normal if you're around me enough."  
Rei frowns, just slightly. "My condition will not abate."  
"Oh."  
"But more interaction would still be of merit."  
"Why?"  
"Because I never did these activities with a female until now."

Asuka smiles. "Well, since I am now the pilot with the highest sync score and killed an Angel totally solo, I can let a groupie tag along."  
Rei bows.  
"Come on, Wondergirl. Let's go tell the baka he can go."

The two exit the bathroom. To pilot Ikari's relief, pilot Sohryu tells him that they will leave. Rei thanks her brother as well, since he spent the same amount of time on her. They leave by car, but Rei elects to walk. While the other two pilots left for their home, Rei heads to a different type of structure.

The guards step aside. No one in the city looks quite like the pale, blue haired girl; furthermore, only Commander Ikari himself and Rei could have such an off-putting aurora. She does not acknowledge the guards, hospital staff, or the rare visitor throughout the building. She does, however, smile ever so slightly at the little girl in the bed. This hospital does not receive enough smiles.

"Rei!" she squeals.  
"Greetings."  
"Come in! Take a seat. Did you know that Toji took Hikari to see me yesterday? It was just hours after they came back too!"  
Rei sits in a chair beside the bed. "I was not aware. Was it after I left?"  
"Yeah, I wish they coulda seen you here. You've been so kind, seeing me so much. Why shouldn't I tell them?"  
Rei blushes. "I… Privacy remains a rare commodity for me."  
"Oh. Okay!"

Sakura gets out of bed and hobbles to the teen. Rei picks her up and sits the child in her lap.

"They're gonna let me out tomorrow!"  
"I know."  
"Thank you so much for getting me here."  
"I still do not understand how you found out, but you have my gratitude for not telling."  
"I'm really smart. I had to be to keep my silly big brother out of trouble. Now, he has Hikari to help too."  
"Will you enjoy having her as a sister-in-law?"  
"Yeah! She's nice, cooks really good, and cares for others. They just have to see that they like each other first."

The girl swivels around in her lap and hugs Rei. She buries her head into her shoulder, pressing her hair against Rei's blue.

"Promise you'll see me when I'm out," she says with a muffled voice.  
"I will."

 _Along with my brother, you are the only other who I can speak so freely. Why? I know of several extraverted individuals, yet I do not become close to them. For example, I do not converse with Captain Katsuragi as I do now, even though she is his guardian._

"Thank you so much for being the best friend ever. I want to be just like you when I grow up."

 _If you know who I became, then you would not select those words. Still, I never expected to become a role model for a civilian. Since I do hold influence over this moldable mind, then I should act with that in mind._

"Sakura." She holds the girl's hand to assure her that her words were not rejected. "You should be you." She stares out the window to hide her somber eyes. "Some people lose such a blessing."

* * *

Night exists when the world becomes cloaked in a shadow. Humanity fights back with artificial light, but even the sky becomes cloaked in blackness. It's as if reality and the shadows of reality trade places. Light is the shadow while shadow is the light.

Maybe that's why they act so differently at night. They're in a different world, one without Evas, popularity, or responsibility. Instead, they have nightmares that cause cold sweats and irrational fears of danger beyond the light.

Asuka turns yet another time. From all the light from the window, she can tell his eyes are open, staring at the ceiling.

"Shinji?" she whispers.  
"Yeah?"  
"Are hot showers hard to take?"  
"Yeah."  
"Ever since-"  
"The volcano."

She rolls onto her other side. Maybe it's because this world isn't real. In the real world, Asuka doesn't say these things to anyone. No one knows of any weakness, but in here, it's different. She can say how she's afraid of the dark and unable to enjoy hot showers. He never mentions it again. He can say how he wakes up sometimes tasting an Angel's blood in his mouth. She never mentions it again. They both know neither sleeps well.

But it's all okay. They wake up and go through the motions of life. They leave behind all their nightmares for the day, even though they know night will bring another cycle of terror. Maybe it's easier because she knows he suffers with her.

She expected this to be worse, sleeping next to a horny boy. Never once did she wake up from repetitive, fleshy sounds emanating from under his covers. Never once has he tried to peek at her. Hell, he doesn't even snore.

That's why she teases him so much. There's no way he'd respond passionately or in kind. It's a perfect barrier and reminder. She's a woman and he's a boy. By showing him what could never be his, he knows his place. Kaji will have her, but Shinji will comprehend her. He will understand that she's the best, unattainable to him but at the same time willing to work with him.

They're teammates. They work, eat, and sleep together. _To be honest, it's sorta fun._

"Goodnight, Shinji."  
"Goodnight, Asuka."

* * *

Misato's voice: "Disaster! The entirety of Toyko-3 loses all power, and an Angel attacks. It will take a team effort to not only for the pilots to destroy the Angel, but also to even reach their Evas. Will they be able to put aside their personalities to save the day once again? Oh, and they're might be fan service. Who knows!"

* * *

Author's notes: I sorta wish I allowed myself to use adult POVs in this story. There's a ton in the next chapter that I can't use because of my self-inflicted limitation. Oh well!

Why is this chapter titled "Magma Diver + 1"? I basically added an interlude to this chapter. Neither was long, so I figured on putting them together, hence the "+ 1".

Also, I hinted at death during my preview for next episode, yet only the Angel died. Why? Actually… I came super close to killing off Asuka (temporarily. She just got absorbed into the Eva). In fact, this chapter originally had that, but it got WAY too depressing for me. It also shattered Shinji's relationship with Misato. I decided on doing this instead. (I've been going back and forth for a while on whether to use the temporary death or this.)

If you're wondering why Asuka is acting so flirty to Shinji and nice to Rei, I can offer a few reasons other than what I already said in this chapter. With Shinji, Asuka's comfortable around him. No, she hasn't let down all of her inner barriers, but she let Shinji sit metaphorically up against her inner walls. As for Rei, well… I asked myself, "What would Asuka do if Rei was still off-putting and weird but not a doll?" This's what I thought.

Speaking about Rei, I reveres a trope I see a lot in Eva fics. When Rei starts acting individual and opens up to others, she wears clothes other than her schoolgirl uniform. Thus, I decided to do the exact opposite. Because she acts individual and opened up to others, she chose to wear the same set of outfits. In a sense, wearing the uniform is Rei rebellious middle finger to society.

Oh, I finally mentioned Sakura again. Surprised by what I did there? :)

Five comments for one chapter! That's a record! Thanks y'all!:

ADeadDiehard, yeah, I thought it was pretty funny too how this Rei doesn't like Asuka much. Then again, what sister wouldn't be distrustful if an aggressive, extroverted girl had to share a bedroom with her twin? Sorry if you felt let down by this chapter in terms of the action department. If I killed of a character and then immediately resuscitated her, would anyone take the following deaths seriously? I didn't think so. This's still the "happy" section after all.

Guest, I was pretty surprised by how well I handled the comedy of that chapter. To be honest, I historically suck horribly in that department. Evangelion is one of the few things that could have me be laughing so hard in one episode and have me depressed as Hell later on.

Maxtime, I'm glad you brought this topic up. I could write a few thousand words (without spoilers) for my reasoning behind putting Shinji and Asuka in the same bedroom. For example, here's one reason. I realized this is the only way we could reach a happy ending (and by "happy", I mean "not having the Angels win even before Kaworu shows up"). I hope that's sorta confusing. Ha ha.

Well, Shinji would've opened up to Misato already, but he didn't because of her teasing. He doesn't want to embarrass Misato by telling her that she's been accidentally been telling incest jokes all along. Plus, he doesn't want to rock the boat. Also, you're right. Shinji pretty much had to tell Asuka that he and Rei are twins in order to build enough teamwork to defeat it.

Lastly, overprotective Rei was a blast to write. Don't worry. She still is. For example, did you know that if Rei and Asuka "hang out" more, that means the redhead spends less time with Shinji? Rei might've inherited some of Gendo's "plotting bastard" genes. Also, while this chapter didn't have major changes to what happened in the episode, it had a several smaller ones instead. It was a fun change for me to write.

Lautaro94, here's a cryptic message. On calm waters, sailors can crash their ships on jagged rocks that sit just below the surface.

Guest, I figured a fourteen year old boy would call that Angel exactly what it looks like. Also, you're right. Shinji was really pissed at their photos. (Toji and Kensuke should be glad that Rei wasn't in any of them.) Then again, why wouldn't anyone be pissed at two boys who not only took pictures of 13-14 years old girls undressing but proceeded to sell those pictures?

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

Asuka and Shinji are getting along better.

They also suffered burns from the volcano.

Rei rejected the idea of getting new clothes.

Rei has been bonding with Sakura.


	13. In the Still Darkness

Chapter 11

 _I always assumed I'd stay single. I'm not sure why. I just did, but I did wonder what a life with a partner would be like. I'd wake up every morning and see her face. I'd imagine it to be lovely. My father apparently had other ideas. I better… um, talk to him about it._

 _I wake up every morning and see Asuka. It's weird. Maybe I could've convinced myself that we're just fellow soldiers bunking together, but we're kids and she's so… showy. This morning, I got outa bed and picked up my school clothes. I was heading to the bathroom to change, but I heard Asuka get up. I turned around to say hello and all, but she ripped of her top and shorts to change, right there… standing in the middle of our room. I bolted out immediately, and I'm glad I only saw Asuka in her bra and panties._

 _Oddly enough, I know she sleeps without a bra._

* * *

Shinji stares at the phone. It's an unimportant phone on an unimportant street. Behind the device, various kanji covers the metal wall, probably from some bored teens. Cicadas buzz while a generic, upbeat tune plays as the phone's on hold. His thumping heartbeat drowns out both sounds in his ears.

He knows he will answer. He'll have to. Almost no one has this number, and being called from a random toll phone would pique his curiosity. He has to answer.

"What?"

With a single word, all of Shinji's resolve and plans come crashing down to the ground. Damn that cold, impatient word. Couldn't he just say _Hello_? Shinji hasn't talked his father since the day he fought the first Angel. Now, he wishes it stayed that way.

"I, um, well, father."  
"What is it? Spit it out."  
The fear in his voice pales to the fear that grips his soul. "I, uh, wanted to, well, talk to you… about, about living in the same-"  
"Has pilot Sohryu done anything wrong?"  
"No! I, um, just wanted… wanted to know why."  
"Don't bother me with such nonsense. I know you both will-"

He lost connection. _Fitting. I lost all connection to my father too._ He sighs. Rei and Asuka will be back any moment from the bathroom. _Why didn't they just use it at school?_

He feels a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks, Rei."  
"Trying to get rid of me?" _Oh, wait. It's a firm hand. Crap. Asuka's behind me._

Shinji spins around. Rei's nowhere in sight, and Asuka smirks at him. She takes her hand of his shoulder.

"A-Asuka?"  
"Of course! Trying to get rid of me using Daddy? Running away?" _Harsh words but a mischievous face? Is she angry, annoyed, or something else?_  
"No, I wanted to know why." He looks at his feet. "I know you'd want to have some privacy. You saved Tokyo-3, but NERV won't give you your own bedroom. I wanted to see if-"  
She pokes his head.  
"Ouch!"  
"Baka, I share my bedroom with a horny boy, but that boy does my laundry, makes me my meals, cleans my room, and doesn't act like a pervert. Pinky or Nerd would've been in jail or a hospital by now."  
"Is… is that a compliment?"  
"It's a fact." She strikes a proud pose, putting her hands on her hips. "Be thankful that you'll be the only male ever to sleep next to me, except my future husband Kaji of course!"  
"Yeah…" He nods.

Rei walks by both of them. Shinji and Asuka look at each other for a moment, then they follow her. The redhead takes a few bounds and surpasses the twins. _She always wants to be first, though the view is- Damn it! Eyes up, Shinji._

Asuka talks about stuff, but Shinji pays just partial attention. She mentions how Hikari invited her for dinner one night and how yet another pervert tried to cop a feel. She hugged the former while the latter became one eyed and had seven fingers broken. Oh, and that's before section 2 got to him. He feels proud for his… roommate.

Still, his mind thinks of other things. _She touched my shoulder. She did it in a nice way too. Was that the first time she ever initiated sorta friendly contact? Damn, it was. Cool? Too bad I don't even know why we're rooming together. Maybe I should ask Rei. She'd be able to figure that out._

"Rei?"  
"Yes."

Neither looks at each other. They walk in tandem, almost in sync like he can with Asuka.

"Why did Father bunk me with Asuka?"  
"I do not know."  
"Oh."

 _Well, there goes my brilliant plan. Crazy old bastard. Maybe Asuka's right and he is just pervy…_

They descend from the baking streets to the cooler underground. They reached one of NERV's entrances to the GeoFront. Flashes of him and Rei, just before that Ramiel Angel attacked, play in the back of his mind. It was here where she asked him _Don't you have faith in your own father's work?_ He didn't know, but she did. _I do, pilot Ikari._

 _Maybe I should trust more often._

Rei swipes her card through the scanner, but the door doesn't budge. She looks at her card, perhaps inspecting for damage. Shinji swipes his own, yet it achieves the same results. _Scratch the previous thought. I shouldn't trust that much. Just Rei… and Misato… and my friends… and I guess Asuka too._

"What are you doing?" Even though she sounds annoyed, she slides between the two pilots without bumping them. "Here, let me." She slides her card, and it does nothing. She repeats the action a few times while grunting. "Stupid thing!" She stomps her foot. "It must be broken. Damn it!"

"Um." Shinji looks around for other people. There's none. _Too bad people still leave this city, but I guess they're safer now._ "Should we call Misato?"

Rei already has her cell phone out. "This does not work either."

 _Huh, weird._

* * *

"It is still not connected." Rei puts down her cell phone. Their theory, that being underground caused temporary interference, has been disproved.

"This one too," says pilot Sohryu. She slams the payphone back into its holder. "The main and emergency cables are all down."  
Pilot Ikari looks back and forth to the two girls. "So what now?"

Rei takes her school bag off her shoulder and rummages through her papers. As she takes out her emergency handbook, the Second Child quickly tries to do the same. Rei reads the instructions and overhears the other two bickering. The word _dummkopf_ was used inappropriately. Her brother does not fit its definition.

"We should go to NERV headquarters ourselves." With those words, Rei stops their arguing.  
"Right, but before that we should decide which of us should be this group's leader," pilot Sohryu announces. Her intentions are already apparent. "Naturally, I have the best qualifications." Rei presumed correctly. "Any objections?" They remain silent. "Well, let's go!"

She turns to leave, striking a confident pose. Chin up, hands on her hips, a wide stance.

Rei looks in the other direction. "NERV is over this way. We can use the access port for Route 07."  
The Second Child's shoulders slouch for only a moment before she straightens back up. "In that case, let's go!"

She marches ahead of the twins, and Pilot Ikari shrugs his shoulders. They walk for a minute in silence until they reach the door.

He says, "But the doors won't work… Oh, we can open it manually."  
"Well Shinji, this looks like this's in your department." She strikes another pose in front of the door.

He grasps the manual crank, and Rei places her hands next to his.

"What are you doing, Wondergirl?"  
"He still suffers from burns. I will assist him."  
"You wanted to be the leader," he says. "But, when the going gets tough, you defer to me."  
"How else can I get things done without bossing you around, Third?"

They finish cranking the manual release open. He takes a few deep breathes.

Rei looks at the redhead. "Pilot Sohryu, do you know the difference between a boss and a leader?"  
"What?"  
"A leader leads. A boss drives."

She furrows her brow at those words. Then, she walks forward again. "Come on, slow pokes. Let's keep on moving."

"I didn't know you were into philosophy, Rei." He smiles.  
"Actually, that was history."

* * *

"This normally only takes two minutes. Are you sure that this's the right way?" Even the baka knows something's wrong. Did she take a wrong turn? Did they enter the wrong access port? She doesn't know.

"Of course I'm sure!" She forces confidence into her tone. "We should be at the GeoFront any minute now." They'd better be.  
"Uh, haven't I heard that four times already?"  
 _Of all the times for him to grow a pair of balls. Ug!_ "Why do you have to nitpick everything, Third?" She glares at her teammate. "Stop being negative!"

"Silence, please." Rei's voice cuts through their argument. Such impassive words contrast with their heightened ones. Knowing Wondergirl, she told them to be quiet for a reason. "Listen."

They do. It sounds as though someone speaks through a loudspeaker. She catches one word immediately. _Angel._ Oh shit. Hey, that voice seems familiar.

"Hyuga?" she and Shinji say at the same time, an effect of their sync training. "Hey! Hey!" they call out.  
"He cannot hear you," says Rei. "Listen."  
His voice echoes in the empty corridors. "There's an Angel approaching. An Angel is approaching."  
"We cannot waste more time. There is a shortcut."

"Hey Wondergirl, don't forget I'm the leader here! And, um, where is this shortcut?"

Thus, Rei shows them some kinda ventilation shaft. Asuka gets in first, since she's the leader. It does make her happy that Rei enters last, not because of spite though. Poor Shinji might die of embarrassment if he had to crawl behind Rei. Ew, incest. Plus, she gets to torture him more this way, since he's right behind her.

"Hey Shinji, feel free to look, but no touching."  
"I… I'd never do that!" _He still doesn't know how to say no without sounding like a douche. Maybe I should teach him, or Kaji could! Yes, then I will spend time with my future husband too! I'm so smart._

After a moment of silence, Shinji speaks up again. "Hey, just what are the Angels?"  
"Huh, why are you asking now, to us? Wouldn't Ritsuko or Misato be better?"  
"I don't know. It just doesn't make sense. Angels are messengers from God, right? Why are we fighting Angels?"  
"What are you, stupid? They attacked us. When someone attacks you, you can't just sit there and do nothing."

"Excuse me."  
They stop speaking for Rei.  
"They desire for their own propagation which is our cessation. Also, stop. We should exit here."

She opens a hatch and gracefully lowers herself to the ground below. Shinji falls. Asuka lands on him to cushion the impact. Of course, they have to pick from two doors neither of which indicate crap about the correct path. _Screw it._

"Let's see." She stands up and acts as though she's thinking. She guesses, "Let's take the one to the right."  
"I think the correct path is to the left." _Wondergirl contradicts me? Have both of them grown balls today?_  
Asuka opens her mouth to make a retort, but she remembers Rei's remarks. She shouldn't be bossing, not as a leader. She's too amazing to fail. "What makes you say that?"  
"Because those stairs lead up." She points down the right path. "That indicates the right door takes us to the surface."  
"Oh, um, good point! Let's go down the left path."

As they walk, Asuka berates herself. _Why didn't I notice that? Rei hardly notices if she's hungry, but she spots it while I don't? What kind of a genius am I? Ug, I hate being wrong. Why does piloting come so naturally to Shinji? Why does Rei seem so off, yet shows more situational awareness than me? It's not fair, none of it! Daddy Gendo even kept Rei here while sending Shinji off to some Godforsaken town. Like… what the Hell? Really?_

"Rei?" She tries to keep the malice out of her tone. "How come you're the Commander's favorite? Is that why he kept you here for the past five Angels?"  
"Asuka." He sounds worried. "This isn't the time for this."  
"You're always so proper too, like those Japanese wives perverted Western men fantasize over." She steps in front of Wondergirl, just to get some response. "Was zur Holleis wrong with you?"

She blinks. At last, she at least shows some acknowledgement to Asuka. "I do not want to act in this manner. I apologize, but I am unable to act in a more human fashion." Her gaze looks through the redhead's eyes. "Both the Commander and I would have preferred a situation where I left with my brother, but the situation did not permit it." She walks again, forcing the other two to catch up. "That is all I may say."

No one says another word for quite some time.

* * *

This air duct leaves even less room for them to squeeze through. This time, Shinji's in the back, but he's still behind Asuka. He doesn't dare look up. Still, he's happy. Even with an Angel attacking, a warm feeling tickles his senses. Rei wanted to leave with him, or at least she wishes she did. She chose him over their father because… well, love.

"Feel free to look up my dress, Shinji!" _Oh my gods, will she ever stop!_  
"I won't look. That's for boyfriends or husbands or something like that."  
"Well, we're roommates, what's the differ-"

They're interrupted by a sudden lack of a floor. The pair falls from the ducts to the ground in a jumbled up mess, sorta like the battle after that double Angel. Rei lands on her feet and balances herself by spreading her arms. They fall mere meters from Dr. Akagi.

"Ah, that's where you've been," she says. "We've been waiting for you."  
"Prepare for manual entry!" _Was that Father?_  
"The Evas?" he asks the lead scientist.  
"Already on standby." She points behind her and grins. True to her word, the Evas only need their pilots.  
"How? There's no power."  
"It was all done by hand. The Commander did it."

She looks up, so he follows her stare. His father, with all his might, manually pulls on the ropes to insert his Eva's entry plug.

"Commander Ikari believed in you and prepared everything."

Shinji nods and runs to the changing rooms. His head floats in a daze while his body puts on its suit from memory. _Father believed in me. He thought I'd come. He sweats for me, but why can't he like me, talk to me, or spend time with me?_

He runs to the entry plug and breathes in the metallic tasting liquid. The insertion jolts him around more than normal. It's… lonely. No one's in here talking to him. Not Misato, not that nice Lieutenant Ibuki lady. He hasn't even connected to the girls yet. It's just him and the monster. The LCL hasn't been heated, so it's cold. Not just on the outside too. Shinji shakes, since in this moment, he's alone in his own universe.

"Come on, Third!" Asuka shouts. "Let's go fight an Angel!" _Ah, a voice._

Shinji rips out of his restraints as Lieutenant Hyuga shouts over a loudspeaker. It's something about the Angel being overhead. _Well, now we know where it is. Oh, where's Misato?_

Since the designers assumed that the Evas would be transported up using their tech, they didn't design Eva sized passageways. As a result, the trio crawls through the corridors on their hands and knees, in the same order they once used. Asuka, Shinji, Rei.

"Let's kill this Angel and get onto more important things," Asuka whines over the intercom. "I'll have no way to shower this LCL out of my hair! What a disaster."  
"The vertical shaft is ahead, pilot Sohryu."  
"Get out of my way!" Asuka kicks open the door.

Spreading their arms and legs apart, they shimmy up the cylindrical shaft. Asuka complains more, but he tunes her out. _Hey, what's that orange stuff?_

"It is acid. Watch out." Rei's external battery melts from contact.

All of a sudden, they fall onto Shinji and plummet down together. He forces his arms and legs out again. His hands and feet burn from the friction, but he'll be damned if he lets the girls die due to a little pain. They grind to a stop. Asuka jumps off him and into the nearest horizontal shaft. She pulls up Rei who, in turn, pulls up Shinji. They expel their bulky external batteries.

His sister looks determined, not in appearance but her eyes. "It appears that the Angel intends to attack headquarters directly using that acid."  
"What are we going to do?"  
"Dummkopf, we're going to beat it!"  
"But how?"  
"Give me a sec."

He sees Asuka close her eyes. Her breathing slows. _That genius brain better prove its worth. If not, we're screwed._ She opens her blue eyes.

"I've got an idea. There'll be three positions. Defense, offense, and backup. Defense's job will be shielding offence with an AT field. Offence will engage and destroy the target. Backup will propel offence to the Angel using her AT shield. How does that sound?"  
"I will take the defensive position."  
"Not so fast, Wondergirl. Shinji will be defensive. I'll be backup. You'll kill the Angel."  
"What!"  
"Shinji, you and I have the best AT fields. Since you'll never let Rei be hurt, you'll be defense. Any more questions?" She waits a moment. "All right then. Charge!"

Shinji creates a circular AT field, and Asuka creates one underneath. Rei jumps in the middle. _I must protect Rei. I must protect Rei!_ They move up their fields together, in perfect sync with one another. Like riding an elevator, Rei rises up.

She pulls out her prog knife. His AT field slams into the Angel, he can feel it, but he loses sight of Rei. Orange liquid falls down the shaft. He doesn't know if it's acid or blood from the Eva or Angel.

"Rei!" he screams. He scrambles to climb up the shaft. He has to do something for her! A firm hand grips his shoulder and pulls him back, forcing him to stay hidden in their horizontal shaft.  
"Shinji." Her voice sounds soft. "Trust your sister. There's nothing else we can do now."

 _I must protect Rei, but… I can't? I have to be there for her! I have to… what can I do? If I'm climbing up, I could cause a distraction. Rei could get killed… could've been killed by my stupidity. I… I have to wait. I have to trust her._

"The target has been destroyed." Her voice washes over him like a cool breeze. He sees her face. She's tired, panting, but alright.  
"Great job, Wondergirl!"  
"And I appreciate your leadership qualities, pilot Sohryu."

Shinji smiles. They did it again. This time, all of them.

* * *

Rei sits up with her hands wrapped around her knees. Her plugsuit squeaks, but she does not mind. They elected to wear their uniforms. Her brother mentioned they should suffer together… since pilot Sohryu could not clean her hair. This puzzles the girl, since she does not see the logic in it; however, she complied. He wanted to do this, so she did.

Then, the Third Child had another idea, one which Rei found more logical and fulfilling. He asked a section 2 detail to drive them to a specific ridge. He told them that Captain Katsuragi took him there after his first battle. The guards drove them as requested. As they sit overlooking the city below, the two men stand behind them and scan for potential assailants.

Rei does enjoy the view. _This is what we save._

Her twin muses, "It's ironic. Without electricity or artificial light, the sky can look so beautiful at night."  
"Yeah, but without all the lights, it seems that there are no humans here." The Second Child seems on edge. While comforted by being close to her fellow pilots.

As if hearing her words, the lights turn on. Humanity makes it presence known to all. Even from the heavens, a viewer could see man's lights.

"There, I feel much more comfortable this way." She sighs.  
"Man fears the darkness, and so he scrapes away at the edges of it with fire." _Like you, Second Child._  
"More philosophy, Wondergirl?"  
"Yes."  
Shinji looks from the city to the girls. "So, is that what makes mankind a special species? Fire?"  
Rei gives a small smile. "No, we are special because we wonder if we are special."

* * *

"Yes, Rei?" Commander Ikari sets down his paperwork and turns to Rei. He pushes his glasses up. "It is four in the morning. Is something wrong?"

"No, I have a request." She steps into his room where it is warmer. The halls are cold at night. The smell of Doctor Akagi's perfume still lofts through the air. "It is for the benefit of my teammates and to improve our combat capabilities."  
"Take a seat." He motions to his dining table.

Rei sits in one chair. Commander Ikari takes the other.

"It would prove productive to assign us as officers, thus revoking our civilian status."  
"Why?"  
"Because your noninterference in pilot Ikari's personal matters causes him to feel… alone, even though I, Captain Katsuragi, and even the Second Child provide close company."  
"And my recognition would ease his loneliness."

He folds his hands in front of his mouth. She hopes her brother never learns this pose.

"Yes, and pilot Sohryu should be awarded First Lieutenant."  
"Why?"  
"Her leadership skills have potential. We defeated the Angel due to her whit. She should be designated as the lead pilot and receive training to harness her capabilities."  
He smiles. "And take time away from her otherwise spent with pilot Ikari."  
Rei blushes. "That would be an effect."  
"That is not part of my scenario, but I will have her trained by the Major."  
She tilts her head. "Major?"

* * *

Misato pats Asuka on the shoulder. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

"You don't sound so convinced yourself." She signs. "But I've done this before. How bad can a second time be anyway?"  
The woman chuckles. "Shinji's worried about you."  
She crosses her arms. "That baka is always worried. Plus, he stopped at the elevator, too afraid to be on the same floor as his father… Well, here goes nothing."

Asuka opens the doors to the vampire's shadowy catacomb. Gendo stands next to his desk, looking creepy as always. _Why does that bastard wear sunglasses in a dark room? Is he secretly blind or something?_

"Come in," he says. His voice cuts through the air like a breeze carrying the scent of a rotting animal.

Asuka walks inside and closes the door.

"Pilot Sohryu, due to your actions during the recent combat missions, NERV has designated you as the lead pilot among the Evangelion and given the rank of first lieutenant. Major Katsuragi will train you as necessary for leading the other lieutenants when she becomes indisposed during a crisis. That is all."

Asuka nods and walks out the door. Her genius intellect spins at the sudden shift in her world.

"Done already? Did it go well?" Her guardian sounds concerned.  
The girl sits in a chair. "I'm now a lieutenant. We all are."  
Misato stares at the girl. _I bet I gave the same face to Shinji's weird dad._  
"And I'm supposed to learn how to lead them when you aren't around, Major."  
"Major?"

* * *

Misato's voice: "Woo hoo! I got promoted! That means I can buy more beer! Anyway… um, after Misato got promoted to Major, Shinji gets to learn about her personal vendetta against the Angels. Then, it's up to the entire Eva team to stop the largest and most dangerous Angel yet. Oh, and that ponytailed asshole will come by again… Oh, I hate his guts! Oops, I did it again… Er, anyway, don't miss the next chapter, The Value of a Miracle. There may also be fan service. Who knows?"

* * *

Author's notes: Maybe I'm having too much fun with my _Misato's voice_ part of the chapters… Nah.

So, after three chapters mostly focusing on Shinji and Asuka's relationship, this one bridges out to include Gendo and Rei as well. It ended up being shorter than my last few ones. I won't put much fluff into my story, and there wasn't much else I wanted to do in this chapter.

However, the next one has a bunch of fun stuff. The six teens are all in the same place at the same time. Misato finally gets some more scenes. The poor woman spent pretty much the entire chapter locked in an elevator. She needs screen time! Then again, pretty much all of the adult character get jipped because of my teen-based POVs.

Did anyone notice the Theodore Roosevelt quote I put in here? I felt it was appropriate for the moment and that the one who said it would've read a bunch of quotes previously.

Oh, one other thing. I learned this writing this chapter, but schools in Japan apparently had half days on Saturdays up until the early 2000s. Thus, that's why the three are walking to the GeoFront with their school bags in the middle of the day. Also, Shinji has known Asuka for just under a month from the (very specific) timeline I'm using. This chapter took place on Saturday, September 19, 2015.

Replies to comments:

ADeadDiehard: I don't recall any fanfics where Rei and Sakura form a close bond, but I think it makes sense for "my" Rei. Rei's more like Shinji younger sister in their relationship, she wants to keep her brother safe, and she's smart. Those are just a few parallels between the two girls. There's also reasons why I did this. Y'all will just have to wait to find out why.

What do I mean by _section_? You'll see… eventually… :)

PrometheusDark, I bet you waived your flag even higher when you read the start of this chapter. I'm having fun writing various ways for Asuka to mess with Shinji. I'm very glad to see you love the way I'm handling these characters.

Yep, Rei has a rebel side… by wearing her school uniform. Only she could make that rebellious. Plus, it makes her more memorable. I hope my readers will read another fanfic where Rei opens up by wearing non-school clothes and think to themselves "Hey, I remember one where Rei opened up by still wearing her uniform."

Asuka is letting Shinji closer than she did at canon at this point, though it's not at the levels of a pairing fic either. It's a middle ground. Shinji should just be glad that this's an Asuka who holds some respect for him (while still jokingly flirting all the time) instead of being bitchy Asuka, cardboard-cutout-of-evil Asuka, angry pirate Asuka (from Rebuild 3.0), or just plain angry Asuka. Ha ha.

Lastly, yes… poor Shinji. The kid can't keep himself together whenever Asuka reminds him that she is a _she_. Though, he's just trying to be polite. While he doesn't understand her much at all, he does respect his fellow pilot… and now commander. How will that play out?

Hello There, actually… I'd love to hear more about what you do and don't expect. In fact, that goes to all of my amazing readers. If you typed out a thousand words of predictions, I'd joyously eat it up. I can only surmise what my readers expect from the reviews, and I have several blank areas still.

Some of you see a ShinSuka pairing. Some think Gendo did something purposefully to Rei. But, no one commented about the Forth Child. No one mentioned how there's still no S2 engine recovered for Unit 04, and I'm almost certain that no one can accurately predict what'll happen in the episodes 15 to 21 section. Feel free to tell me them.

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

The pilots get along better than canon (which's a pretty low bar to be honest since they were so dysfunctional).

Rei kills Matarael.

The pilots become Lieutenants.

Asuka becomes their lead pilot.


	14. The Value of a Miracle

Chapter 12

 _I don't remember my mom. I wish I did. Does this make me like Rei? I know I loved her and she loved me, but I can't remember her face. If she came back to life, would I be able to admit that I couldn't recall the woman who gave me life? Rei can't remember me or her. Father… he remembers us all but acts like Mom and I don't exist. He destroyed every picture of Mom._

 _Misato… What is she? I live under her roof, so she's my guardian. I follow her orders during combat, so she's my commanding officer. I listen to her tease me about girl all the time, so she's my friend. I guess she's just another person I'm in a weird relationship with. Toji went from angrily punching me to a friend. Rei went from sister to amnesiac stranger to sister. Asuka is… I don't know where to start with her. My father might as well be a stranger to me. I may not know how to classify Misato, but I do know one thing. She'll always be there for me, the first person in Tokyo-3 to offer closeness to me._

* * *

"Thanks for letting us in, Shinji. That rainstorm came out of nowhere." Toji grabs the towels to dry off.

"So, where's Misato?" Kensuke dabs the water off his glasses with the only remaining dry spot on his shirt.  
"Oh, I think she's still sleeping. She's been working all night a lot lately."  
"Well then," says the military nerd. "I guess we better be quiet so we don't wake her up, right Toji? Horaki wouldn't like it if you were-"

"Hey!" Asuka pokes her head around from the curtain to the shower room. "They better not be here to take pictures!"  
"They're drying themselves." _I wish they'd get along better. It'd be fun to have us pilots and the guys out for some fun doing… whatever normal kids do these days. Oh, we'd take Hikari too. That'd keep Toji occupied._  
"Don't die from a cold, but I'll kill you if you peep while I'm changing!" _Is it weirder that she flirts with me or that she only flirts with me if we're alone? Well, except for Rei._  
Toji crushes his towel in rage. "Who'd want to see a snake change its skin anyway?" He shakes his head.

Misato's door slides open. She doesn't have her usual morning zombie-like state. She seems almost… awake. Plus, she's dressed for work. _Is she going on another meeting thing like that time with Jet Alone?_

"Misato, did we wake you?" says Kensuke.  
"No, I was awake already. Thanks for asking though." She walks up to them and smiles. "Shinji, don't forget about the harmonics test at the lab this evening."  
"Oh, right."  
"Hey Asuka, did you hear that?"  
"Yes, ma'am!"

Kensuke tilts his head, then his eyes open up in surprise. "Wow! Um, I mean congratulations on your promotion to Major, Misato." He and Toji bow.  
"You're too kind."  
"No, ma'am. You deserved it."  
"Well, I'll see you guys later." She opens the door and leaves.  
As the door closes, his two friends shout out, "Have fun!"

They turn to Shinji. "Man, that's so cool!" Kensuke shouts. " Misato's the third most powerful person at NERV. She's the third most powerful person in the world! A major. Damn. I'd do anything to be a major."  
Asuka leans out the door, now wearing her yellow sundress. "If you two dummkopfs think that's cool, then bow to Lieutenant Ikari too." _I should've asked her not to mention that._  
"Oh my gods!" they both scream.  
"Guys, calm down." A sly smile creeps across his face. "Plus, all my praise should be diverted to the lead pilot, first lieutenant Sohryu."

Fear flashes before their eyes. Asuka cracks her knuckles. Pen Pen waddles to the living room. "Wark." He waddles out, since even he could tell the tension in the air could be cut with a prog knife.

"Uh, we gotta go." They run out the door without further explanation.

"They still don't like you."  
She plops herself down at the dining room table. "Yeah, but I don't like them either, especially Pinky."  
Shinji sits down on the seat opposite of her. "I wish we all could get along."  
"If Hikari's there or even Rei, I could just avoid them."  
"Huh."  
"You thinking about something?"  
"Um." He scratches the back of his head. "I may have thought of a way for us to be all together."  
She raises her eyebrows. "Really, what's that?"  
"What do you think about giving Misato, um, a promotion party?"

* * *

It's just him and Misato in the car. Asuka went home early. She wouldn't trust Toji and Kensuke to be left alone in their house. What was it she said? Oh, she'd have at least two fewer pairs of panties… Ew. Hikari should be showing up right now. He sighs. Even though it was his idea, his friends are doing the work. He only has to ensure Misato goes home instead of a bar, and she did decide to go home this time. It's just quiet.

"Oh, by the way," he says. "It's nice that you're promoted."  
"Thank Shinji, but to tell you the truth, I'm really not that thrilled with it."  
"I understand. It sucks being a lieutenant, getting praised, all of that. At least Asuka's happy."

The conversation dies, a rare occurrence with Misato. Something troubles her, more than even the promotion. _What is it though? I should find out._

She pulls up to the apartment, and they take the elevator up. She chuckles at the paper sign taped to the doorway. _Congratulations on Your Promotion!_ Maybe they should've been more subtle. Oh well.

"Surprise!" yells out the others. Hikari seems to be keeping an eye on Toji and Kensuke.

Misato grabs a beer and sits at their table with Shinji. "Thanks guys."  
"Actually," says Toji. "This was Shin-man's idea."  
"Well, thank you, Shinji."  
He slinks down into his chair. "Um, it was nothing. Sorry."

"Don't apologize, dummkopf." She crosses her arms.  
"Sorry."  
"Ug, when's Kaji coming over anyway? After hanging around Pinky and Nerd, it'll be nice to be around a real man."  
"Hey, I'm super manly!" Toji's face turns red.  
"Toji!" He sits down immediately under the glare of Hikari. "You have no room to speak after what you did to her."

They descend into an incoherent squabbling of words, screams, and other odd sounds. Shinji clenches his fist. They aren't getting along. It didn't work.

"You okay, Shinji?" Her quiet words pierce through the racket.  
"I'm okay. I just wanted them to be friendly. Now, it's so noisy."  
"Don't worry about it."  
"Are you okay, with being promoted? You don't seem happy."  
She takes a sip of her beer. "I am, a little. I can buy more beer, but I don't do this for beer."  
"Why do you do this? Countless hours of paperwork, the weight of the world on your shoulders every attack."  
"I'll tell you later. I promise."  
"Thanks."

The doorbell rings. "Kaji!" Asuka squeals.

The door opens, and his excited roommate is correct; however, someone else accompanies the ponytailed man. For only the second time in his life, Shinji sees Dr. Akagi wearing something other than a lab coat, just street clothes.

"Hi." He smiles and waves at the group. "We just happened to meet on the way." _Why would he say that?_

"That's rather suspicious," Misato and Asuka deadpan together. _Oh, that's why. Jealousy. Why does Asuka like him so much?_  
"Oh, are you jealous?" _Thanks for stating the obvious, mister._ His two roommates cross their arms. "Anyway, I'd like to offer my congratulations to Major Katsuragi." He bows. "I guess this means I'll have to take my complaints to someone else now."  
"What are you talking about?" She takes another gulp of beer.  
"Well, commanders Ikari and Fuyutsuki never left Japan at the same time before. They must feel our new Major must be really dependable." _My father left Japan again?_ "In fact, they're at the south pole." Misato cringes at those words. Why? _Then again, why isn't Rei here?_

* * *

Children play at these grounds. As such, people saw fit to name it a playground. They run, scream, and tumble. They play games that have existed far beyond human memory, such as tag. Was an ancient ancestor on fire, and others ran away from him? Did someone have too much fun fleeing from a leper?

Maybe, tag ingrained itself as part of human psychology. No one wants to be the monster that all flee from in terror. _Like myself._ For the monster, she has to become close to another, to touch him. Then, she becomes free at the price of his freedom. _Like Shinji._

Rei sighs. This is to be a pleasurable experience. She will not allow herself to dampen the moment by acknowledging reality. Thus, she pushes the swing as it comes back to her once again.

"Can you go higher, Rei?" asks Sakura. She kicks her legs. For a time far too long for a child to bear, the girl had casts on her legs. Now, the shackles were torn off, replaced by braces.  
"I will not place you in danger."  
"But I don't mind. I haven't gotten on a swing in so long. This's so much fun!"  
"Your brother will become depressed if you are hurt again, especially under my protection."  
"Fine."

The joint where the metal chain of the swing meets the bar of the swing set creaks. It maintains a perfect rhythm unless Sakura shifts in her seat. Some children stare at the twosome. A little girl with braced legs and a pale girl with blue hair do not frequent playgrounds. Rei pays them no heed. Let them stare. Her friend does not seem to care either. Her emotional state soars much too high for those worries.

"Tell me a story?"  
"What manner of story?"  
"One about you. I never had a friend like you before. I wanna know more."

Rei forces her hand not to twitch for the safety of the girl. _Of my life, about two thirds lies outside my recollection. A fourth remains classified. The remaining twelfth may not hold the attention of a young girl._

"Stories about me are not worthwhile."  
She lets out a huff. "Of course they are. They'd be about you. Tell me something that is different about you."  
"I have blue hair."  
She giggles. _Did she qualify my statement as a joke?_ "I know that. What 'bout something I don't know?"  
 _What information will not result in man in black suits abducting you tonight? Other physical deficiencies would not be appropriate to discuss, especially in public._ "I dislike eating meat."  
"Why?"  
"I once saw a fish in the GeoFront's lake."  
"Why did that make you like eating vegetables?"  
"Because the fish was living."

Noticing the girl's confusion, Rei inhales. This requires a longer explanation.

"This a couple of years ago. My… guardian took me to observe the large, square lake. A small fish jumped out of the water. I do not know if it was to avoid a larger fish or to consume an insect; however, it caught my attention. I realized that the fish was alive, similar but not the same to humans. If I ate the fish, then I must have caused it to be killed first. I do not wish to kill."  
"But, why?"  
"Eating life is not just the cessation of that life, but all lives to follow. If you were to die, then your children, your children's children, and so on would also die. Worse, no one would remember their deaths."  
"Oh, so you risk your future kids' liver whenever you go fight in the-"  
"You know?"  
"I'm super smart."  
"Apparently. But, I do not risk my future children's lives, since they will not exist."  
"So, you don't want kids?"  
"I am unable to." Sadness seeps through her voice.  
"Stop pushing me."

Rei stops. Sakura slides off and hobbles to the teen. She wraps her arms around Rei and squeezes.

"I thought you needed a hug. You must be feeling sad. Hugs make you feel better."  
"They do."

* * *

Four people stand in the room. On one side, the three pilots who've saved the city stand. On the other side, a raving lunatic just explained her plans to kill this Angel.

"What!" Asuka holds out and clenches her hand for effect. "You want us to catch it with our hands?"  
"That's right." Misato sounds chipper. _But she was the one who evacuated the whole damn city, arschloch._ "While maintaining your A.T. fields, you'll catch before it hits the ground." _And why are we doing this debriefing in the commander's room? And why is his room bright now? Ug, that old pervert must've been keeping everything dark just to look like a spooky badass._  
"But, what if it doesn't fall where you think it will?" _That's using you brains, Shinji! Ha, what a stupid plan you have, Misato._  
"Then there'll be a little boom."  
If they fail, then her teammates and underlings would perish. "What if the Evas can't handle the impact?"  
Their major shrugs. "Then, we'll all be blown to the moon."  
"Then what are our chances?" he asks.

Wondergirl speaks up. _Took you long enough._ "Our chances are one in a hundred thousand." _Scheisse._  
"Yeah but, um." Asuka can almost see the sweat forming on Misato's brow. "But we still have a chance."  
"If we pull this off, it'll be a miracle of Biblical proportions."

Misato slips back into her military face. "Miracle aren't something that just happen. They're something people make happen."  
"And you're so willing to sacrifice us all now? Not content with dunking just me in magma this time?"  
"I'm sorry. This is the best plan, the only plan."  
The girl takes a step forward. "How can you call this a plan!"  
"It's not really, I guess. I'm not forcing any of you to do this. You may leave now if you want."

Nobody moves.

"I see. So you are all okay with this?"

Nobody moves.

"Regulations state that all of you are supposed to write out a will. Have you done that yet?" _Thanks for being crazy and morbid._  
"I don't need to write one. Anyone who I'd give my stuff to would be dying with me today."  
"Agreed." _Does Wondergirl sound more solemn than normal, or is it just me?_ "There is no point to it."  
"Yeah, me neither." _Thank you, Shinji._  
"Okay, but when all of this is over, I'll treat my wonderful pilots to a steak dinner!"  
"Um, thanks?" says Asuka.

Misato walks away.

"Did she forget that you don't like eating meat?"  
"Apparently, Shinji."  
"Well, I'm not going to let any member of my squad be left out. Rei, I'll choose the place, and it will have dishes without meat. I promise."

Rei smiles.

Unfortunately, that was the only good thing that happened for quite some time. They changed into their plugsuits, but she had to store her clothes in a locker instead of a wash bin. The janitors evacuated. Then, they were taken to the control room, staffed just by those three bridge technicians, doctor bottle-blonde, and their insane temporary commander. Everyone else evacuated and for a good reason too. Misato placed the Evas around the city randomly. _No, woman's intuition. I feel SO safe in the hands of the woman who's main instinct is "get more beer"._

Now, the three ride up to their Evas on an elevator. Without proper maintenance crews (since they evacuated too), they shut down all the smaller ones forcing them to take this one. Isn't this the one used to transport parts of their units? Oh well, she'll ask later.

"Hey, Asuka?"  
"Yeah?" _What does he want?_  
"Why did you become an Eva pilot?"

 _Why did I? That's easy. Why do I? Well… Huh, why do I still pilot?_

"I became on to show the world how great I was, of course."  
"So, it's a way of proving you exist."  
"Yeah, I guess you're right." _So that's why I must be piloting for a different reason._ "What about you, Rei?"

She doesn't turn to face them. "I pilot to become one and to protect Shinji. He already knows this."  
"Huh, what about you, Third?"  
"I got inside to protect Rei. I still do, but I have more people now. Toji, Kensuke, Misato. I guess everyone, including you."  
"Me? I don't need protecting."  
"That doesn't mean I can't try."

The elevator screeches to a halt. Asuka and Rei step out. Time to get into the Evas.

"Hey, Asuka?"  
"Yeah?" She turns around. For some reason, he stares at the ground and twitches his hand.  
"You used the past tense when, um, you said why you pilot Evas."

A cool breeze blows by, or maybe it's just her nerves that makes Asuka shiver. Looking at her feet, she hopes he doesn't notice her checks turning red. "Because I proved to someone I exist, without the Eva."  
"Oh, that's great!" He looks up and smiles. It startles her enough to look at him as well. "Who was it? Mr. Kaji? Misato? Um, Hikari maybe?"

Asuka shakes her head. She walks to her roommate, and he flinches, unsure of what she'll do next. She knows the thoughts in his head. _Will_ _she poke me? Flirt to embarrass me? Call me a baka? Yell at me?_

She hugs him.

"Um, Asuka. I, er."  
In a soft voice, she says, "This isn't being flirty, Shinji. I'm doing this as your friend. Relax."

The tension leaves his body. He slowly raises his arms up to hug her back. They stand like that for over a minute. They let go of each other at the same time.

"Be safe," they say in the same moment. Yet again, Asuka curses their sync training. Then, they break out into laughter.

* * *

Shinji sits inside the entry plug. He tried forcing everything out, but his thoughts are too jumbled. Instead, he focuses on the many things on his mind.

 _Asuka hugged me and was… nice. She also said I'm her friend. I guess it's official now. We're friends, good friends. I shouldn't expect her to be nice all the time now, but… maybe it'll get better. At least she might not tease me so much, with her words or her body. Bad Shinji! Don't think like that. I should do something nice back as a thank you._

 _She also sorta said that I'm the reason she doesn't pilot to prove she exists anymore. She said I already realized that. What does it mean though? Everyone knows she exists. I do, Misato does, Rei does, Hikari does… With her being the only confirmed pilot, everyone knows about Asuka. Then, what did she mean? Only I know she exists?_

 _Maybe… Maybe it's just being a friend, one that sorta understands her._

He sighs. This Angel should show up soon. Standing here waiting is like holding one's breathe for too long. The tension might kill him before the Angel arrives.

He lets himself drift off to another memory. It's another one that's been on his mind.

"Shinji," said Misato. "Yesterday, you asked me why I joined NERV."

They were standing on the balcony, overlooking the city covered by the orange rays of the setting sun.

"It began with my father. He lived for his work to the exclusion of everything else. I was never able to forgive him for that. In fact, at times, I even hated him."  
"That sounds like my father," he said.  
"He never really took care of me or my mother. His friends always said he was too sensitive and fragile, but the truth was that he was such a weak person. He didn't want to face reality, so avoiding his family was easier than dealing with it. When my mother decided to divorce him, I was actually happy. I was sick of hearing her cry herself to sleep. When my dad got upset about it, I laughed at him. I thought he got what he deserved.  
"But, then he sacrificed himself to save my life during the Second Impact. I was the only survivor at ground zero. I didn't know if I loved or hated him. The only thing I knew for certain was that I wanted to destroy the Angels who caused Second Impact. That's why I joined NERV. I have to avenge him, to be free from his shadow forever."

Shinji shakes his head. _I won't let your shadow cover me, Father. I won't let it smother Rei either. I promise._

Misato's voice comes over the intercom. "The Angel has been sighted. All Evas, get on your marks." Shinji crouches, ready to sprint. "We can only give you a rough estimated trajectory based from our optical sightings. The Magi will guide you to ten thousand meters. After that, it's up to you. I'm placing my trust in all of you."

The umbilical cable disconnects. On his visual feed, he sees the targeted area. He sprints.

He makes his legs move faster than he thought possible. Hell, human legs can't move this fast. His feet get pummeled by debris. Houses, stores, streets. All gone thanks to him, but it doesn't matter. If he arrives even a second too late, then it's all gone anyway. _I hope everyone did evacuate._

He sees it. A giant orange eye with two smaller eyes connected by thin orange robs. It's huge, almost the size of the GeoFront. Oh, it also plunges to the ground like a meteor. _Oh shit._

"Spreading A.T. field at maximum!" He stands on top of the hill as the Angel falls from the heavens. _Too bad I only can do this during combat. Huh, will I get squished like an ant under a boot? I hope not. There's too many things I want to do. I want to see those seeds I gave Rei bloom into a flower. I want to see Sakura run around like a normal kid. I want to see Misato free herself from her father. I want to see Asuka._

The Angel slams onto his A.T. field and neutralizes it. With his bare hands, he pushes up against the Angel, somehow still thrusting down with some unseen force. He feels the bones in his arms crack. _Screw pain. They need me to hold on._ He lets out a scream of utter agony. _Just a few moments longer. They have to be here soon, right?_

"Asuka, expand your field!" _Was that Rei yelling and using Asuka's name?_  
"Already on it!" _Oh, she must be close too._

At the same time, the sole Eva becomes a team of three. Rei expands her own A.T. field only for it to be canceled out too. She resorts to Shinji's more physical methods.

Asuka shouts, "Stop hurting Shinji!" She plunges her knife into the massive red core. It pierces through the surface. She twists the blade, and the core glows.

"Expand your fields!" their lead pilot orders. "Contain the blast."

Shinji and Rei do as they're told. A blinding and deafening explosion smothers their beasts of war. Then, it stops. The hill became a crater. The three Evas lie in the dirt, without power but intact.

He ejects the entry plug. It thuds on the ground, and he opens the hatch, grunting from residual pain. By the other two Evas, his teammates climb out dazed but unharmed.

"Hey baka, how's your arms!" she yells over the distance. They jog towards him.  
"Just lingering pain."

They stand next to him, panting. He sees the smiles on their lips, matching his own.

"The recovery team was also evacuated. It may be hours before they may come to retrieve us," Rei says.  
"Ug, my hair will be ruined again."  
"The hair at my length is more manageable. You could cut it shorter if this remains a problem for you."  
Asuka raises her eyebrows but refrains from getting angry. "Thanks but no thanks. My hair's beautiful the way it is."

Shinji feels like there's another, unspoken reason, but he lets it go.

"Well now what? No offence, but you two sometimes have less personality than Pen Pen."  
"We could, um, tell stories about ourselves. Get to know each other better." Shinji rubs his arms trying to decrease the aching pain.  
"Fine. I'll let you two know more about my awesomeness, but let's have Wondergirl go first."  
She looks at Asuka then at Shinji. She tilts her head. "Have I ever told you why I dislike meat?"

* * *

Rei blushes. It is more of a slight reddening of the cheeks, but it qualifies as a blush anyway. No one notices, since the red tinge of the lights masks her change in complexion. _Thank you, Lieutenant Sohryu._

"A ramen stand?" Major Katsuragi asks.  
"Well, we know how poor you are, Misato. This'll be fine, and since there's no meat, Rei will eat with us too." The Second Child turns to the server. "I'll have shark fin ramen with roast pork. Also, supersize it."

As Rei and the others order their meal, she glances at her lead pilot. Even though the redhead has her food, she does not eat. Instead, she sits on a bench and hums to herself. _I did not expect her to have a positive disposition considering the hours LCL fluid festered in her hair. I will not complain, however, since it seems to put pilot Ikari in a better mood as well._

After Rei receives her bowl of garlic ramen, she sits next to the Second Child.

She says in a low enough voice for the other two to not hear, "Thank you for hugging my brother."  
Lieutenant Sohryu almost drops her bowl on the ground. "You saw all of that?" she whispers.  
"Yes… I misjudged you."  
"What do you mean?"  
Rei stares at her soup. "I thought you would be harsh… cruel to Shinji. I was wrong, mostly. I ask for your forgiveness."  
"Tell no one, and I will."  
"Thank you."

The Second Child lets out a small smirk, though the she appears troubled that her display of platonic affection was observed.

Their fellow pilot and his guardian sit down on the bench.

"Hey, Misato?" he asks.  
"Yeah?" she says in the middle of a slurping bite.  
"When my father praised me today, I realized I was out of his shadow."  
The Major stops eating her noodles. Dozens hang suspended from her mouth half submerged in her bowl.  
"His praise, it didn't mean much. It was sorta like a stranger congratulating me. He… He's not family anymore. Not like us."  
"Us?" This time, the Second Child does drop her bowl. It clanks on the pavement.  
"Um, yeah."

Rei takes another sip of her steaming soup, but it is not the soup that makes her feel warm inside.

* * *

Misato's voice: "Since the pilots have about one minute of doing anything (which is complaining about being naked) during the next part of the story, I'll just tell you it all now! They're all naked. They get in the some test Eva thingies. They get ejected from the thingies because there's an Angel in the HQ. The Angel commits suicide because Ritsuko makes it feel bad with her laptop. The pilots sit in a field in their entry plugs naked. Oh, and their ages are fourteen, thirteen, and fourteen respectively. Do you still want that fan service?"

Misato's voice (again!): "Woo hoo! I just narrated an entire episode! Anyway, SEELE wants to get updates on the Angels and stuff. But… why would they though? They were all killed. End of story. Oh, oops. Uum, Rei's the one Gendo sends to do the debriefing. Also, Shinji and Rei swap places with testing the Evas. Will Shinji find out what or who resides inside Unit 00, or will it be berserk and try to kill us again? Find out in the finale for the second part of our story! Oh, there may also be fan service, and there'll definitely be allusions to periods because Rei made a poem! Hurray!"

* * *

Authors notes: Wow, it's so much fun for my _Misato's voice_ sections. Also, yeah, I'm skipping episode 13, since there's no point to it for my story (especially since there's hardly any teens in it). I felt as though I'd have to add too much fluff to the chapter to make it a decent size, and I definitely didn't feel like spending extra time on three naked pilots. Plus, "the largest Angel" seemed like a much better climax to this section instead of "the Angel killed by a laptop".

Like my earlier chapter _Rei II_ , this chapter was the culmination of this narrative arc. Shinji and Asuka hugged (surprised?). All three of them killed the friggen' massive Angel. They ate noodles and Shinji said how they Rei, Asuka, and Misato are his family. Like _A Human Work_ , the next chapter will be the resolution. Oh, and maybe you'll get some more reveals on Rei. Anyone up for some cross compatibility tests?

This chapter did prove a bit hard to get "right". Rei was initially supposed to be at that party, but then I realized that there was no point. She'd just be there and add nothing to the development. Plus, she wouldn't like it. Rei prefers smaller crowds. Thus, I let her have some nice, philosophical time with Sakura.

In case you're wondering, the answer is yes. I've been intentionally making many of my recent "Rei scenes" without just Shinji as the only other person in them. Why? First, she's already in a great relationship with her brother, thus most of her character development would come from her interactions with others. Second, much of Shinji's time has been taken up by Misato and Asuka recently (though there has been a bunch of scenes with all three pilots). However, don't worry. There'll be a very nice one next chapter.

I'll keep my author's notes for this week short. Next week seems like it'll have a very long one to me.

Replies to comments:

PrometheusDark, it's good to see you like my Gendo. (More on him in the next reply.) I also agree it's really hard for Asuka and Shinji to be in a healthy relationship (that stays in character). However, as y'all have probably noticed in this fic so far, I enjoy doing things a bit different from what we normally see in Eva fanfics. I'm interested to see what you'll say about what happened between the roommates this chapter.

As for the subject of protagonists, I try to give equal spotlight to all three; however, Shinji gets the most narration time, Asuka seems to be the center of attention whenever she's around, and Rei's the most… pervasive and mysterious one.

Lastly, if you've been enjoying my _Misato's voice_ sections, you got some more this time. I still want to do more with her character, but so far I've only been able to do so subtly and not blatantly. It is pretty interesting to see how many of her scenes in the anime were without any of the teens. Heck, she was pretty much the audience's bridge to the adult world.

Hello There, you're right in that EVIL Gendos aren't as interesting as morally grey and/or mysterious Gendos. While I won't comment on your suggestions (other than I like them) with his character (because I want to avoid Gendo spoilers as much as I want to avoid Rei spoilers), I can give you something else.

Gendo was actually the third character I "finished" when planning the fic. Obviously, Rei and Shinji were the first two since… well, they're the entire reason this's an AU. After completing those two, I realized that Gendo now has a seriously different back-story (since he has two kids instead of Shinji). Not only does Shinji have a sister, but Gendo has a daughter. Not just an "artificial tool", but a living, breathing daughter who shared half of his DNA and half from his beloved Yui. Y'all will see more of the Bastard King as we move along.

Traitor of All Traitors, very interesting idea. I hadn't thought of that, but that's not the reasoning behind my (well… technically Rei and Gendo's) decision. For one, there's a lot of fanfics out there with Asuka as the lead pilot in some way, so I wanted to deconstruct that a bit and/or put in an interesting twist or two. More importantly, I felt that Rei was perceptive enough to see Asuka's potential as a tactician. Lastly, there are two Angels in particular where I felt that this'd be pretty necessary. I guess I'll have to remember to mention "Hey! This's the Angel I was talking about so much in previous chapters but never by name!" when I get there.

Oh, as some of you might have noticed, the pilots have different (and more balanced) kill stats. In terms of delivering the killing blow, Shinji has four (3rd, 4th, 6th, and 7th), Asuka has four (6th, 7th, 8th, and 10th), Rei has two (5th and 9th), and Ritsuko and her keyboard has one (11th). With many of the most formidable Angels coming up (such as Bardiel and eventually Tabris), Shinji will most certainly be in harms way.

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

Shinji came up with the party idea.

Rei spent more time with Sakura.

Asuka mentioned how she proved to Shinji that she exists.

Shinji and Asuka hugged (with Asuka the initiator. Asuka initiating nice human contact didn't happen in cannon until EoE final scene.) I feel like I should do one of Evangelion's "deep psychological inner conversations" with Asuka. Unlike Shinji and Rei, I'm writing Asuka's characterization from a significantly more complex perspective… Oh well, now I'm ranting in the wrong section.

Shinji says how Misato, Rei, and Asuka are his family.


	15. Weaving a Story

Chapter 14

(I skipped episode 13)

 _THEY are the enemy. I will not allow them to harm my brother. No matter what THEY say, no matter how much THEY may desire for me to say something wrong, I will not. Ikari needs me to succeed, both of them._

* * *

"First Child, designated pilot of Unit 00, Rei Ayanami, it is a pleasure to meet you." His voice sounds monotone but not like hers. She may have moment of minor emotional expression. He seems to have none at all, as if he killed what made him human. Though, that too is an assumption. He choose to be represented by a pillar, SEELE 1. The four others around the table tower over her diminutive form as well.

"As it is with you, members of SEELE." She stands up to bow. Then, she sits in a fluid and well-practiced motion.

"We simply want your side of things. Give us your version of events, the Angel battles and NERV's recent endeavors."

"Yes, Sir." She takes a breath, not that she needs to. They will ask too many questions if she appears unafraid of the men, thus she acts like an anxious girl. They do not know…

"I was not very self-aware during the Third Angel's attack, since I had large doses of drugs in my body due to injuries. However, my nearly comatose body was used to stimulate the Third Child to action. He attacked the Angel and won." _Then, the first the he did after regaining conscious was finding me._

"After being physically assaulted by an agitated student, pilot Ikari defeated the Fourth Angel. He did so against orders. This was the last solo battle NERV took against an Angel." _Afterwards, he ran away, for her learned that I do not remember him. Sorry, brother; however, I am not at fault._

"During the fight against Ramiel, Major Katsuragi devised a plan to destroy the Angel using a shield and a long range rifle. At the expense of Japan's power, the Angel was destroyed."

The monolith interrupts her. "And congratulations for firing the killing shot, Ayanami."

 _Do not tell him about him shielding me. SEELE shall remain oblivious to any connections between he and I._ "Thank you, sir. I was not present during the next attack at sea, an unfortunate deviance to your scenario, but the pilots destroyed the Angel while being in the same entry plug. The fleet sustained major damage. We will commence cross compatibility tests between Evas after this meeting for further data." _Will I sync with… her? More importantly, will my brother sync with the beast? Could he discover that…_ Rei blinks.

"The next attack constituted an initial defeat for Units 01 and 02. After a week of concentrated training, the pilots defeated the Seventh Angel. I did not participate in this combat."

"Why?" asks Monolith 01, the only one which spoke anything.

"My Unit does not have the combat capabilities of the later models. As such, it was used as a reserve. If the attack had failed, or any for that matter, then I would self destruct Unit 00 to destroy the Angel. As such, I was not present during the next attack against the Angel. It was destroyed, though the pilots both suffered burns. So far, no other attack has caused as much physical damage." _Though, the mental toll has been increasing each fight. One day, that toll may prove to be too much._

"The next Angel attacked during a citywide blackout. NERV's intelligence apparatus has pointed to human sabotage for the loss of power, but we have not confirmed anything as of yet. Fortunately, the Angel proved to be very weak. I killed it without much trouble. No praise is necessary." _Not that I desire it from SEELE either. Poison covered in chocolate._

"The following Angel fell from space. How it either remained undetected for so long or moved to that location befuddles even NERV's MAGI. It fell. Unit 01 caught the Angel. Unit 02 destroyed it." _Together._

"The final Angel infiltrated NERV's base since its funding could not produce better monitoring. None of the pilots or Eva were involved. The head of research, Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, used her programming skills to kill the technology-based Angel. As such, NERV request a higher budget for self defense." _But YOU already know this information, SELLE. Why has this meeting occurred?_

The monolith speaks. Somehow, his words make the room seem colder. "Our sources say you are somewhat close with the other two pilots. What is your opinion on their mental stability? War produces fatigue after all."

 _Be glad that we are not actually in the same room, Kiel Lorenz._ "He shows signs of fatigue, but not to the point of mental instability. Though, I predict that he may not remain in its current state considering the upcoming Angels. Furthermore, his common trait during mental distress is to follow what is told by those he trusts."

 _Or jump into volcanoes… or charge directly at an Angel resembling a human phallus… THEY may still believe my version. I am supposedly a fourteen year old, human female, and unrelated to him. They may believe my interpretation could even be influenced be… What did Class Representative call that adolescent situation? A crush. My interpretation could be seen as influenced by a crush. Therefore, my personal situation could result in the occasional uninformed report, from their perspective._

That unfeeling voice echoes in the chambers again. "And what about the Dummy Plug system?"  
"On schedule."  
"And the Human Instrumentality Project?"  
"Ahead of schedule. The Spear of Longinus was retrieved from ground zero of Second Impact. Commander Ikari has elected to store it in Lilith's chest."  
"Good. That is all. Dismissed."

The five monoliths disappear. For a moment, Rei exists alone in a black room. No light; no warmth. Then, the lights turn on.

She feels a hand on her shoulder, a warm hand even through the glove. He stood behind her the entire time. She could sense it.

"Good job, Rei."  
"Thank you, Commander Ikari."

* * *

 _Mountains… Heavy are the mountains, but even it changes with the passage of time._

 _Sky… Blue sky. What my eyes cannot see, they see as blue._

 _Sun… Unique, only one. A display of life that burns any who go near. Lieutenant Sohryu?_

 _Water… It is agreeable. Commander Ikrari?_

 _Flowers… so many of the same, yet what is mine looks most pleasant. I should show Shinji his gift, my flower._

 _Bad skies; red skies. The color red, and I hate red. The liquid flows through the body, giving life… Red is blood._

 _Blood… I hate blood more. Blood shows pain in those who I should protect, but blood gives life. I do not bleed, so I will never give life._

 _Red… Like the dust in which man came forth, for humanity is dust. A fleeting moment in the universe, yet man no longer comes from dust. Humanity comes from man and woman. A human creation, a natural human creation._

 _City… A human creation. Eva… A human creation. But, man is a human creation. Does this make a city human? Does this make the Evas human? What makes humans human?_

 _I posses my life and a soul. I am a vessel for that soul. I am the entry plug of that soul. What am I? I am Rei. What is Rei? Rei is alive. What is alive? That which wonders if it is alive. I am alive, but what am I? I am I. I am this dust that houses my soul. I am flesh and blood. That is what other see, my flesh and blood, but I am more. I am a soul, yet no one sees my soul. Thus, do I see others?_

 _Shinji, Commander Ikari, Lieutenant Sohryu, Doctor Ikagi, Major Katsuragi, everyone. Who are you? Do I know you? Do I know any of you? Who are you? What am I?_

"Rei." Doctor Ritsuko's voice breaks Rei from her thoughts. "How does it feel to pilot Unit 01 for the first time?"  
 _Feel?_ "It feels like Shinji."

This Eva feels warm, welcoming. Rei knows why it gives this impression, and for that very reason she will not allow herself to be enveloped farther.

"Okay, the test is over, Rei. You can get out now. Oh, your sync score was just under what you achieve in Unit 00."

Rei ends the synchronization. No longer seeing the world through Unit 01's eyes, she sees the entry plug's walls again.

* * *

"Shinji."

He turns and smiles at his sister. "Hey, I'm glad your sync went well."  
"You are nervous."  
He rubs the back of his head. "That easy to tell?"  
"Yes."

His shoulders slouch. They're alone right now, half way between the changing rooms and the testing center.

"Unit 00 will cause you no harm."  
"How do you know? It almost killed you before."  
"Shinji." She lays her hand on his shoulder. "She will never harm you, no matter what she does to others. I will watch your test from the control room."

Before he could say anything in reply, Rei walks down the hall still dripping LCL. _Wait. Rei called it a She?_

He opens his mouth, but closes it. He's alone… and late. Crap. He runs to the testing cages, panting by the time he reaches it. He climbs into the entry plug and feels that familiar jolt. They inserted him into the Eva.

 _Breathe. Relax. It'll be fine. If I don't freak, then everything will be alright and Rei will be safer… Plus, Asuka will rip off my arms and legs if this thing goes berserk. While their vote of confidence sucks, I'm glad they put her in the cage next to mine… ready to stop me._

"Hey, Shinji!" Asuka breaks through the worry in his mind, loudly. "Can I have a go with you Eva when you're done?"

He sees her face. It has a smile, but something's up with her eyes. Worry? "Sure. Maybe I could try your Eva agai-"  
"Shinji, I only let the most trustworthy, awesome, beautiful, and competent people pilot my baby."  
"Oh, um."  
"I'll make an acceptation for you." She chuckles at his expense.  
"Thanks."  
"Anytime, now start syncing so I can show you how a perfect pilot like me can move your hunk of junk called Unit 01."

She turns off her communications. _Were those insults or compliments? Ug, I'll figure that out later… sorta like Asuka. She hasn't flirted with me for two weeks, ever since the ramen stand. Should ask… I don't even know who to ask about it. Girls. All of them are so confusing, except Rei._

"Shinji," asks Lieutenant Ibuki, "How do you feel in Unit 00's entry plug?"  
"Nothing."  
"You mean, it doesn't feel like you'll be able to sync?"  
"No… it just doesn't seem to… be with me? Like the Eva itself is hiding in a corner. Unit 01 sorta envelopes me. This one feels… lonely, so lonely."

They say some technical stuff. He understands it all, but most of it doesn't matter. When they give him the go-ahead, he'll fully sync.

"Shinji." This time, it's Dr. Ritsuko. "Commence A-10 connections." He does.

Pain. He feels so much pain, like a screwdriver shoving through the back of his skull. Then, a worse feeling envelopes him. Not the soothing one from his Unit. This one feels animalistic, unrestrained. It forces its way into his mind, and he can't do anything about it. He can't even call out for help.

He feels it.

 _ **Pain. Death. Alone.  
**_ _What are you!  
_ _ **Forgotten. Used. Defiled.  
**_ _What are you doing inside my head?  
_ _ **You. Alone. Twin? Love?**_

He sees Rei, so many Reis. Images of his recent and long ago memories are strewn through by the presence in his mind.

 _This feeling, this presence. I feel it. Rei. It's hers!_

 _ **There!**_ The Eva looks at the control room. _**Murderer! Murder! Protect!**_

Then, it stops. Shinji's eyes open. "Another unfamiliar ceiling." He closes his eyes, not wanting to look at the hospital's ceiling again. _No, I was in Rei's Eva, then…_ "Rei!" He sits up.  
"Lie down. All is well." He complies with his sister and sighs. "No one was injured when Unit 00 went berserk, though Unit 00 broke all the control room's glass."  
"Sorry."  
"Don't be."  
"How long have you sat in that chair?"  
"Ten hours. Lieutenant Sohryu waited twelve outside your door."  
"Asuka? Is she still there?"

Instead of answering him, Rei walks to the door without making a sound. She opens it, and Asuka falls down, only able to catch herself from years of training. While still waking up, even Shinji realizes that the redhead was trying to listen through the door.

"Dummkopf." She stands up and brushes herself off. "You still owe me a test with your Eva." She smiles at him.

Shinji laughs.

* * *

Asuka slides their apartment door shut. Since it had been five damn days since they were humiliated, it's about time she'll make Major Pervy Pants apologize. It has been five damn days! That woman couldn't just say, "Sorry"? Better yet, "Sorry about parading your buck-ass nude bodies through those rooms. Oh, sorry about doing it with Shinji too."

 _Yeah, absolutely fucking right. Rei doesn't care. Hell, she'd do anything, ANYTHING! if it could so much as possibly save Shinji._ She shudders at that thought. As their lead pilot, it's her duty to ensure that never happens. _Me. It was hard. I've changed with Rei before. Pretty girl too. Would have a ton of suitors if she wasn't to… Rei… Rei-y? Is that a word? It should be. Scheisse. Focus, Asuka. Nerves are acting up, not for me but what I'd do to Misato if she won't apologize. Still, I knew Shinji wouldn't look. He didn't._

 _But, poor Shinji. I've teased him so much, and being next to me, both of us nude. I felt his thoughts when we fought that stupid fish Angel, and I know I arouse him. Shinji's now officially on a special list. All human males are perverts, especially his father, except for two. Kaji… and now Shinji. Maybe his father took all of his son's pervyness and kept it for himself. Ug, focus! Shinji was nude next to his nude sister and his nude, totally gorgeous roommate. It must've been some weird emotional torture for him. That's why Misato must apologize, especially to him._

Asuka tilts her head. Misato came home an hour ago, but where's the loud hello? Alternatively, where's the loud snoring? Had the woman instead gone bar hopping? She clenches her fist in frustration. _Of course she went to get plastered. The one day where I'd get some time alone with Misato, and she's not here. Didn't she know that Shinji's spending the night with Rei? Is she leaving me all alone? Arschloch._

Glass smashes at the back of the apartment. Without any hesitation, the girl rushes to find what happened. She almost pushes Pen Pen, waddling away terrified, to the ground as she sees the disaster in the hallway. A broken wine bottle lies on the floor, and the red wine dribbles down the back wall. Empty, crushed beer cans litter the floor, maybe a dozen. Misato leans against her wards' door crying.

 _Damn it. Change of plans. I'll yell at her later._

Careful to stay away from the glass shards, Asuka sits across from Misato. She never even changed out of her uniform. Her cheeks are lined with salty streaks.

In a soft voice, Asuka asks, "You okay?" It's a stupid question, but she needs to get her guardian talking.  
In a hoarse whispers, she says, "Failed." _Yeah, you're a total failure. Ew! Your breath smells like beer, low quality beer. Not the good German stuff._  
"What's a failure?"  
"Me."

Misato opens her eyes, as if she realized that she's talking to a real person. Asuka yanks her up. The woman leans onto Asuka for stability. She half walks, half drags the drunk to her bed. When they arrive, she tosses her down.

"Sleep well," she deadpans. She slides the door shut.  
"Asssukuh?"  
She moans in frustration and opens the door back up. "Yeah, what?"  
She slurs, "I almost killed yu in the volka… valcain… lavuu. I wazent thar when the spidur attacted. I didn't stop you all fru bein' naked toogethu. Shinji coulda died today. Ima horrubul person."  
"But he loves you anyway. Let him know you feel the same tomorrow."

Then, she shuts the door. She'll let Misato clean up her own mess tomorrow. _I need some sleep._

* * *

"So, what is it that you wanna show me, Rei?" His voice carries some worry, a little excitement, but most of all a peaceful calm. He enjoys her presence, and that brings a small smirk to the blue haired girl's lips.

The construction machinery clangs in the background. They step over garbage, but the sun sets in a warm orange. Soon, the waxing crescent moon will shine above. More importantly, they are together as brother and sister. No amount of noise, stench, or filth could change that.

She opens her door, unlocked as always. Two Section 2 guards patrol this area, so anyone who would sneak into an adolescent girl's apartment would find their experience most distasteful and painful.

"Please, come inside."

Pilot Ikari does and takes off his shoes. She walks to the back of her apartment and picks up the plant.

Rei smiles. Except after the battle with Ramiel, her grin had never been wider. "It bloomed." The Morning Glory had its first flower in full display, blue. She likes the blue, since it matches his eyes.

"It's the same color as your hair," he says. Rei blushes. He takes a few steps closer to inspect the flower. "It's pretty. I like it, and I'm glad you're taking care of it. Doesn't it make this place seem friendlier?"  
"Yes."  
He looks down. "I wish we could share the same home. Then… then, I could be with you more. You could be with Asuka more. My whole family would be together." _I should not mention Commander Ikari even though he is family._  
"For safety reasons, all three pilots cannot live in the same area."  
His shoulders slouch. "I know but-"  
"I am fine on my own. You and… Sohryu function well in cohabitation. I would not."  
"Oh."

She puts down the plants and opens the curtains. She sits on her bed to watch the sunset, and her brother does the same. There was no need to speak words. As the sun gets lower, Rei moves closer to Pilot Ikari. When the last rays of the sun disappear into the night, she rests her head on his shoulder.

Darkness has descended over Tokyo-3.

* * *

Misato's voice: "Shinji and Rei visit their mother's grave with Commander Asshole. What could go wrong? Plus, Misato leaves her two wards alone at night when she goes to a wedding with that ponytailed bastard. Obviously, what could go wrong for this as well? Nothing, of course. They're just two teenagers of the opposite sex. It's not as if someone will get bored… Oh, and Rei has an interesting conversation with Toji after he learned what she's been doing with Sakura. There will be fan service of some nature this time around. I'll bet you a beer that you won't expect what's coming."

* * *

Author's notes: Well, this was short. I wrote myself into a bit of a corner since the next episode starts the next morning (and extends into the next day) based off the calendar I use. Oh well, I promised myself not to add stuff for the sake of just word count.

Did you like Rei's contemplative semi-poem thingy? I did. I delved quite a bit on what's going on in Rei's head this chapter.

So, here's the end of the second of four acts. Unlike basically this entire act, this chapter focused on Rei. Even though get to see more about her, but a few questions might've been raised along the way. Was the whole thing with Unit 00 confusing? I just hope I'm not pushing off revealing her past too much here. Rei was a mystery until the 23rd episode (but the answers only seemed to raise more questions). I threw out several hints though this chapter. I'm willing to bet that a good amount of y'all have a pretty good idea of what sorta happened at this point. Feel free to guess/hypothesis in reviews (because I love reviews!)

This act was fun, really fun. Asuka became a major character at last, and she's so entertaining (and so challenging) to write. Unlike Rei and Shinji, Asuka's a go-getter. I finally have a character who can do things like confront Misato, point out Shinji's flaws (and give him the occasional genuine confidence booster too), and help prod Rei into being more social (which's still light-years away from "normal" amounts of being social). Oh, and her voice is fun. Dummkopf is such a wonderful word to type…

Oh, that bring me to a point that I've been meaning to make for a while. Why does Asuka randomly use the Japanese word _baka_? Recognition. I want Rei, Shinji, and Asuka to have noticeably and recognizably different voices both in dialogue and POV. Shinji stutters, says "um" a lot, and seems add Rei into whatever he's thinking. Rei doesn't use contractions, speaks formally, uses larger words, and pretty much never uses the phrase _I feel_ or _I hope._ Asuka puts down others, builds herself up, uses German and Japanese, and has markedly more pointed words for others.

So, what's next? Well, the next section will spread from the next chapter until episode 21 (the one where we get the flashback including the canon Rei I's death). Essentially, it's where the characters have so much crap happen to them that they go totally bonkers for the final act. What will I have considering we have three pilots who are getting along fine? Well… (there aren't spoilers in the next paragraph, um, much; however, I allude to several things that'll happen in vague detail.)

Tragic deaths, a truly scary Angel fight, the American contribution to the war effort, heartbreak, solidifying relationships, me being Anno levels of being a dick so some characters, truly heartwarming scenes, and figuring out some (very) major things about Rei's past. Oh, and also a fun moment of (necessary) deep intrapersonal analysis between a pilot, Angel, and a special someone (if the scene works).

I've been setting up the story for a few "flashpoints" for this entire chapter. One is the next chapter. Then, there's Bardiel and Zeruel. I'd be willing to bet my right pinky that none of you correctly expect what you're gonna being reading. Oh, and that's not in a weird way either. Too many times, I see good Eva fanfics go batshit insane in terms or weirdness, changes to canon, or grossly OOC moments. I won't be doing any of that. I spent more time on planning/setting those three sections than maybe any other area of this fic. (The ending to _Twins_ came rather easily for me. It's friggen' awesome, beautiful, and totally Eva.) There's more on Bardiel in my response to my reviews.

On that topic… thanks, gents and ladies (maybe, idk. Eva seems pretty male dominated. If you're female and reading this, hurray! I'm genially happy to have you reading this too.) This fanfic has been consistently been getting a ton of reviews. I am truly grateful for that. Hell, within a few days, this'll be the #1 most reviewed Eva fanfic published in the last six month. Y'all rock! Plus, I got five reviews for the last chapter. Thank you so much! (Feel free to give me five or more for this one too!)

Well… that was the end of summer. Spring (the first section) was the start of "life" for my characters. Shinji went from a life of lonely monotony to a dangerous one with his beloved sister (which totally made it worth it for the teen). Rei learned how to truly, deeply care for someone else. Lastly, Asuka was about to meet the others.

Summer was where life abounded. Asuka arrived and shook the twins' lives to the core. The trio defeated five Angels. Most importantly, bonds were formed between the three Children. To be honest, there were many scenes in here that wrote themselves, especially with Asuka. I guess her unpredictable nature works best when even I can't predict them. For example, did you know she wasn't supposed to hug Shinji? I've been purposely keeping her from making any "nice" contact with Shinji, but it seemed so RIGHT for Asuka to do that (and she wanted to). Since it fit into my planned development for the two perfectly, I knew I had to add it. It's now one of my favorite scenes of this story (along with the entire Ramiel battle).

Fall… There's true beauty in fall, but the beauty comes from the temporary death of nature. Life either has to flee for warmer temperate, be a hardy and prepared creature, or die. I'm not gonna lie here. I've been dreading what's coming up, but there's scenes I can't wait to write too.

Oh, and we turned a page on Angel battles. Ever since Gaghiel, I focused on things other than the actual Angel fighting, even during the battles. With Gaghiel, I focused on Shinji and Asuka "figuring out" who the other person was. With Israfil, it was Rei standing in awe at the teamwork displayed by the roommates. With Sandalphon, it was on Asuka's realization that she is not an invincible pilot and that Shinji's a stupid idiot who won't ever let her go. With Matarael, it was on Shinji realizing that Rei is able to protect herself. (I never really showed the Angel to the readers too which I found oddly hilarious for some reason.) With Sahaquiel, it was on the teamwork (and care) between all three pilots…

The next Angels will be a lot different. Leliel provides a very good way to analyze the gobbled up pilot and is the first Angel that NERV just scratches their heads at. (Of course, their canon solution was "drop all the bombs on it".) Liliel was the first Angel that was near impossible to beat by conventional means of "stab, kill, go home with a smile". Bardiel… This one will be utterly evil and horrible. Zeruel is the most physically powerful Angel, the Angel of Might. Will Unit 01 have to gobble up Shinji to save the day? (Fun fact: Asuka's birthday occurred a few days before Shinji got out of the unit finally. Poor girl. I bet she spent it all alone in canon, pretending to be independent while feeling utterly lonely and weak.)

So… I told you this'd be a long _Author's note_ last week. Since I passed over a thousand words, I think I'm correct.

Replies to comments: (thanks for reaching five this week!)

PrometheusDark, before I reply to your (wonderfully detailed) comment, I just want to say a personal thanks. Your reviews are in depth and very helpful for incite. Oh, and they're also up quickly. I look forward to reading them as I publish each chapter.

Yep, Rei finally accepted Asuka (though that Rei still might have some more funny Gendo-like manipulations coming. It depends on how well it'll fit in. Knowing Rei, it will.) I also agree that having a split POV (and doing it in third person) means showing what's going on inside character's heads can be really hard, especially with Asuka. Until she gets her major character exploration scenes, I'm relying on "actions (and intentions) speak louder than words".

Also, I remember Matters of Faith. I agree that the writer's Gendo was (probably) my favorite. Without a doubt, the stories SCIENCE! Rei was the most memorable. Fun fact, Rei capitalizing pronouns when thinking about people she doesn't like was inspired by SCIENCE! Rei. Anyway, I bet you'll be interested to see what Gendo will say at Yui's grave (and what'll happen between Shinji and Asuka too, of course).

ADeadDieHard, thank you for your reviews as well. You've stuck with me since the beginning. Plus, your reviews probably had more influence on the story than you'd expect.

I left Unit 00 intentionally up to interpretation for now, but I wouldn't be surprised if you figure it out correctly. Also, this won't be the last time Unit 00 has her say in things. Why did Asuka drop that bowl? You'll never know! Well… until the next chapter.

Tribun, it's really humbling to have the author of Going Another Way review my fanfic. Thank you so much. I'd be thrilled with just a "Nice fic", but your reviews are detailed as well.

I have to admit, when I read "everyone is more capable of... you know... actually talking." I laughed a lot. While failure of communication is a theme of this story, I'm also using "actually communicate!" as one too. Rei went from… well, canon Rei in terms of personality to a more open Rei. Y'all will see what happened to her eventually. I'm a bit of an asshole, I suppose, for making you all wait so long. Sorry.

I initially had a two way confrontation planned for this chapter where Shinji and Asuka berate Misato, but I decided otherwise at the last minute. I realized that my Shinji probably wouldn't confront anyone. Sort of like how he doesn't yell out "Rei's my sister so stop teasing me that I want to be her boyfriend!" While he wants to protect Rei, he also doesn't want to drag his socially awkward twin into more weird situations. Plus, he has generally been lacking in communication with Misato, especially in comparison to Rei and Asuka.

Speaking about Asuka, she did try to confront Misato, but… well, we saw the results. This's the second time that the major had a breakdown. She does feel like shit for letting down the pilots yet again, but it took her getting plastered to do so (to just Asuka). Rei wouldn't want to confront Misato. She'd confront someone else. (You'll see that next chapter.)

John Titor, I was worried about Asuka getting in the way of Shinji and Rei's relationship too. (And I'm the writer, ha ha!) I think I was able to add her into the story quite well. Plus, she got character development already (which didn't happen in canon until EoE in my opinion).

Traitor of All Traitors, thanks for your reviews. Your comment "Impressive work here." ranks as one of my favorites so far. To catch a glimpse of how my readers like my story brightens my day.

Ooh, you mentioned Bardiel… That was a knife to the heart to both Shinji and us viewers. Let's just say I really want to capture that gut wrenching helplessness and terror when I reach that chapter. I've put more time planning out that setup and battle than (probably) everything else combined. I think I've finally got it right too. I'll check out Immortal Ikari, though I never watched Highlander before. (I guess that makes me a bad person. Ha ha.)

Also, thank you delta4phoenix and maxtime for the reviews you've given. They've been very helpful. Oh, also thank you all of my German readers. I have a lot of you (often the country with the second most hits). Thanks for putting up with my "American failing at speaking another language" German.

List of notable enough (for me) things that aren't canon:

Rei delivered a report to SELLE (and doesn't like them at all).

Shinji hears Unit 00 just before it goes berserk.

Asuka confronts a drunken Misato about the whole "being naked" incident.

Rei's flower has bloomed. Shinji stays the night with his sister.


	16. Lies (not) and Silence (not)

Chapter 15

 _I… I'm confused. I'm really confused, but I always knew what I wanted and how to get it. I wanted to be the best Eva pilot ever, so I did. I wanted Kaji, so I did everything in my power to make him mine. I knew I'd go after whatever I set my mind on. Now… I don't know what I want. Curse you, Shinji! Why can't I figure out what I want to do with you!_

* * *

 _Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone!_

"This's Kaji. I'm out right now. Please leave your name and message at the beep." _Verdamt! Well, here goes nothing.  
_ She takes a breath. Her cell phone became heavy all of a sudden. "K-Kaji?" _Ug, I sound so unsure of myself, like Shinji._ "I… I want some… advice. I know you'd answer them. And, um…" _Have I ever been this uncertain?_ "Thanks for not ditching me. I know I can be hard to deal with. Thanks."

She hangs up. Somehow, she feels as though a weight has been lifted only for another one to squash her again. _I'm exhausted… from a phone call. Pathetic._

"What was that about?" Hikari steps out from the door, no doubt listening to her call. Then again, if she wanted it private, she shouldn't have done it in the middle of the school's hallway.  
"I was calling Kaji." She sighs.  
"Still trying to bag Mr. Perfect?" The freckled girl smirks, but she somehow makes that seem pleasant.  
"No."  
"No?"  
"Yeah, he likes Misato, and… and I guess I shouldn't be deluded by girlish fantasies anymore." She points at herself with her thumb. "I'm a Lieutenant." _I hope she'll buy that excuse._

Hikari's eyes light up. She puts her hands behind her back and rocks back and forth on her feet.

"Hey, I've got a favor to ask you." _She's asking me a favor? She never did that before._  
"What?"  
"Well, there's this guy Kodama knows, a fellow med student. He's been asking about this for a while now, and…" Her face blushes. She spews out the next words. "He really wants to go on a date with you."  
Asuka whispers, "A date?" She clenches her fist.  
"Pretty please?" Her friend bows.

Asuka glances back into the classroom. Rei rings out a towel, totally focused on the task at hand. Shinji stares at his twin, his face looking reminiscent. Pinky and Nerd goof around.

"No."  
"Why?" She lowers her head in shame. _Stupid Japanese customs. I bet I violated one of them by doing this. Screw that._ "You're free, and he likes you, and he-"  
"He's what, twenty? I bet he's a pedophile."  
Hikari's eyes widen in shock and her body tenses. She forgets to close her mouth, hanging wide open. "How could you say something like that?"  
"Simple, I'm thirteen. He's… what, twenty?"  
"But isn't Kaji thirtyish?"  
"I'm done with childish fantasies."  
"Is there someone else?"

Before she could respond, she hears a loud thwack. With his mop still on Shinji's head, Pinky yells at Shinji to get back working. Of course, it's all in jest. _How dare he do that to my Shinji!_

"Verletze meinen Freund nicht!" Everyone in the class turns to the redhead. _What did I do wrong? Oh, German. Verdamt. Ich ein Dummkopf_. Asuka glares back at them, especially Toji. "Get back to work, Pinky!"

Everyone returns to whatever they'd been doing.

Hikari smiles. It's a weird one that Asuka never seen her use before. "Never mind. Forget I said anything. I understand your answers now."

Asuka raises her eyebrow. _Weird._

* * *

Asuka was still fixing her hair in the girls' room, not that Shinji checked. A couple weeks ago, Rei told him that hair primping was the cause of her normal delay. When he asked his sister what she did, he cringed. Water and bar soap aren't considered adequate for male hair care, but that's what Rei used. Still, he didn't try to argue with her. She didn't value how her hair looked, and… Her hair does look nice already.

That's why they were riding the elevator together. Well, he also wanted to talk with her. In the unmonitored elevators, this'd be the perfect place.

He stands in the corner, holding his school bag. Rei stands in front of the door, so he couldn't see her facial expression.

"Will you, uh, be there tomorrow?"  
"Yes." _I didn't have to explain where "there" was._  
"What should I talk to him about?"  
"Why are you asking me?"  
"Because you know how."

She looks down. Her shoulders slouch. He knows that's a major reaction coming from Rei.

"I talk to you better than I do with Commander Ikari."  
"Then, what is he like?" _I haven't had a real conversation with him since I was nine. Even then, how much of a conversation could a nine year old really have?_  
"Like you, but colder… more withdrawn, more calculating."  
"Why?"  
"Because he remembers her, how he failed to protect her, how she died."

The silence chokes the life out of Shinji. His hand twitches and his body sweats. Rei presses the stop button on the elevator. They were about to reach their floor.

"Is this why you have been watching me all day?"  
"Um, sorta? But, the way you ringed out that towel… it made me think of our mother. You looked, uh, motherly."  
"A mother?"  
"Yeah…" He laughs. "I know you'll be an amazing mother one day, Rei."

She turns around. A tear runs down her eye. Shinji's heart breaks as he drowns in self-loathing and confusions. _What did I do to make her cry! She never shed a tear before._

"R-Rei?" He takes a step towards her. He reaches out to hold her, hug her but waits for her to accept his offer.  
"I do not bleed."

Shame; sadness. He hears both in her otherwise impassive voice. For a moment, he doesn't move, trying to comprehend what she meant. Then, realization dawns on him. _I feel like shit._

He hugs her. "Sorry. I didn't know."  
"When you have children, may I hold them?"  
"Of course."

* * *

Asuka stares at the roof, another Shinji activity. Lying on the floor, she shoves some more chips in her mouth. It's not that she's hungry, but other would give her strange looks if she was just… lying on the ground. Well, Pen Pen lies next to her. Maybe they'd think she decided to spend time with the bird.

"I'm home!" says Misato. She walks past the redhead. "You better go to sleep soon. It'll be midnight in a few minutes."  
"Shinji's in our room being, um, contemplative."  
"Masturbating?"  
"Eek!"

As Misato laughs at the joke, Asuka's face turns red. She stomps to her guardian, halfway through changing. Jabbing a finger at her face, Asuka lets loose her fury.

"How dare you say those things, Misato! You know that he is the most polite man we've ever met. Tell me one time, ONE TIME, where he did anything remotely sexual around us or to us? Tell me one time he took more than a few minutes in the shower or bathroom? Oh, and due to Commander Pervert, I know for a fact that he's a gentleman in his room."

Misato holds up her hands in defeat. "Okay, calm down. I'm sorry. It was a joke."  
"And do you know why he's brooding in there?"  
"Because he's a teenage boy, and sometimes they just need a little privacy?"  
Asuka forces her voice to stay low, not wanting Shinji to hear this. "No, because he'll be visiting his mother's grave tomorrow, and his father will be there."  
"I know. I just wanted you to say that."  
"Don't think I'll let this slide just because you apologized to him this morning."  
"I know."

Asuka grunts and marches off to her room. She sees Shinji close his eyes. He must've been staring at his ceiling for hours.

"I'm tired. Just keep your eyes closed so I can change. Please? Thanks." She throws off her clothes and puts on her pajamas in seconds. "Good night, Shinji." She slips under the covers.  
"You too." _He sounded way too distant there._  
"You wanna talk about anything?" she whispers.  
"It… it's sorta private."  
"I know it's the anniversary of your mom's death tomorrow."  
"How'd you know?" He rolls onto his side, so her can face her.  
"Rei."

His hand twitches, something Asuka learned is a telltale sign that something's up. This time, something's up with Rei.

"You and Rei have a fight?"  
"No, it's that… well, I learned something about her today. I was trying to be nice, compliment her, but I made her cry instead."  
Asuka sits up. "Rei cried?"  
"I told her she'd be a great mother."  
"And?"  
"She said she, um… doesn't bleed."

She knows what that meant immediately. _Poor Wondergirl._

"Did you make it up to her?"  
"Yes."  
 _Turn this into a positive, Asuka._ "Then you should be happy."  
"Why?"  
"Baka, because this means she trusts you enough to tell you that. It means a lot from Rei, Miss Super Private."  
"I didn't think of it that way."  
"That's why you should talk to me more often. I can do your thinking for you."  
"Um, thanks?"  
"Anytime."

Asuka rolls over. So does Shinji.

"Shinji?"  
"Yes?"  
"Don't be so hard on yourself. You really are a great person."  
"You too."

Asuka falls asleep smiling.

* * *

Graves. Thousands of them. Across the world, millions were added since he was born. Billions died in that same time. Are these souls blessed to have a grave, a silent testament that they were born? Or, are the graves a curse, a reminder that these thousands are all but forgotten by the living? That is not true. They are here for one who still lives on in many ways. On this occasion, she lives in their minds even though Rei cannot recall her.

She watches as pilot Ikari lays down pink flowers in front of the grave. _Ikari Yui. 1977 – 2004._ He stares at the grave as his face reflects off its black surface. All of the graves are the same, a black tower… like a cross with no arms.

"It has been five years since we were last here." The commander's voice shows no emotion, but it gives no malice either.  
He doesn't move. "Then, you sent me away. I haven't come back since then. It's hard to believe my mom's resting here. I don't even remember her face."  
"Burying memories is man's way of surviving; accepting them is man's way of living. There are some things a man should never forget." He stands still and erect, almost like a soldier. "I come here to confirm my acceptance."

Her brother stands up. He almost brushes his shoulder with Rei. She suppresses her hand from twitching. This is not her moment of interaction; this is a moment for a father and his son.

"You don't have a picture of her."  
"No photographs. Even this grave is a decoration. Nothing remains."  
"Why did you cast everything away?"  
"Everything is kept in my heart. One day, I hope you will understand what those words mean."

A VTOL descends from above blowing dust across the graveyard. Commander Ikari does not move, but the Third Child flinches.

"Our time is up. I'm leaving now." The man turns and walks away.  
"Father!" he screams. His father looks back at his son. "I'm g-glad we could talk together t-today." His hand twitches.  
"Agreed."

He climbs into the vehicle and flies away. Rei takes hold of her brother's hand.

"We should leave," she says.

* * *

Asuka needs to blow off steam and clear her head. She has three ways of doing that. Piloting the Eva can't be done. There's no tests and Angels never come at the right time. Verbal jests with Misato are out of the question. She's at a wedding with Kaji. Messing with Shinji… Well, he's the reason she needs to blow off steam, and it's not even his fault!

Thus, she walks in the park. It's the twelfth lap she's done on an almost twelve kilometer path. To say her body reeks and drips of sweat would be a callous understatement.

The redhead replays Kaji's parts of the conversation over in her head again.

" _You should talk to him, Asuka. He'll listen." "You shouldn't be afraid. Get out of the perpetual state of limbo." "Thanks for thanking me. I'd never have thought you'd say that. I'm proud. Oh, I'm even more thankful that you're… well… let's just say we'll get fewer odd stares now, right?" "You're wishing me luck? Asuka, it's not a date. It's a… social gathering of old friends." "Crap. I'm late. Talk to him. It's how Misato and I lost each other. We didn't talk."_

She leans up against a tree, panting. _Damn the eternal heat. At least Germany had the seasons of hot and super hot. Japan has one, the fires of Hell._ She glances at the section two guards. They're the third pair that shadowed her. The previous two were pansies.

"Verdamt. I'm hungry," she says to herself. "Hey, James Bond and Nathan Hunt, get your asses over here and get me a ride. I want to go home." Their facial expressions don't change, but she notices that one of them sighs. Maybe she shouldn't be so harsh to them men and women who could be the only ones that could save her from a murderer… Nah. They're more incompetent than a two year old.

They direct her to a car. She orders the agent in the driver's seat to take her home, so she does. Unlike the two men, Asuka mumbles out a thanks for the woman. She actually smiled at her, so the woman deserves something in return.

Asuka takes the stairs up. Of course, the elevator would be faster, but the act of doing something relieves stress. Even if that something doesn't help, it's better than sitting around like a lazy bastard. As she walks to the front door, she hears something surprising, maybe one of the most surprising things since she arrived at this stupid country. She opens the door quietly.

 _Yeah, I'm not hearing things._ It's a bit slower than the tempos she's used to hearing, but an old piece of music lofts out the door. She recognizes the piece immediately. It is German after all. Bach's Cello Suite, number one. _I didn't know he listened to this stuff._

She steps through the doorway, ready to congratulate him on some sensible taste of music. Still, she feels a somber tone, maybe a bit reflective. There are happier versions of it for him to listen to. Maybe she could buy him a better set. She peeks from behind the doorway to the living room. _Yeah, I have such a g-_

 _Holy shit._

Shinji sits on a chair, looking out the window, but he's playing the cello. This music. This haunting, solemn rendition. It's Shinji, her Shinji. Asuka stands frozen in place. Her brain tries to comprehend this sudden change to how she views him. Music is one of the many doorways to the soul. If this's his soul, then it's a damned dark place. Plus, he plays the cello like a professional. Where did he even get that cello?

Then, the music stops; the song ended. He leans back, eyes still transfixed to the setting sun. _He visited his mother's grave today with his father. What did then he do? He took out his cello and played THIS. He needs a friend's help. RIGHT NOW._

Careful to not let her footsteps make a sound, she walks up to her roommate. "Can you play the prelude to the fourth?"

She startles him to where he almost drops the cello. His entire body jerks to face the girl. "W-what are you… Um."  
She gives the warmest and most sincere smile possible for her. "The prelude to Bach's fourth cello suite. Could you play it for me?" _I always thought that one was upbeat._  
"I, uh." He looks down at his cello. "It's the hardest one, and I'm not really good at this."

She walks in front of him and kneels down, forcing his lowered gaze to be on her.

"Bullshit. That was amazing. You don't have to if you don't want to, but please play it. Play it happy, for me."  
He gulps and closes his eyes. "A-are you sure?"  
"Please."  
"Okay."

Asuka sits down in front of the boy. He messes with his strings for a moment. Then, he raises his bow to the four strings. Music flows forth.

His face twists into a contorted disaster. Rage, sorrow, joy, so much more. It's all there fighting for control. Still, the music plays. His hand dances across the strings. He opens his eyes. Somehow, they're both dead and alive, burning with energy and passion but broken and numb.

The notes stream into each other. Murmuring onwards, they connect to form the melody. True to his word, it's happy, but there's something hidden behind the happiness. Madness and loneliness. The music increases in notes and tempo. His fingers fly as if possessed. His breathing quickens. Nothing else matters in this instant. It's just the music, the creation of auditory ecstasy.

Then, the music stops; the song ended.

"S-sorry. I made some mistakes, and others p-played it much better before." He grimaces. He sets the cello down in a case by his feet.  
"Maybe you could play more for me in the future?"  
"What?" He looks at her puzzled.  
"I like your playing, Shinji. I'll be flattered if you'd be okay for letting me hear you."  
"You really mean that?"  
"Yes."

He nods. Asuka stands up and watches Shinji put away the case in the closet. _Was it there the entire time?_

"You feeling okay?" she asks.  
He walks back into the living room. "I guess. It's just… today's not a happy day. I don't want to be sad, but my mom died over a decade ago." He puts his hands in his pockets. She notices his hand twitching in there anyway. "I just feel, um-"  
"Sad, alone, angry that you feel sad and alone?"  
"Yeah, how'd you know that?"

Asuka's legs feel very weak all of a sudden, so she sits on the sofa. Shinji takes the opposite side.

She curses herself for feeling so weak. She did not plan for this evening to turn out this way but… But maybe this was needed first. Her body prepares as if it's about to fight an Angel. If only it was so easy. "My mom's dead too."  
"S-sorry. I didn't-"  
"Don't apologize. It's not your fault. Heh, my dad's a shitfaced asshole too. Married my mom's nurse before her corpse got cold. Walked onto them fucking a few times before she died, not that I understood what they were doing at the time."  
Shinji just stares at her, mouth agape. She doesn't blame him.  
"How'd your mom die?"

He clenches both of his fists and looks at his feet. "I can't remember that. My father won't tell me either. I can't even remember her face."  
"Lucky."  
"Why?"  
"I do. It looked pale. Hanging from a bed-sheet rope does that sorta thing."

He shifts closer to her. "How do you do it?"  
"Do what?"  
"Being so tough. You always fight back, never having moments of doubt. Me… I'm sitting here being depressed by just seeing her grave. How do you be tough? How do you not feel the pain? I want to be free of this."  
"I'm not. I just don't cry."  
"Why?"

Asuka sighs. "Can we eat soon? I did a lot today and haven't eaten since breakfast."  
Shinji looks a little disappointed. "Oh, okay. I'll go make something you'd like."

He stands up. Just as he's about to enter the kitchen, Asuka asks, "Shinji?"  
"Yes?"  
"Would you mind an extra set of hands in the kitchen?"  
He smiles. "Not at all."

* * *

"Thank you for taking me to the fancy ice cream place, Rei!" Sakura hugs the blue haired girl. Rei glances around, checking that no one besides section two sees the two of them in this manner. Personal association with a pilot, even one unknown to the public, could pose risks. Furthermore, they stand in front of the Suzuhara household which means the other family members could notice them together.

"It was frozen yogurt, but you are welcome." Rei hugs the girl back. "But, it is time for me to leave."  
"Why?"  
"I have business to attend to, and I must voice a complaint."  
"Um, okay. I hope that goes well." She beams. "I know it will because you're so smart."  
"Thank you."

Sakura takes out her key for the door and unlocks it. She opens it, and student Suzuhara falls onto the ground. The side of his head was pressed onto the door in order to hear. The boy picks himself up.

Rei deadpans, "I assume you have been listening, Suzuhara."  
He shrugs his shoulders. "Yeah, saw you and my little sis walk up from the window. Figured I should make sure everythin' is alright without barging in. So, you've been hanging with Sakura?"  
"You are correct." Rei forces herself to not be nervous.  
"Why?"  
"Do you not approve?"  
He shakes his head quickly. "No. It's great to see her have an older female friend. She lives with a brother and father, so she doesn't get whatever girl talk you girls do with… um, older to younger girls…" He blushes and rubs the back of his head.

Sakura looks at Rei in a puzzled manner. The teen understands that she is not prepared for those upcoming questions. She should ask Doctor Akagi soon.

"Your sister is most kind for allowing me to befriend her."  
"It was you, wasn't it?" Toji averts his gaze from Rei.  
"Excuse me?"  
"Ken mentioned you had full MAGI access. You got her outa that shitty hospital, didn't you?"  
Now, it is time to be nervous. Rei keeps a blank stare, but her left hand twitches. "Yes."

Toji leaps into a hug with Rei. She gasps at the sudden human contact. Her brother hugs her. She could withstand Lieutenant Sohryu hugging her, but student Suzuhara doing the act? She blushes.

His eyes open in fear. He backs away. "Shit. Sorry. I was so happy and wanted to thank my sis's savior for so long. I'm so sorry and-"  
"I understand, but please refrain from doing such actions again."  
"Um, thanks."  
"I will not tell Class Representative Horaki about this incident."  
"Uh…" He shows embarrassment and reddening of his cheeks.  
Rei bows. "Have a nice day. Do not feed Sakura sweets, since I already bought her frozen yogurt one hour ago. I would prefer for my relationship with your sister to remain undisclosed. Thank you."

Rei walks away. The door closes behind her. After visiting Yui Ikari's grave, spending time with Sakura put her mind at ease. The recent conversation did not help. The dinner tonight will be even more upsetting.

* * *

They ate dinner in silence, though Shinji knows why. Neither of them can decide how to start of conversation. _Hey, since your mom committed suicide, you wanna talk about other depressing things? Hey, since we both have asshole fathers, you wanna prank call Misato?_ What the hell can he even do in this situation? Asuka told him something very personal, and he hasn't done crap in return. He looks at the table again, covered in dirty dishes. He can at least clean those up when Asuka showers.

His phone rings. After seeing the number, he answers it. "Hey, Shinji, it's me," Misato says. "I'm going to be out drinking with Kaji. Don't wait up for me, okay?" _I thought she hated that guy._  
"Right. Okay, um, see you later."

He hangs up the phone just as he hears Asuka open up the bathroom door. "Misato?" she asks.  
"Yeah, she'll be late, so, uh." She wears that yellow shirt again, Misato's yellow shirt. Last time she had it on, Asuka did that whole Wall of Jericho thing. She'll do something soon. "Er, we shouldn't wait up for her."  
She smirks. "So she won't be here till tomorrow?"  
"I guess not. She's drinking with Kaji."  
Asuka's smirk turns into a smile. "She definitely won't be here tonight. Maybe they could make up before making out."

 _Did I hear her right? Doesn't she want to be Mr. Kaji's girlfriend or something like that?_

"Um, you're okay with that?"  
"I'm too young for him. He never liked me that way, though I know he still likes me."  
Shinji scratches his head trying to understand what she just meant. "I'll go do the dishes."  
"Okay."

She lays her head down on the table facing Shinji and closes her eyes. He gathers up the plates and washes them. The entire time, he glances back at Asuka. She never opens her eyes. Maybe she fell asleep. He dries off the last dish.

"Hey, Shinji, you wanna kiss me?"

He turns around. Her eyes are open, but he couldn't have heard that right. This's Asuka.

"Huh? What!" His left hand twitches uncontrollably.  
"Kissing, you know? Have you ever done it?" She's actually asking if he wants to kiss her, but her voice sounds… different. Playful? No. Worried? No. Um… Maybe she's just teasing him. Yeah, that's it. She just wants him to say he never kissed so she can tease him.  
 _Well, lying never solves anything._ "No, I haven't." His voice sounds squeaky all of a sudden. _Why is my mouth so dry. Oh my gods, my heartbeat races._

"So let's do it!" She raises her head off the table. He doesn't notice her hands becoming white from gripping the table so hard.  
"But why?"  
"I got nothing else to do." This time, she's definitely sounding playful.  
He looks down. "That's not a good reason."

His legs become wobbly, so he sits down on the floor. Asuka stands up. She takes careful steps over to her roommate. She sits to the left of him and leans back against a cabinet door. He notices she breathes in quick, short breaths.

"Then what is a good reason for you, Shinji?"

He takes a peek at the redhead. She rests her head on her knees, but she has her head turned to face right at him. It also means he has an unrestricted view of her legs. Her shorts slipped back to her, um, pelvis. He looks away.

"I don't know."  
"I just wanna know. No teasing. I promise."  
"Well, I don't think about it much. I didn't think anyone would ever ask me to kiss them, especially now. But, um, I guess I'd wanna… you know… like the girl? I'd want us to know each other, like friends? Doing it with a stranger wouldn't be right. I think we should trust each other too."  
"Let's kiss then."  
He sighs. "Were you even listening?"  
"Every word. You wanna kiss me?"

He turns his head, expecting to see a smirk or something like that. Instead, he sees a blushing girl whose lips tremble. It clicks. _She's my friend, and I guess she trusts me, but likes me? Like… LIKES me?_

He opens his mouth, but his tongue feels puffy and his mouth seems bone dry. "Yeah?" he croaks.

Asuka smiles and leans over. She takes hold of the back of his head. She moves her head closer and closer. Her breathe tickles him. Their lips meet. She presses into him. Her lips and chest feel warm. Arms trembling, he wraps them around her waist. She presses harder causing Shinji to slip onto his back. Asuka doesn't let go.

He's on the bottom; she's on the top. She moans out a happy, feminine gasp. Her entire body touches his. She's so soft, so warm. Her hair slips down over each side of his face. Her blue eyes stare into his.

She ends the kiss and rolls off. Her hand latches onto his. Shinji's mind shut off a while ago, but he still notices her tears.

"Sorry."

"You did nothing wrong, Asuka."  
"You aren't supposed to see me cry. No one does. I don't cry."

He wipes them off with his free hand. They still lay on the tile floor. "Why were you crying?"  
"Because we can't do this."  
"Why!"

Emotions swirl through his soul. Love, or something that feels like love lifts him up. Fear and rejection cause him to crash down. It's a battle of two feelings, each trying to dominate. The conflict tears him apart.

She punches the ground with her free hand. "Because we have to save the world, every time an Angel comes." She clenches his hand hard. "We can't let emotions get in the way, Shinji. I'm sorry I did this. I shouldn't have done this. Instead, I just hurt you, gave you a part of me and took it back."  
"Was that your first kiss?"  
"Yes."  
"Then, I took a part of you and I won't give it back."  
She smiles. "That's really corny."

He rolls onto his side. Her A-10 clips fell off somehow. Her hair is haphazardly sprawled around on the floor.

"I can wait until we win."  
Asuka rolls onto her side and latches onto Shinji. "We're still friends, right?"  
He runs his hand through her flowing red hair. "Best friends."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah."

The door opens. Asuka leaps off of Shinji and runs into the bathroom. He hears the sink turn on and water splashing. _She's drying off the tears… and I'm laying on the floor!_ He stands up. He hears two voices. Mr. Kaji and Misato?

He pokes his head down the hall. A very drunk Misato stands only because Mr. Kaji holds her up.

"Is Misato alright?"  
"Yeah." He gives that well-practiced smile. "She just had too much to drink. She'll have a nasty hangover tomorrow."  
"Need help?"  
"Carried her a few kilometers. A few meters more won't hurt."

She stumbles down the hall and into her room, arms wrapped around the ponytailed man for support. He lays her in bed and kisses her forehead. When he steps out of the bedroom, Asuka enters the living room too.

"I'll be leaving now."  
"We can get section 2 to drive you home, Kaji," she says.  
"No, a man should never be too drunk to walk home. See you all later."  
"Be safe."  
"Take care of Misato, you two. Okay?"

They nod. He walks out of the apartment.

She yawns. "Let's go to bed."  
"Okay."  
"And, Shinji? Thank you for dealing with me. I'm… I'm not easy."  
"Thank you too."  
"For what?"  
"You being open with me."

* * *

Rei sits at a circular table. LCL drips off her hair, though neither Doctor Ritsuko nor Commander Ikari ordered her to dry it further. She takes a sip of her water. Only the doctor eats her food. The commander stares at Rei with his hands folded in front of his mouth.

"You have something you want to say, Rei."  
"Yes, commander."  
"What is it?"  
"I request that you disallow any further tests in the nude where opposite gendered pilots are present."  
"Why?"  
"Because the interpersonal relationship between pilots Sohryu and Ikari are tedious enough. Seeing each other without clothes would cause an unnecessary burden."

Doctor Ritsuko clears her throat. "That was the only one I had to do, but I didn't know you wanted to protect their relationship so much."  
Rei looks at her food, rice and boiled vegetables. "I want Ikari to be happy. She makes him happy. I… want it to stay that way."

Commander Ikari says, "Have you decided on the Fourth Child yet?"  
"But, hasn't the Nevada branch begun to use the Bri-"  
"They don't follow the Marduk Institute. Have you decided yet?"  
"Possibly. I wish to make one final observation, to see if past attitudes remain the same."

The commander nods.

"We have an alteration to the scenario, Rei. Agent Kaji has clawed his way towards our secrets."  
"Will you eliminate him?"  
"I can't have SEELE and Japan's government aggressive yet."  
"Then what will you do?"  
"Nothing. You will fix my problem."  
"Yes, sir."  
"Listen carefully."

 _This is for my brother._

* * *

"Asuka?" Shinji whispers. She hasn't moved in an hour, but she breathes too fast for her to be asleep. "You awake?"

"Yeah." She rolls over and blows rouge strands of hair away from her eyes.  
"What happened tonight? It… it confuses me."  
She smirks. "Baka, I'm confused too."  
"But, I'm still your friend, right?" He sounds scared but not nearly as scared as he feels.  
"Of course."

They stare at each other for a moment. _Those lips touched mine. The same thing that gave me so many insulted and teased me so often… It felt… good tonight._

Asuka slides the covers off her body and stands. Shinji cocks his head. She tiptoes over to his beside and crosses her arms, but not in an angry manner. It's in an awkward way, like she has no idea what she's doing. Then, she lifts up Shinji's covers. His eyes open wide and his body tenses. He holds his breath. She lies down beside him and pulls the covers over both of them. Her eyes never left his.

"A-Asuka?" he squeaks.  
"I'm cold."  
"But, but." Her leg touches his, and she's warm, hot, sweating too.  
"Best friends can do this. We did it before anyway."  
"You were sleep walking though."  
"I can go back if you want."

She starts sliding back his covers. He takes both of her hands in his.

"No."  
"Thanks." She rubs her thumbs across his hands.  
"Is that something friends do too?"  
"I guess. I never had one before you, Shinji."  
"Oh."

For some reason, he becomes sleepy. Maybe it's because of their sync training. Maybe it's just better to sleep next to someone. _It's because I trust her._ Either way, he feels calm.

He hears her give a small giggle.

"Did I do something wrong? What's funny?"  
"Shinji, we made a mature decision, putting the world before our own, um, desires. Do you know what that decision was?"  
"Yeah, we decided to stay close friends."  
"We decided to stay children. We were mature by staying kids. That's funny."  
"Oh, yeah. I get that."  
"Gute Natch, mien Freund." _She sounds happy._  
"Gute Natch."

* * *

Rei watches the security footage from her laptop. Not only has Agent Kaji infiltrated Terminal Dogma, but he types various codes gleaned from others at NERV. Doctor Ritsuko and Major Katsuragi should be more careful with their belongings. In moments, he will stop typing, and the doors to the LCL plant will be open.

Just as he is about to swipe an unauthorized duplicate of Major Katsuragi's security card into the card reader, he stops. She expected this, since the woman presses her pistol on the back of his head; however, he must have known she had been trailing him for a dozen minutes.

"Hi, feeling better this morning?" he asks in a calm manner.  
"I'm sober now. Thank you." She also sounds conversational. Human interaction sometimes perplexes Rei.  
"I'm glad to hear that."  
"Is this your real profession, Kaji, or something you just do part time?"  
"What do you think?"  
The gun has not left his head. "It looks like there's two Ryoji Kajis here. One works for NERV's special inspection and the other appears to be a spy for the Japanese government."

He shrugs his shoulders. "Hm, so you knew."  
She appears frustrated. "Don't underestimate NERV."  
"Was this ordered by Ikari?"  
"No, my initiative, but if you keep doing this other job, you'll die."  
"Perhaps not. Commander Ikari is still using me for his own ends; however, I am sorry I kept this secret from you."  
"I'll let it pass, as payment for your help yesterday."  
"I appreciate that, but you should know the commander and Ritsuko are hiding something from you too, and…" In the blink of an eye, he swipes the security card through the reader, unlocking the door. "This is it!"

The door slides into both the floor and ceiling. The major holsters her gun.

"Oh my god," she says. "Is it an Eva?" She shakes her head. "No! It can't be!"

They walk inside. The door closes behind them, though they do not notice. "Yes," he says. "The key to the Second Impact and everything that happened since. The starting point of everything. This is Adam."

They stare at a white being. Nailed to a cross with each of his hands, it bleeds LCL from being torn in half. Dozens of human sized legs stick out from the behemoth's wound. The Spear of Longinus pierces its chest. A mask, SEELE's emblem, covers the Angel's face.

Rei closes her laptop. "No," she says.

Agent Kaji and Major Katsuragi whirl around. The woman lowers her quickly drawn gun when she recognizes the girl.

"She is Lilith."

* * *

Misato's Voice: "Wow, that was a lot of stuff. We also had some time go by with no Angels, so let's go kill a black and white beach ball! Oh, we'll also get to see a pilot get eaten by the Angel's shadow, me bitch slap Ritsuko, and a whole bunch of mental analysis stuff. It's time for a train car!"

* * *

Author's notes: Before I start jabbering about everything, I'd like to say I'd REALLY appreciate reviews for this chapter. Every scene has things I'd want to see your take on. I know I'll get at least three. (I always get at least three… except once.) However, I did a lot that some of you may not like, may love, or just be confused about. Please, ask questions if needed. Please, just review parts that interest you. This is one of two chapters that'll shake things up for the rest of this fanfic. I try not to "review beg", but I also want this to be a great read. Reviews quite vital to me in that regard. Thank you!

Anyway, I did a lot of stuff this episode, including a bunch that may not be so obvious (and some that totally is). Hell, I've been adding small, hidden details for a while now. I'll mention what they were after the foreshadowing occurs.

Rei cries. Why? Well, she actually had an emotional response (blushing) in the canon episode, making it only her second time of a prominent display of emotions towards Shinji (the other being after Ramiel). Plus, I've been hinting at it for a while. Rei's really sad that she can't have kids.

Asuka does confusing Asuka things. While the general goal was achieved (being Asuka and Shinji decide to be best friends after they kiss), Asuka totally went off script. I have a hard time figuring out what she'll do in the moment. For example, telling Shinji about her mother and asking him to play Bach's fourth Cello Suite was all her, not me. Still, I loved those scenes. I hope I managed to capture adolescent awkwardness between those two.

Shinji sees his two copilots cry, talks to his dad, and feels super confused. Hell, everyone gets curveballs thrown at them this episode. Good news though, Shinji actually holds Asuka. Can he handle all of these things in the long run?

Oh, did you think Rei was just… sitting in Terminal Dogma on her laptop, waiting for Misato and Kaji to arrive? For that matter, did you think Asuka and Shinji were about to make this fic even less suitable for children?

On that matter, I find some authors' interpretations of this scene interesting when the kiss "works out in a good way". Shinji and Asuka kiss - they realize they love each other and Shinji holds Asuka - they often proceed to have fun in bed - they learn their mothers are dead at about this time as well - Misato finds out and freaks (or is totally fine with it, no middle ground) - Shinji and Asuka justify their relationship with "We save the world and suffer. Just let us experience this one good thing before we die."

Early on in my planning stages, I decided to twist around that process into something I haven't seen before. Shinji learns Asuka walked onto her mother's suicide - they realize their feelings aren't exactly platonic - Shinji and Asuka kiss - the two justify not having a romantic relationship BECAUSE they have to save the world - Shinji holds Asuka…

Well, I wanted this fic to be different. There was yet another twist. (Btw, I'm not doing things different just to be different. I try to ensure everything I do make sense considering my original change to the canon.) I've been building up to this for a while anyway, but there's still more to come. Some readers may have understood a few of the hints too.

Wow, there's so much more I could talk about for this one episode. I didn't even mention Rei's dinner with Gendo and Ritsuko or how Toji figured out what Rei's been doing with Sakura. This'll be my longest chapter yet, so I'll stop talking now. Feel free to ask about anything though.

Replies to Reviews:

Divine above question, I am glad you love it. As an author, those types of reviews make me smile, knowing that I'm doing something others enjoy. Thanks!

ADeadDieHard, yeah… I was debating with myself a lot on how to transition from berserk Unit 00 to waking up in a hospital. I decided on doing it without warning because that's how I felt like it would've been with Shinji. On moment, he's in a mind screw. The next, he sees an unfamiliar (though increasingly familiar) ceiling. If you'd specifically want me to tell you your influence, I will, but it has all improved the story for sure.

Traitor of All Traitors, yeah, that was down-in-the-dumps, drunk Misato. We glimpsed this side of her during my Magma Diver (she was crying by Shinji's bedside), but this one drove it home. She's feeling really guilty behind the façade of happiness.

PrometheusDark, first, thank you so much for that compliment. I'm very curious to see what you think about my version of the kiss scene, since I know you're an AsuShin fan.

It's fun to write Shinji and Asuka scenes. They both hardly have any idea what they themselves are doing, and they have almost no clue how to properly interpret the other one. Asuka can't really grasp Shinji's viewpoint and selflessness, but she does know he honestly cares about Asuka (and not because she's Asuka, the pilot of Unit 02). Shinji… It's fun to write with him when he's confused with Asuka. He's getting a little better, but he still has a long way to go. At least they're getting along quite well in my story.

Also, poor Asuka doesn't get to try out Unit 01. I can see why canon Asuka felt left out during that scene.

Rei and the flower… That flower has a notable symbolism I'm tying into it. It'll show up at the end of every "section" of this story too. Rei showing Shinji her flower has been one of my favorite scenes so far. I really like writing Rei with the word _sister_ in mind. (She's so adorable!)

While Asuka was the only one who confronted Misato (though, I did offhandedly mention that Misato apologized to Shinji during this chapter), Rei confronted Gendo and Ritsuko about it… in the most Rei-like fashion possible.

I essentially added something resembling a structure to the canon poem, and I made it more personal for Rei. She made more associations with the people she knows. Plus, it shows she's making clear attempts to analyze the world. While she may not feel as though she's a part of the world, she does interact with it. Other than being Shinji's twin, that may be the biggest change Rei developed so far.

The ominous feeling of dread is intentional, and I feel like I'm being successful in that regard. When I re-watch these episodes just before Bardiel, I can't help but know that everything and everyone will go tumbling down shortly. The readers of this story don't know what I'll do, but I hope they'll see everything (Shinji and Asuka's kiss, the scenes with Sakura and Rei, Misato's sudden involvement with spy stuff, and so much more) and worry about them all. Especially Sakura. We all know that she's sorta "my" character in this story. Y'all don't know what I'll do with her. The pilots at least have some plot armor for the time being. It's not like I'll be killing pilots soon, right? Right!

I'm really excited to hear you liking this story so much. To be honest, I readily admit I'm not the best writer in the world, but who cares? I'm having fun doing this. I think y'all are too. It's hard to believe I'm about half way complete. At this rate of once a week updates, I'll be done by November or December depending on how long I stretch out EoE and if I do episodes 25 and 26.

Notable enough (for me) things that happened outside of canon:

Asuka doesn't go on the date and stops her crush on Kaji.

Rei tells Shinji that she can't be a mother (and cries).

Misato apologized to Shinji about making him do that test nude with his sisters. (I referenced that conversation in another conversation in this chapter. Don't worry. You didn't miss an entire scene.)

Rei's with Shinji and Gendo when they visit the grave. Gendo also says a few things differently.

Shinji learns a lot about Asuka's past.

They kiss but decide to remain "friends".

Rei interrupts Kaji and Misato when they find Lilith in NERV's basement.

Thank you all for your reviews, favorites, and follows!


	17. Sickness unto Death

Chapter 16

 _Asuka is my friend? Asuka is my friend. Asuka is my friend!_

 _Yeah… keep on telling yourself that, Shinji. Friends totally kiss each other. Well, it was only once, and we talked about it. Friends absolutely sleep in the same room together. Um, that was my father fault? Yes, that's the reason. Friends can sleep in the same bed… Hmm, I got nothing on that. There's an explanation for that time just before we fought the twin Angel. I could say that the time after the kiss was just us being scared kids, but… last night too? That's two days in a row. What else could Asuka be?_

 _Sister! That's it! Asuka is my sister. My smart, female, bossy, beautiful, and caring sister. Would she be my younger or older sister? I she never told me her age… or her birthday. Rei would know. Maybe it'll be coming soon. I could bake her a cake, maybe some German one._

* * *

While Asuka steps into the bathroom for a shower, Shinji sets down a breakfast for Misato. She sips from the cup of soup, a new fish stock given by Dr. Akagi. He pours himself into making a good breakfast. Cooking has become a hobby of his, something to occupy his mind. Plus, it helps others.

"Shinji?" _Huh, different tone of voice. She's trying to act casual, but there's something deeper she wants to know._  
"Yes, Misato?"  
"Has Rei said anything interesting to you, maybe something about Angels or Evas?"  
He tilts his head. _That was unexpected._ "No, nothing new. Why ask?"  
"Oh," she chuckles. She bites down on a sausage and speaks with her mouth full. "I joked around about Angels being, um, real ones with halos and wings with Ritsuko. I only realized Rei was around after the conversation. Just wanted to be sure she didn't take that literally."  
"Yeah, nothing like that." _What are you trying to find out, Misato?_

Asuka screams. Shinji drops his pan on the ground and rushes over to the bathroom. She opens the door with her red towel wrapped around her waist. Water cascades down her hair and soaks the towel.

"I got in the shower. Too hot, and the magma was… Ug!" She pulls up the towel to cover more of… herself.  
"I'm sorry."

Misato laughs in the other room. She saw what happened.

She crosses her eyebrows. "You're always apologizing, Third! Do you really think it's your fault that I turned the shower on too hot and thought I was dying in lava again?"  
"Sorry."  
"Apologies are your condition response, aren't they?"  
"Sor… Huh, I guess." He shrugs at that realization.  
Her face softens. "Look. Try to not say sorry to me, at all. I don't care if you did something wrong or not. Just find other words to break outa that habit. Ok?"  
"Yeah, but why are you doing this?"  
"What are friends for, Shinji? I'd hug you but…" She points at her towel.  
He blushes, redder than Asuka's towel wrapped around her- _Think non-perverted thoughts, Shinji. Be respectful._ "Um, sure. Thanks for being nice."  
"Anytime."

She walks back into the bathroom and closes the door. He hopes this time she puts the water on a better setting. It happened to him twice before too. Stepping into a hot shower used to be a warm, enveloping feeling, like a hug. Now, it forces him to remember that volcano, where Asuka almost died.

 _It's just another sacrifice I had to make. I don't mind, though. Rei, Asuka, and Misato are alive. I gladly give up hot showers for that._

* * *

Rei sits in Unit 00 on standby, though she does not see the point. Her Eva remains the weakest of the three. If either goes berserk, then her best chance of minimizing damage is becoming a giant punching bag. If an Angel would attack in that moment, then her Eva, a pilot, and the other pilot's Eva would be out of commission. Thus, either Rei would sync with the remaining Eva if she remained conscious during the beating or the other pilot would miraculously sync with the roommate's Eva. In either case, their best case scenario involves a pilot using an unfamiliar Evangelion.

 _To summarize, we currently risk the lives of the world because… Why? I do not understand. Lieutenants Ikari and Sohryu desire to try the other's Evangelion. Commander Ikari approved the test against the wishes of Major Katsuragi and Doctor Akagi, though he wishes for his involvement to remain anonymous. I do not know why, but I do know that I will protect my brother and his… friend who is a girl. Perhaps that word does not convey their underlying relationship. I shall consider more tonight; however, I need to focus._

She watches as her brother inserts Sohryu's entry plug into Unit 02. She does not open a communication channel. Instead, she and her Eva stand in the adjoining test room. Rei watches a security feed. To her surprise, the Second Child stands at the feet of her unit and gives a thumbs up.

He hails her over the communication channel. She accepts.

"I'm about to start. You ready, Rei?" He shows no sign of worry.  
"Yes."  
"Okay. I hope this goes better than last time."  
"I believe Unit 02 responds more calmly my unit."

He chuckles. _Why did he qualify my statement as humorous?_ She sees his face grimace for a moment and closes his eyes. Then, he opens them.

"Well, it's more peaceful than yours."

Another communication line opens. It does not show her face, since pilot Sohryu uses a radio.

In a lighthearted manner, she asks, "Does it smell like me, Shinji?"  
He scratches his head. "Yeah."  
"Oh, really? I… didn't expect that. Hey, Misato, what's the Invincible Shinji syncing at?" She pauses for a moment. Someone must be conveying that information to her. "Shinji! Guess what?"  
"What?"  
"You're hovering a bit over fifty right now. My baby must really like you for your first time."  
"I, uh, feel warm in here. Liked? It's a nice Eva, but I better stop. I can sync. That's what we wanted to know anyway."

He ejects the plug. The Second Child runs down the hall to another cage, where Unit 01 awaits her. Her brother does not walk to the showers. Instead, he follows her to also be present when she syncs.

 _She did like him. I did not expect those results. She never liked Yui or Commander Ikari from what I have heard._

The lead pilot slides into her brother's entry plug. Without hesitation she inserts herself into Unit 01. Again, the pilot opens an audio/visual display while the pilot on the ground uses a radio.

"Here goes nothing!" Her smile twists into a grimace. "Scheisse."  
"You okay, Asuka?"  
"Ug, your Eva's a bitch. Damn thing's makes me cramp like I'm on my pe-" She pauses for a moment. "Wondergirl, are these conversations recorded?"  
"Yes."  
"Then, I'll explain how shitty I'm feeling later. Major, what's my sync?" She clutches her lower abdomen and grunts as Rei faintly hears the operation director's voice. "Mein Gott, I wouldn't want to fight feeling like this. I'd call it a victory to have this thirty percent. Shinji, you can keep your asshole Eva. I'm getting out of here."

She ejects the plug. Rei breathes a sigh of relief and ends her own time in Unit 00. While it may be the weakest Eva, it gives her a sense of oneness with the world and herself. The other Evas can act fickle, a result from the souls within. Her Eva, on the other hand, does not change her mind. The beast will fight for revenge unceasingly, unpleasant but consistent.

* * *

"Can you all hear me?" asks Misato. "I've sent you all the known target data."

Asuka glances over the information displayed on her screen. It's a giant floating marble with a funky AT field. It's also a dick who forced her to wake up early this morning.

"That's literately all we know right now. Approach it carefully and observe its reaction."

While she does appreciate the Major's calming voice, her plan sucks. _Walk up to a mysterious Angel and let it do whatever the Hell it wants. That doesn't seem safe. The octahedron Angel almost killed Rei and Shinji. Shouldn't they just shoot it with one artillery and see how it responds?_

"And if possible, I want you to lure it out of the city. Back up each other, understood?"  
"Yes, ma'am." Asuka disconnects her umbilical cable and puts in a new one. Even when Misato was talking to her, she was running. There's no way she'll let Shinji or Rei face that floating testicle alone. "Shinji and Rei, do not engage until we're all in position."  
"I have just reached my position." Rei appears calm. Since she has one eye closed, Asuka assumes she's aiming her rifle at the Angel.  
"Give me a few more seconds," she says.  
He nods.

She stops running and leans against the skyscraper. On the other side of the street, Shinji leans against another skyscraper. He holds a pistol. She has a badass ax, though it won't do her much good if the Angel continues to hover that far overhead.

"Everyone ready?"  
"Yes," the twins say together.  
"Shinji, fire a few at that fat bastard. If he comes to you, I'll hack at it. Rei, you fire when you got a clean shot. Everyone understand?"  
"Yes," they say in unison again.  
"Go!"

Asuka's heart pounds in her ears louder than Shinji's pistol. He fires three rounds at the black and white marble. He aims well. The bullets fly into the target. It disappears. _What the fu-_

"Patter blue confirmed!" yells one of the technicians. "It's under Units 01 and 02!"

The shadow spreads beneath outwards like a ripple in a pond. The Evas sink like it's quicksand. Asuka's mind races for a way out while Shinji screams. There's nothing to hold onto. She can't run away. The parts of her legs that are submerged feel numb, as if they aren't even there.

The black and white marble appears above their head again. Rei fires three shots, but the ball vanishes again. Her bullets strike a skyscraper. The skyscrapers around their Evas sink inside too.

"Asuka! Give me your hand!" Shinji hyperventilates between breaths. "I'll throw you out!" _Sorry, baka. Not today._  
"Okay."

She leans over and so does he. They almost can't reach the other, but their hands lock. Before he could pull, she lifts him up. She sinks into the black even faster. Misato screams something at them, but Asuka does notice it.

"What are you doing, Asuka!"  
"Saving you."

With a final heave, she lifts up Unit 01. Everything but her arms and head are under the black. Shinji screams in anguish. Tears roll down his face even in the LCL. She hurls him to safety using an AT field. She smiles.

"Open your heart to your Eva."

Before she could ask Rei what she meant, her world became darkness. Lonely, cold darkness.

* * *

"God fucking damn it!" Her brother punches a metal crate. He shakes not in pain but anger. "I should've stopped her! I could've saved her!"

Rei feels afraid. The commander can be off-putting with his calculated coldness. Angels attempt to murder those she cares for, but this is different. She never saw her brother act this way. He would choke the Angel to death with his bare hands if he could.

He turns to face the Angel. In between themselves and the monster stand two Evangelion, purple and blue. The Angel floats, seemingly content after engulfing Lieutenant Sohryu. He glares, a cold glare. She has only seen that face on one other person. Having one Commander Ikari is already enough.

 _He needs comfort._

"Misato ordered you to fall back, Shinji." Her voice sounds meek, diminutive compared to his.  
"And I will never forgive her for that." He clenches his hands into fists.  
"No, she ensured that our friend has the most resources possible to save her."  
He lowers his head. "But she's alone in the dark. She hates being alone. She's afraid of the dark."

He leans forward and cries into Rei's shoulder. She supports him, so that he does not fall. Even at this moment, her mind races to find a method of rescuing her. Countless variables, a being that defies known physics, and the emotional stability of all NERV personnel are taken into account. The emotional stability may be the damning factor. Pilot Ikari is not the only one with tempers flaring. In fact, Rei may be the only one with a level head.

 _For once, my condition may be a benefit. If it saves her, then the affliction would become worthwhile._

Major Katsuragi speaks at least. Before, she stood off at the edge of the railing, arms crossed and head turned to the floating sphere. "Asuka did exactly what she should've. She followed my orders, ensured everyone was in position, and put her highest priority on protecting her wing mates. This is my fault, not yours and not hers. She needs a promotion when she gets back."

Rei hugs her brother. "I promise we will save Asuka." She closes her eyes. "I promise." If she kept her eyes open, then he or the major could have seen the slightest orange glow.

* * *

Asuka looks at her timer. _Twelve hours of nothing. I hope Shinji's alright._ She resists the urge to power on her Eva again. Outside exists in a state of nothingness. No sonar and no visuals could give her any information. It's as if she and her Eva became the only thing in the world.

She leans back against the frigid metal chair. Her plugsuit provides no warmth. She pulls up her legs and wraps her arms around herself. "I never knew loneliness could hurt so much." Her entire life, there has been presences around her. Her family, NERV personnel, Kaji, her new family. No matter the time of her life, she was around other. Until now, she never knew how comforting their presence could be. They reaffirm that she is alive, since they respond to her. Now, she has nothing. _Am I even alive, or is this some form of heaven? No, this'd be Hell._

"I'm hungry." She thinks back to Shinji's cooking. Her roommate doesn't possess the skills of a chef, but he does put everything he got into it. Each bite she takes isn't cuisine, but it's so much better. Each mouthful tells her that the cook cares about her. He wants her to be happy, to be taken care of. It's a nice feeling, one she wants to experience again even if she still complains about he uses too many Japanese dishes. German ones are better after all.

 _Baka, I never did tell you how much I appreciate your cooking._

* * *

"What did all of that mean?" Her brother sits on a box. Rei leans against a crate. The NERV personnel seem more depressed after hearing doctor Akagi's explanation. He has his hands folded in front of his mouth. As far as Rei knows, pilot Ikari had never seen his father strike the same pose. _Perhaps it is hereditary._

She puts a hand on his shoulder. "The Angel's body is the shadow. Its shadow is the sphere. She was taken into a Sea of Dirac, a pocket dimension most likely."  
"So there's nothing we can do to fight it."  
"The Angel exists, thus it can be killed. You should sleep. She will need you at maximum potential when we rescue her."  
"I'll never be able to sleep until she's outa there."  
"She would do the same for you."

Rei notices the doctor and the major walking away from the other NERV employees. She sees the tension in their posture. She follows them, not able to comfort her brother any more. The two women stand far away from everyone else. Rei stands in the shadows to observe and listens. Apparently, they already spoke a few words before she arrived.

Pilot Sohryu's guardian clenches her fists. "A forced Eva salvage?"  
"It's the only possibility that might work." Doctor Akagi remains calm. "We drop all existing N2 mines onto its center while simultaneously activating the AT fields of the remaining Evas. It disrupts the Angel's imaginary circuit for a millisecond giving us a chance to direct all the firepower at the Sea of Dirac. It hopefully would expel the Eva."  
"But we don't know if Asuka could withstand that! Your plan is not a rescue operation, Ritsuko!"  
"At least I have a plan."  
"You're going to kill Asuka!"  
She looks into the furious woman's eyes. "Whatever happens to her will be solely your fault, major."

She slaps the blonde. Her glasses fall on the ground, and one of the lenses shatter. Doctor Akagi clutches the side of her face.

"I am assuming control of this operation. You are emotionally compromised, Misato."

She walks away and so does Rei. They leave Katsuragi standing alone in the dead of night.

 _I need a better solution._

* * *

Asuka opens her eyes. _Where am I?_ She sniffs the air. It feels sticky and smell like blood.

"Blood!" she screams. Her shouting echoes in the eternal expanse of nothingness as she yanks back at the emergency hatch. "Get me out! Misato, Ritsuko, open it up." Spikes of pain jab into her arms. The LCL around her has thickened. Bits of debris float around. "Shinji! Shinji! Help me!"

She collapses back into her seat. She shakes from the cold and exhaustion.

 _I'm going to die in the thing I wanted most. I wanted to be an Eva pilot. I wanted to be in here fighting Angels. Now, this'll be my tomb. Fate's a bitch. Then again, maybe God's pissed off at me for killing his Angels, assuming they're his. Huh, Fallen Angels, literately. Ha ha. They got kicked out from heaven to cause Hell on earth. That'd be really funny if it didn't cause so much shit._

She closes her eyes.

 _I'm so cold, so tired. Maybe if I fall asleep, then I'll wake up safe. Shinji will save me. He promised he'll never leave me. He won't. He… I want to be warm. He makes me… warm? Warm._

She hears clanking. Her vision returns slowly, but someone's watching her. She feels it.

"Who's there?" She blinks a few times. _A train car?_ She sits in an old train car. The windows show only red outside, blood red. Sitting in front of her is… her. Her? A young her. Four at most, the same age when her mother died and when she became an Evangelion pilot. Her eyes look a little too big and her dress is black and white. She cannot be herself. She'd never wear something so ugly.

"Who? Asuka Sohryu." The voice sounds far away. She does not see the other's mouth move, but her vision remains blurry. It's as if she's stuck in that one second after waking up. Awake but… not awake.

"That's me," she says. "I'm me. You aren't."  
"I am you. This self incorporates another self. The self has always been composed of two selves."  
"Bullshit."  
"We are the self that is observed and the self which observes itself. To expound, there is the Asuka Sohryu that exists in your mind, Shinji's mind, Rei's mind, and Hikari's mind. All are different Asukas but each is a true Asuka Sohryu. What you fear is the Asuka Sohryu that exists in the minds of other, especially one."  
"I'm afraid of nothing."

The voice pauses for a moment.

"Truly? Would you be satisfied if Shinji feared you? What if he knew why you shared the same bed?"  
"Shut up!"  
"Do you agree that fear the Asuka Sohryus of others' minds?"  
"Fine."  
"Do you know why?"  
"I don't want to be alone."  
"You don't want to be hurt."

She sees images, her memories. Her mother's dead face. Her father having sex… no…. making passionate love with her mother's nurse. Her phone endlessly dialing Kaji's phone number.

"They hurt you."  
"Shut up!"

She sees the world from a lower perspective, one of a child. "I hate you! I hate you!" She hears her own words without speaking them. Her father, almost ten years younger, stares down at her. Her new mother puts her hands in her pockets, too afraid to touch her new daughter.  
"Throw your tantrums elsewhere." He turns his back on her. The wife follows.

She sees a memory from two days ago. She sees Shinji's face. He says, "Best friends." She feels his hand running through her hair. She remembers that joy of having a friend who understands her.

"Does he understand you?" asks the other. "The Asuka Sohryu in his mind is different than the one in your mind. He does not understand."  
"No! He does!"  
"You deceive yourself to convince yourself that he knows you. No one knows you, not even yourself."  
"Anyone can understand each other!"  
"No, and neither does he."  
"Shut up."

The other leans forward, the first movement Asuka has seen so far.

"Really? For example, does he know why you sleep in his bed? Do you know why?"  
"I was cold."  
"You were starved. Starvation is manageable when there is no sustenance, but the creature devours when one is found. You starve for closeness. He does not understand that."  
"Liar!"  
"Self-deception. You have been closing your eyes and covering your ears to hide from reality."

She sees their mental link during their first meeting, their first hug, their first kiss.

"Do you not see that you based your entire existence, your entire self-worth, around a boy just as confused as you are? He bases his existence around the women of his life. Rei Ayanami, Misato Katsuragi, and Asuka Sohryu. They are his justification for existence just as he is your justification. You saved him from the shadow out of selfishness. Without him, you become nothing."  
"I am something! I have worth!"  
"Then why did Kyoko Sohryu choose a doll to replace you as her daughter? Why did your father cast you aside? Who does Misato Katsuragi love more? Which woman does Ryoji Kaji desire? Who would Shinji Ikari choose to save first, Asuka Sohryu or Rei Ayanami?"  
"I… Stop!"  
"Asuka Sohryu is never the first choice. She is an unpleasant alternative, a substitute. There will always be a better doll, better relative, a better pilot, a better woman, or a better friend than you."  
"Stop! I'm begging you! Stop!"

She falls onto the floor and weeps. She has no worth. She doesn't matter.

A hand rests on her should. "Arise, and do not be afraid."

Asuka looks up. The train car has been cast into darkness. Only the moon and stars illuminate the world, fighting against the black outside the window. The other girl no longer exists. Instead, Rei offers her hand. Asuka grasps it, and a blue haired girl pulls her up.

"Shall mere words break a fiery woman?"  
What are you doing here, Wonderg-" She's cut off by a sudden hug. Asuka stands rigid. "You aren't Rei."  
"I am what I am, but that is not the question for this moment. What do you want?" The Rei lookalike ends the hug. Asuka notices how grin, exactly like Shinji's genuine grins.  
"What do you mean?"  
"What do you want in life?"  
"I want to be wanted."  
"You need a friend, so does he."  
"What do you mean?"  
"If two lie down together, they will keep warm. How can you be warm alone?"

Everything disappears. Asuka sits in the entry plug again. She feels cold, deathly cold. The heat system has given out, and she has no one to keep warm with.

"I'm cold. I've always been cold. I'll die cold."

She stops shaking; she stops breathing. Her vision becomes dark, and her body becomes weightless.

Her last sight is her mother.

Her final feeling is a touch. Her mother touched her cheek.

* * *

Rei hears the bridge crew manage the soldiers. In mere moments, the swarm of aircraft will drop N2 mines onto the Angel and thus Lieutenant Sohryu as well. She looks at her brother over their communication channel, face dead set on their mission.

She sighs. No one will be pleased with their act of rebellion, but she must serve her mission. She must ensure her brother remains stable. Their friend provides that stability, thus they cannot lose her. The commander would agree with their decision. She is sure of that.

Rei grips her controls. When the N2 mines strike, she will provide shielding for the entire city. The Third Child will jump into the Angel to extend his AT field to protect their comrade. While he places himself in incalculable danger, she knows that he could never allow her to make that leap.

The ground shakes as if an earthquake strikes, but the feeling does not emanate from the earth. The Angel vibrates as jagged, red crack form across its flat body. The NERV technicians yell about not knowing the situation; however, Rei smiles. _She saved her daughter._

The sphere shifts into a deep black. A red hand jabs its way out of the surface. Blood rains onto the ground.

"Asuka!" her brother yells in joy. He sprints to the sphere and steps on the actual Angel. It no longer absorbs matter.

Unit 02 tears out of its prison and lands on the ground, shattering the Angel. Above, the sphere bursts into blood which pours on top of the three Evas. Unit 02 roars to the heavens above. Her brother stops just short, seeing the primal rage.

"Asuka?" he hails over their communications.

Unit 02 turns to him as all four of its eyes glow. It tilts its head. Then, it turns itself off, a full minute after it must have run out of power. He catches Unit o02 and lays it on the ground. He rips out the entry plug and places it next to the downed Eva.

"We need a medical crew here immediately," Rei tells to the NERV personnel. She turns her Evangelion off as her brother does the same. She ejects her entry plug and follows her brother to Lieutenant Sohryu's… Asuka's entry plug. Their lead pilot would have opened it by now if physically able. Shinji pries it open himself. Rei stands back, not wanting to force herself into a private situation.

Asuka sits in her pilot's chair and stares up. Shinji leaps onto her and hugs the girl. "Asuka!" He lets his tears flow.  
"I wanted to be with you." Her voice sounds distant, reflective. Then, she closes her eyes. Exhaustion took over. She needed the rest.

 _I wanted to see you too, Asuka._

* * *

Shinji stares at his friend. Even though she sleeps, he holds her hand anyway. She wanted to be with him, so he ensures that she will wake up with him. What was it like, to be alone and in a different dimension? It must have been hell for her, just to save him. He doesn't deserve a friend like this.

He hears Misato snoring outside the hospital room's door. Even though they agreed to take shifts, their guardian was exhausted. Rei passed out two hours ago. They put her in their chair next to Misato's. She asked to never become too far away for when Asuka woke.

"Hey." Her hand squeezes his.  
He smiles. "Hi."  
She pulls him closer, "Don't leave me."  
"I promise."

* * *

Misato's voice: "After Unit 04 and its mysterious pilot have a successful activation test, the United States ships both Units 04 and 03 to Japan. With time running out, Rei must decide who will become the Fourth Child. Also, Kaji shows Shinji his melons."

* * *

Author's notes: (I have two specific questions in here. One's the next paragraph; the other's the final paragraph of my author's notes. Thank you if you answer them!)

Hey, would you wanna guess the names of the two pilots before they're revealed? Really… I'd love to see you guess (though one could be sorta obvious due to my clues). Even a review saying nothing but "Mana Kirishima and a time traveling Aki Ikari!" would be great. (Btw, neither of those guesses are correct. Surprise!)

Well, a lot happened this chapter too. I can also finally tell y'all one of my sneaky preview thingies. "A red shoe squashes the white and black hat, a girl's shoe." That was from when Shinji and Asuka met. Even then, I knew the redhead will be the one to defeat the black and white Leliel. I also know that was way too obscure for anyone to get other than me. The others will make more sense though.

To be honest, I do feel pretty bad for what I did to Asuka. She got brought to tears over being nice and opening up to others, as if it was something wrong. Leliel didn't care though. It simply desired to understand its prisoner. I made a rule (one of many) before I started where I won't force scenes to be pleasant. Plus, that scene will have a bunch of long term repercussions. Oh, and this's Asuka first indisputable solo kill.

So… What was all of that stuff I did to Asuka anyway? In the anime, the Angel showed Shinji how screwed up he is mentally and socially. I did the spirit of that idea with Asuka. She's terrified of rejection and starves for real love (of any form). Does this mean she was doing everything out of selfishness? Not necessarily. Nothing's ever that simple in Evangelion. Am I right? Furthermore, this's Asuka. I write her in a FAR less straightforward manner than any of my other characters.

Speaking about Shinji, he didn't get to do much this chapter. It turned out to be a bit more Asuka and Rei focused that what I anticipated. Still, we got to see him temporarily lose his temper and brood like Gendo. One good thing about having this story planned out instead of winging it is that I can do a lot of foreshadowing… :)

I gave even more reveals for Rei this chapter. (Don't read too fast or you'd miss them.) She also finally started mentally referring to Shinji and Asuka by their names instead of their titles. Hurray! Shinji is much faster to type than Lieutenant Ikari.

Oh, Train Car Rei came again, but this time it was to Asuka. I'm pretty much forcing myself to not use this character all the time because TCR is absolutely fun to write. Some of you may also pick up on the major references she had in her dialogue.

Lastly, Misato and Ritsuko both acted a bit different from canon. Misato (and Kaji) have much more knowledge of the Evas at this point. Ritsuko seems to be more sympathetic to the pilots (but is still willing to nuke Asuka).

Before I address my comments, I'd like to thank y'all. This week, my little story will become the most reviewed Eva fanfic published in the last six months here. It'll probably become the fifth most followed soon too.

That also brings me to another question. Favorites seem to be lower. Thus, this question's given to those who haven't clicked that wonderful favorite button (or recently did). What caused you not to favorite this? I'm curious. I want this to be a really good read, so I'm always glad to hear criticism and suggestions. (Also, y'all gave me a lot of favorites, follows, and reviews this week. Thank you!)

Replies to comments:

ADeadDieHard, I agree. I kept on writing a great ending point; however, I knew there was more I wanted to do with the chapter. Also, what you said was exactly what I was going for. I noticed a positive outcome often involved a sexual situation between the two. I went for a positive outcome without hitting the bases. It fit more tonally with my story anyway.

PrometheusDark, I was wondering if that would become your favorite chapter. Hurray! It was.

Yeah, they're both confused, but their communication's good enough to sorta overcome that. Oh, Asuka's talk with Kaji also explains why he went to the wedding so disheveled. He spent his morning being genially helpful to Asuka.

Rei has also acted as a better bridge between the two Ikari males. While neither really talk to the other, they both talk with Rei, thus the males have a (slightly) better understanding of each other.

Rei's reveal to Shinji that she's sterile was hard to write, but the result stirred up emotions. I did mull over that scene a bunch. I was worried it wouldn't "fit in" to well. Fortunately, it seems to be quite popular (though still sad, even for me).

"Now I need to find a fanfic where Auntie Rei babysits Shin-chan's and Asuka's children!" Now, I really want to write a oneshot of that scene. It seems like it could give deadly amounts of cuteness. One day…

John Titor, I love word walls. There's no need to apologize for that. Word walls are very encouraging for me to see as a writer. It shows my readers feel "something" about my story where they become motivated to speak about it. I take them as compliments and find them motivating.

First, your analysis of Rei was amazing. I… can't really say much else without going into spoiler territory; however, I REALLY appreciate your review.

I try to write Asuka as confrontational (especially since she's the only confrontational pilot), but she's much better at directing that confrontation. I do wholeheartedly agree that she acts more predicable than canon. Saying that she's a faithful adaptation means a lot to me, though. Thank you.

Shinji… He's both hard and easy to write. His relationship with his father has a bunch of tugging factors. He abandoned him (at an age where it's easier to remember that betrayal), but his father also never abandoned Rei. His sister got screwed up somehow when he was away, but he knows his father does care for Rei. Plus, he's not nearly as dependent on Gendo as canon-Shinji.

Shinji still wants to know what went wrong with Rei but there's no way for him to find that out. Gendo and Kozo are basically never there. Ritsuko keeps herself thrown into her work (and isn't exactly a friendly person). Rei doesn't want to talk about it. Shinji doesn't seem confrontational enough to go prying out information anyway. As for how I write him, I think it's a mixture of both. I tend to write characters with Shinji's traits more easily than others (such as Asuka's); however, I also meticulously planned out his character arc. So far, it's the one that deviated the least from my initial plan.

I'm extremely happy to hear that you find this a fun and easy read. (Up until this year, my prose was normally pretty tough to read, a major downfall of mine.) Emotions are the thing that I like writing the most. Showing them unfold is particularly enjoyable. Also… the ending… yeah. I just hope my writing will be good enough to capture the emotions well. If I can, then I'll be very happy.

Lautaro94, I've kept Yui out of the spotlight intentionally. She will most certainly become much more prominent soon enough. I try to focus on just a couple of character dynamics at a time. First it was Shinji and Rei along with Misato and Shinji. Then, it was Asuka and Shinji, Asuka and Rei, Rei and Sakura, and Shinji and Gendo. Now, Yui and Kaji (among possibly others) will get some (much needed) attention because… I all but ignored both of them. Ha ha. Sorry.

Also, you want to see Aunt Rei with Asuka and Shinji's kid too? Interesting…

Traitor of All Traitors, I did wonder a bunch on how to show how Kaji and Misato's story changes due to what they learned about Lilith (among possibly other things too in the conversation). How do I convey that from the teens' POV? Well, some of the things the adults do (or don't do) may provide a few clues.

List of notable enough things (for me) that aren't canon:

Asuka and Shinji do cross-sync tests with each other's Evas. It goes well.

Asuka is absorbed by Leliel instead of Shinji.

Rei forms a plan with Shinji to free Asuka.

Train Car Rei visits Asuka while inside the Angel.

Rei refers to her fellow pilots by their first names (finally).

Oh, I freely admit I'm not good at story descriptions at all. If anybody has any suggestions to make for improving my mediocre fanfic description, I'm all ears for a PM. Thanks!


	18. Fourth Child

Chapter 17

 _Stupid dossiers. Do they think this info means anything? Sheesh. Old farts care only about the boring crap. Asuka Langley Sohryu… all they gave is the birth date, hair color, rank and status, and picture. The fricken' pic shows the hair color and rank. Shinji has just as much. They didn't even bother including Rei's birthday. Assholes._

 _Still, I wonder what's going to happen. It's going to be surreal to meet all three of them. Gotta be prepared for that. Introductions are important, especially this one._

 _When will these dudes stop congratulating me anyway? I synced. Big whoop. Everyone knew I would. I'm just glad to get outa this desert. How does that song go? Oh yeah, "I'm leaving on a jet plane! Don't know when I'll be back again." Hopefully never. Then again, I never had a chance to see the cool shit here. Maybe I'll return to this country for that._

* * *

"Rei, are things satisfactory?"

"Yes."

She and Commander Ikari travel down the halls of NERV. He faces away from her, his hands behind his back.

"The pilot of Unit 04 arrives tonight. We need to have our own pilot ready."  
"I will give you my recommendation tonight."  
"Good. How is school?"  
"Adequate. None of the students formed any new suspicions."  
"And what about this Sakura Suzuhara? I've heard you spent time with her."  
Rei blinks. "I have."  
"Why?"  
"You know why."  
His shoulders slouch. "Yes, I suppose I do."

* * *

"Stand! Bow! Sit down!"

The class does exactly what Hikari tells them to. It never ceases to amaze Shinji how she gets more respect than their teacher. Speaking about the walking fossil, he looks at the seating chart. After the months they've been in his class, he has yet to remember their names well. Toji and Kensuke once switched chairs as a little test. The entire day, he called Toji _Aida_ and Kensuke _Suzuhara_. _Hmm, that must be why Hikari has more respect. She actually knows our names… and our best subjects, our worst subjects, our networks of friends… just about everything about everyone._

"Well," he mumbles. "Ayanami is absent as usual and so is Aida." _Huh, where did he run off to?_

Shinji turns around and whispers to Toji, "Hey, where's Kensuke?"  
He leans back in his chair, feet on the desk. "He's in New Yokosuka chasin' after some battleship. Myoko maybe?"  
"Suzuhara!" says their teacher. Toji stands up in the blink of an eye. "Will you deliver this printout to Ayanami after school?"  
"Yes, sir!"

 _Where is Rei anyway? She skips school at random and never tells me what she did._

* * *

This's the most amazing battleship ever! Not only is it one of only three battleships in the world that was made after Second Impact, but it also is docked right here in New Yokosuka! Oh, he'd do anything to become the captain of this hot mama.

Kensuke runs up and down the dock and records every possible angle of the battleship. By the time next week finishes, he'll have a perfect match made as a model… well, as perfect as a fourteen year old could manage.

He almost runs into an old lady, but he navigates around her. All of his wilderness survival training pays off all the time! It has nothing to do with luck, right? Yeah, it's his training.

"Aida."

Kensuke stops dead in his tracks. He knows that voice. He looks around for her. Oh, there she is.

"Hey, Rei! Have you come to see this hunk of awesome too?" He takes a few steps towards her. She stands at the edge of the pier. She faces the battleship and leans against the wood railings.  
"Would you mind turning off the camera for a moment?"  
"Why?" He already knows why. His heart pounds in anticipation.  
"NERV business."

He turns off the camera and shoves it into his bag.

"Please tell me that Shinji talked Misato into making me an Eva pilot!"  
"The selection process does not work in that manner… Why do you want to pilot so much?"  
He leans against the railing as well and grins. "Who wouldn't want to pilot a massive robot, kill monsters, and get to serve your country at the same time? It'd be so cool. Plus, I know for a fact that there's more Eva units available, two in the United States."  
"Does the number eighty hold any meaning to you?"  
"No."

Rei clenches her fist. Waves lap against the battleship. He can smell the salt in the air.

"Eighty people have been killed by Evas directly. I have memorized all of their names. Sakura Suzuhara was nearly on that list."  
"But, if no one piloted the Evas, then everyone would be dead, right?" He motions to the crowd.  
"Yes, but would you enjoy living with the knowledge that you and your incompetency killed a small child? Did you know Shinji avoids certain section of Tokyo-3? For example, he does not near the path of destruction he made while racing towards the Tenth Angel."  
"Rei, I've been in the cockpit once with Shinji. I saw how much pain he gets. I… I just think I might be one of the few kids on the planet who might actually like piloting the Eva. Be honest here, do any of you three like doing it?"

A seagull squawks overhead.

"Shinji does it to protect me, Asuka, and Captain Katsuragi. I pilot becau-"  
"Asuka?" He looks at Rei confused.  
"Yes, their bond of friendship is-"  
"No. You used her first name. I've only heard you do that for Shinji."  
"I do so with Asuka now."  
"That's good. You've gotten a lot better at, um…"  
"Living."  
He nods. "Yeah, living. You could still wear something other than your school uniform at all times."  
Rei tilts her head. "But I do not. When I swim, I wear a bathing suit. When I shower and occasionally at my residence, I wear nothing."

Kensuke's face reddens. "Um… Rei, you know you shouldn't say those types of things, right?"  
"Why? Should I tell you that I wear my school uniform while swimming as well?"  
"No just… ask a… a girl about it. Oh, and don't tell Shinji about this conversation, ever. My life depends on it. Oh, your father too."  
"But, he will know. The Section Two guards should be within earshot of this conversation. He will have access to what we have spoken."  
"Shit."  
"Are you alright, Aida?"  
"Yeah, um… I'll just film more of this battleship now."  
"I will see you tomorrow."

She walks away. Kensuke stares at the blue waters. _What the hell just happened?_

* * *

"Stand! Bow!" The class takes out their lunches. Due to an impending test after their meal, almost everyone stays in the classroom. Asuka doesn't really care. It's math. Math is easy. At least it uses the same numbers as normal people, not that stupid Kanji; however, she has more pressing matters on her hand. She's hungry.

"Hey, Shinji!" she calls out. "Where's my lunch?"  
He looks at her in utter fear in his eyes. "I, uh, um, it's, er, left behind in the fridge."  
"What!" She slams her hands on his desk. "You forgot our lunches!"  
"I… I'm so sorry! I di-"  
"Stop fucking apologizing! I'll starve to death because of you, but don't you dare even think about saying you're sorry!"

"Uh oh," says Pinky. "It looks like the newlyweds are fighting."

The entire class, except Hikari, burst into laughter. They're laughing at them! She and Shinji's faces light up in a pink blush. They quickly look away from each other, desperate not to make eye contact.

"Shut up!" they say in unison. This only adds fuel to the fire. Asuka feels utter fury. Those kids laughing at her is pretty bad, but Shinji… He has a hard enough time accepting public praise. Now, he's getting public mockery? This needs to change, right now. _I don't care what it is, but I must get attention away from us._ She glances at Pinky. He smirks at their predicament. _Oh, I know EXACTLY what to say._

"You must be jealous, Pinky," she says with a smile. The laughter dies down, interested in where she'll take the conversation.  
"Jealous of you? Hah, I'd rather kiss a cactus."  
"No." She shakes her head theatrically. "You're jealous because Shinji gets the attention of a beautiful girl. You can't even get your crush to stop ordering you around like a neutered mutt." _Sorry, Hikari._  
"What do you mean?" He acts calm, but his eyes dart to Hikari and back to her.  
"Oh come on! You know exactly what I'm saying. You got a crush on Hikari, Dummkopf."

Hikari drops her lunch on the ground. It's the loudest sound Asuka ever heard. Everyone stares at the jock and the class rep, waiting for a reaction. _Again, I'm sorry, Hikari._

Toji sits in his chair with a dumbfounded stare. Hikari breaks the silence "That's enough out of you two! Everyone, get back to lunch. I don't want anyone to test on an empty stomach. In fact, I don't want anyone talking until class is over. Not a word! Understand?"  
No one says anything. The blush on Hikari's face speaks for itself though.  
"Good. Now eat."

Shinji and Asuka don't eat. There's no food. Instead, she and her friend sit at their desks. Her stomach growls. At least Pinky isn't eating either. He stares at his mountain of processed, packaged food.

She's for once happy that the teacher returns. They do their test, ramble through their daily routine, and thank God that class finally ends. Well, they thank the gods. Whatever works for them.

When the bell finishes ringing, she grabs Shinji by the wrist and all but pulls him out of the class and, in moments, the school.

"Where are we going?" he asks, panting.  
"Food."

* * *

Her heart flutters. Asuka thinks Toji likes her? Is that even possible? She takes a breath. _I'm the Class Rep. Duty first._

She walks over to Toji, by this point the only other student in the class. He puts his books in his school bag with a small frown on his face.

She walks up to his desk. "Hey, uh," she says. "Don't forget you have bulletin duty this week."  
"I've got what?" he asks.  
She holds the papers in front of his face. She's blushing already yet again like a silly schoolgirl. _Well, I am a schoolgirl._ "This. The bulletin. You need to give it to Rei."  
"Can't you ask the other person to do it?" He hasn't looked her in the eyes once yet. _Thanks a lot, Asuka. Now, Toji's even more afraid of me._  
"Rei is the other person."  
"I guess I gotta then. Huh… But, um, I can't to go her place by myself. It's not proper."

Hikari suppresses a squeal. There's no one else around for him to take.

"I can go with you." _Please agree._  
"You okay with that?"  
"Yeah."  
He scratches the back of his head. "Even after what Asuka said today?"

The teenage girl aspect of Hikari's brain overtakes her Class Rep mindset.

She crosses her arms. "It depends. Was it true? If you lie, I will find out and never forgive you."  
"I, um."  
"And I know for a fact that Sakura probably knows the truth."  
"Well, I, um."  
"And you wouldn't lie to me after I forgave you of so many things and helped you in school for countless hours, right?"

He walks to the window. His shoulders slouch.

"Fine. I'm sorry, but you're a really nice girl. You're just about the only person in my life that'll kick me into the right direction. I guess somewhere along the line of us bein' friends… I don't know. I wouldn't mind bein' around you more."

Hikari takes his hand in her own, something she never did before. "Then let's go deliver those papers, together. Okay?" She smiles.  
"You aren't gonna blow your top?"  
"Of course not."

* * *

"I am very glad for your results in your math test," Rei says. She is unfamiliar with speaking over the phone unless it pertains to NERV. A… friendly conversation proves difficult. Still, this result was expected. Buying a cellular phone for Sakura would provide amble ability for the girl to call her. Nonetheless, this provides cheerfulness on a day where she has little.

"Yep, and my teacher thought I wasn't gonna do so good."  
"Was my help beneficial?"  
"Yeah! It helped a lot. You must be the best student in your class."  
"I average at third to fifth depending on the subject."  
"Why?"  
"I do not participate in class discussions."

Rei takes the first step up the stairs. Her apartment lies at a higher floor.

"Why? You're a nice person, and I know everyone will like you."  
"They do not."  
"But do they know you? You can't dislike something you don't know. That's just… what would it be, Rei? Fear? Do they fear your pretty hair?"  
"Blue is not a natural hair color."  
"But it is on you, and they'll like it. You should have more friends. Then, you'll be happier."  
"I have Shinji, Asuka, and you. Class Representative Horaki, Aida, and your brother also qualify as mild friends."  
"Alright, but I still think you should talk more. You're a really nice person."  
"Thank you. So are you."  
"Well, my daddy's home now. He's getting home an hour early because he's about to start working a lot. They won't tell me what it is though. Bye!"

Rei clenches her fist as she reaches the front door.

"You're father will be working on Unit 03, a new one. The activation test will be this Saturday, so he will be gone all day. Goodbye."

She hangs up the phone and opens her door. Two pairs of shoes, on male and one female, are arranged tidily on the floor. She tilts her head. The Section Two agents would have stopped almost anyone from entering, so the presences must be friendly.

She enters her main room. Student Suzuhara and Class Representative Horaki stand inside.

"Rei!" Horaki bows. "We arrived to deliver you your school bulletins. Since you had too much mail in your mailbox… Um, Toji thought we better put them inside. Forgive us for intruding." The papers lie on her bed.  
"What for? You did not."  
"Hey." Suzuhara stands closer than normal to Horaki. Their eyes glance to the other classmate with consistency. Perhaps they continued the logical progression of their relationship in which case Sakura will be pleased. "Why are you living in this dump?"  
"Toji!" gasps Horaki. "Don't criticize a girl's place like that."

He blushes. _My theory has been confirmed. My decision has received yet another added layer of complexity._

"His statement does not contain false claims. This apartment satisfies my needs. I require no more."  
"Um…" He scratches his head. "If I was you, I'd get something better. I guess we should get outa your hair now. Sorry to for breakin' into your house."  
"Goodbye, Suzuhara. Horaki, may you stay?"  
She furrows her eyebrows. "Sure?"

Suzuhara waives goodbye. His eyes linger on Horaki for a long duration, but he leaves with a smile.

"Take a seat." Rei motions to her bed and her chair. Either option is acceptable.  
"Thanks? Um, what is it?" Horaki takes the chair.

Rei takes a deep breath. _Why did Commander Ikari assign me this position?_ The unceasing clang of construction machinery acts as a rhythm in the background, a heartbeat of the city. Rei's heartbeat pounds at a faster speed.

"You were the only student to deduce that Shinji is a pilot. I have gathered you know the same with me by this point."  
She nods. "Yeah. I don't think the others have a clue. The rumor's that they're some hotshot fighter pilots right now."  
"Did you deduce anything else?"  
She blushes and shifts in her chair. "With who?"  
 _So you do suspect more._ "Any of us pilots."  
"Shinji and Asuka sorta have a thing going. Pretty cute if you ask me."  
Rei raises her eyebrow. "Anything else?"  
"Um, you're pretty close to Shinji from what I've seen. You were so fast to open up with him. You two knew each other for a while, didn't you?"

Rei sits on the bed. If she makes Horaki vulnerable by telling these things, perhaps she will respond better during the second part of the conversation.

"He is my brother."  
"Oh…" She blinks. "Why the ruse?"  
"Classified. Do not worry. This room contains no listening or recording apparatuses, one of the few in Tokyo-3."  
"Even my bedroom?"  
"I never checked."

She covers her chest and glances around Rei's room, clearly uneasy.

"Is that what you wanted to tell me?"  
"No. Did you know Units 03 and 04 will arrive shortly?"  
"More students?" Her eyes light up. Asuka was the most recent transfer to their school. Otherwise, students only leave.  
"One. Unit 03 has no pilot."  
"Why are you telling me this?" She gulps. Her left foot shakes up and down.  
"Class 2-A houses all potential Eva pilots in Japan."

She waits for Horaki to process that information. The girl does not move. The only sign of life from her is a tear that trickles down her cheek.

"You wouldn't tell me this unless I've been chosen." Her voice sounds flat, no emotion. The Class Representative stated a fact.  
"You have a choice. No one else will know."  
"But NERV will. I will. You will."  
"Only you and I. The task of choosing the other pilot was given to me." She looks down. "I do not enjoy this mission."

Horaki looks at Rei's flower, the only vibrant form of life in the room at the moment.

"No, I'm just a girl. I get good grades. I keep a class in line. I worry about how one girl feels bad because her boyfriend dumped her or how some guy got another low test score. I never once fought a battle in my life. I never punched anyone before. I never even saw a gun in real life. I'd just be dead weight out there. Probably get one of you killed in the process."  
"I accept your decision. I shall inform my second choice."  
Pain washes over her face. "Who is it? I know I'd know the kid."  
"Aida."  
"No…" She grips both sides of the chair with her hands. "What's the chance of getting injured?"  
"Almost guaranteed."  
"Of killing someone somehow?"  
"Almost guaranteed."  
"Of dying?"  
"For you, very high."

She clenches her eyes shut, as if it will hide reality from her. That does not stop the sniffs or the stream of tears.

"I'll do it. Just tell me, why me?"  
"Because you understand that the world's life will be place in your hands every time you pilot."

Rei stands and rests her left hand on the Fourth Child's shoulder. "I am sorry for what I did to you and all the horrors you will endure."

* * *

"Misato?" Shinji asks. He's pretty sure that was her voice coming from that lounge area. He rounds the corner.

"Yeah, what is it?"

She's just… standing with her back to a vending machine. Mr. Kaji stands a couple meters to her right sipping a can of something. He leans against another vending machine. Shinji suppresses a chuckle. _Yeah, they definitely just happen to be standing here. I hope they don't mind I interrupted whatever they were doing._

"Doctor Akagi wants to see you about some business trip you're going on tomorrow. This… this isn't anything like the other one you went on, right?"  
"Which one?"  
"That Jet Alone malfunction thing."  
She chuckles. "No, I'm certain nothing's gonna be dangerous for this one. Well, I better get going." As she walks away, she turns her head to Mr. Kaji, "I'll catch you later. Thanks."  
The man mumbles some sort of reply while gulping the rest of his coffee. Yeah, it's a coffee.

"How about it?" He leans down as he talks to Shinji. _I hate being short._ "Wanna go out for tea?"  
He tilts his head. "Isn't that something you do for dates?"  
He flashes that well-oiled smile. "Nah, we're going somewhere. Thought you'd want a drink. I heard coffee and soda don't mix well with LCL, and you're doing a sync test in an hour or two."  
"Really? I didn't know that. Where you hear that from?"  
"Oh." He looks at the ceiling. "A little red bird several months ago."  
Shinji smiles. "Anything else interesting you heard… from a little red bird?"  
"Only if you have some on a certain wild, purple one. Also, we best do this conversation outside. I learned a long time ago that these are best done where none can hear you, especially if those birds would peck out your eyes."

Shinji nods, since he likes being able to see. Of course, Asuka would never hurt him like that. _No, that'd be too nice for her._ He laughs at his thought.

It took him ten minutes less than what he expected to leave the building and walk among the underground grass. Apparently, this Mr. Kaji guy really knows his way around the GeoFront.

"So, what are you taking me to see, and aren't we far enough away from them?"  
"A surprise and almost, to answer your questions."

They round a corner. Shinji sees a large garden all containing the same plant. He doesn't see them much at all, but he's pretty sure he knows what these are. He knees down and touches one.

"Are these watermelons?"  
"Yeah, aren't they cute? This's my hobby." He waters the melons with a watering can. If he was wearing overalls instead of a NERV uniform, then the man could pass as a farmer. "It's a secret from everyone else though. Making something… Nurturing something's really nice. You can see and learn so many things from the process… It's how I got Asuka to like me."  
Shinji moves his gaze from the fruit to the man. "How?"

Mr. Kaji inhales the air, a mixture between the faint trace of melons and dirt. "We started out as a seed, nothing at all between us. I was just the next person in a long line of her guardians."  
"After her mother killed herself?"  
He opens his eyes wide. "I'm surprised you know that. She tell you?"  
"Yeah, sorry."  
"Don't. It takes a lot to surprise a man in my line of work." He laughs as if he made some kind of in-joke. "Well, I watered her. Made sure she had enough soil. Occasionally checked the sunlight. I wanted to see her grow. I put in a lot for her. She eventually responded, a bit too much for my liking to be honest, but it was better than her liking not one human on the planet. You fixed that though. A sincere thanks is for that. Plus, it's convenient for you two. You already share the same bedroom."

Shinji blushes. He picks up some dirt in his hand a squishes the soft, cold earth between his fingers. "We're not like that, Mr. Kaji."  
"Just Kaji is fine."  
"Well, Kaji, we… we decided to stay best friends until the war's over."  
"Interesting choice. She's an amazing girl, but you already know that. She suffered a lot. Keeps on pulling herself through it though. One day, that pain will be too great, and she'll fall." His voice changes. It becomes deathly serious. "Promise me something, will you?"  
"Sure."  
"When she falls, be there to pick her up. Then, pick her up. I know she'll do the same for you."  
"I promise."

He stops watering the melons. Cicadas and crickets chirp as the day turns to night. Shinji likes this moment, even though it's a serious one. It seems… real.

"Do you hate suffering, Shinji?"  
"I don't like it." He has suffered before, many times. He suffered pain from being abandoned, fighting in the Eva, and seeing those he cares for get hurt. The boy fights back his tears.  
"Have you found anything that you enjoy?"

 _What do I enjoy? What is enjoyment? I guess it's… it's something I wake up every morning and want to do. I don't enjoy school or the Evas. I like being with Rei, helping her grow. I like being with Asuka. I… I like sleeping in the same bed. Is it the contact? Yes, that's it, but it's not the physical kind._

"Yes. I enjoy helping Rei learn to live better. I enjoy talking with Asuka at night. She's more open then. So am I. We just… talk. Sometimes we talk for hours about silly stuff like Misato's beer every morning or a stupid thing some kid did at school. Other times, we cry together. I enjoyed crying with her."  
"Suffering isn't being weak. It takes a strong man to cry, Shinji, especially around others. It's showing your true feelings."  
"Thank you."  
"No, thank you… Asuka's like a daughter to me in many ways." He smirks. "Don't tell her I said that though."  
"Okay."

His phone rings. After looking to see who's calling, he answers the phone. "Is it time?" he asks. After a moment, he turns off the phone. "It's Katsuragi. It's time to start the sync test. Also, does she still sit cross-legged at breakfast?"  
"Yeah."

* * *

Her plane lands. It's too bad it isn't Tokyo-3. That place looks rad from the photos, but this city will do. She never bothered to learn the name of it. It's just some big city that used to be a small town before the Second Impact. On the bright side, this place rather quickly got beachfront property.

She steps off the plane and regrets that decision. It's a few minutes past ten o'clock on this island, but it must be over thirty degrees here. Plus, the humidity fogged up her glasses immediately. She wiped off the condensation as she walks down the gangplank and away from that wonderful invention called air conditioning.

She's also as good as blind without her glasses, so she doesn't see the person standing at the bottom of the gangplank. She steadies herself before she tumbles over. The other person doesn't make a sound.

"Balls! Sorry. Can't see shit without these." As she puts on her glasses, she asks, "Oh, you with NERV or som-" The moment her eyes see properly again, she sees blue. Blue hair to be precise. She holds back surprise. Of course, she's used to Rei's features, but this's the first time she physically sees the girl.  
"Oh, the First Child. Nice to knock into you, Blue, right? Here to greet me? Too bad there isn't a marching band."  
"Greetings." She bows. "Since you already know my designation, I am Lieutenant Rei Ayanami. I have been tasked to greet you, so I have." _Sheesh, I didn't think she'd be this quirky. Oh well._

She does an exaggerated bow. "Well, I'm me." She sniffs the air. "You smell nice. LCL's such a nice smell, am I right?"  
"NERV has elected to keep you in this city until your sync test."  
She smirks. "Don't trust the random Brit who shows up outa nowhere? How long until NERV snoops into my past enough to let me into Tokyo-3?"  
"Until your sync test. That should provide ample time."  
"Hey, you single? What about the other pilots?"  
"They are all single entities."  
"Are they dating anyone?"  
Rei tilts her head. "Among the highest priority questions you have is the relationship status among the pilots?"

She shrugs. "Yeah?"  
"I suggest you allow pilots Asuka and Shinji to grow their relationship without interference." _First name basis. Interesting._ "The new pilot Horaki has a relationship with a classmate."  
"What about you, Blue? Got an eye on anyone cute?"  
"Cute? Yes, but I do not believe I am answering that question in the proper context. Sakura is, by definition, cute; however, it does not apply to the manner in which you used it."  
"Cool beans! Hey, you gotta phone number? We can be phone buddies."  
"Yes."  
"Great! Oh, be sure to spell my name with an _i_ instead of a _y_." She puffs out her chest. "Mari Illustrious Makinami, charmed, huh?"

* * *

The teacher enters the classroom, but Hikari doesn't say anything. She does what she's been doing all morning, staring at her desk like a pouty Shinji. The sad thing is that the old bastard doesn't even notice.

 _I'll have to talk to her about it._

Asuka sends a message to her over their computers. "You okay?" She doesn't respond. _Of course she isn't responding. Her damn laptop's still closed._

She receives a message from none other than Pinky himself. Asuka doesn't know what to be more surprised about, whether he sent her a message or that he knows how to type. "You know what's up with Hikari? She was happy last afternoon."  
 _Concern from that stooge? Fine. I'll reply._ "No, I want to know too."  
"You don't think I made her this way, do ya?"

She glances back at the jock. He looks sincere. "What do you mean?" she types.  
"You don't know? Shit. I thought girls talk about these things immediately."  
"If you touched her inappropriately, I'll kill you by shoving your dick down your throat."  
"NO!"

She waits a moment for him to type a longer response.

"We sorta became a couple last night and she was really happy. I still am. I thought maybe she's not liking her decision no more."  
"Took you long enough. :)"  
"You made fun of me!"  
"And look what it did. I'm a genius."  
"You threatened to cut off my manhood."  
"First, you actually know that word? Surprised. Second, that threat still stands. Third, maybe her dad yelled at her for dating someone with an IQ of negative two."  
"I don't know if he knows. We went to Rei's apartment to drop off school stuff, but she stayed behind to talk to Rei."  
"Rei?"  
"Oh. Could you ask her for me?"  
"For you? No. For Hikari? Hell yes."

She shakes her head, amazed that she held a conversation with the dimwit for longer than a few seconds. Asuka doesn't know what her pigtailed friend sees in him, but at least her eyes are on Shinji's friend instead of Shinji. _And I'm jealous about him now. Great. Then again, he needs to stay single for the sake of humanity… and me. Focus, Asuka!_

She types another message, this one addressed to Rei. If Hikari was feeling normal, then she'd have stopped the nearly nonstop tapping of buttons that the redhead has been making.

"Wondergirl, did you do anything to Hikari or know anything about that?"  
She receives a response within two seconds. _She knew I'd ask this._ "Classified." _So, that's a yes._  
"As your ranking Lieutenant, I demand you tell me."  
"Standing orders from higher ranks dictate I do not yet. Also, you are a Captain now as of this morning. You will receive your rank this evening."  
"What!"  
"Two new Evangelions arrive this Friday. They increased your rank due to the influx of pilots and your performance during battle."  
"Who's the pilots?"  
"Classified."  
"You an asshole sometimes, Rei. I hope you know that."  
"I do."

Asuka grumbles under her breath. She looks back at Pinky and shakes her head. He nods. After copying and pasting her string with Rei over to Shinji, she closes her eyes. If Hikari's not going to stop her, then she might as well get some sleep before lunch. That old fart won't notice if the entire class is metaphorically asleep anyway.

Her eyes open. The lunch bell rings. Hikari's nowhere to be found. Shinji taps her shoulder.

"She left an hour ago." He looks concerned. "Claimed she's coming down with a stomach bug."  
"You grill Toji; I'll grill Rei."  
"Shouldn't I ask Rei?"  
"And leave me to Toji?" She cracks her knuckles.  
"Oh yeah…" He nods. "Kensuke, Toji, you wanna eat on the roof today?"  
"Sure," they say together.

Asuka walks to Rei. The blue haired girl opens a lunch, one that Shinji made. She grabs Rei by the wrist. "We're going to the bathroom. We aren't leaving until I have my information."

Neither says anything on their march to the interrogation room. She takes Rei to one on the upper floor. No one ever goes there except for these very types of situations.

"What did you do to Hikari?"  
"Classified."  
"Did you hurt her?"  
"No." _She paused before replying. Damn your poker face, Rei._  
"Stop playing games with me." She crosses her arms. .

Rei takes a step towards Asuka, almost knocking into her. She reflexively takes a step back. _Did Rei just intimidate me?_ "Asuka, I am not playing games. This situation has brought nothing but pain for me, and it will bring more pain to others. Your responsibility is to the world, to Shinji, and to all of your pilots. I have many responsibilities. I do not skip school for leisure."  
She blinks. "Are you okay, Rei?"  
"No."  
"What can I do to help?"  
"Let this matter drop until it comes to your attention naturally and… forgive me when you understand my situation."  
"I will."

Asuka turns over in bed. That conversation with Rei still rings in her head even after a few hours. What the Hell does Commander Asshole have her do? If it brings Rei, the least emotionally expressive girl she ever knew, to being so… not Rei-like, then it has to be bad.

"Shinji," she whispers. He's awake. She knows that. He's been staring at the roof all night long. Though, she can't complain. Both of them have been nearly silent after they went to do their investigations. "You better talk to Rei. I think she's sorta strung out."  
Without moving, he says, "I know why."  
Asuka props herself up with her elbow. Her head leans over Shinji's. "Tell me."  
"Yesterday, Rei went out to Kensuke just to talk to him about the horrors and responsibility of piloting Eva. Two units are being shipped from the United States. Ken only knows about one pilot."  
Asuka's eyes open wide. "And then Rei talked with Hikari." Asuka lays her head back on his pillow. "Why her?"  
"I've been thinking the same thing. Name the one person who gets along with all three of us pilots."

She cringes. "Hikari." _Is that why she'll be sent into out Hell? It's because she's the only kid I ever became friends with? If I was a bitch to her too, would she be safe? Damn it! Why was Rei involved with this?_ "We'll have to keep her safe."

* * *

On the other side of Tokyo-3, a girl cries in bed. On her desk, there's school work and few dolls. Her walls are pink. Her pajamas are pink. She has a TV to play to occasional video game or to watch a movie. She prefers doing both with her friends or her sisters. She has a small couch where she had the most wonderful girl talk and giggly confessions take place. Cooking magazines and one for fashion sit on the floor. She knocked them onto the ground but never bothered to pick them up today.

Her mind normally has simple, innocent thoughts. She thought of ways to help her classmates. She pondered about boys. She dreamed about getting married to Toji, having three children, and being the best wife and mother she could be. Tonight, her thoughts are in a different place, the same place they were last night. She shared it with no one. Not her beloved father, not her wiser and older sister, not her perceptive little sister, not her new boyfriend, and not her best friend… now her fellow Eva pilot.

Her tears cause wet patches in her pillow. "I don't want to die."

* * *

Misato's voice: "No jokes. No fan service. Shit gets real. People will die. Even more will suffer."

* * *

Author's notes: This is an entire chapter almost entirely based off of character interaction, not a hint of action really. Oh, and the entire chapter had an aurora of foreboding too. I hoped you liked it.

I don't have many things to say about this chapter. I think the reasons for Rei choosing Hikari were shown pretty well. Also, Shinji and Asuka being in the same bed are them sleeping together but not _sleeping together_. I wouldn't want you to read THAT much in between the lines.

Oh, do you perhaps remember a certain line I wrote during the chapter just before Asuka arrived? If not, Hikari yelled at Kensuke (after learning about his and Toji's photo "business"), "I will personally see to it that you will never become an Eva pilot!" I already knew she (and Mari) would become pilots at that point.

Mari… Why did I include her? (Btw, her lack of a Child status is due to her being chosen by the USA instead of NERV.) First, it's because I dislike how she's used in most fanfics and the movies for that matter. No character development. No explanation on her origins. Nothin'. Therefore, I want to challenge myself to write a Mari who's a well-written character and actually affects the plot. There's so many fanfics where the plot wouldn't be changed much at all regardless of Mari being in there or not. (One major exception is _Unravel_ by Homer's Disciple. Great fanfic.)

Why did I include her so late in the fanfic? Well, this is the first point in the story where it made sense to me to include her. I have referenced her existence a few times before this chapter in the story anyway. I wonder if any of you caught those.

If you are unhappy for me for including Mari at all in this fanfic (I honestly would be unhappy if I was a reader, lol), all I ask is that you give me a chance. If you're a fan of what I've done with Rei, Asuka and Shinji so far, then I think you will be with Mari.

So… does this mean I won't kill her during the Bardiel attack next chapter? Well… I actually have two entirely fleshed out plots, one where she survives the battle and one where she dies. It took me over seventy days to choose which one to use. I'm not kidding.

Replies to comments… also, I had a total of 8 comments this week, 7 for the previous chapter and another for the one two chapter ago. Thank you so much for those comments. They mean a lot to me.

PrometheusDark, I really love foreshadowing. It's like having a beautiful painting but only showing a sliver of it to my audience. Also, having an underlying mystery was part of my plan from day one. Even though I had (and still do) want to delve into Rei's past with gusto, I'm instead hinting at it (sometimes in ways that I think nobody noticed). My only worry is that what happened would be a letdown, but after all this time I believe it'll be great. It's a good mesh between what makes Evangelion so outstanding and the themes I've also put into this story.

As for Asuka, I've tried very hard to make her canon Asuka put into a different situation. It means writing her is a wonderful challenge, but it pays off. It's good to see Liliel was able to show a bit of what's hiding under her fiery surface.

Traitor of All Traitors, ah, you mentioned dummy plugs. Those were a heart wrenching moment in the anime, seeing Shinji helpless as his Eva rips apart Toji's possessed unit. Will they be used? Well… I don't give spoilers. I can say that they've been completed already. I sorta off-handedly inferred that in the dialogue.

Poshboy, wow, you were a lot of different guests. It's great to see you have an account up and running again, especially since it was to post on my fanfic (and favorite and follow it). Thank you!

I've had the magma idea for a while, but I never had a good opportunity to seamlessly include it in the story. I always figured that putting young teens in the seat of giant war machines to fight against almost Lovecraft-like enemies would cause some PTSD.

From Misato's perspective, things just got crazy. Rei revealed highly classified info to her. While poor Misato still doesn't know Rei and Shinji are twins, she does know they're close. I knew the major would find some "careless" (though actually calculated) way to ask Shinji if Rei told him things as well.

I'm pleasantly surprised how empathetic my characters are to y'all readers. I do appreciate it when you say that.

ADeadDieHard, first, thanks for answering my question on the pilots' identities!

There's a lot I'd like to say about Yui, but I can't due to spoilers. What I will say is that I don't intend to write her character in the "standard Yui for fanfictions" form while still being very true to her character from the anime. You may get some questions answered after a fight with a certain mighty Angel though…

You're right about Mari. Could you clarify what fan theory you were talking about? There's about a dozen I'm fairly familiar with. Perhaps you were referring to the one that the pilot of Unit 04 in the anime was Mari?

You were close for the second. Kensuke and Hikari have always been the two I've been deciding on for piloting Unit 03. Along with (many) reasons to do with the plot and narrative themes and ideas of my story, I also choose Hikari over Kensuke for some meta reasons. First, Kensuke really wanted to be a pilot. Evangelion is never about getting exactly what you want. One of its major themes is learning to live with (and be happy in) the situations you don't want to be in and are forced to anyway. Hikari definitely doesn't want to be a pilot. I've always viewed her as the normal girl of the anime, so putting "the girl next door" in an Eva was an opportunity I didn't want to pass. Plus, now Shinji's the only male pilot out of five. How can't that be just a little funny?

Lautaro94, I'm glad you liked the twist with Asuka being taken by Liliel instead of Shinji. To clarify my comment that got you worried, I was more just expressing my desire to write that type of scene at this very minute. (But you should still be worried. If my readers honestly don't know if my ending will be happy, sad, bittersweet or something altogether different, then I'm very happy.)

Delta4phoenix, yeah… my last chapter might've been the darkest one I wrote (yet). Despair is definitely a good way to describe Evangelion. Also, will Yui's seemingly in some way negative disposition to Asuka change? Maybe. :)

Guest (for chapter 16, the chapter before the chapter everyone's commenting on), I agree. It does seem more mature for Shinji and Asuka to not become romantically involved. Even them sharing the same bed since their kiss is much more "two scarred kids huddle together for comfort" than "romantic cuddling".

You also like Rei's elevator scene with Shinji and the graveyard scene? Hurray! It's great to see that both turned out so well. You are also correct, Gendo places all his trust in Rei. She's one of the three people in his "inner circle" (along with Ritsuko and Kozo).

Guest (for chapter 17), it's so great to not be typing _Lieutenant Sohryu_ all the time anymore. You too wonder what's up with Yui. Well, I know I'll have a bunch of interest with her when she comes more into the spotlight. I too thought the end scene of the last chapter was quite nice. After the utter horror of what Asuka went through, she just wanted Shinji's assurance. It's rather sweet, isn't it?

List of notable enough things (for me) that aren't canon:

Mari and Hikari are the pilots of Unit 04 and 03 respectively.

Unit 04's intitial sync test is successful. (Since Shinji destroyed Shamshel's core, there was no S2 core test.)

Kaji and Shinji have a conversation about a certain redhead.

Oh, I might not post the next chapter next Tuesday. Life is crazy. I'm a full time student who's working two jobs, both are physical labor types (that are sorta dangerous too). Hell, I worked 12 hours today. Thus, if I miss my date by a bit, it'll be up either the following Tuesday or sometime in between. Just thought I should mention that. :)

Also, I passed 100k words. Hell yeah!


	19. A Life Choice

Chapter 18

 _Asuka and I talked about it last night. Hikari needs support from a fellow pilot, from a friend, from a girl. I'll try to help, but this's her thing. She's our lead pilot anyway and… I think Rei might need me too. Oh, so much is happening around me! At least we're almost doubling our Evas. Hopefully that new pilot is good. I know Hikari won't be._

* * *

"I'm ready." Shinji takes another glance at Misato, fully awake and wearing her… um, it's that red NERV uniform she wears to important stuff.

"Where's Asuka?" she asks. The normal cheer of her voice doesn't exist. She sounds subdued, sorta worried. "You two always walk to school together."  
"She woke up early to meet with Hikari."

With the mention of the pigtailed girl, Misato cringes for just a moment. _She knows too._

He sighs. "We all know about her, but she doesn't know about us knowing."  
"What are you talking about?" Her shoulders slouch. She already knows the answer to her question.  
"Hikari's the Fourth Child."  
"Yes." She looks away. "I'll be supervising the activation test with Ritsuko at Matsushiro. I'll be gone for four days, but Kaji will be taking care of you."

Pen Pen waddles away, bored of their demoralized conversation.

"Will she be deployed as a frontline pilot?" His heartbeat races.  
"No, just a backup really. I… I don't… She should have more training first."

The doorbell rings. Since he already stands by the door, Shinji opens it. Rei stands there. It's a sight he hasn't seen for some time.

"Rei?" he asks. Her red eyes peer into his.

"Shinji." She looks at Misato. "Major Katsuragi."  
"Misato, please."  
"Major Misato, you are leaving for Matsushiro?"  
"Yes."  
"Shinji, may we walk to school together?"  
"Sure?"  
"Have a good day, Major."

She walks down the hallway. He waives goodbye to his guardian and rushes after Rei.

"Hey, everything alright?"  
"No."  
"No?"  
"Yes, I said no."

The elevator door closes on the pair. Her face has no emotion. It's not like before when she was more closed off. Then, it was as if she didn't have those innate feelings. Now… it's different, like she's burying them.

"You were the one who told Hikari, and now you feel guilt over it, right?"  
She doesn't look surprised. She keeps a blank stare. "Yes, and I was the one who convinced her to accept."

The elevator dings. The doors open, and Rei steps out.

He takes a few quick steps to catch up. "You convinced her?"  
"If she decided to refuse the position, the alternative pilot would have been… not as…" She stops walking and looks at the sidewalk. "I do not know what was right. Either I sacrifice an innocent and good person or I increase the chance of Eva Units' destruction of civilian casualties. Human sacrifice is abominable, but I sacrificed Horaki."  
He stands next to her. "What did you do to convince Hikari?"  
"I told her the truth." She clenches her eyes shut. "The callous truth."

People walk around the unimposing boy and petite girl. They do not notice the pain in their eyes, nor can they empathize with the pair. To others, they're simply walking by two random kids on the street, yet this is the pair that first defended and saved the world. This is the duo that holds secrets and pushes away praise from the world. Shinji and Rei are unquestionably and utterly alone in the middle of a bustling street.

He keeps his voice soft. "Hikari made her decision, and you made yours."  
"But the blame will be mine when she becomes injured."  
"I feel the same way about you and Asuka. If anything happens to you, I feel like it's my fault. It's… human nature I guess." He shrugs. "I keep on going because I have to. I want all of this to be over, so much. I'd give anything for it to stop, but the only things that'll make this war stop is to continue it."  
She tilts her head. "You confuse me."

He holds her hand. She feels cold. "I want to protect you. It was a… thing I'd say when I was first piloting. 'I must protect Rei.' Shinji Ikari can't, not really. I'm just a kid. The Third Child… he can. No matter how much it hurts, I pilot. I don't have a choice because I don't give myself one. To protect, I pilot. Why do you pilot, Rei?"  
"I pilot to become one."  
"Did you stay true to that goal with Hikari?"  
"I do not know."  
"Was it the right thing to do?"  
"No, selecting any pilot is wrong."  
He smiles. "Then you are not at fault. Since every decision was wrong, why act as if you could've done better? You had no choice but wrong ones… I'm sorry if this isn't helping. I, uh, haven't done this type of thing before."

Rei looks up. He follows her gaze to the moon, nearly full, obscured by the sun's rays, and setting in the far distance.

"You have helped, brother."

She squeezes his hand. Her fingers aren't as cold anymore.

* * *

Pilot Horaki stares at the chalkboard. The other students have left the classroom for lunch. Suzuhara, Aida, pilot Sohryu, and pilot Ikari tried to stay; however, the Class Representative told them to leave. They respected her wishes. Though, Rei was not present during that interaction. She left, anticipating such a conversation. After confirming her suspicions with the Third Child, she left to speak with the Fourth Child. At the moment, Rei stands in the doorway unbeknownst to the girl.

Rei blinks. _I am slipping back into… impersonal mannerisms._ She shakes her head as if the action could toss out her previous thought patterns. _I will speak to pil-_ She clenches her fists. _I will speak to a young, scared girl. I will speak to…_

"Hikari."

The one she addressed turns around in the blink on an eye. She covers her mouth with her hands.

"R-Rei, you startled me."  
"I apologize. Was Asuka's conversation with you… helpful?" She walks into the class and takes a seat next to Hikari's.

"Um, a little."  
"May I offer advice?"  
"Sure?"  
"Do exactly what you are not doing. Pushing others away and closing yourself off hurts. It hurts not only yourself but others. I have learned that from-"  
"Shinji."  
"Yes. Talk to… Toji. Speak of deep and personal topics with your fellow female friends such as Asuka… if I am informed correctly. It is normal for teenage girls to converse as such, correct?"

Hikari smiles, the first smile Rei observed her wearing since she became the Fourth Child.

"Yes, Rei. You are invited to those as well."

Rei's eyes open wide. Her head jerks back a bit. _Why was I invited? I am the one who caused this suffering, yet she… accepts me into her personal life._

"Thank you."  
She chuckles. "I've never seen you make such an animated face. You need more people skills anyway, Rei. One of my last acts as Class Rep might as well be helping a friend."  
"A friend?"  
"Yeah." She sighs and gestures to the classroom. "This used to be my domain, my little kingdom. Now, it's just four walls and a bunch of desks. Instead, I have an Eva and a boyfriend." She glances at the clock. "We still have time. Would you like to have lunch with me?"  
"I do."

* * *

Asuka keeps on a perky demeanor, but on the insides she's confused.

 _Okay, get your head straight. Analyze the situation. I'm sitting on a bench with Hikari and Rei. Okay, why am I sitting on a bench with these two? Simple. Hikari's around me because she's an Eva pilot, so she needs comfort. What am I doing because of that? I'm providing comfort. Rei's here because… Um, Hikari invited her. The more the merrier I guess. Plus, Wondergirl's trying to have a conversation. She makes Shinji seem like a smooth talker though._

She looks over her shoulder. He's just standing there, watching them. A few days ago, she'd scream at him for being a stalking pervert but now… _Toji's just waiting to talk with Hikari. That's… nice… for a stupid jock._

They're current conversation, cleaning LCL out of their hair, has grown stale. Asuka has one she'd like to discuss.

"Can I ask you something?" She leans in closer; Hikari leans back.  
"Okay?"  
"What do you see in Pinky of all people?"  
"His…" She blushes and turns her head away. "His compassionate side."  
"What?"  
"You two fight a lot, so I don't think you see it but… I see it. He can be really thoughtful in his own kind of way."

Asuka shakes her head. Pinky's a perverted asshole who's… Hell, he isn't a totally perverted asshole, just mostly. He just better not be that way ever to Hikari.

"You see something in Shinji too, don't you?" This time, Asuka blushes and turns away.  
 _Shit._ "Ah, I, uh… Er ist mein Fruend. Das ist dur Wahrheit."  
"No fair. You know I don't speak German." She crosses her arms mockingly.  
Excuse me." Rei raises her hand, as if needing permission to speak in a class. Asuka nods for her to continue. "My knowledge of German is still limited, but _mein Fruend_ , while meaning _my friend_ literally, normally means _boyfriend_ when spoken by a female?"

 _Was zum Teufel! She knows German._

Hikari bursts into a steam of giggles. Rei stares at Asuka with an expectant gaze.

"We're friends, good friends."  
"Is that why you share the same smells?" _You little shit! I see that super tiny smile, Rei!_

The pigtailed girl catches her breath, not wanting to miss her denial of this accusation. _I could say we use the same bar soup, but I don't think that's what Wondergirl's talking about. I guess sharing the same bed means I share my scented shit with his aroma?_

"No." _Denial won't work. I can't tell the truth either._ "We…" _Fuck it. Hikari should hear the truth anyway._ "We get scared at night, okay? I used to get next to no sleep at night because of the terrors when I dream. It's lonely and cold. Our clothes are on and we don't touch, um, like… you know… but being close to someone I trust, uh, helps. We sleep better now, in the same bed, but don't tell anyone, especially Misato."

Hikari's face twists from aversion to fear.

"Yes, Hikari. It's that bad. It sucks, and I hate it. I hope your sisters have large beds. Come over for a sleepover if it gets even worse. Also, go talk to Pinky." She motions to where he's been standing for the past hour. "You'll need someone to just… be there for you."

* * *

They sit on the sofa together. When he got up to go to bed, a firm hand held him in place. He saw that look in her eyes and knew what she wanted. With Kaji around, they'd be in separate beds. If they accidentally fell asleep on the sofa together… _And that's why she's the smart one._

He sits up straight, but she leans against him. Her head rests on his shoulder. She also drools on his shirt, emotionally drained from the days she had today. _I only had one conversation with Rei. Asuka put herself on an emotional roller coaster all day._ He smiles.

"Sorry that my presence put you on the couch instead of the bed," Kaji whispers from the other side of the couch. He smiles, not the practiced one but a small one.  
"You knew?" he whispers back, not wanting to stir Asuka.  
"She wouldn't fall asleep like that unless she did it before."  
"Oh, I…" If it wasn't for the dark room, his blush would be easy to see.  
"I won't tell Misato as long as you don't act like me."  
"Thanks."

Shinji nods off a few times. Then, a voice brings him back to the land of the living.

"Who's Rei?"  
"Excuse me?"  
Kaji appears wide awake still. "I know she knows a lot, more classified than your father. I know you know her better than most."  
"I was told she's my cousin."  
"But what do you know about her? Not what you were told, but what you've found out yourself."  
"I know she's lonely, has a hard time being normal, and one of the toughest people I know."  
"I see… Did you ever wonder what happened to the Second Angel? The First caused Second Impact, and you killed the Third. Doesn't that make you wonder?"

He looks up at the roof appearing more innocent than a puppy. Shinji crosses his eyebrows.

"Why are you talking to me about this? What does an Angel have to do with Rei?"  
"I never said they had anything to do with each other. It's just… my line of work has the same safety rating as yours. I don't always have to time to apply finesse."

The air conditioning hums in the background. He feels Asuka's heartbeat against his body. He smells some sorta scented thingy lofting from his friend.

"Kaji?"  
"Yes?"  
"What happened between you and Misato?"  
"We were kids pretending to be adults. One of us grew afraid of the relationship and left. Both of us never lost feelings for each other, good and bad ones. Now, we're adults pretending to know what the hell we're doing… Shinji, don't pretend."  
"Okay… I don't understand adults."  
"No one truly understands anyone. It's what makes life so interesting."

* * *

Rei knocks on Suzuhara's… Toji's door.

"Coming!" A quick pattering of footsteps follows the jubilant voice. Sakura opens the door. "I hardly slept at all! I was too happy after you called me. You're taking me to school. Toji!" She turns around. "Hurry up and say hi. I'm being taken to school by Rei!"

Toji steps out of a room, apparently a bathroom, with a toothbrush in his mouth. His eyes appear in a daze, but he has a large grin. _Perhaps his talk with Hikari resulted in euphoric results for him._ Through the foam in his mouth, he gurgles, "Thanks, Rei. This means a lot to Sakura and, um, me."  
Rei bows. "It is my pleasure."

Before she could say anything else, Sakura takes the older girl by the hand and drags her away. Her red backpack bobs up and down, full to the brim with books, papers, and some form of a lunch. As she leads her on, the little girl skips.

"You're so amazing, but… won't you be late for school?"  
"I will call Section 2 for transportation."  
"Cool! That's so neat that you got a taxi group on call. Watcha doing after school?"  
"Two Evangelions will arrive this evening if the activation tests go well. I will be present for that occasion."

The girl stops. She puts her hands on her hips. "Oh, and I heard you were feeling sorry that you had Hikari as a pilot."  
"I assume Toji told you everything he knew… along with information passed on by Hikari?"  
"Yeah, he can't keep anything from this face." She makes a face that may be able to melt led. Four of those faces could produce some physical effect on Commander Ikari as well. "Kensuke is a kid like me. Hikari is more like you. Mature, you know?"  
"I have accepted that."  
"Why not Toji? He's mature and really strong too."

Rei's shoulders slouch. Sakura taps her diminutive foot on the pavement.

"I… could not entertain that idea. I could not endure hurting you by causing harm to befall on Toji. Additionally, his common disputes with Asuka would be troublesome for the pilots' effectiveness."  
"Oh… Can I tell you something?" She holds her hands behind her back and rocks on her feet. She keeps her gaze low and a soft blush emanates from her cheeks.  
"Anything."  
"I never had a big sister, but if I did, she'd be you."

The two girl stand a meter apart. Neither moves. Neither knows what to do or say next. A tear falls to the ground. Rei wipes another away before it too could fall.

"I love you, Rei."

She rushes foreword and hugs the blue haired girl. Her hands wrap around her waist like a vice. Rei keels down, face to face. She hugs the girl.

"I love you too."

* * *

"You need help with that?"

"Eek!"

Hikari stumbles back and covers her exposed chest. Changing rooms are for pilots only. Why is… _She's laughing at me?_

"Turn around. It's, um, improper to stare. Why are you here anyway?"  
"Have you opened your eyes yet to look at me?"  
"For all I know you're half naked too."  
"I'm not, Fourth Child. I'm in a plugsuit too."

Hikari opens her eyes. In the white changing room, there's only one thing, one person, out of place. The girl's hair is done in a ponytail. She wears glasses and a goofy, playful grin. It's the pink plugsuit that catches the rookie's attention.

"You're the… Fifth Child I guess?"  
"Nah." She shakes her head. "I would've been the Fourth, almost Third, if I actually got a designation. Instead, the Americans did their own crap. Bad news, I don't get a weird title. Good news, I was the only candidate they bumbled into."

She points at herself and strikes a pose like… um, the kinds Kensuke makes when he tries to look macho and soldier-like.

"Oh, could you still look away then?"  
"I've seen the model before. Hell, I got a matching pair myself." She laughs again. _What does she mean? Oh…_  
She could almost feel the red coming on her face. "Americans and their relaxed standards are-"  
"British."  
"Excuse me?"  
"I'm a Brit. Union Jacks, tea and crumpets, and kicking Irish people in the dick. I'm one of those people. Well, sorta. That's the country that I got my passport from at least."  
"Well, your Japanese sounds great, like it's your first language."  
"I got some Jap in me somewhere, probably my vocal chords. Anyway, I got a lot of experience putting on these. Just exhale everything in there."

Hikari exhales.

"I bet you're the no touching type, so get your arms into those slots and put it on as if it's some sheer tights… Ug, you probably call them pantyhose."

Hikari gets both her arms in. She takes a few breathes while she's at it.

"Lift up with your shoulders till it's at your neck. Then, press that button." She points to a button on her wrist.

She does what she's told, and it works. The suit conforms to her body. They could've at least given her some type of garment for covering. Everyone's going to see her so exposed.

"Hikari, right?"  
"Yeah, how'd you know?"  
She shrugs. "Talked to some blonde in a lab coat. Her she's some big cheese, so I kissed her ass a bit. I got some info though, like your name."  
"Oh."  
"You embarrassed?"  
"Yeah."  
"If any perverts gets turned on by a… How old are you?"  
"Thirteen."  
"Shit. Another young child soldier. Well, if any pervert gets turned on by a thirteen year old in a form-fitting suit for damn warfare, then they deserve to be castrated… unless they're your age too. In that case, you'll get the cream of the crop."  
"Um…"

The British girl looks at the clock.

"Well, it looks like we're late. Oh, I'm Mari." She holds out her hand. "Nice to meet ya."  
Hikari shakes it. "It's nice to meet you too."  
"You a friend of Asuka?"  
"How'd you know?"  
"They wouldn't put some rando on the team, would they? I already took that position. Blue doesn't seem to be the _I've got a shitton of friends_ type from the conversation I had with her. Shinji… I need a nick for him… Asuka got her claws 'round him. Since you don't have a y chromosome, then I bet you aren't too close to the lonely male. That leaves my fellow foreigner."  
"Um, I'm getting closer to Rei too. She's nice if you get to know her."  
Her eyes light up. "Groovy. Sleepover quartets!"

Mari walks out of the changing room along with Hikari. With every step, the rookie feels that knot inside her stomach tighten.

"You worried? I was too my first time. Sorta like sex."  
She widens her eyes. "B-but you're, um, fourteenish. Isn't that too-"  
"It's an analogy. Plus, I'm trying to distract you a bit. Oh, black suits you quite well too."  
"Thanks?"  
"Well, I gotta zig to my Eva while you gotta zag in that direction." She points to a flight of stairs. "A word of advice, open your heart to your Eva. It's friggen' weird, but embrace Unit 03."  
"Okay. Thank you for your help."

She bows. The auburn haired girl giggles.

"Aw, no need for thanks. Friends?"  
"Yes."  
"We can be wingmen, wingwomen in our glorious cases. If shit clogs the fan, let's try to save each other's asses. Sound like a plan?"  
"Sure."

Mari runs up her flight of stairs. Hikari sighs and trudges up hers. _Perhaps Rei choosing me was a mistake. Eva pilots apparently have to be really, uh, different from other people. Me? I'm normal._

She reaches the top. She opens the door to see a black monster. It's like Shinji's, but it seems less… alien. Its proportions seem normal, and it doesn't have that horn thing. Two eyes stare ahead. Technicians scramble around making last minute preparations. In the crowd, she sees a familiar face. In fact, it appears to be Toji's, just two decades older.

"Mr. Suzuhara!" she calls out.  
He turns from his notebook and smiles. "Ready, Miss Horaki?"  
"I hope so. I'm sorry I took you away from Toji and Sakura."  
"It's all in the name of duty. Good luck."  
"Thank you."

A smiling woman directs her to a cylindrical capsule. Remembering Asuka's advice, she takes a deep breath before entering. She feels a jerk. _This is when I'm inserted._ LCL fluid fills up the claustrophobic cavity. _I can breathe this._ She tries to inhale it quickly, but survival instincts prevent that. When Miss Misato's face pops up on her communication screen, the girl coughs and gasps for air.

"The first time's always the most painful. Ready, Hikari?"  
"Yes, ma'am."  
"Well, Ritsuko is about to start the sync. It'll feel weird, but… I bet you already got some info from the others."  
"Yes, ma'am."  
"Commencing sync." Misato clenches her temple and shakes her head. Hikari hears a voice chattering in the background. It sounds like an impatient Mari." Let's be quick. That Mari chick won't stop begging us to sync her too. She really wants to go to Tokyo-3."

Hikari feels a pick in the back of her mind. It feels different, invasive, alien. As the world around her shifts into a rainbow of colors, she opens her heart to the presence. She feels warm, safe. It's like a hug.

"Sync complete. Damn. You're almost hitting forty! Great job!"

Hikari blinks again and again. She sees the world. It all seems smaller, since she stands so far above them all. It scares her. _So this is piloting Eva._

"Don't try to move or anything. Your thoughts correspond to your movements as you already know. Just wait a few minutes for us to run some scans. Hey, nothing blew up and your Eva didn't go apeshit on us. Hurray!" Miss Masato looks at someone off screen. "Mari's begging for us to not sync her now? Will she ever make up her mind?" Someone says something off screen. "Impatient? You're telling me she's too impatient to wait any longer? Sync her anyway. When we're done, I'll-"

Alarms scream in a red, flashing fury behind Miss Misato and around Hikari. The girl panics. She rips free of her restraints. All she hears from her comm line is one word.

"Angel!"

Then, Hikari feels more pain than she thought possible. Her eardrums ring from the explosion. Her body burns in agony. She shrieks and crashes to the ground. Everything's engulfed in smoke and flame. When her vision clears, she sees two things. Smoldering wreckage and…

Unit 04. It walks towards her. It mouth hangs open. It arms seem too long.

Hikari looses rational thought. She curls into a ball and cries and the monster takes step after step closer. Its hand wraps around her Eva's throat. She tries to pull away nonexistent finger away from her neck.

A blue goo drips onto her Units face. She bellows with all her might. Lines erupt around her body.

If only she fell unconscious… a way to flee from the terrors of reality. No, that's not what happened. She feels her body push itself up, and she feels her head turn to Tokyo-3.

* * *

 _Okay Asuka, keep a clear head. The Angel must have attacked Matsushiri first. That's why there's no contact. I cannot let what happened last time happened again. Not again._

All three Evas reach the surface at the same time. It's almost exactly where Shinji fought his second Angel. All of their comm windows display each others' faces. She sees the utter fear in Shinji's eyes; she sees the crippling guilt on Rei's.

Before any of them could speak, a voice comes over their audio feed. Cold, calculating, and harsh. _Why couldn't he have been in Matsuchiro instead of Misato?_ "Pilot Sohryu," he says.  
"Sir."  
"I give you full control over this operation. Destroy the Angel at any cost."  
"Yes sir."

 _What would Misato do?_

"Shinji, Rei, keep your asses by me. We'll kill this asshole. Then, we can help the rescue operations for Misato and H… Hikari." She can't suppress the pain. They see it in her as well, utter fear. Other than Rei and Shinji, that sweet girl is her closest friend. She could be dead for all they know.

The technician Maya, her voice interrupts the world's crappyest pep talk. She sounds horrified. "We just established visual feed. The targets will reach you in two minutes. Two targets. Units 03 and 04 are infected by an Angel. The pilots are trapped."

Asuka doesn't hear whatever else the young woman says. _The Angel has Hikari?_

"Asuka! What do we do?" Shinji looks at her. His eyes plead for an idea, anything. She's the lead pilot. She's the genius. She must have a plan.  
"Rei and Shinji, take Unit 04. Destroy it. Rip out the entry plug if you can. That and the core keep it kicking. If you don't stab the entry plug, then that pilot won't be harmed. I'll save Hikari."

They nod, neither looking ready for battle. If Asuka had a mirror, then she'd say the same about herself. _God, this sucks. What can I even do? Damn it. I have no info except it's Evas. At best, we'll have equal power. I better have more skill._

They appear before them, walking forewords. Their arms hang down as if they're puppets without strings. They're cast in a crimson aurora by the setting sun. _A tactical strategy. They're smart._ They look hungry.

Asuka fires her rifle, and her teammates follow suit. The enemies leap into the sky, far more powerful than an Eva could. Asuka bounds out of Unit 03 way. She swipes at its feet and knocks it to the ground. It reaches out and grabs her ankle. It squeezes; her ankle snaps.

Asuka whimpers as her Eva falls onto a mountain, but she doesn't have time to recognize the pain. It gets on top of her and wraps its hands around her throat. Asuka lets instinct overtake her. She takes out her knife and slashes its eyes. Its mouth lets out a deep screech. With the grip on her throat lessened, she presses her advantage. She rolls on top of the Angel.

Her knife slices through its neck into the earth. The monster thrashes. Its limbs crash through the ground, exposing concrete. _A shelter?_ She holds both of its arms and wraps her legs around its own. After a few seconds, it stops. She rolls it on its back and rips out the entry plug. Wiping off the blue, web-like matter, she sets it on the ground.

She hears Gendo's voice over the audio. "Pattern blue has ended. Engage Unit 04."

She stands up but falls down immediately. She looks at her crippled ankle. _Shit._

* * *

Shinji clutches his right arm. It feels broken, just like his Eva's. The monster and Rei grapple for dominance. It pushes down on her while their hands are interlocked. She can't last must longer.

He gets up and charges, prog knife in his left hand. It head buts Unit 00 causing it to smash into the ground. It takes hold of Shinji's good arm. With a single motion, it breaks that arm too. He feels a sickening crunch when it kicks him in his chest. The entire midsection of the Eva caves in. He can't think due to the pain. His Eva sinks to the earth, into its pool of blood.

Unit 04 turns to Rei, only now standing up again. It takes her neck in its hands and chokes her. She tries to pull away the hands, but it's to no avail. The boy hears his sister gurgling, gasping for air. He tries to stand, but his Eva can't. It's dying.

"Rei!" He slams his fists on the Entry Plug's walls. "Move you piece of shit! Move!"

Her struggling becomes fainter. Her wheezing spaces out more and more. His frantic determination does nothing. He hears his sister dying.

"Shinji!" He doesn't hear emotion in his father's voice, just power. "Save Rei now, or I will kill the new pilot."  
"I can't do anything, Father!"

He stops hearing Rei. No gurgling, whimpering, or struggling. Her arms fall down and sway back and forth. _Dead?_ He stops crying. _Dead._ He trembles in cold-blooded fury. _Dead!_

Eva and child make a sound. Like fingers on a chalkboard, it pains any who hear the animalistic, enraged screech. The Eva stands. The chest pushes itself back out. The arms straighten themselves into position. He feels Unit 01's bones snap together.

Shinji grabs the prog knife; the monster drops Rei. He charges. The creature braces for impact, but Unit 01 slams into the Angel. He punches its head and turns right side of its face into an explosion of blood. He sinks the knife into the core, destroying it. The Angel struggles anyway. Without thinking, he flips the Angel over and stabs the only other thing that keeps an Eva running.

He sinks his entire blade into the Entry Plug.

He drops the body on the ground. _What have I done?_ The world around him disappears. All he sees is the cylindrical Entry Plug, his. The other one is… He curls into a ball and cries.

Rei died, and he murdered.

He doesn't respond when men open the hatch. He doesn't help or struggle when they pull him out. He doesn't move from the seat as he's driven to Central Dogma. He doesn't protest when he's put in a prison cell.

He failed, and he became a monster.

He doesn't turn his head when the door opens, but he opens his eyes when he hears that voice.

"Shinji." His father doesn't even sound upset. "Higher powers demanded your temporary incarceration. Rei is largely uninjured. Good job."

He closes the door and encases the boy in darkness.

* * *

"Asuka, you're ankle seems to give you trouble."

Ignoring the pain, the redhead puts on a sock and shoe on the throbbing ankle.

"No choice, Wondergirl. I'll be fine. You need to get that neck checked out at the hospital. You look like bruised shit. Shinji needs to know what happened to, you, Hikari and… um, Mari. I know I'll be the only one who'll be telling him anytime soon. This Captain rank finally has a use."  
The blue haired girl nods having already changed into her civilian uniform. "I will accompany y-" Her cell phone rings. She accepts the call after seeing the caller. "Hello?"  
Her face twists into confusion.  
"Who is this?"  
She covers her mouth. Her eyes open in terror.  
"Injured? A casualty of war? Where!"

"Rei!" Asuka calls out to her fellow pilot, but the girl had already sprinted out the door. The Second Child only manages a few steps before collapsing to the floor. She clutches her ankle.

A meter away, she sees Rei's phone on the floor. Asuka turns it on and looks at the most recent calls. The newest occurred seconds ago. The caller ID had a single word, one that made the spitfire freeze.

 _Sakura._

ZZZ

Misato's voice: "Every pilot has been or will be crippled. They failed, yet others paid the price. Will any of them be able to pilot when the Angel of Might arrives? Will any be willing? One will be ready to sacrifice anything. Oh, Unit 00 reveals some rather interesting mysteries."

ZZZ

Author's notes: Feedback is welcome, almost needed, for this chapter. I took a bunch of risks for this chapter, more than any other before this point. I really would like to know how you're taking them. Thank you. I'm super nervous how this'll be taken.

You surprised? You will be for the next chapter as well (which'll probably end up pretty large). It'll give both the aftermath of what happened and the desperate battle against Zeruel. What happened to Sakura, Mari, and Hikari? Why is Shinji in prison (again)? Why did I say every pilot is crippled when Asuka only has a painful ankle sprain? (It's not broken in case that's what you're thinking.)

This chapter was hard to write. After completing every scene, I knew I just took one step closer to Bardiel. At this point, I know I just pissed off a bunch of you and made a whole bunch of you in some form sad. I would be too if I was a reader. As I said before, people were going to die. Still, your expectations will be… subverted next chapter. There. Now, you can have some (vain?) hope to cling onto.

I debated a lot on how to write the battle scene in terms of how extensive it should be. In the end, it was shorter than what I expected, just over a thousand words. Bardiel's strategy seemed to be a glass cannon type of thing. He took out Rei and Asuka immediately in the anime. When the Dummy Plug fought back, it killed Bardiel immediately. Thus, both of the fights were intended to essentially be races to getting a killing blow.

Oh, I apologize for Mari's comment against the Irish. It was rude, but it seemed exactly what Mari would say in that situation.

Was Bardiel an interesting battle? Unit 04 was the original infected Eva. Hikari didn't put up a fight. (I thought her fighting back seemed to OOC.) Asuka took down Hikari's Eva without much trouble. Two very out-of-the-game pilots almost could finish off Unit 04 until Shinji went berserk again.

I had a bunch of ideas I tossed around instead. What if Bardiel infected Unit 04 in Nevada, so Shinji and Asuka (along with their units) were flown to Las Vegas for a fight? What if Unit 01 awakened during this battle after seeing Rei "die"? (She simply lost consciousness. As we've seen in the anime, Bardiel wasn't that good of a choker.) Those were just a few of my ideas. In the end, this is what I chose. There's more to the battle though that we'll see next chapter.

I'm trying very hard not to "force" conflict or the mental deterioration of the pilots. I want it to be believable even if it means I'll have to descend to levels I'd rather not. Each pilot will receive their own kind of tribulation. If you were wondering why Rei, Asuka and Shinji formed such strong bonds, all the shit that has, is, and will happen contributes to a notable part of my decision.

Lastly, here's an interesting side note. Despite the warm feelings between my characters, I only have four instances of characters saying the exact phrase "I love you" in this story. Shinji used it after they defeated Ramiel. Asuka mentally thought the phrase when trying to seduce Kaji on the _Over the Rainbow_ , but she learned that it wasn't love, just a crush. The final two came this chapter between Sakura and Rei.

Replies to Comments:

ADeadDieHard, yeah, "hotshot fighter pilots" was a small nod. I have a few qualms with Eva 303, but the premise might be my favorite _totally different_ AU for Evangelion. I had a suspicion that you were thinking about that specific Mari theory (which I believe is more interesting than Mari being Yui's old and non-aging 90s buddy), but flat out stating that would lead to the possibility of assumptions. I'm trying to keep Mari at the same level of " _what's her backstory?"_ as Rei for the time being.

As for my alternative scene, either Mari or another character were going to die, but not both. Since I haven't revealed who died (since where I left off seemed to fit thematically quite well into this chapter), I can't give more details now. Arg, my no spoiler policy sometimes makes my author's notes section quite difficult to make.

Traitor of All Traitors, now, I feel like an asshole. You still aren't exactly certain what happened to Hikari. Sorry. I can say she's a very fun character to write because she's, well… normal. She also holds what might be my favorite _cute_ line of this fanfic. When Pen Pen was on her lap (just before Shinji told Asuka about him being a twin), she used the phrase _He's so cute and fluffy!_ I really like that. I get to use a teenage girl without the emotional baggage of the others. Still… um. You'll find out next chapter. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? Well, unless it kills you, then you'd just be dead.

PrometheusDark, did I subvert your expectations this time? If so, they'll be subverted again. This chapter and the next one took/will take more planning and setup than anything else so far. Ah, you also mentioned Kaji. Did you notice who the spy didn't mention during the unmonitored conversation? Rei, the very person he knows has a shitton of mysteries and info on anything related to NERV. Instead, he just tried to help out with Asuka. Even when he mentioned her this time, he had a ulterior motive for that beyond _I'm a spy_.

OrionFanOfEverything, I figured having Misato's voice become serious would foretell the tragedies of this (and the next) chapter. Still, Misato's voice has a few more light hearted sections up her sleeve.

J7Ydv, have a very "veri n1c3pokst0riQo" day to you too! Same with your two other gibberish comments! You don't happen to be the exact same guest who posted near identical spam messages on Adam Kadmon's newest storygame, would you? Btw, that's a pretty interesting AU fic too. I'm still waiting for it to veer off in a weirdly dark direction though because, well, it's by Adam Kadmon. :)

List of notable enough things (for me) that aren't canon:

Asuka, Rei, and Toji all tried to comfort Hikari, the Forth Child.

Mari's Unit 04 was the original infected Eva and cross infected Hikari's unit.

None of the Evas were destroyed during the battle, though Unit 04 took heavy damage including its core.

Shinji actually fought this time, and he went berserk.

A shelter was crushed by Units 02 and 03.

Main character(s) died.

Gendo told Shinji, "Good job" after the battle.

Well, I actually did this one early after saying it'd probably be late. What the Hell? Well, I unexpectedly got Labor Day off, so I thought to myself, "I'm getting this done!" But… please, feedback is really appreciated. Does the tragedy seem forced? Was the battle less than stellar? Did you dislike the way I portrayed Mari's character? Stuff like that.

Thank you everyone for reading, commenting, favoriting, and following my story! Your support does a lot for keeping me going, especially on hard (and dark) chapters like this one.


	20. A Woman's Battle

Chapter 19

 _I remember hospitals as places people go to die. I know that's not what it is, but I can't convince myself to believe that. They sent Mama to the hospital, and she killed herself. Whenever Shinji, Rei or I get close to dying, they cart us off to those horrid, white buildings. Whenever it turns out we won't die, they send us away._

 _Now, my friend Hikari has been trapped inside one of these Hellholes. They said that new pilot… Mari… is in it too. I bet the hospital will succeed with her and give Kensuke that opening he's been craving. Hospitals are for killing. Mein Gott, I haven't seen her much, but Sakura better not be in here. Anything but that. Shinji and Rei would never recover._

* * *

 _Okay. Think. THINK. Rei ran off to somewhere, probably the hospital. Shinji's in a damn prison cell. Misato, Ritsuko, and Kaji are on their way here while the former two are injured… I think. There's so much shit going on. I'm hurt. My ankle must be sprained from the fight. I need to do something._

 _Rei looked scared… not just "Rei" scared, but fucking terrified. Something really bad happened. Shinji's in a jail, and I know he'd slit his wrists at this point. Does he even know that bitch is alive? No. Commander Asshole wouldn't tell him that. Oh, the other two pilots are in the hospital. For all I know, either could have died from their wounds. I don't even know if I injured Hikari. I don't think I did…_

 _I need information, but Kaji and Misato aren't even here. The old fart and the Bastard King won't be helpful. Um, that leaves… nobody. I'm alone in this._

She takes a deep breath. "I'm a Major. I'm the lead pilot. I'm their friend, his best friend. Time to do your shit, Asuka."

She moves to the hospital in a painful mixture between walking and hobbling. As much as she'd like to comfort Shinji and as much as he needs her in this moment, she can't let Rei face whatever's awaiting her alone. Hell, Shinji would tell her to do the same. _That baka is way too selfless._

It seems like an eternity. With every step she takes, voices nag inside her mind. They tell her to stay away from the hospital. They tell her to see Shinji. Others tell her that she failed. She only listens to the latter because she did fail. All of the pilots are under her command, and Commander Pervert gave her full autonomy. They wouldn't have failed if Misato was there. None of the other Eva fights resulted in such a catastrophe. Hers did.

When she opens the door, she looks for the nearest person who has their heads screwed on straight. It's some nurse, a kid a few years out of college at most. He walks down the hall deadest on wherever he's going.

"You!" She points at the man.  
"Captain, I'm required at-"  
"Where's Rei?"  
He shakes his head. "I don't know." His eyes glance down the hall.  
"Do you have a new patient under the surname _Suzuhara_?" _Dear God, please let him know that information and let it be a no._  
"Two. The Sub-Commander has been down our necks on both. The one that's still alive is under operation on the second floor, room twelve. I gotta go. There's a ton of kids transferred here."

He runs off down the hall. Asuka can't move, can't think. Her head refuses to process the information. Mechanically, she takes an elevator to the second floor. Each footstep gets heavier, as if her legs lost their strength. She stops outside one door. She doesn't need to see the number. There's a much more telling mark sitting… crying in a chair.

Asuka sits next to her. She tries to say something, but her mouth became dry. Her tongue became heavy. Her head finally processes the information. She curses that moment.

 _Hikari's Eva struggled after I stabbed it. I couldn't stop the flailing. A bunker was smashed and now a NERV hospital has an influx of children…_

Her stomach lurches. She covers her mouth doing all to not vomit on the floor.

Rei sits in the other chair, letting her silent tears fall into small puddles. Without turning her head, she deadpans, "They used the same shelter all the time. Being outside the city was deemed safer. They were in that shelter during the Fourth Angel's attack, when Kensuke sneaked outside to film. Stories already circulate on what went wrong. I… I learned a story of what happened from another patient on this floor… Kensuke…" _Shit. "_ The ceilings collapsed in certain areas. The students could not flee when the battle raged."

Asuka punches a wall. She feels her hand break through the drywall, fortunate that she hit where there was no wood. _I failed._

"Most of the students fled out of the shelter. Some were trapped. A few ran farther back to retrieve others. One was Toji, since his sister's class was the one who…" Rei releases both of her clenched fists. "Sakura's class was the only one to suffer a collapsed ceiling. Most of those elementary students were retrieved before the entire section buckled. Toji was among the last to emerge, carrying his sister. Both were covered in dirt. Both were bleeding profusely. Toji was crying. Kensuke said it was tears of joy. I have seen Shinji cry that way before. Toji's head was torn, as if something sharp fell on it."

Rei looks up at the operating room's door. "Sakura will recover. The surgery is simple. Amputation rarely results in death, especially in this facility. Toji died a few minutes after arriving."

Asuka slumps down against a wall, unable to do anything else.

"Asuka, I have failed you all. I wished to protect Sakura. Now, I killed her brother. Her father was a technician for Unit 03. He died in the explosion. She is now an orphan, no living relatives."

In the midst of the redhead's turmoil and self hatred, she has one thought that is true. _Hospitals are places of death._

* * *

 _I'm a monster._

Shinji breathes. It's not a conscious thought. His body forces him to.

 _I'm a monster._

Time passes by the boy. Has it been minutes, hours, days? He doesn't know; he doesn't care.

 _I'm a monster._

No one opened that door since his father. Not Misato if she's even alive. Not Rei. Not Asuka. Who'd want to look at a murderer anyway?

 _I'm a monster._

He sunk his prog knife in the entry plug without a care in the world. He felt only rage. There was no inner turmoil at the action. He didn't consider morality or other options. He killed that pilot with the same grimness as pealing an orange. He just… did it. _Desensitized._

 _I'm a monster._

His door opens and closes after someone takes a few steps inside. He doesn't open his eyes to the newcomer. He doesn't turn his head off the floor. He doesn't care.

"Hey."

It's a new voice, but he doesn't feel curiosity. It sounds wary. _Rightfully so. Talking to murderers can be hard._

 _I'm a monster._

"I'm the pilot you tried to kill. I'm still alive." The speaker turns on the cell's light. He opens his eyes and blinks several times to adjust to the brightness. He sees a girl. She looks mostly European. She has a hair like Asuka, though a little darker.

She sits down beside him. "In all the ways to meet you, this is one I wouldn't expect. You're just lying on the ground like a corpse. That's pretty pathetic, you know? Sit up at least."

He does. She smiles, a sad one. "Rei and Asuka are fine. So's Hikari, but she's still unconscious. Blue and your buddy are in Sakura's room. Asuka won't leave Rei's side because she took it hard. Your fight had nothing to do with casualties. Asuka and Hikari's did."  
"Sakura?" he croaks.  
"Yes, a shelter collapsed. Ten deaths, nine of which are children. Twenty are still missing. Your friend Toji died saving Sakura."

He wraps his arms around his legs, the fetal position. His friend died doing what he should've done. He should've been the one protecting others. _Shouldn't I be feeling more depression? Maybe I can't._

 _I'm a monster._

"I'll be staying here a while. You need the company. Plus, I punched a superior officer, an old guy, to get here." She shrugs. "He liked the idea though, so it's all fine."

He closes his eyes and sees Toji. He sees his punch when he was angry. He sees his eyes light up when he learned Sakura was getting transferred to NERV's hospital. He sees him when his friend gobbled down lunch, the only part of school the boy liked other than PE.

"You're the shittiest friend I've ever seen if this's how you're going to act." Her tone has shifted into a very dark growl. "Rei blames herself for Sakura's injuries. Both legs have been amputated. Asuka blames herself for everything. Shit, I am too, but you'll have to be there for both of them."  
"How do you know all this?"  
She shrugs. "An old friend. Kaji. Oh, Misato has a banged up arm, nothing too serious."

He notices something about her. She's fine, normal. She wears street clothes and not a single scratch on her body could be seen.

"How did you survive when…"  
She chuckles. "I got a badass guardian angel I suppose."  
"You're joking now?" He stands up. "My friend just died!" His voice reverberates against the cold walls. "You almost died. My friends are in a worse situation that I! What is wrong with you?" He stares her down, his face inches away from hers.  
She still has the stupid grin. "Puppy. That's what I'll call you."  
"BE SERIOUS!"

One moment, he was standing. He feels his world spin around, literately. Then, his cheeks come into contact with the cement floor. Her slap has a lingering sting.

"I am serious, Puppy. Listen to what I'll say, and maybe Asuka won't fall into a shitty depression, Rei won't withdrawal into being a doll, and you won't lose your mind after having everything that matters in your life go down the drain."  
"How did-"  
"Your head screwed on again?"  
"Yes."

She offers him her hand. He takes it.

She shakes his hand. "Name's Mari Illustrious Makinami. Made up the last two, came into this word with just the first one."  
He lets go and rubs his cheek. "Shinji Ikari. What do you have to say, and how do you know so much?"  
"That's unimportant. Just don't think that I'm freakin' Supergirl because I'm not. I don't think Rei's gonna leave Sakura any time soon. It'll take the next Angel to pry her away. Asuka, however, will be heading here before then I'd bet. She'll need your strength as much as she needs yours. You'll have to help her. Toji's death wasn't her fault."  
"Don't talk about him like that, like it's just a problem to be solved."

He clenches his fists. She looks away.

"It sucks, but Toji won't be the only person you know who'll die. The world rests in the hands of five kids. Two are in a jail cell. One's unconscious. Two are hurt and sitting in a hospital room. You don't happen to know the classification of the next Angel, do you?"  
"Um, the Fourteenth?"  
"The Angel of Might."  
"How do you know that?"

She sits down on the bed.

"Judging from the title, he'll make the others look like pussies. When Asuka comes in, you'll have to get her in fighting condition."  
"That's cold."  
"It's life. She's more fragile than she lets on."

He points his finger at her face.

"Don't talk about Asuka like that. You don't know her like I d-"  
"Age, 13. On the day she became an Eva pilot, her mother committed suicide. Mental issues probably include pediophobia, misandry, and borderline personality disorder. The symptoms of the latter include a messed-up sense of personal identity, a major fear of abandonment, black-and-white thinking, impulsivity, erratic emotions, depression, anger, and absolute fear of rejection. How did I do?"

She crosses her arms, as if she challenges him to retort.

"You can't know that information already." He grabs her shirt's collar. "No games. Tell me how you know this!"  
"It's great to see you being so assertive and protective."  
"Damn consequences. Tell me now!"  
"We're on the same team, asshole."  
"You haven't given me a reason to believe that."  
"How about this, do you know this cell isn't monitored? They never installed a camera. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. I bet your twin doesn't know that."

Shinji lets go of Mari's collar. She smirks.

* * *

Hikari stands on a train and holds onto a bar. She doesn't know why or when she got there. She just stands. It must be morning or evening. A red hue covers the train car. Her stomach tosses and turns as if she has motion sickness.

"Who?" She sees two people, Toji and Rei. They don't seem to notice her. The two sit on opposite sides of the train car and stare blankly at the other. She stumbles to them.

"Hello Hikari." Rei nods, but… there's something not right. The train tracks below clank like a heartbeat.  
Toji looks at her and slumps his shoulder. "Is she de-"  
"No." The blue haired girl shakes her head. "Just you, but she doesn't know."  
"Oh."

He stands up and motions for her to sit. She takes the seat next to his.

"Hi, Hikari."  
"Hello." She blushes. "Why are we here?"  
"I know why I'm here, oh, and my new friend too." He motions to Rei. "But not 'bout you. Were you injured during the fight?"  
"Fight?"  
"Yeah, you were an Eva pilot. It got infected."  
"Oh."

He rests his hand on her shoulder. She shivers from the warmth.

"I don't blame you for anything that happened."  
"What happened?"  
"The shelter used for most of the school collapsed. I ran back inside to save Sakura. I did."  
"I'm sorry."  
"Don't blame yourself. I guess it was my moment of redemption. I screwed up bad when she got hurt the first time. I'd go to hell and back again to keep that from happening again. I did. My last memory was crying tears of joy. My little sis was banged up bad, but she was breathing."  
"Was? What are you talking about, Toji?"

Rei clears her throat. "He's dead."  
He hugs his girlfriend. "It's alright."  
She hugs him back. "I'll go with you."  
"Nah, you ain't the type to abandon responsibility. Plus, I got a favor to ask of you."  
"You're really dead?"  
"Yeah." He laughs. "My new friend cleared up a few things though, helped out a bit. I always needed the help of others to pass anyway. Too bad I never got to use all that book stuff you taught me."

Rei clears her throat. "I apologize, but time is wearing thin."  
"Oh…" He kneels in front of Hikari, forcing her to look in his eyes. "Hey, Sakura's still out there. Could you promise to be there for her? All she got now is Rei, and my friend told me how that's about to change too."  
Hikari glances at Rei… She is Rei, right? "Yes, but…"  
"You'll get over me some day. Maybe find a smart guy. Sorry I can't grow old with you. Oh, and help out Kensuke too. Got it?"  
"Yes."

He kisses her forehead; she opens her eyes.

"An unfamiliar ceiling." She tries to sit up, but she can't. Her body aches too much.  
"Don't sit up." She turns her head and sees the last person she'd expect to see. "You're banged up worse than me."

Bandages wrap part of his forehead, but other than that, Kensuke seems fine physically. His eyes look dead though.

"The girls are with Sakura. She lost her legs. Shinji has been in a jail cell for the past three days. Some UN grouped freaked the hell out with how he fought."  
"Mari?"  
"That new girl? Everywhere. Here, sharing a cell with Shinji, talking to most of NERV's command at some point."  
"Why are you here?"  
"I thought T… T-Toji wouldn't want you to be alone."  
"He's dead."  
He cringes. "How'd you know?"

She looks at the ceiling. It's pale, white, lifeless. She whispers, "He told me."

ZZZ

Asuka leaves Hikari's room. She took Toji's death better than expected, some hallucination helped her somehow. It's a bit concerning to be honest, but it's better than… _Than how I was after Mama died_. Kensuke won't leave her side, some odd form of male duty; Rei won't leave Sakura's side, some twisted form of guilt. The kid still hasn't woken up. The doctors don't know how long they'll keep her under. They hope she'll heal soon.

 _And now I… I have to face Shinji. I left him alone. He was even stuck in there with that bitch. I… How can I face him? I failed. The great Asuka Langley Sohryu is a failure. My entire team went to Hell, and it's MY fault._

She meanders to the cells. Walking there should take just over an hour, but she arrived at mid afternoon even though she left the hospital in the morning. She doesn't want to see him. How can she tell him that she killed his friend, crippled his beloved sister's little friend, and put her friend in a coma for three damn days? Screw promises. No one could see her in the same way. That's why she avoided Misato this entire time… even though that woman was decent enough to bring Shinji food three times a day. She'd avoid Sakura if… when she wakes up. She'll avoid Rei when she finishes her depressed state of mind. She could only see Hikari for a few minutes. Then, she had to leave.

She takes her hand away from the button. All she has to do is press it and the door would open. He'd be sitting there, in the dark and alone. Asuka turns around. _I can't._ She doesn't know why. Every fiber of her being tells her not to. If she doesn't see him, then there will always be a hope that things will become normal again. If she sees him, then that hope will be killed.

She stops. The guards give her puzzling looks, but she ignores them. She sees Shinji, after she rejected being his girlfriend. It… it wasn't out of fear… _Okay, maybe a little._ But, they had to be romantically platonic so they could focus during the battles… She got taken by that sphere Angel soon after… It doesn't matter. She hears her words from what feels like a lifetime ago echo in her mind.

" _We're still friends, right?"_

She faced death on more than one occasion. She thought Shinji was going to die several times. Every instance, she felt fear. Somehow, it paled compared to that moment. He had every reason to reject her. She kissed him, cried, and rejected him. How could any man be fine with that? _And Shinji is a man, a kid too, but a man as well._

She hears his words.

" _Best friends."_

Two words. Together, they mean something that Asuka craves more than anything else. She needs someone who will never leave her, reject her, or abandon her. He claimed to be that person with those words.

She turns around and walks back to the door. She taps the button. The door swings open and reveals a dimly lit, claustrophobic room. On the back wall, he sits in a tiny bed on the wall. He looks up and his eyes open in surprise, as if he never expected to see her there.

"Hey," they say together. They look away at the same time.

"Um." He looks down. "You can come in if you want."

She takes a step inside and turns on a light. At least he wears his normal clothes now. The door shuts behind her. Until she signals the guards, it won't open.

He stands up and motions for her to sit next to him. "Uh, how are you feeling?"  
She grimaces. "Baka, I should be asking you that."  
"I already know everything."  
"Oh… I fai-"  
"Don't say that." His voice comes out tough. "You didn't. I know Sakura won't blame you. Neither will Hikari. Toji never would have."  
"I left you here alone."  
"You had the others to attend to. I… I had time to think."  
"About what?"  
He shrugs. "You mostly."

He motions for her to sit next to him again. This time, she takes the seat. He puts himself next to her. She sees the dark rings under his eyes.

"Shinji, how well have you slept?"  
"Like crap. You?"  
"Same." A arbitrary thought enters her mind, but it sounds like a good idea. "You wanna sleep?"  
"Sure."

The bed is just large enough for a man to lie, but the two teens squeeze in anyway. Asuka wraps herself up in his arms. Her entire world has become wrong, but this moment is right.

* * *

Rei stares at Sakura. The door opens, but she continues to stare. Someone sits next to her, but she still stares.

"Rei."

She turns immediately to the speaker, snapped back to reality. Commander Ikari's eyes are locked on her small form.

"Yes?"  
"You know that Suzuhara's father has perished, do you not?"  
"I know. I do not want her in an orphanage."  
"I made arrangements so that will not occur. How does seeing her like this feel?"  
"Broken."  
"What would you do to end that feeling, to make right what is wrong?"  
"Anything."  
"Now, do you understand me better?"  
"Yes, I know what must happen for Sakura to be… one."  
"Good."

Both of their phones ring at the same time. She feels a distant pull. The girl does not need to read the message to know what it relays.

"Pilot Ikari has to remain in custody. I cannot betray SEELE yet. You know what to do." He places his hands on her shoulder. "I apologize for what may come."

They stand together. Rei looks at Sakura for one last time as they exit the door.

"I apologize for leaving." Staff rushes in to take the girl somewhere safe, a vain gesture. Nowhere is safe.

* * *

"Pilots! All pilots, get to your Evas, NOW!" Misato screams over the intercom. Her voices shakes NERV's halls and passageways.

Kensuke looks out the glass at the GeoFront. That last explosion rocked everything. Hikari struggles against him, but he hold her down.

"Let me go! I need to help!" Her hands pound against his head. His glasses broke a minute ago.  
"You awoke from a coma. You're uncoordinated and too far away."

 _Fate has a thing for me. I want to pilot, then piloting kills my best friend. Now, I'm keeping his girlfriend from doing the same, but… I don't think they'd want her to either. No one came to see us after the alarm went off. There's no way in hell I'm ever going into a shelter again._

The ground shakes as if the world's being torn in two. A cloud of debris rains down from above just as Hikari's Eva emerges from the GeoFront.

"Hikari, someone's piloting Unit 03."  
She stops punching him. She turns out to look. "Who is it?"  
"Mari I'd bet. Her Eva was damaged pretty bad by Shinji."

The Eva fires some guns at the hole. A giant Angel levitates to the ground. It's orange, black, and white. Stocky too. He'd never expect this to be the first Angel to blast its way into the GeoFront.

The Eva charges as Hikari clutches him tight. It takes out a prog knife. The Angel lashes out with two thin appendages. Unit 03 dodges the first one skillfully. The second one slices through the Eva like it's nothing. The upper torso slides off the lower half. Blood fires out of both hunks.

"You won't be piloting any more, Hikari."  
"Will we see Toji again?" She sounds scared, like a little child. Too bad it's still braver than his.  
"Soon."

* * *

Rei's feels her mind connect to Unit 01. _Your son is in danger. I need you to work with me._ She feels her body lurch as the technicians launch her up the catapult.

"Rei!" The Major sounds frenzied. "Mari hijacked Unit 03. It got her in seconds. The arms are razors."  
"Understood."

 _We must win so Asuka and Shinji won't have to._ She stops at the GeoFront surface. The hacked body of Unit 03 lies on the ground. Rei dodges under two wiry arms. One cuts through her umbilical cable. She unsheathes her knife.

Rei screams. Her entire body burns. The Angel fired its beam at her. Then, she feels two wounds. First, her heads feels like it has been sliced off. Second, she feels a stab in the middle of her chest. She vomits inside the LCL. Her head slams into the side of the entry plug. Unit 01 must have fallen on the ground. Reality slips away from her clutches.

 _Get up. Take me. Do anything to me. Get up. Fight. I know you can win._

Unit 01 does nothing.

Darkness smothers Rei.

* * *

Shinji and Asuka parted ways at the cages. She let him out unauthorized. Damn consequences. She ran to her Unit cage. He runs to his, and now he's here. He stops dead in his tracks. _Rei._ It's empty.

Without thinking, he runs to the only other cage that houses a working Eva. He stops when he sees his father standing, staring at Unit 00. He's the only other soul in the room.

"You arrived."  
"Where's Rei!"  
"A bloody mess on the battlefield."

Another blast almost pushes Shinji to the ground. He clenches his hands into fists.

"Let me pilot Unit 00!"  
His father nods. "She wants to see you again."

He runs up the stairs and dives into the entry plug. One of the technicians orders an evacuation of the bridge. _It's inside the GeoFront. Damn robot, sync with me this time!_ His entry plug inserts itself.

He doesn't feel his heart beating. He can't breathe; he can't move. His tongue doesn't taste the iron-like LCL and his ears don't hear the horrors of war.

 _ **You.  
**_ _Let me move! Don't kill me! I need to save Rei before Asuka and Misato die!  
_ _ **Wait.  
**_ _I cannot wait! The Angel reached the bridge!  
_ _ **Time. Have time. Speed of thought. Fast. Not close to second yet.  
**_ _What do you want? Why are you the only Eva that speaks?  
_ _ **Eva?  
**_ _You're an Eva. We need to kill and Angel that destroyed Unit 01 with Rei inside.  
_ _ **Me? Not Eva.  
**_ _You're Unit 00, the prototype.  
_ _ **You Eva?  
**_ _I'm a kid, like all the other pilots.  
_ _ **I. You. Same kind.  
**_ _I don't care. You can be whatever you like. I need you to sync with me!  
_ _ **No.**_

 _No! Why!  
_ _ **Lonely.  
**_ _I'll sync with you every day for the rest of my life if you'll just fight for me!  
_ _ **Anything?  
**_ _Anything.  
_ _ **Want hug.  
**_ _Um… sure, but how?_

His eyes see again. Instead of the entry plug or the Eva cage, he sees a dark expanse. Only one thing stands out from the eternal nothingness. A streetlamp. A bench. A girl.

He walks up to her. Somehow, his feet touch something solid even though he sees nothing below. In front of him, the girl and the bench face away. She must be young, no older than Sakura. She has short, brown hair.

When he sits next to her, she turns her head opposite of his. _I have no idea what's going on, but she wants a hug as payment. Why am I not afraid, at all?_

"You want that hug now?"  
 _ **Why her hair blonde?**_  
"Who?"  
 _ **HER.**_  
"I don't know."  
 _ **Akagi.**_  
"Since… I never asked."  
 _ **Given name?  
**_ "Ritsuko."

The girl faces him. She has Rei's face, but it isn't. Her eyes are much too large, much too… wild, insane.

 _ **Hug me.**_

He does. He keeps his distance from the stranger, but she pulls him into a tight embrace with far too much strength for a girl.

"Can we fight now?"  
 _ **My tendencies fight.**_  
"You're fighting?"  
 _ **Winning. Pretty red fighting too.  
**_ "Where am I?"  
 _ **Core.**_  
"Will I be here forever?"  
 _ **I want yes. But let go.  
**_ "You still winning? Is Asuka alright?"  
 _ **Power out. Asuka. One arm.  
**_ "Let me fight!"

He lets go of her and stands up.

"I'll fight somehow! Let me out, and I'll s-"  
 _ **Unit 01. Awake.  
**_ "What? Is Rei alright?"  
 _ **Angel dead soon. You leave soon.  
**_ "Bye? Tell me, is Rei alright?"  
 _ **Will be.**_  
"Thanks, Unit 00."  
 _ **Not Unit 00.**_  
"Who are you then?"  
 _ **Bye. Ikari.**_

He slides onto the ground from Unit 00's core. As he looks up, he sees his Eva devouring the Angel like a rabid animal, a monster.

* * *

Asuka syncs with her Eva. _I hope Shinji made it to his._ Her clothes stick to her body. _No time for pleasantries._ Before she could call Misato, she hears a voice, one of those male technicians. "All personnel evacuate! Repeat, all personnel evacuate!"

She charges. There's only one reason a grown man who witnessed almost a dozen Angel battles would scream like a scared schoolgirl. The Angel's about to enter the Verdamt bridge. She feels it. Intuition maybe. Perhaps she's about to do something incredibly stupid that'll cause everyone she… loves to die. Perchance her gut is wrong, and she hears only an evacuation order.

 _It doesn't matter. I'm Captain Sohryu. Shinji needs me to be confident._

She rams her Eva through wall after wall. Each impact sends a stab of pain up her left shoulder, but she doesn't hear any crashes or alarms. Her hysterical scream drowns out sound. She doesn't notice her Eva doing the same.

She breaks through a thin, glass wall. She punches the abomination, about to kill every bridge member with glowing eyes. All she knows about its body is that it's big, ugly as Hell, and apparently overpowered.

 _I need to get it away from Misato._

She takes a hold of each shoulder and shoves it through a wall. _Keep it disoriented. No counterattacks!_ It falls on the ground as Asuka takes out her Prog knife. She jabs it through the left eye as the right eye fires a beam of light at her arm. Everything from her left elbow on down crashes into a wall. Her blood covers the monster and her real arms shoots pain up her body, as if it too is gone.

 _It's just a flesh wound._

She has to get this bastard away from the others. She kicks, punches, and shoves the larger warrior. When it loses its footing, she slams into its chest and sprints to the nearest catapult.

She momentarily pauses her deranged shrieking to actually say a word. "MISATO!" _Did I open the comm channel?_ She did. The catapult launches up putting more G-forces on her then she ever felt before. _This's fast._ She slams its face into the sides of the wall, each time driving her knife farther into its flesh and tearing off chucks of armor. The Angel bleeds more than her.

They soar through the air. Their launch propelled them into the sky. She positions herself on top, so its body takes the brunt of the impact. When they hit the dirt, she sees a mutilated Unit 03 and a decapitated Unit 01. _Rei? Shit!_

She head buts the knife. The entire hilt sinks under the Angel's tissue. She takes a hold of the face with her remaining arm and twists it upside down.

"Batteries!" Misato's voice overpowers the girl's continuous scream. She glances at the timer. _Twelve damn seconds!_ She takes a faction of a second to remember the two fallen Evas. _Unit 01, sliced cable. Unit 03, yes!_

She scrambles to the fallen Eva. _Did they put Hikari in one of these deathtraps again?_ She rips the umbilical cable from the Eva and inserts it into her back. She dodges, assuming something horrible was about to happen. It doesn't counter attack. Instead, she hears a roar, one she heard only once before.

 _Unit 00._

The Angel lashes out with both of its thin, silver arms. Unit 00 bats both away with two AT field. She sees both glow like fireworks, taking far too much energy for a unit without a cable. The Eva rips off the Angel's left arm. _Shinji?_ It tears out a chunk of its pasty white flesh.

She charges. Berserk or not, Shinji has to be in there. Like Hell she'll let her partner fight alone. She punches the back of its body making the beast twist. Instead of a beam of light engulfing Shinji, it hits the lake instantly creating a cloud of steam.

Unit 00 stops moving. The single eye stops glowing. _No!_ She leaps in front of his Eva and pushes it out of the way. Her open palm connects to their enemy's face, so it falls backwards. She grabs the core and pulls. Tendon after tendon tears off. _So close!_

The Angel's remain appendage shoots out. Then, Asuka sees only her entry plug, no longer powered by the severed cable.

She feels indescribable horror.

"Shinji!"

ZZZ

Rei opens her eyes. Blood and vomit intertwine with the LCL. Her lungs sting. She hears one thing, a reverberating hum. The explosions of battle, the crashing of Evas, and the clanking of metal against AT fields don't exist. Nothing. Just humming. She grimaces. Only one being still stands on the battlefield. Zeruel will descend to Terminal Dogma and start Third Impact. All will die. Asuka will die. Shinji will die.

 ** _No._**

Rei feels power. She lets the power envelope her, or maybe she envelopes the Eva. It does not matter. Her body begins to dissipate into the LCL. They feel the AT fields of her allies, friends, and family. All still live. They sense their head, so they pick it up with their remaining arm. When the head meets the neck, it lets out a war cry, a challenge. They see Zeruel turn around. Its mangled head twists into what may be confusion.

It lashes out with its arm, so they hold up their hand. Their fingers slice through the enemy's appendage. Giving a jerk, they rip out the silver limb and send the Angel tumbling towards them. They bite its face off as the monster makes a whimpering sound. Swallowing the prize, they attach the Angel's flesh to their own. A new arm bubbles from the thin metal.

They crawl on all fours to the body, foregoing any humanity. The Angel quivers, still alive. Their teeth sink into its core. With each bite the Angel shakes. They want it alive, to feel pain of being eaten alive. After the last of the red core slides down their throat, the Angel stops moving, forever.

Unit 01 burst from its bindings and gurgles… roars at the world.

Rei no longer sits in an entry plug.

ZZZ

Misato's voice: "Infused with another soul, what will Rei see? Is she already too withdrawn from the world to ever return? Meanwhile, everyone tries desperately to save her but fail. Rei sees Rei. Shinji becomes Gendo. Gendo sees Sakura. Mari feels defeat. Asuka… realizes herself. It's all in the next chapter. Form of the Mind, Form of the Woman."

ZZZ

Author's notes: Sorta confused with what just happened? I said a lot in sentences where characters just casually say something. Here's a quick outline if you want it: (warning, text wall)

SEELE freaked the Hell out after Shinji essentially controlled a berserk unit, so they ordered Gendo to put him in jail. Knowing when to pick his battles, he accepted. Kozo went around and got all the injured children from the shelter to the best hospital available. Toji dies. Rei mourns while Asuka loses her confidence. Mari wakes up, assaults Kozo (though he was fine with it) to give Shinji a pep talk, and gives a pep talk while also revealing she knows a lot of shit. Mari gets out and talks to NERV's highest four officials. Hikari sees Toji one last time with Train Car Rei and wakes up. After seeing Hikari, Asuka sees Shinji and falls asleep. The Angel arrives. Mari hijacks Unit 03 (more on that the next chapter) and fails immediately. Rei pilots Unit 01 and gets destroyed immediately. As Shinji converses with Unit 00, Asuka battles Zeruel akin to Shinji in the canon. On the surface, Unit 00 joins the fight. They both lose power. Rei does Rei stuff, gets herself absorbed into the Eva, and eats the S2 organ.

Damn, that's a lot to happen in just one chapter.

In the end, I opted to have Toji die and Mari live. Those were the two with targets on their heads. Hikari was never in danger of dying. Neither was Sakura.

Anyway, I purposefully did a few things that may initially seem odd. I killed Toji off-screen which's one of the major rules no one should break. **Don't kill characters off-screen.** I didn't see the point when the Toji, Hikari, and Train Car Rei scene seemed to be the better choice. I purposefully made Mari seem like a Mary-Sue which's another rule I shouldn't break. **Mary-Sues are the spawn of Satan!** Agreed, but she trashes Unit 03 immediately. Plus, all of her "awesomeness" mostly stems from the fact that she knows a shitton of shit. I didn't have many other ways to write her character due to what I know about her. I have more on her when I respond to your reviews.

Why did I make Mari and Rei get beaten so quickly? First, did you expect that? Fanfics are exciting when you don't know what happens next. Second, after a few views of that fight scene (one of my favorites) in the anime, I noticed something interesting. Zeruel wins the moment he seems to have control of the situation. Shinji basically never gave him a chance to recover during the fight (until he ran out of power). Mari and Rei, however, fought him in the open and with him as the aggressor. Despite Mari's general skill and the freaking dangerous combo of Rei+Unit 01, they never had a chance. Only a surprise attack or a berserking Eva could take down that Angel (in my opinion).

Oh, did I put Sakura in a coma just to "put her on a shelf" for a while? No. Why did I have her legs amputated? The effects of war are permanent. The last thing Sakura did with Rei was walk to school. Now, they'll never get to do that again unless… Anyway, this isn't a soap opera. Sakura will be out even though that scene will be hard to write. Toji and her father are dead while her "big sister" has been absorbed by an Eva. She's only nine. I'm legitimately sad. :(

What's up with Unit 00? I'd be willing to bet you've figured that piece of the puzzle out or at least have a strong hunch. If not, read the comments for this chapter. Someone's bound to comment on it (which's a great thing. Don't think I don't want that.)

Lastly, Shinji's final POV in this chapter started at about the same time as Asuka's and ended a little bit after that (during Rei's). Yes, he also got absorbed into Unit 00 and sent back out the moment it was safe enough. Just wanted to ensure that was cleared up.

Just as a side note, Asuka part of the fight was actually the most fun I've had writing any fight scene ever. I'm not even sure why, but it was a blast. :)

Replies to comments:

ADeadDieHard, still confused? I hope I managed to clear things up. If I didn't, please let me know. If you're still confused, then just about everyone else probably is too. Were your guesses you mentioned correct? Just curious.

I debated a lot over whether or not to replace "Jap" with "Japanese". It is generally a slur in most countries, including Britain and the USA. Mari should've known better, but she spoke before thinking. It didn't bother Hikari since she understood it wasn't intended to be offensive, just Mari shortening words down. Also… yeah, Mari's edgy too, so that doesn't help anything. Edgy + shooting mouth off + informal = not the best word choices.

Lautaro94, sorry. This chapter was pretty dark too. Though, I have piles upon piles of oneshots I'd like to do now. It's probably what I'll do when this fanfic reaches its ending.

Traitor of All Traitors, the next two chapters might explain a lot about why Gendo acts so cold. Still, he tried to help Rei… sorta… a little… kinda. Hey, at least Hikari got to say goodbye to Toji! I didn't kill or cripple her either.

PrometheusDark, confusion over Kaji's intentions was intentional. Having the spy be totally straightforward seems like a waste of a good character.

Did Rei tease Asuka? To tell you the truth, neither I nor Rei knows. Rei seems to have a very fine line with legitimately asking questions and teasing. At least, that's how I write her. Either way, she does care about how the two roommates interact. It was super fun to have Rei, Asuka, and Hikari talk to each other. Most of the time, I have a guy present if more than two characters are interacting. This time, I didn't and let the characters adlib quite a few parts of the scene. The adlibbed parts normally turn out to be the best too.

I guess you cried. Sakura was in the shelter. Now, she's a crippled, comatose orphan. I also feel like shit for doing that.

I had a few ways I could take Shinji's thought process. I ended up using a line from my chapter _The Phone that Never Rings_. "I'm a monster." Shinji decided to mentally beat the shit out of himself because he thought he deserved it. Is he all better now? No, and Rei being taken will… Well, you'll see.

Pacing fight scenes is hard for me. (I think I got it right this time!) I always fear I didn't say enough, said too much, or just made it all super boring. I didn't think I could convey a scene where it's just Eva vs. Angel (until now! Asuka vs. Zeruel seems right!)

Well, I'll be interested to see your reaction to Mari as time goes on. The interesting stuff with her is just getting started. Also… yeah. I agree. Her character feels lazily written in Rebuild, especially in comparison to the other pilots (except Angry Pirate Asuka from 3.33).

Cool! You work. I wonder who my readers are. Are they in school? Were they in school when the anime actually came out? Most prominently, do I even have one female reader? Maybe I'm weird, but just knowing you work is neat to know.

Well, this chapter gave us some more dread. We'll have two chapters of the aftermath and some big reveals. Then, we'll hit the three Angel that were perfectly crafted to annihilate all three pilots in the anime.

Poshboy, if you watched Rebuild, you wouldn't get a ton of info on Mari's character. She's had no character development at all. Essentially, she's an oddly good pilot who takes nothing seriously and has absolutely no friggen' back-story. Mine will have character development, a back-story that has actual relevancy, and…

…Well, I took inspiration on how to present Mari from this one show. The character showed up out of the blue, was totally out of sync with the tone of the other major characters, and ended up annoying a lot of the fans. Then, stuff got revealed at the end of the show that made people realize that she did actually fit into the show's themes, and she become one of the fan favorite characters. Her name was Asuka Langley Sohryu.

Like PrometheusDark, I'll be interested to see if you'll end up getting invested in Mari. If not, then it's my fault.

Thank you for pointing those errors out. I got those fixed. Spelling isn't exactly my strong suit. Hell, I googled _strong suit_ because I didn't know if that needed an _e_ or not. Also, thank you for, um, thanking me. At this point, any free time = Twins time. :)

As for what Asuka called the Fourth Angel, I chose that because… well, I figured that's what it'd be called. Asuka and Shinji haven't used the official designations much, and they're both early teens. Still, it did break the tone. Now, it's just "his second Angel." Thank you for the input!

Noteworthy things different from canon:

Toji died. Sakura lost both of her legs.

Shinji didn't run way, but Asuka tried to largely avoid everything.

Mari gets Unit 03 totaled; Rei, in Unit 01, gets decapitated.

Asuka beats back Zeruel with the help of a berserking Unit 00.

Unit 00 talks to Shinji.

Rei becomes absorbed into Unit 01 after ingesting the S2 engine.


	21. Form of the Mind, Form of the Woman

Chapter 20

 _What should a person do if a tentacle of death comes towards you? Dodge. What should a person do if a second tentacle comes? Dodge. Did I dodge the second one? No. Now, Rei's taken by Unit 01. Shinji glued himself to that Eva's cage. Asuka… she flat out disappeared, hiding once more. Hey, at least Hikari won't be piloting ever again… I think. She doesn't seem like the person to be compatible with the other souls. Still, NERV wants an explanation for how I used Unit 03, like… right now. This very moment. That guard has a gun. Meany._

* * *

"I won't ask this again," says Ol' Kozo. He asked this question three times explicitly and seven times implicitly in this interrogation already. "How did you sync with Unit 03?"

The man looks pissed. He glares daggers at Mari. His hands shake, not from Alzheimer's but rage. _But handcuffing my ankle to this table might be a bit much. At least they gave me a chair, a hard one._ Neither the Sub-Commander nor the two guards sit. They stand, a simple way to show superiority. They probably chose gruff looking guards for the same reason.

"You getting erotic pleasure by seeing me in my plugsuit?" _It's a hint, old fart. I don't wanna be in this anymore._ "Surprised you didn't ask them to strip search me." _Oh, that's so edgy sounding._  
"Answer me. Your actions destroyed one of just five Evangelions in the world of which none are operational at the moment."  
She waves her finger back and forth. "Princess got an arm." _I'll totally use that nickname for her. If her reaction will be like…_ "Puppy can sync with the Cyclops."  
"Irrelevant. Neither is fully operational. If you haven't noticed, all the recent Angels could've torn our battered Evas to shreds if they were in their present condition!"

Mari shrugs. "Meh, I was just following orders. Misato wanted us to get in the Evas. I got in one. What's the big deal?"  
"If you haven't noticed, that wasn't Unit 04."  
"Yeah, I did notice. Mine was still being prepared. Hikari didn't seem to be showing up any time soon, so I used hers."  
"At an eighty percent sync ratio!"  
"Cool, right?"  
"We already ran it by the MAGI. You had a zero percent chance of syncing."

His eyes glance to a guard's gun. _Even though dying might solve some problems, there's shit I gotta do. Oh well._

"I asked to sync. She let me."  
"Guards, leave the room please."

He doesn't blink until they leave. He doesn't move. He stares right at her.

"The Americans found you at an orphanage. A child among countless millions across the globe, parents long since dead. Your personal file is sketchy at best. How the fu…" He clutches his temple. "Only four people in the world who aren't a part of a certain organization know to call the Evas a she. You're the fifth."  
"Actually, Kaji found me on one of his business trips for Uncle Sam. Happened to spot a girl drawing NERV emblems and figured maybe I was in the wrong spot."  
"Kaji doesn't know about the souls. Does the name SEELE mean anything to you? We're perfectly happy to have another double agent."  
"SEELE is a bunch of old assholes. I don't have any humans helping me, yet."  
"How much do you know?"  
"Isn't that funny? Mrs. Horaki said the same thing, though she wanted to know how her daughters were doing. She also said it nicer."

Mari smiles. Kozo tenses.

* * *

"Shinji?"

He doesn't turn away from the monster that stole Rei. In the bandages, Unit 01 looks like a living mummy.

"You hungry?" The woman sets some food down beside him. "Don't worry. It's from the vending machine, nothing of Misato's again."  
"Progress?" If he wasn't consumed from loosing Rei, he'd be scared of his voice. Short, direct, cold. Deepen the voice and it becomes his father's.  
"With the data we have from you and Unit 00's… expulsion of you, we've got good and bad news."

Maya Ibuki sits next to him.

"Continue."  
"It's an internal trigger. The Eva can eject Rei at any time. It's just…" Her voice lowers. "We don't know how to do that."  
"I see."

She opens a can of coffee. After taking a gulp, she continues, "I've been working here ever since I got out of college a few years back. Started out as an intern. Sorta rose up the ranks."  
Shinji stares at Unit 01.  
"The entire time, I heard stories about Unit 00's pilot. She was like a ghost, never here most of the time. When she was, they'd say it was as if some of her still wasn't around. Like being figuratively transparent? Ug, Aoba can describe it better."  
"Continue."  
She smiles. "A few weeks after becoming an officer, I saw her for the first time. She didn't acknowledge my presence. She walked on by to wherever she was going. She always had a reason too. I never once saw her do anything for herself, anything like a normal girl would."

He opens a package of chips, the first food he ate in… quite some time. He wouldn't eat Misato's.

"Then, everything changed. I noticed she blossomed socially. She still wouldn't speak, but she did make eye contact. It started after you arrived, not a coincidence. Then, she walked up to me and said something. 'Lieutenant Ibuki, your kindness to plot Ikari was beneficial to his mental well-being.' Before I could make a reply, she left… I'm pretty sure she referred to that time you fell asleep in the technicians' lounge and I led you out."  
"I told her about that."  
"She became a much nicer person because of you, Shinji. She still doesn't say much, show much emotion, or smile; however, she… she's thoughtful. She greets me when we pass in the halls. She sometimes sits in the bridge at night, just to keep me company among the two men. She's proactive."  
"Yes."  
"So don't become who she once was, Shinji." He feels her staring at him. "When we get her out, she'll want to see you, the real Shinji Ikari. Not what you are now. I have to go now. The MAGI should be done calculating."

She stands up and walks down the hall.

"Miss Ibuki?"  
She stops. "Call me Maya."  
"Thank you, Maya."  
"Anytime."

She leaves. For the moment, he's alone with the Eva. He opens an energy bar while staring at the Eva. His eyes are the same as his father's.

* * *

"Asuka, it's been three days." Misato stands outside their door. Asuka sits alone in their bed. "Eat. Bathroom. Bedroom. You need to do more than that, and you need to be doing more eating for that matter."

"How's Shinji?"  
"No change."  
"Rei?"  
"No change."  
"Bother me again when you can say something different."

Misato slides their door open. It reveals a mess. The room has a hole in the drywall. Pages torn from magazines, shreds of glass from her hand mirror, plastic from one thing, foam from another… it's all just lying on the floor.

Shinji's side of the room is pristine, dusted and cleaned this morning with meticulous care.

"Blaming yourself for this is n-"  
Asuka doesn't move from her position, face down in the bed. "But I did! I was the last standing Eva. I was seconds away from victory. I messed up. Now, Shinji suffers and Rei might be dead."  
Misato sits next to her. The bed squeaks from the weight. "Asuka, that was the best piloting I've ever seen."  
"Doesn't matter. I still lost."  
"Would you do anything different if you had a do-over?"

 _I've asked myself this so many times already._ "No."  
"Every move you made was to defeat the Angel or to save us on the bridge. You even pushed Shinji out of the way."  
"I should've done better."  
"You can't change that. You can only change right here, right now. It's time to go."  
"Why?"  
"Because…"

Asuka looks up. Her guardian turns away, unable to look her in the eye.

"The Commander ordered you to see him."

The next hour felt like waiting for an Angel to arrive after being spotted. She went through the motions. She quickly showered, the first time in a week. She made herself look presentable, though the bare minimum. She sat in a car that for once didn't speed to its destination. She walked to his office. Now, she stands outside the door.

"You'll be fine." Misato rubs the girl's hair.

A thousand questions run through the prodigy's head. _Will he fire me? Does he blame me for this disaster? Has something happened to Shinji? Did he give up on Rei? Court marshal? Execution? Rape? Maybe I shouldn't have worn my school uniform. Shit!_

"You aren't coming in, Misato?" _Verdamt. I sound scared… Well, I am. I guess that makes sense then._  
"He gave orders for just you."  
"Can I borrow your gun?"  
"No."  
"How many times has Shinji talked to his father? Once?"  
"Face to face? Only one that really counts."  
"And I'm getting it twice?"  
"Yeah."

Asuka sighs. She looks down and notices that her right hand twitches. _Like Shinji?_ She wills it to stop.

The girl opens the door and walks into the massive, dark room. Gendo sits behind his desk. His hands are folded in front of his mouth. He wears those weird orange sunglasses. She can't see his eyes behind the shades, but he seems to be staring through her.

She instinctively folds her arms over her chest. _I feel exposed._

"Captain Sohryu." Something's amiss with his tone. She doesn't know what it is, but her get doesn't like it one bit. "Come."

She walks foreword. Hopefully, the walls aren't sound proof. One scream and Misato charges in and shoot the pervert. He never tells her to stop walking, so she does when she reaches his desk. The girl picks up a smell, one that she associates with Misato's apartment and especially the drunk's room. _Alcohol._

"What is the status of your pilots?"  
 _A simple question. Give a direct answer._ She straightens her posture. "Ayanami is trapped inside Unit 01. Ikari stays inside Unit 01's cage. I am combat ready and my Evangelion was repaired yesterday. Horaki was released from the hospital yesterday, though she is without an Evangelion. Makinami is not allowed to leave the GeoFront and has Section Two assigned to her at all times. Her Evangelion is not combat ready."  
"In case an Angel attacks, how many unit can we sortie?"  
 _Why are you asking me questions we already know?_ "At the moment, one."  
"What about Unit 00?"  
"No pilot."  
"Did the Third Child not pilot it during combat?"  
"His mental state does not seem conductive to piloting at the moment."

He stares at her. The room is cold, almost to the point where she could see her breath. Her body shivers, a sign of weakness.

"Can you do anything to ensure more pilots can pilot?"  
 _What is he getting at?_ "No, until Unit 04 is repaired and Ayanami leaves Unit 01, our situation remains the same."  
"Are you scared, Second Child?"

She flinches. The audible thud in her ears increases.

"No, Commander."  
"Do I scare you?"  
 _These walls better not be soundproof._ "No, Commander."  
"Would pilot Ikari improve if his personality was like mine?"

She should say _yes._ That's what he wants, but… But having him become cold… having him abandon her, detached from the world… He's already so close…

"I see," he says, interrupting her from her thoughts. "You know I placed you in the same room, do you not?"  
"Yes, Commander."  
"I did so for this scenario. I have lost what was dear to me, thus I became who I am. My son has befallen the same fate. Get off your sad ass. Fix him. Dismissed."

She stands frozen in place.

"Dismissed."

She leaves the room. The moment she closes the door, a hectic woman swarms her.

"Are you alright? What did he say? Why are you looking pale?" Misato's genuinely concerned over her. She also was hiding how worried she felt until now.

Asuka shakes her head. _What just happened?_

* * *

"They aren't ripe yet."

Mari takes another bite of the watermelon anyway.

"This was supposed to be my secret spot." Kaji doesn't sound pissed. He sounds like he normally does, playful and chipper.  
"Which's why I'm here, old friend."  
"I'm not old, but your guards will handcuff you to themselves for this." He takes a chunk of his melon and eats it. He spits the fruit out a moment later. "Shit's gross."  
"Reminds me of home."  
"Americans aren't known for eating watermelon early."  
"I'm British."  
"Neither are the Brits."

Mari shoves a piece in her mouth. Juice flows down from her lips.

"I came here to makes things right. Every time… Asuka, Shinji, and Rei suffer. Maybe I could change that. I could be that chirpy girl who lifts up the spirits of everyone and kick Angel ass. My Eva was the Angel that killed one of their friends. I then destroyed another Angel. I don't think they like me."  
"Maybe you could be more serious? I am." He chuckles.  
She shakes her head. "You're not serious on the outside. It's just… people are hard to understand. I find it easier to make them laugh or cringe. Oh, and manipulation. That's about it."  
"Nobody understands themselves, let alone others."

He sits next to her.

"The Sub-Commander wanted me to pick your brain a bit, Mari."  
"I figured. It's why the guards still haven't _found_ me yet, isn't it?"  
"Yep. They're standing over there." She follows his gaze to a large grove of shaded trees.  
"Funny. I thought you would've been fired by now."  
"Ouch. I'm hurt." He pouts.  
"Gendo must've at least deduced you're working for the local government by now, maybe SEELE too."

He shakes his head.

"There you go again. Knowing things that a child wouldn't know. Maybe telling others would help instead of getting Evas wrecked?"  
"I've been asking myself the same thing."  
"What do Gramps and Mr. Cheerful want to know most?"  
"You don't happen to have some info on the next Angel, do you?"

Mari looks to the sky. For now, a dome obscures her view of the heavens.

"I figured the Dead Sea Scrolls would give them a hint."  
"The Light of God doesn't do much."

Mari puts the last watermelon husk on the ground.

"Why don't they torture the information out of me?"  
"You wouldn't let them know you know if you thought they'd do that."

She laughs at the truth in his words.

"Arael will be a while away. We'll need to build up our lead pilot though. She'll be the one to engage the Angels now that Unit 01 decided to become a god, right?"  
"She will be the first one. Why build her up though?"  
"Because light needs a source to burn."

* * *

Shinji stares at the Eva. He's powerless, unable to save Rei. No matter what he does, it'd be fruitless. He could hijack Unit 00 and rip 01 apart, but it would kill her. He doesn't have the brains to think of a way to get her out. Instead, he sits and waits. She'll come out, one day. He'll be the first to greet her.

He hears light footsteps approach him. Seeing nearly red hair out of the corner of his eye, he feels someone lean against him.

"Will you tell me to stop being this way too?" he asks.  
"No."  
"Why are you here?"  
"To be with you."

She rests her head on his shoulder. His shoulders relax.

"Shinji, after I escaped Liliel, you promised to never leave me."  
"I did."  
"Was that the truth?"  
"Yes."  
"Then I have a promise to make too."

She puts her hands on each cheek and turns his head towards her. She presses her forehead against his and whispers, "Ich werde dich niemals verlassen."

He smiles. "You know I speak German too, right?"  
She blushes. "Scheisse. You never thought to tell me this before?"  
"Nein?"

* * *

 _What is this? Where am I? This is the entry plug, yet I am not here._

Her sight changes, even though she does not sense her eyes. She sees a beach. The red waters lap against the white sand. Other than the waves and the wind blowing in the far distance, she hears nothing. No children laugh. No birds chirp. No pedestrians walk throughout the city, for the city has been overtaken by the red sea.

In the waters, she sees faces formed from the white bubbles or deep red. Shinji, Asuka, Sakura, Commander Ikari, Doctor Akagi, Hikari, Kensuke, Major Katsuragi, pilot Makinami. She blinks, and they vanish into the sea.

 _They are people I know, and they know me. They are part of my world, and I am a part of theirs. The Angels wish to destroy our worlds, so humanity has created Angels to fight Angels._

 _Why do I enter their worlds? The world shall end within months, the only question being who holds the key. Entering their worlds causes pain, loss. I do not like these feelings. They are cold._

"Is it colder than being alone?" Commander Ikari's face stares back at her from the ocean. "Does the pain of loneliness warmer than the pain of loss?"  
"When I am lonely, I hurt only myself. When I feel loss, I hurt the other as well."  
"Like Sakura?"  
"Yes."  
"Then should you leave her? Would that not cause her to feel more loss?"  
"It would hurt her."  
"Relationships are like a spider's web. Unless you cut the stands entirely, every movement you make only binds you tighter."

The face vanishes.

"I have seen the strands cut before."

From the waters, she sees Yui Ikari lowered to the core. She, her father, and her brother stand together as they watch. Alarms. Screaming. Crying. No more.

The strand was broken. Their mother became an Angel, the kind made by man.

"Why do people love you?" Shinji stares at her from the deep red.  
"I am loved because who I was. You love me because I was your twin. Commander Ikari loves me because I was his daughter."  
"What about me?" Shinji became Asuka. "I'm not related to you, Wondergirl."  
"But we are pilots. Isn't our friendship, as you said, _convenient_?"

"I'm not a pilot, but you're still my big sister!" Sakura giggles from under the waves.  
"But I killed your family and crippled you. You should not love me. If you knew who I am, then you would flee in terror. I am the key."

"Then you would be lonely."  
"I felt less pain when lonely. Do not worry. Soon, I will become one with all, no longer lonely or able to hurt others. No one will be lonely' no one will hurt."

"What is it you wish?" The voice does not come from the sea. She turns around.  
Rei narrows her eyes. "You."

The woman stands ten meters from her. She looks at the ground and clutches her arm, as if she displays nervousness.

"Indeed. Tell me, what do you want? Is it Instrumentality?"  
"I want love and no pain. Companionship without heartache."  
"Don't fight me, and I will give it to you, daughter. To all, though they can leave if they so desire."

Rei takes a step back. Her foot becomes wet.

"You left us. You caused pain and heartache."  
"So let me fix what I broke. Let us give to the world what we both so dearly want."

" _No, let your daughter decide for herself._ "

Out of the waters, comes Rei. Her eyes are the same red as the sea and her nude form is the white of the moon.

" _She is the key. Let her be the one to open the door and shut it if she chooses._ "

That woman looks from one Rei to another. "I am letting her decide. We have few choices. SEELE. Angels. Me. Only one has an option for humanity's return, and your existence proves that an option will be taken."  
" _But there is another way._ "

Rei closes her eyes. _Father…_

She has a memory. Distant. Another time. Sometimes another life. A simple one, but one that was good.

She does not see the faces, but she remembers the voices.

"So they will live in this world, in the hell after the Second Impact." Commander Ikari, then just Ikari, sounds resigned.  
"If you have the will to live, anywhere can be heaven. Because they are alive, they have the chance to find happiness." Her voice was brighter back then.  
"I see. That is very true."

She remembers farther back. Is it her memory? No, she was not born.

"Have you decided yet?" She sounded excited. How long until she suffered the pains of childbirth?  
"The boy will be named Shinji; the girl will be named Rei."  
"Shinji… Rei… Beautiful names."  
"For beautiful miracles."

Rei leans back and falls into the red ocean. Her clothes cling to her body. Her hair flows freely in the waters. She feels enveloped, a good feeling.

"I wish to see my brother."  
" _Enjoy what little time that remains._ "

She falls onto the ground. Darkness envelopes her, a bad feeling. The last sight she sees warms her from the cold ground, air, and world.

Shinji and Asuka rush to her side.

 _Loneliness. I no longer feel alone._

* * *

Asuka and Shinji sit in a hospital room. At this point, this building might as well be their home. He collapsed into his chair a while ago. Now, he sleeps softly. _I can't wait to share a real bed with you._ She scratches her head. _That sounded dirty. Misato must be wearing off on me._

Rei hasn't woken up for hours, but they said she's only sleeping. From what Ritsuko told her, that girl might've not slept a wink while in there. Over a week without sleep… that'd suck.

Things will never be normal, per se, but maybe it'll get close. Perhaps they can go to school again. Maybe she could have one of those pointless conversations about how Kanji sucks or how one girl finds a guy cute.

She rubs her eyes. For now, they'll just be three kids in a hospital, at three in the morning no less. Misato let them stay because Shinji wouldn't take anything else as an answer. An Angel attack would be the only chance they have of getting him to leave before Rei wakes up. Other than that, nothing. At least he smiles now.

Asuka feels exhausted but doesn't feel like sleeping at the moment. They could've lost Rei; she did lose Shinji for a while. _Yet, I got him back. No, I ran away from Shinji, then I came back because of the Bastard King of all people._

Rei turns over in bed. Asuka sits up straighter peering for either red eye to open. Nothing happens. She yawns. _Did you do anything when in the core? I think Shinji did, but the walls have eyes and ears. I'll find out later._

Footsteps echo down the hall. Asuka glances out the window and waits for a face to pass by. Instead, an emotional mask covered by orange shades floats across. The asshole didn't even look inside to check on his daughter.

She counts to seven before opening the door slowly. She cranes her head out as catches him turn down a hallway. Glancing back at Shinji, the girl follows the bastard. She takes careful footsteps, not wanting to be heard. He stops; Asuka freezes. _He heard me? He has a gun on him. Will he shoot me?_

He turns and opens a door too… _Mien Gott._ Her heart skips a beat. She rushes to the door and presses her ear against it. _Commander of NERV or not, I'll get in Unit 02 and kill him if he does anything to Sakura!_

"Who are you?" _She's awake? She wasn't this afternoon. Who decided not to tell us? Shit! Gendo._ "Where's Rei?"

The distinct sound of crying tears at Asuka's battered heart.

"You have been informed that your father and brother are deceased."  
"Yes. Where's Rei?"  
"She was absorbed by Unit 01. Though free, we do not know if she has sustained physiological damage."  
"C-Can I see her, Sir?"  
"No."

That single words seems to drain any happiness the girl had with Sakura waking up. _Arschloch!_ She shakes in anger.

"Do you know how they died?"  
"Your father and brother, I do."  
"Can you tell me?"  
"You father died painlessly from an explosion caused by an Angel. I learned that your brother died in joy, for he sacrificed himself for you."

The sobbing becomes louder.

"Do not dwell on their deaths. It does not honor their lives. Keep the lives of both Suzuharas in your heart."  
"Who are you? Why are you here? Will I be sent to an orphanage away from Rei?"

She hears a faint click and a gasp.

"You're Rei's father, Commander Ikari."  
"Correct."  
"You have her eyes."  
"My eyes are not red." _The click… He set down his glasses._  
"No, they're lonely."

Asuka's heart pounds. He's Gendo. He wouldn't take off his glasses unless it gave him some tactical advantage. What the Hell is he planning?

"Why are you here?"  
"I have gained legal guardianship over you."  
"Why?"  
"Because Rei is quite fond of you. Separation would be unbeneficial."  
"Thank you."  
"Thank my daughter when you see her."

His footsteps approach the door. _Shit! Where do I hide?_ She manages three steps before the door opens. He steps out, and the door closes behind him. They stare at each other for a few seconds.

"Work on your infiltration skills, Major Sohryu."

Then, he walks down the hall. Asuka scratches her head before turning it to Sakura's room. _I'll figure this out later. Sakura comes first._

The redhead opens the door. She's greeted by a girl crying tears of pain but smiling anyway.

* * *

Hikari walks down the confusing maze of NERV's headquarters. She was summoned, and now two Section Two guards lead her down the labyrinth. She doesn't feel scared. Her Eva got destroyed. She'll be fired. Simple. At least she'll get to visit Sakura. Asuka informed her that the poor girl woke up last night.

"Hikari!"

Mari rushes towards her. She isn't smiling.

Hikari looks at the guards. "You mind if-"  
He nods and mumbles a go-ahead.

Mari stands next to her panting and clutches her elbow awkwardly.

"Hikari, I'm sorry. You gotta hit me."  
"I can't do that!" She takes a step back.  
"You gotta. Otherwise I… Please."  
"No."

She points her finger at the pigtailed teen. "Don't you understand? I failed you. I was the catalyst for all this shit going down and did nothing but fuck up since then. Hit me."  
"No."  
"Hit me!"  
"No!"  
"I killed Toji!"

The screaming stops when a slap reverberates down the halls. Hikari's hand stings from the impact. How much more does Mari's face hurt? Already, a tear slides down her cheek.

"Damn. That's a good one." She rubs the already reddening flesh.  
Tears form in Hikari's eyes as well. "Why did you say that?"  
"I deserve a lot more than a slap. This one at least has another benefit."  
"What is that?"  
"That anger will help you in fights. I talked to Rits yesterday after I consulted someone, and I got her to-"  
"Rits?"  
"The head scientist, Ritsuko Akagi. Bottle blonde."  
"Oh."  
"Convinced her to transfer Unit 03's core to 04."

She clenches her fists. "You made me become a pilot again?"  
"Yeah."  
"Why!"  
"Because the team needs a team player, not me. Sorry for hurting your feelings, but all three billion people across the damn world depend on four teenagers. You give them better odds."  
"Get away from me."

Without a word, Mari nods her head and leaves. Not once did she smile.

The guards take her to a computer lab of some sort, though Hikari hardly notices. _Why did she have to mention Toji?_ One of the guards taps her shoulder, so the girl looks up. Two women, a younger one and Doctor Akagi, type on computers. The younger one, a lieutenant looks up and gives a small nod.

"Hello, Hikari," says the younger woman. She smiles, but her tone seems sad. _I know why._  
She sighs. "I'm a pilot again, aren't I?"

"Yeah."

* * *

Misato's voice: "In the conclusion to this story arc, Asuka celebrates her birthday! The happy part might be harder to get though. At least Rei's gonna wake up. It's not a coma for Pete's sake! Also, somebody might die. Oh… As Rei still sleeps, Gendo has a conversation with Shinji. Have you been perhaps wondering what happened to Rei five years ago?"

* * *

Author's notes: _Ich werde dich niemals verlassen_ means _I will never leave you._ I'm pretty sure I worded it without sounding off this time.

I ended up putting a scene planned for this chapter later on in the story. I'm sorta surprised how "short" (compared to my previous chapters) this one turned out.

Oh my, a lot happened here. Maya Ibuki got her first scene. I'm sorta bummed I didn't get to use her more. The idealistic, hopeful technician with a crush on Ritsuko is such an interesting character to write. I think the plot went pretty straightforward. Shinji became closed off, became cold. Gendo got Asuka to get him out of the funk. Rei came out after a talk with Yui and some metaphorical mind tripping. Sakura woke up. Gendo talked to the girl. Hikari became a pilot again. Mari did confusing and mysterious stuff the entire time.

So, Gendo… You might be wondering why I suddenly did random shit with him. Trust me. It wasn't random. Heck, Gendo scene with Asuka is the first scene I had planned out pretty well in this story. That was around a hundred and forty days ago. What I like about these scenes is that they're open to interpretation. Was the Bastard King doing all of this for the sake of his scenario? Was anything out of some weird sense of kindness? There's more to Gendo too. He's such a fascinatingly complex character.

What about Mari? Well… she has her scheming too. There's a reason why she got Hikari (poor girl) to be the pilot of Unit 04 beyond what she said. I bet you already knew that though. Ug, at this point, I have basically six different factions of schemers encompassing about ten different characters. It's a lot to keep track of without spilling the beans, without making people act "out of character" even though they actually aren't, and making things interesting at the same time. Meanwhile, Shinji and Asuka just wanna live through everything.

I hope you like Rei's mind trip. I debated for a while how to do it. The way they did it in the anime seemed pretty hard for just typed words. She struggled with her doubts and fears. I also finally used that quote in my story's description. Oh, she also was in there for only a week instead of a month. It's why Asuka's birthday hasn't occurred yet.

I'll address the remaining things in this next section.

Response to Reviews:

Guest (ADeadDieHard maybe?), Mari knows, but you don't know how much she knows. I know many of you have been looking forward to Yui's meeting with Rei. I wanted a longer scene, but neither character seemed to desire a longer conversation. Rei seems to be bitter at Yui while Yui was focused on implementing her plan. Will there be more with Yui later on? Yeah.

PrometheusDark, you've been a NGE fan longer than me. While "aware" of the anime for years now, I didn't get into myself until early 2018. Me being me, I immediately started pouring over the analyses of the characters along with fanfiction. My brain must've absorbed over 3 million words related to Eva by now (which's not an exaggeration by any means). I mostly work in home renovations myself, not the fun stuff. Mostly grunt work. For now, Evangelion is the only series I've come to love, though there's quite a few on my "to watch" list still. I'm sure there's a lot of great stuff out there.

The previous chapter hurt a lot to write too. All three of my MCs had character development though. I hope all three were believable.

Unit 00… Arg! I can't say how close you are without spoilers! A lot of that will be cleared up the next chapter, but I'll just say I'm not going to do some crazily weird explanation that has nothing to do with the dozens of hints and foreshadowing I've already put in this story.

Traitor of All Traitors, well… I didn't kill Toji exactly like they did in the manga. This time, he died for a purpose, saving his sister. I think he'd gladly die over and over again to ensure his little sisters gets to see another sunrise.

I agree that Shinji becoming like Gendo is horrible. In fact, every character shares that viewpoint, even Gendo. I couldn't even bring myself to write more scenes with him in that state of mind. It was horrible to have Shinji be that way.

That scene, however, was one of the major reasons I had Shinji and Asuka share the same room. I knew Shinji would be crushed by this point in the story and close off similar to what happened to his father. I also knew that Asuka (or Rei, though his twin couldn't for obvious reasons) would be the only way to get him out. There's also other reasons too.

Poshboy, I agree with your for the anime. Unit 00's soul seems to be Rei 1's in some regard. (That doesn't necessarily mean my fanfic is the same way due to my POD.) Unit 00 is probably the Eva I'm most interested in because it's the only main one that remained mysterious. Unit 02 is Kyoko and super passive while Unit 01 is Yui and gets a bunch of scene time. Also, Unit 00 has more scenes to come in the story. I'm pretty excited over those.

Changes to canon that I find notable enough:

Shinji gets depressed and Gendo-like after Rei was absorbed.

Gendo got Asuka to comfort Shinji.

Rei leaves Unit 01 after a week instead of a month.

Sakura wakes up from her coma, and Gendo tells her he became her guardian. (That was a weird sentence to type. That sounds like something from some crappy fanfic. Hey, I got my reasons though.)

Hikari becomes the pilot of Unit 04 after 03 was scrapped.


	22. They Were Still Just Children

Chapter 21

 _What do people gain from all their labors? Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever. The sun rises and the sun sets then hurries back to where it rises. The wind blows to the south and turns to the north; round and round it goes, always returning on its course. All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again. All things are wearisome, more than one can say._

 _The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing. What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. There is nothing where one can say, "Look! This is something new." It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time. No one remembers the former generations, and even those yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow them._

 _Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless._

* * *

Asuka walks out of the room saying something about going to the bathroom. Shinji nods. He doesn't stare at his sister. Sleep is private, so watching someone sleep seems wrong…

He glances at the clock. It should be time for breakfast soon. Maybe Rei will wake by then. Sakura wants to see her. Asuka told him what happened, though it does not seem possible. In a world full of Angels, Evas, and Pen Pen… his father doing that seems impossible. _Why?_

The door opens. He knows it isn't Asuka. She gives off warmth. Now, he feels a chill.

"Father." He does not turn to face him.

His father drags a chair in front of Shinji. He drops a laptop onto the seat.

"You want to know what happened to Rei."  
Shinji at last looks at his father. The man towers over him. _He didn't ask a question. That was a statement._ "Yes."  
"Then open the laptop."

The boy can't help it. He knows that the computer is Rei's. He saw her use it before. Going through it would be invasive, and she repeatedly told him that she doesn't want to talk about… about what he'll see. Hands trembling, he opens the laptop. It shows a place to type a password.

"Ecclesiastes 7:3. That is the password."

Shinji does as he is told. He gains access to Rei's private world.

"Open the video player. Watch the footage she viewed the most."

He starts the program and scrolls to find that video. It does not take long since she has only three. The video is a few minutes long. It has the name "Security Footage, 07-09-2010". _I arrived in Tokyo-3 exactly five years later._ She viewed the footage over a thousand times. The displayed frame shows a dark room, unmistakably in the lower depths of NERV. In the darkness, one thing stands out. She looks around Sakura's age. She has brown hair, blue eyes, and a lopsided smile. It's a face he cherishes every moment of his life.

 _Rei._

She wears a red dress. Her favorite color is… was maybe, red. It was the same dress she wore the last time he saw her. He clenches his fists and stares at the scene, then he clutches his head. _I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember! I want to remember our happy times, not our last time together!_

" _Why do you always wear that silly dress, Rei?"  
She giggles. "I like it, silly. Why else would I wear it?"  
"I think it looks like blood."  
"Ew!"  
"Red is the color of blood."_

 _She punched his arm. It doesn't sting. Her punches always were in jest._

" _Plus, it makes you look like an old hag."  
"What does that mean?"_

 _He puffed out his chest. Almost always, she explained things to him, not the other way around._

" _I heard Father use it, so I looked it up in a dict… di… a big book of words all by myself. He called someone named Doctor Akagi an old hag. It means a grumpy old lady." He guessed the meaning, too lazy to look up the word. However, that woman was a grumpy of lady from what he heard, so that must be what the word means.  
Rei nods. "She is grumpy. Plus, she's mean. Even the other Doctor Akagi lady gave us a present. It was one of my best birthday presents."  
"There's two of them? I never saw one. How come you get to see all the people?"  
She shook her head. "Because you get bored and walk away before you could meet them."_

 _Shinji looked at the clock. They had to wait another hour before Father showed up. In the meantime, they stayed in some lounge. Even their sitter went to the bathroom._

" _Hey, wanna go exploring?" He motioned to the door.  
"Papa said we shouldn't."  
"But, I want to know if the rumors are true."  
"What rumors?"  
"That they built a tall robot. Maybe it is taller than Father."  
She backs away from the door. "Nuh-uh." She shook her head back and forth. Her brown hair flew around freely. "Papa wants us to stay."_

 _Shinji shrugged and walked to the door. "Then you stay."  
"Stay too."  
"Catch me if you can!"_

 _He sprinted down the hall. Behind him, he heard a pair of footsteps. "Come back! Please! Don't run away, Shinji!"_

 _He didn't look back._

Shinji clenches his eyes shut. That memory brings pain. _I don't want to remember that._

"Play the video, Shinji."

He does.

"Do you need me for something, Rei?" _She looks like Dr. Akagi. She must be Naoko Akagi.  
_ Rei steps out of the shadows. "I got lost looking for my brother." Her eyes jump around the room. Her left foot bops up and down. She clutches herself in her arms. _This was just after…_

They're in Central Dogma. He can see that now. They're also alone.

"Is that so? Do you want to come with me then?"  
"No, thanks."  
"Then how will you get home all by yourself?"  
"I can do it myself, old hag."  
"Old hag?"

The woman's face twists into a scowl.

"I will be fine, old hag."  
"You shouldn't call people that."  
"But you're an old hag, aren't you?"  
"I'm getting mad. Commander Ikari will spank you for this!"  
"But Papa is the one who called you that."

The woman marches over to Rei. She grabs his sister by the arm, hard. She gasps in pain.

"Is this why Papa doesn't kiss you anymore, old hag?"  
"Shut up, you little bitch!"  
Rei wriggles out of her grasp and glares into the woman's eyes. "I think this is why he kisses your daughter now, old hag."  
"What!"

She grabs either shoulder of the small girl and shakes her.

"What did you just say!"  
"Papa does not like you, Old Hag."  
"Shut up!" The woman no longer appears sane. Her eyes are wild. Her body trembles.  
"Old hag."

The woman's hands wrap around Rei's throat. The girl's eyes widen in terror. She tries to push away the assailant. Then, she becomes frantic. Her appendages flop around. She opens her mouth for air that does not come in.

She stops moving.

Shinji slams the laptop on the floor. It breaks in two. "That was my fault!"  
His father grabs him by the shoulders and shoves him back into his chair. "Stop."  
He does not stand, but his body trembles. "What happened?"  
"She contacted me. I came. She had already thrown herself from the platform by that point. Rei was medically dead."  
"She's alive."  
"Who did you see in Unit 00?"

He feels a wave of nausea overtake him.

"How?"  
"I did the one thing that could save my daughter."  
"But, she's right there." He points at Rei.  
"Unit 00's core was operational at that time, but it lacked a soul. Rei lacked a living body. For years, we tried to extract her." He sighs. "We were partially successful."

He sits down in a chair next to Shinji's.

"A core needs a soul. Some of it was left behind, the more pronounced emotions."  
"Will she ever-"  
"Once the final Angel is defeated, there is a way."  
"I'll do it." For the first time in the conversation, his voice sounds firm. "Anything. I'll do it for her."  
"Good."

He picks up the broken laptop and walks out the door.

"F-Father?"  
"Yes?" He does not turn around.  
"Can I get another sync test with Unit… with Rei?"  
"Perhaps."

He walks away. Shinji clutches his head and cries. _I killed Rei! Old hag… exploring… All of this is because of me. Rei, I'm so sorry._

* * *

 _Why didn't the commander tell him the entire truth?_

She raises herself into a sitting position. "I deceived you."

His heads jolts up. She feels her red eyes glistening with tears.

"If you do not wish to see me anymore, I understand."  
He shakes his head. "Why didn't you tell me, Rei?"  
"I could not… I awoke when Commander Ikari entered. You saw that she died. I am Ayanami."  
"You're my sister. That's what matters."  
"No, I am an incomplete copy, a replacement."  
"Sister, do-"  
"Do not use that word again. I have hurt you too much already." _I must cut the string. The closer we become, the more I hurt him._ "I will bring you only more pain. Leave."

 _I too must leave soon enough. He will hurt less if I am farther away._

"No."  
"Why?"  
"Do you know about the Hedgehog's Dilemma?"  
"I do not."  
"Five hedgehogs were freezing. Two became close for warmth even though their pricks drew blood. They survived while the other three died."  
"I do not understand."

Shinji sits on the bed to her left. He holds her hand.

"The closer you get to someone, the more you hurt each other. But… but, it's alright. The pain is worth the love."  
"Love?"

He squeezes her hand tighter.

"Yeah, love."

* * *

Mari sits in the chair as the technicians do their shit. In most cases, she'd babble about something pointless and humorless to everyone but herself, but this time it's different. Hikari could maybe hear her over an open microphone. That'd be bad. That girl still doesn't like her.

She whispers to the woman sitting beside her, "Hey Rits, why are you working here?"  
"That's Major Akagi to you. I'm a scientist, so I do… ah, you wouldn't understand. I do science stuff. Why do you ask?"  
"Just wondering."

On the screen, Hikari seems almost asleep in the LCL. At least her sync ratio doesn't suck.

"Have you told the commander yet, Rits?"  
"About what?" She hadn't looked at the girl once yet. _Asshole. Time to change that._  
"You're the one who runs the DNA tests. Should've been completed last night I think."

The doctor pries her eyes off the computer screen and onto Mari. _Bingo._

"That is part of my job." Her tone lowered to match Mari's whispering.  
"Does he know?"  
"About that highly disturbing aspect? No, I was about to after this test."  
"Isn't it great how I have this perfect timing?"  
"Suspicious would be a better choice."  
"How about a trade?"

The blonde glances at the others in the room. No one seems to pay attention to them.

"What kind of trade?"  
"I won't tell, and you won't tell."  
"Tell what?"

Mari smirks.

"Mommy issues."  
"I don't have any."  
"No guilt at all? Even though your affair killed R-"  
"Don't finish that sentence if you want to see another sunrise."  
"How about your crushing fear of being Yui's repla-."  
"Shut up. How much do you know?"  
"More about you than you do."

The doctor shakes her head.  
"I'll do it. I don't know why they don't torture this information out of you, but just go. I bet you could blackmail anyone here."  
"Well, it depends. Does Pen Pen's online gambling account work as blackmail?"  
"I hope that's what you teenagers call a joke."

Before the conversation could go on any longer, Mari hops off her chair. She hums her favorite tune to herself and skips out the doorway.

 _How does this song go in English? Oh yeah…_

 _It all returns to nothing, I just keep letting me down, letting me down, letting me down  
In my heart of hearts  
I know that I could never love again  
I've lost everything  
Everything  
Everything that matters to me  
Matters to this world_

She sighs. "Maybe I should learn songs that don't hit so close to home."

* * *

"Nice job." Asuka leans on her locker. She has her arms crossed and a smile plastered on her face. It's her best imitation at looking cool but relaxed at the same time. _Kaji makes it look so easy though._

"Thanks." LCL drips from Hikari's hair; tears drip from her eyes.  
"You don't look happy."  
"I'm not."

They stare at each other for a minute, waiting for the other one to make a move.

"That crap's gonna solidify. You know how to wash it out?"  
"With shampoo and water?"  
Asuka chuckles. "Come on, I'll show you."  
"But, your clothes will get w-" She covers her eyes. "Gods! Asuka put on your shirt."

She takes off the rest of her clothes anyway.

"You've seen me and all the girls in class nude. Why now?"  
"We're alone. It's not proper."  
"You swing both ways?"  
"No! Why would you ever say a thing like that?"  
"Same here. Nothing to worry about. Plus, you better get used to this. Rei has no concept of modesty, and you already told me about Mari."

Hikari opens her eyes. She slips off her plugsuit. LCL peels away from her in the peculiar state between solid and liquid.

"See? Nothing to worry about."  
The Fourth Child looks at her feet. "How's Rei?"  
"Fine. We've been practically living in Sakura's room at this point. As far as I know, poor Pen Pen has eaten nothing but Misato's cooking for way too long now."

They step into the shower together. The warm water sooths Asuka's muscles. _Let's be honest here. I smell like a stinky man right now. This has got to help._

"I'll clean my hair, and you copy me. Got it?"  
"Yeah."

As the lead pilot goes through the motions of the technique she perfected years ago, she keeps on glancing at her friend's eyes. They're bloodshot from a lack of sleep, crying, or both.

"How are you doing?"  
"I think the LCL is-"  
"No, how do you feel? How well do you sleep at night?"  
"I'm fine."  
"When's the last time you went to school?"  
"Since… um, before I ever piloted one of those monsters."

 _Slow breaths. Act calm. Make sure Hikari stays calm._

"Why do you wake up?"  
"My alarm?"  
"No, what drives you? Why get in that monster?"  
"Kensuke."  
 _The Hell?_ "Didn't expect that."

Hikari blushes as she shakes her head.

"It isn't like that! I… I don't know if I'll ever love again, if it even was love. A crush maybe. Maybe it was more. I'll never know. But." She pauses to rub tears from her eyes and some of Asuka's conditioner from her hair. _I knew she wouldn't have thought to bring any herself._ "But, Kensuke is next in line. I don't know what's going on with Mari. If I fail, he'll get inside. Even Kensuke doesn't want to pilot anymore. He told me about what the other kids say at school. Me and you, we're demons to them."

Hikari backs up to the shower's wall. She slides down into the fetal position. Asuka sits next to her friend and places a hand on her shoulder.

"Asuka, they blame us, the Eva pilots, for the deaths of our classmates."  
"What would happen if we didn't pilot, let the Angels win?"  
"I don't know. No one told me."  
"Third Impact. Everyone dies."  
"How?"  
"That's technically above my security clearance. Judging from the latest bastard, I'd say the Angels need to reach Terminal Dogma."  
"Why?"  
"Because the Angel went into our HQ, and Terminal Dogma is more secretive than Fort Knox."  
"Fort Knox?"  
"Never mind that part."

Asuka pulls Hikari up by her arm.

"All those ungrateful, stupid children would be dead if it wasn't for us. The Evas respond to your mental state. If you're feeling put-upon, then you'll sync worse. If you sync worse, then you'll pilot worse. If you pilot worse, then the Evas get destroyed. Thus, boom." _It took me a long time to realize that._  
"We don't have a choice do we? If we're selected, then we have to pilot."  
"Only if you choose to look at it that way."

* * *

Shinji likes routines. They comfort him, but he doesn't know what to think at the moment. Right now, he ends a newer routine by replacing it with one of his oldest ones.

He steps into their apartment for the first time in weeks. He feels two pairs of eyes on his back. He imagines Misato and Asuka grinning at him.

"I'm home, back home."  
"That's the spirit!" Misato slaps him on the back. "I've even kept the place tidy for you."  
"Scheisse!" A mass of red hair flies by the boy, nearly knocking him to the ground, and sprints to their bedroom.  
"What was that about, Misato?"  
"Oh, nothing." She giggles. _It's something._

He steps into the apartment, fully expecting to see a carbon copy of when he first arrived. He did change a lot since then. He's a little braver and a lot more emotionally scared. He has more nightmares, but he has his sister again. He has friends now, at least the ones that haven't died yet. He has a guardian that he actually likes. Loves? She cares about him for sure. Last but not least in any way, he also has Asuka.

His eyes open wide. The scent hits him like a ton of bricks. His jaw hangs open. "What the hell happened here?"  
"Sorry. I haven't cleaned it much this week yet."  
"No, it's… it's…"

 _Spotless._

The entire apartment is clean. It smells like lemons. Not booze. Not takeout. The metal appliances sparkle. The furniture and counters don't have any dust. Even the pillows on the sofa are fluffed.

"How did you do this, Misato?"  
She shrugs. "Since you two were away, I had time to practice my home-making skills. Plus, I wanted to see your face when you got back."  
"My face? What about Asuka's? Also, thank you."  
"Asuka? I wanted to hear her scream. Maybe feel a hug."

"Mien Gott im Himmel!" Asuka runs out of her room and hugs Misato. "Dank! Dank!"  
The woman gives a knowing smile. "Next time, you clean your room though, okay?"  
"Thank you." As if only now realizing that she's hugging he guardian, the girl backs away. "Sorry."  
"Nah, this's totally worth it."  
"But you fixed everything. Even the hole in the wall."

Shinji scratches his head. Asuka covers her mouth. "Hole in the wall?"  
Misato waives her hand. "Oh, I fell onto your wall when I was gone. Silly me." _Is she lying? I can't tell._ "I decided to fix it for you two."

Pen Pen walks by the three and into his fridge. He seems to nod a hello along the way.

"But I can think of a way for you two to thank me." _THAT tone of voice? Shit._  
"What is it?" Asuka crosses her arms.  
"Let me throw you a big birthday party."  
"Me? But… um, my birthday is in March."  
"Don't lie to me. It's two days from now."  
"Shinji?"

His friend looks at him with expecting eyes. _I guess this means I should back her up._

"Wouldn't Asuka want, uh, a more quiet day?"  
"Yeah, I would."  
Misato rubs her chin. "In that case, you can have your quiet birthday. I'll just throw the part this Sunday instead. It's a date!"  
"Misato," Asuka groans.

 _Oh, I could make her a cake! Huh, I don't know how many candles I should put on there. Fifteen maybe?_

"Hey, how old are you turning?"  
"Never ask a girl her age, baka!" She stomps her foot and crosses her eyebrows, but even he can tell she's doing everything in her power not to smile.  
"Fourteen."  
"Misato! Why! Hey… you alright, Shinji? You aren't moving."

She pokes his forehead.

"Hallo? Anyone in there?"  
"I'm older than you?"  
"Dummkopf."

* * *

"Thank you for helping me. I did not ask or require you to do so." Rei does not make eye contact with her… with Shinji. Even though his presence comforts her, it also makes her unsettled. _He knows more about me. He knows she died._

"No problem, Rei!" He marches up the stairs beside her. "Hey, at least you won't be living alone anymore."  
"Alone…"

She clenches her fist. No matter how much she tries, that feeling has not left. It is as though a glass barrier has been formed around her soul.

"I'll be sure to stop HQ to pick you up. We'll start when we go back to school tomorrow."  
"That is not necessary. When applicable, I will arrive at your apartment."  
"Oh, okay." He shrugs.

Rei opens her door, unlocked as always. It has been thirty five days since she last set foot in the building. Dust must cover all surface area. Her meager supplies of food have spoiled. Her flower… _No!_

Rei rushes through the door. Shinji follows close behind. _How could I have forgotten about my flower?_ She stops at the living room. He runs into her and they tumble to the floor.

"Sorry." He gets off her and onto his knees. He stops standing up when he notices that she has not moved. "Rei, you alright?"  
"I had not tended my flower for over a month."  
"Oh no."  
"But look."

She points to her most prized possession. The flower bursts in a deep green and a stunning blue. _It is well. How?_

Shinji walks to her plant. He picks up a folded piece of notebook paper. He unfolds it and reads, "Hey, I thought you'd want this to be alright. I ended letting myself in, but I knew you were staying at the hospital. Someone got a hold of my number and wouldn't stop texting me to do this. Don't thank me. Thank whoever has the phone number at the bottom. Your friend, Kensuke."  
"Friend?"  
Shinji smiles. "Yeah, he's your friend. I am. Asuka is. Hikari is. Sakura is. Just like me, we still would be your friends no matter your past."

Rei stands and brushes her outfit off.

"We should pack. Section two placed boxes in my closet. For your sake, I will handle my clothes. May you pack my utensils and dishes?"  
"Sure. Anything for my sister."  
"Please, do not use that word."  
"It doesn't matter. You know what? Damn the specifics. You're my sister."  
Rei looks at her floor. "Why?"

He walks up to her and places each of his hands on her shoulders. She looks up and she feels his warmth.

"Because Ayanami is as much as my family as Ikari."  
"We should not stall if we wish to arrive in time for the party."  
"Oh." He looks down, believing that his words had no effect. "Sure, Rei."

His shoulders slouch. His hands drop to his sides.

"Also… brother."  
He straightens immediately and his eyes glisten. "Yes?"  
"Thank you."  
He hugs her. "No, thank you."

On the floor, Rei sees Kensuke's note. She can make out the phone number at the bottom. Her eyes narrow.

 _How did pilot Makinami know about my flower?_

* * *

Asuka watches as Hikari completes yet another sync test. Her numbers have risen, but she's still kilometers away from even Rei's sync ratio. _She needs to be backup… Well, I guess she needs to be even further back. She'll be the backup's backup. Really, if an Angel takes down me and Shinji, then Rei and Hikari don't stand a chance._ She shakes her head. _Damn. That was cold. I trust that my wingmen would have my back no matter what._

The redhead taps her foot. _When this's over, we can head back home. Then, it's nothing but celebration and cake… not that I'd want any of that anyway. I'm a Major. Hell, I'm fourteen. I don't do those kinda things anymore… but I wonder what cake Shinji made. He wouldn't say._

A door whisks open. Asuka turns her head and sees a flash of white skin and makes eye contact with two blue orbs. The figure backs away immediately. The door closes behind her. _Like Hell I'll let you avoid me._

Asuka rushes to the exit. As it slides open, she sees a plaid green skirt turn a corner. The girl speeds up to a sprint. She rounds a corner only to see her prey turn into another room. The lead pilot barrels behind her but stops immediately.

"Hey, Princess."

Mari fidgets with the controls, trying to make it give a drink. They're surrounded by seats and other vending machines. This must be one of those technician lounges.

"Princess?"  
"Yeah."

 _She hasn't made eye contact with me once yet. No one is that interested in what soda they'll want to drink._

She clears her throat. "How long were you planning on avoiding your lead pilot?"  
She shrugs. "Wasn't aware that we had a scheduled meeting. Plus, I'm not exactly a pilot right now anyway." She punches in a code for a drink.  
She tries to emulate Misato's angry soldier glare. "It has been a month since you arrived. You talked to Shinji, Hikari, and Rei. Not me? Heck, most of us have only seen you once. Where's your guards anyway?"  
"I think they're bumbling at the lower levels. It's so easy to give them the slip." She inserts the required Yen.  
"Despite my reputation, I won't bite you head off."  
"I bet you bite down on Shinji's head all the time." She chuckles as a can of soda comes tumbling down.  
"I do not. We get along these days."  
"Good."

Mari faces her, but her eyes are transfixed on the soda. With a crack, she opens the lid and takes a sip.

"You're my favorite, Asuka."  
"What?"  
"I gobbled down what little info I could get on you. You know, you're the only pilot with major amounts of pre-war training."  
"Of course I know that."

The American's pilot takes a seat. "Miss your family much?" _We're talking about family now? Okay._  
"Nope. I made a new one over here."  
"Got a mom or a dad?"  
"Stepmom and a bastard respectively."  
"Lucky."  
"I don't see how-"

Mari wags her finger and finally looks at her. The girl's eyes look… tired. There's rings around them both. They're also scared, wide… like a child's? They dart back and forth. Though, she still wears that playful grin, a mask.

"I lost 'em both a long time ago. Never got to hold a meaningful conversation with either. I always wondered how it'd be to talk to my mom. Do you, with your stepmom?"  
"No."  
"Try it sometime. Anyway, you better get going. Hikari should be done any minute."  
"Okay."

Asuka stands up and stretches.

"Hey, Princess?"  
"What is it now?"  
She smiles. "Happy birthday."

* * *

"Baka." She shakes her head and crosses her arms. _Shit! Did I not do this correctly?_

"Sorry."  
"What did I say about apologizing?" Now, she's pissed. Her lips went from playful into a scowl.  
 _Think fast!_ "Um…" _I didn't think fast enough._

With her fork, she pokes at the cake he made for her. Over the past two day, he spent every free moment he had ensuring he'd get this recipe perfect. Misato went out on constant grocery missions. Kensuke scoured the web and books for the cake's nuances and details. Hikari helped to cook which's good. It seems to be one of the few moments where he sees her smile after… that incident.

 _What did I do wrong?_

"Do you know the name of this cake?" She raises her eyebrow as she takes another jab at the sponge cake.  
"Frankfurter Kranz."  
"And where was I stationed before you met me?" She leads him on with each question, but where is she leading him to?  
"Uh, Germany."  
"Where in Germany?"  
"Berlin?"  
"And where does Frankfurter Kranz come from?"  
"Germany."

She shakes her head. Shinji's eyes widen in terror. She sets her fork on the table. Every eye at the party rests on the roommates.

"It's from Frankfurt."

Without warning, she takes the cake in her hands and shoves it into his face. It blinds him. The sponge cake, the butter cream icing, the strawberries, and the toasted almonds… so many hours of work. It covers his face. The sweet taste of icing enters his mouth.

He backs away and coughs, but two strong hands pulls him back. _I ruined her birthday and her party!_

The two hands wrap around his torso. Her body presses into his.

"Dank, mien Freund," she whispers into his ear. Then, she burst out laughing. Only now does he realize that four other voices join in the jubilee. He wipes the icing away from his eye. The site brings a smile to his lips, a matching pair with Asuka's.

Misato laughs without restraint, leaning against a wall for support. Kaji chuckles while giving him a thumbs up. Hikari covers her mouth and blushes, but he can hear her giggles anyway. Kensuke mumbles something about blackmail while snapping photo after photo of Shinji's predicament.

Rei, meanwhile, stares at her brother. Her head is cocked to her side. She looks from him to Asuka and back again. He nods in her direction. Either giving up on understanding his situation or finally grasping it, she turns to the cake and takes a slice for herself.

Asuka lets go of him. "Follow Wondergirl's lead and take a slice." She wipes his face off with a napkin. "Wanna say anything, baka?"  
"I could get you another piece."  
She shakes her head. "Nah, I'd get fat."  
"But…"  
"I'll eat one later. I promise."  
"Okay."  
"What about you? Shouldn't the master chef get to sample his work too?"  
He smiles… a Kaji smile. He finally figured out how to do those perfectly. "I'll eat one later. I promise."

Asuka's eyes light up.

"You did not just use my words against me."  
"I did, um…" _I think I'm about to get myself killed. It'll be worth it though._ "Baka."

She gives him an evil smile. Shinji runs. Squeezing between Kaji and Misato, he makes a mad dash for the door. Something trips his feet, and go goes tumbling to the ground. Due to his training, he catches himself and rolls onto his back. A mere second before the fiery redhead pounces on him, he spies Kensuke casually lowering his outstretched leg back to the ground. _Traitor._

A flurry of punches and slaps rain down on the teen. He tries to block them with his arm, but his unceasing laughter makes that difficult. It's not like she's doing it hard anyway. Plus, this is the happiest he's seen her in a month. He'd face all the Angels again alone to see her like this. He doesn't know how long it lasts. Maybe a minute. Maybe ten. It doesn't matter. They're hot and sweaty by the time she dismounts him. _Shit. Misato's language is rubbing off on me._

He glances at the others. They intently talk among themselves, most likely to give them privacy. _That's either very polite or very weird._ Well, except Rei. She stares at them with her head cocked to the side. As they lie panting on the floor, she strides up to them and kneels down.

"May I ask you both a question?" She keeps her voice low. _If Rei knows she has to be quiet to ask this question, then… Oh no._  
"Sure," says Asuka between breaths.  
"Is the process in which you two went-"  
"What process?" The redhead blows a free stand of hair away from her left eye.  
"Hand feeding your partner cake and foreplay on the floor. Is that considered courtship?"

 _Oh. My. Gods._

Shinji freezes. Asuka merely takes hold of Shinji's hand. Rei nods.

"Shall I tell the others to give you presents now that they have finished eating and stare intently at you both?"  
"Sure?" She squeezes his hand even more.  
"I will inform the others. Also, I…" Rei blushes. "I feel… I feel glad for you both."

She stands up and walks to the crowd.

"Didn't you get me a present, Shinji?"  
"Yeah." The other five all move to pick up their gifts.  
"Aren't you gonna grab it?" She sits up.  
"I'll give it tonight."  
She chuckles. "That sounds perverse."  
He shakes his head. _Misato is rubbing off on both of us._ "It isn't. Trust me."

His friend nods before skipping over to the table. Five present from five important people in her life sit. Well, maybe Kensuke isn't, but he gave her something. Who invited him anyway? It's not as if Shinji doesn't want his last male friend around, but Asuka isn't exactly on good terms with, as she'd call him, the nerd. She'd like him more when he tells her about how he watered Rei's flower, but… Misato must've been the one to invite him.

She grabs one, Hikari's no doubt. She'd be the only one to use a pink bow. His friend tears off the wrapping paper. It's some kinda girly thing, but the gift doesn't receive his attention. Asuka's blush and smile… that's what he looks at. He stares at it intently, trying to save it in his memories forever. He'll have so many horrible ones from his time as an Eva pilot. This one… just a teenage girl opening up her birthday presents… that's what he wants to keep in his mind.

After giving Hikari a quick hug and thanks, the redhead pounces on her next target. This one has to be Misato's. Only she'd wrap the present in tin foil. Asuka pokes the shiny metal a few times before looking at her guardian. The woman shrugs.

She tears off the poor choice in wrapping. She tenses and covers her mouth. The single present was, in fact, two. One box shows a hand-held mirror. The other, a hair dryer. _What?_

"I thought you'd want some upgrades. Your other ones seemed too old."

Asuka hangs her head low for a moment, then she straightens her shoulders and lifts her head up. "Thanks." She gives a warm smile.  
"I'm here for anything."

She sets down the toiletries and picks up a small gift bag. Since the remaining two are an envelope and a small box wrapped in blue, this's probably Kensuke's. She takes out a small frame from the bag and freezes. She doesn't blink.

Shinji stands next to her and places his hand on her shoulder. "Are you al-"

He sees the photo. All of them smile. Asuka smiles. Rei gave a phantom of a smile. Hikari smiles. He smiles. Kensuke smiles… And… and… Toji smiles.

"I, uh." The boy adjusts his glasses. "This's the only photo I ever took with all six of us. I thought you'd want to have a copy, Asuka."  
Her lips tremble, but only Shinji can see it.  
The normally cheery boy sounds somber. _I don't like it when he sounds that way._ "I knew Toji better than anyone in this room. Sorry, Hikari."  
"No, he was your best friend."  
"He didn't hate you or even dislike you. He enjoyed having arguments with you. He respected you for your service as an Eva pilot. He also knew how much you wanted to help Shinji. I think that's what he liked about you the most… your compassionate side. He'd never blame you for what happened, Asuka. He'd only blame you for making it drag you down."

The room becomes silent for a moment. Asuka sets down the picture for all to see. She takes a deep breath of air.

"You rehearsed that, didn't you?"  
"I did."  
"Nerd… Kensuke, thank you."  
He beams with happiness. "Sure thing, Red D- Uh, Asuka."

She turns back to the table, holding only two presents. She takes Rei's and unwraps it. His sister's hand twitches. Shinji hides his smile. He helped her wrap the present after all. He can't hide the tear from sliding down his cheek though.

Asuka opens the cardboard box and takes out the single item inside. With great care not to harm it, she inspects the blue flower.

"It is from my flower." She keeps a blank expression.  
"Wondergirl."  
"Yes?"  
Asuka studies the gift in her hand. "I'm sorry for ever thinking that you were emotionless, uninterested in others, or a doll. You're one of the kindest people I'll ever meet."

She gently set the flower down on the table and walks to Rei. She tilts her head, confused as to what the lead pilot plans on doing. She hugs her. Rei blushes.

"Thank you"

Rei looks at Shinji for what she should do. He motions for her to hug their friend back. She does.

He glares at Kensuke. Shuddering at the gaze, he puts away his camera instead of taking photos. This will remain a private moment. There's no need for photos, since everything will be kept in his heart. _Father's words._ Shinji's eyes open. _This is what he meant… I… I understand what he means now. Beautiful things can't be kept on a photo, only in my heart._

Asuka had already picked up Kaji's present, an envelope.

The man clears his throat. "This's actually from both me and Misato." He reaches out and holds hands with their guardian. _Thank the gods Asuka isn't infatuated with him anymore._ "Let's just say this took a lot of work… a months. We'd have done it for Shinji too, but we had some, er, roadblocks."

 _Huh, what is he even talking about?_

Asuka nods and picks up the envelope.

* * *

 _What's in here?_ She opens the top and slides out the paper. _It looks legal… Was zur Holle. Why is it in German?_

Before the can scan the document for its meaning, Kaji interrupts her train of thoughts. "All you have to do it sign your name at the bottom."

That's when she sees the phrase and the name. _Ständige Vormundschaft. Major Misato Katsuragi._

She closes her eyes and sniffles. Then, she sets the paper down on the table and covers her face with her hands. _They can't see me cry!_

She sprints out the door. She doesn't know her destination, but that doesn't matter. Right now, anywhere but the apartment seems more appealing. Tears fall down her cheeks.

The teen stops running at some bench. She sits down and puts all of her focus on controlling her breathing.

"I pretty much forced Shinji to stay behind." The girl looks up. Kaji sits next to her, gasping for breath and smiling. "But it's alright. Misato and I were pretty sure this'd what you'd do."  
"Why?"  
"Why'd we know?"  
"No, why did you go through all that trouble for me?"

He stops smiling and instead gives a serious look, one Asuka never seen him use before.

"Tell me, if today was your last day alive, who'd you spend it with? Your father in Germany or us?"  
"All of you of course."  
"That's exactly why we gave you this choice. You three aren't exactly the picture of a perfect family, but it's the best one you've ever got. Misato and I thought you'd want to stay if given the chance. Now, you do."  
"Will I have to change Sohryu to Katsuragi?"  
He laughs. "No, though I don't think you'd mind dropping the Langley."  
She smiles. "You're right. I wouldn't."

He sighs.

"I also wanted to do this because… Well, I'm not exactly just a UN inspector."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"NERV holds all four of the remaining Evas. You don't think everyone else is fine with that do you?"  
"Kaji?"  
"You know a little about SEELE, right?"  
"They're the UN group that gives the funding to NERV, right?"  
"Sorta. They also happen to be building twelve other Evas this very moment."  
"Isn't that a good thing?"  
"All twelve with be kept by SEELE."

 _Oh._ She nods slowly.

"SEELE has something big they're gonna do after the final Angel, three to go, is killed. Gendo has a lot of stuff I haven't been able to crack yet, including Rei." _Does he mean the whole "twin" thing?_ "I know for a fact that she knows more about Angels, Evas, and NERV than just about anyone in the world." _What are you talking about?_ "Tell me… Can I trust Rei?"  
"With your life."  
"Even the one that isn't Rei?"

Asuka tenses. She remembers the incident… where she almost died inside that Angel. She talked to someone or something using Rei's form, but it was not the girl she knew.

"Ah, so you've seen her too. I think Hikari has after the battle with Bardiel. Rei's too good at keeping secrets for me to find out. How about Shinji?"  
"He mentioned something similar one night."  
"So we've got another player in this game of chess. This's so much fun… Asuka…"

He holds her hand.

"There are many things in life I never expected to have. I never expected to have a second chance with Misato, but look where we're at now. I never thought I'd talk to a freaky doppelganger, but we both did." He kisses her forehead. "I'm sorry for not being here for you more often. You'll hear that I died tomorrow. I'll try to make that a false report, but you won't be seeing much of me for quite some time. I never thought I'd have a daughter, but I promise that I'll do everything I can to walk you down the wedding aisle."

Asuka breaks down in tears again. Kaji comforts her. They were there another fifteen minutes until they walked back to the apartment. She signed that paper without hesitation.

* * *

Rei closes the apartment door. As she walks away, she hears the faint sound of a cello playing an old piece. What was it? Ode to Joy. She smiles, imagining her brother performing the piece for his… undefined yet significant acquaintance.

She takes the elevator down and enters the Section 2 car. The woman driving says nothing as they wind through the darkened streets of Tokyo-3. Instead of going to her old home, the driver takes the First Child to the GeoFront.

When they arrive, Rei opens the door and exits the vehicle.

"Thank you for the ride." She bows.  
The driver raises her eyebrows. "You're welcome?"  
"I apologize for not expressing gratitude more often. I intend to do so for future occasions."  
"Anytime, kid." The woman gives her a nod. "Good to see someone appreciates us…"  
"Do you wish to say something else?"  
"I heard you got the Commander's ear."  
"No, they have not been removed."

The driver snickers.

"I guess the rumors are true. Japanese your second language?"  
"No, it is my first language of four."  
"Shit. Dang, I mean shoot." She shakes her head. "Anyway, put in a good word for us if he ever mentions us to you maybe? Our feet have been dangling above hot coals ever since that Mari kid showed up. Even now, fifty agents are running o'er everywhere lookin' for her. She's a slippery one."  
"I will do as you asked if given the opportunity."  
The driver gives a warm smile. "Thanks, Lieutenant Ayanami!"  
"You are welcome."

Rei descends into the giant sphere. Since Sakura should be asleep at the moment, she does not wish to disturb her. She walks to her new home. She and… and her brother saw it once already. This one has paint on the walls; furthermore, the walls have drywall. It qualifies as a normal space to make a home. This time, she will keep it in pristine condition since it has two bedrooms.

She took the smaller one, unused to have a room devoted to sleeping and unwilling to take the larger space. She leaves that one for Sakura when the doctors release her. They said it may be tomorrow. Perhaps she could ask her… her… Rei clenches her fists. _My sister. I will ask my sister if she desires to choose paint for her room._

Just as Rei steps into the living quarter's section of the GeoFront, a largely empty portion that houses just a few individuals, she hears a whistle. Turning her head, she sees the one who causes the Section 2 agents so much trouble.

"Good evening, former pilot Makinami."  
"Hi to you too, Blue." She skips towards Rei until she stands beside her. "New home?" She points at the door leading to that section.  
"Affirmative."  
"Cool. Maybe we'll be neighbors! Which one's yours?"  
"I will show you."

Rei opens the door and walks down the white hall. Similar to an apartment complex, entrances to living quarters rests on either side. Rei stops at a door marked with a _3_.

"This is my room."  
"Groovy!" She points to the one with a _23_. "That one's mine. I'll be on the other side of the hall, so maybe we can leave our door open and see what the other one's doing."  
"That seems like a violation of privacy."  
"Only if you don't wanna."  
"I do not desire to do such as action."  
"Fine…"

 _Perhaps this is a wise moment to address the Section 2 agent's qualms._

"Could you also refrain from evading your guards."  
"Nah, not unless you want me to feel bad."  
"That does not make sense to me."  
"Meh." She shrugs.

"I have one other thing to say."  
"Yeah, sure thing, Blue!"  
"How did you know about my flower?"  
She gives a smile, much like Mister Kaji's. "My guardian angel wanted to keep it alive. Good angels love flowers; the bad ones try to blow up the world, right?"  
Rei's fists clenches. "I suppose you are right…"  
"Well, g'night! See you in the morning, neighbor."  
"Perhaps we will."

Mari enters her room and shuts the door. Her room appeared to be a mess. Clothes were on the floor. Empty pizza boxes littered the counters. An unpleasant stench met her nostrils as well.

Rei shakes her head and unlocks her door, another new habit for the benefit of Sakura. She closes the door behind her. The door was to the right of Commander Ikari's personal quarters.

* * *

Asuka clutches Shinji with all her might. She cries, but it's alright. He weeps with her. They hear Misato open a can of beer in the kitchen. They can't be out there, as if hiding does any good. They're like children, hiding in a dark corner of their bedroom pretending that hiding from reality will solve anything. Tomorrow, they'll act as adults. Tonight, they'll cry.

He hears a beep. She must've played the message finally, the last member of the household who hasn't. Asuka wanted to hear it immediately, so he sat there with her… The news hurt her, hurt her so much. Those words… maybe they did something for her. Maybe they'll do something for Misato too. Of the three of them, Shinji was the least closest to him. How much more does Asuka and Misato hurt?

"Katsuragi, it's me."

Shinji closes his eyes tighter. Asuka crying becomes sobbing once again.

"I'm sure you're listening to this message after, well, after you probably heard about it. I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble. I still think this was the best course of action, and I'm sure you'll still have a guardian angel looking over you and… and your kids. Please tell Rits I'm sorry too. There's one more thing I'll ask of you. I've been growing some melons. They should be ripe. Get some before Mari eats them all. Shinji knows where they are."

 _I remember the watermelon patch. Would he approve of how I was acting?_

"Go forward. Move ahead. Don't let this drag you down when everyone needs you so much. If I ever see you again, I'll say the words I could not say eight years ago. I'll say _I love you_ in person. Shinji, take care of Misato and Asuka. You're the man of the house now whether you like it or not. Don't let them down… Asuka."

His dearest friend buries her head into his shoulder.

"Asuka… I still intend to keep that promise."

Only the sounds of three people crying remains. _Why? Why did this happen?_

"Shinji?"  
 _That's the first thing she said since hearing the news._ "Yes?"  
"I believe him."

* * *

Misato's voice: "Goodbye, Kaji. Goodbye, my love… Damn it! Why'd you have to die!"

* * *

Author's notes: Sorry about the delay in updating. As compensation, this's by far the longest chapter yet. I'll keep this section shorter as a result.

Okay onto what I wrote. It had some dark moments… like child murder… but I also had some super sweet parts. Um, those might be the last you'll see of that for a very long time. The "everything goes to shit" arc is next.

Now, you know some more on Rei. I decided to keep it close to the anime but at the same time made it connect a lot more to Shinji. I'm a little iffy about Naoko's portrayal. In essence, she was almost like a plot device. Unlike the anime, I wasn't able to flesh out her character at all due to POV restrictions.

Also, Unit 00 is Rei too. You might've been able to guess that already though. The girl from the bench was (for lack of better words and to differentiate character) Rei Ikari. Still Rei, just the more emotional side of her. To put it in Freudian terms, she's her ID.

Other things… Asuka had a birthday party. I bet you know what happened with Asuka. It went unexpectedly cute probably because I knew this was my last chance for a while.

Mari did secret stuff as you've seen. Maybe you can deduce more about her now? I can't comment more. I'm trying really hard not to give away spoilers here.

Kaji. Is he dead? He's Kaji, of course we wouldn't know for sure (except for me). I pretty much needed him out of the picture though for the same reasons as the anime. He was a stabilizing influence on Asuka, Misato, and Shinji. Without him, it was much easier for them to fall. Rei, the only one unaffected, was instead killed. Still, he got a very sweet moment with Asuka.

Well, that's about all. Hopefully, I'm making sense here since I probably should eaten more over the past two days. Oh, are you wondering about the internal monologue at the start? It was one of the characters, but it was also from Ecclesiastes. I thought it was pretty sitting for Evangelion's themes.

Replies to comments:

PrometheusDark, I was also picturing Shinji as a mini-me of Gendo. It was interesting to write him that way. My Gendo is your favorite now? Thank you. That means a lot to me.

In some ways, I'm writing this story as a whodunit tale. There's so many schemes and groups of schemers that I have to be really careful not to spoil anything or write a character that acts too far OOC (though makes sense to me since I know the personal motivations). This chapter had a lot of it. Poor Kaji only knows/knew about a few players. Also yes, the spy and whatever the Hell Train Car Rei is did speak. Kaji was telling the truth. What did they talk about though?

Also… why'd you have to name-drop so many shows? I ended up binging Elfen Lied and absolutely loved it (even though it caused me to not finish this chapter sooner). Violence doesn't bother me if it's there for a purpose. In that case, it had one. Also… let's just say that show happened to tonally match some stuff I have in store.

Thank you for being an amazing reviewer!

ADeadDieHard, Sakura has been one of the most "different" characters of this story. Sorta like Mari, she has allowed me to have other characters be placed in situations they wouldn't be in otherwise. I always look forward to writing scenes with the ever-positive Rei-adoring little girl. Her name translates to _cherry blossom_ which's a fitting meaning. Cherry blossoms are always among the first things to give beauty and life after the dead of winter.

And some people might've died. The original Rei "died". Kaji may have died.

Is Yui deluded though? Keep in mind, when she went into Unit 01, SEELE looked like they were the only major player in terms of Instrumentality. Trying to orchestrate a hijacking of their plans to give humanity a chance to return to the world could be considered the "least worst" option in her opinion. The interesting thing about the different schemers is that each thinks theirs is the best option (even SELLE, but they're selfish genocidal maniacs who nobody likes or wants to succeed).

Lautaro94, one of my favorite things about writing Gendo is his ambiguity. Did he place Rei next to his room in order to be closer to his daughter or to be closer to his tool for instrumentality? Things like that. Nonetheless, I think we'll get a good look into his motives at the end. I'm very excited over Gendo's defining moment.

Mari… maybe this chapter cleared up her past maybe a little bit more. I can say Yui has more to do in the story.

Traitor of All Traitors, I won't kill SEELE or Section 2 people (yet) for that exact reason. No one cares about them. I want to cause any deaths in this story to have a meaning behind it instead of a simply putting in some gore or increasing the death count.

If Kaji died, then it was for different reasons than the anime. He died there because he couldn't give up his pursuit of the truth. If he died here, it was because he was willing to sacrifice himself to protect those he loves. I tried to imply that in the story. Hopefully, that message got across.

Notable things that happened outside of canon:

Shinji learned more about Rei's past.

Hikari continued training for her piloting.

Shinji and Rei, despite some rockiness, manage to keep their close bond.

Misato fixes Asuka's destroyed part of the room, buys her replacements for her broken items, and makes her a permanent part of the Katsuragi household.

Rei (soon to have a little roommate) moves out of her apartment and into the GeoFront. She's (unfortunately for her) neighbors with Mari.

Kaji maybe didn't die.

* * *

Gonna be completely honest with you. The next few chapter are going to be really hard to write. I don't want to see any of these characters suffer, but... Arael is coming either way. I feel so horrible for Asuka. I've been preparing her for this moment from the beginning with her. She'll need it.

As you can tell from this chapter's publish date, time has been sorta thin. The next chapter will come out soonish, but it probably won't be a perfect week for now. So, uh, follow this story... yeah. For your sake... and not my fondness over having lots of followers. Thank you for your reviews and favorites as well!


	23. At Least, Be Human

Chapter 22

 _Family… That is a word that… I used to be afraid of that. Not the word, the concept attached to it. I get born, then two old people raise me just because I've got half their DNA respectively. There's no test for qualification. There's no mandatory course for raising a kid. People simply do it. Some parent great; others don't._

 _I remember my mama. She was so pretty. I used to think I wanted to be like her when I grow up. That was before she tried to strangle me to death. That was before she thought a damn doll was her daughter. That was before she killed herself._

 _I thought the family chapter of my life ended. The Great Asuka Langley Sohryu will live on her own! She doesn't need anyone! She won't love anyone ever again! What a fool I was. I don't think I'll ever be happier about being so wrong._

* * *

Her eyes shoot open. She feels her pajamas stick to her wet body. Her chest thumps like a drum. She clutches Shinji even tighter.

"Ow." He wakes up too. A look of annoyance quickly turns to sympathy. "Another bad dream?"  
"Her again," she whispers. "Why have I been having so many now?"  
"That's a rhetorical question, right?"  
"Yeah."

She looks at the ceiling.

"I've lost my mother. I lost my asshole father. I lost Kaji… I think. I don't wanna lose anymore."  
"You won't lose Misato."  
"Who'll be next, Shinji? Tell me. Who'll be the next one to suffer? Toji died. Misato lost Kaji. Kensuke lost his best friend. Hikari was helpless as she killed her boyfriend. Sakura lost her God dammed legs. Rei… Well, you told me what happened. Do you know who that leaves? Me and you. One of us will be next. Will you watch me die? Will I see you descend into insanity? Maybe you'll go insane in the Eva again, but this time you kill someone. Maybe you'll kill someone without snapping. It'll-"

He covers her mouth.

"That's enough."  
She tears his hand away from her. "Why? It's math and probability. Everyone. EVERYONE connected to the Evas has suffered horribly recently. We got it the least… even though we both suffered more than most do in their lifetime. We're next, Shinji. I can feel it."  
"We'll make it through, together."  
"What'll the next Angel be? Leliel, Bardiel, Zeruel… Each one got worse. Each one was so different. I'm the Lead Pilot. I have the burden of keeping everyone alive, but I don't know if the next Angel will be. We can't prepare. We only can wait. I hate waiting. I h-"

Asuka can't speak anymore. Something covers her mouth again, but this time she doesn't push it away. It only last for a second, but she could've sworn it was a minute. His lips then pull away from hers.

"Baka. We agreed to wait."  
"You said you hate waiting. I thought maybe you'd-"  
"Yeah, I'm no longer worried. That's been replaced by a crippling amount of butterflies in my stomach thanks to you."  
"Sor… Uh, I apologize."  
"That means _sorry_ as well. Only kiss a girl who gives you permission anyway."  
"I thought it would help and-"  
"Just ask next time, okay?"

* * *

Shinji eats with his two housemates. Like their last few dinners, this one is quiet. He doesn't like it, but what can they talk about? The weather? It's always hot. School? They have only just started again. People? People are dead, dying, or suffering. _What a jubilee this is._

Oh, the phone is ringing… He notices Asuka clench the table. She associates Kaji's memory with phones. He noticed that. This sound isn't helping matters any.

"I'll get it."  
"Hurry up." The redhead cracks a small smile.

He picks up the phone. "Yes, hello?" Maybe it's… He doesn't know anyone who'd talk to him who doesn't already have his number. Oh, it could be Dr. Akagi.

"Is this the Katsuragi residence?" _Holy shit, that's the thickest German accent I've ever heard. Well, this's only the second one, but damn. Asuka has almost no accent in comparison._  
"Yes."  
"May I speak to Asuka?"  
"Yeah, who are you?"  
"I'm her mother."

Shinji clenches the phone. If he had the strength, he'd crush it like he crushes Angels. This woman, this god damned, fucking bitch hurt his friend. She scarred her. She had sex with Asuka's father even as her mother descended into insanity. _Go to hell, slut._

He holds out the phone, both for Asuka to take and to move it away from him.

"It's your step-mom. Can I hang up?"  
She shakes her head. "No, I thought she would've called sooner though."

She takes the phone. Shinji holds her hand… um, for support. Not any other reason…

"Hello, Misses Langley." _And that was a lot of venom in her tone._

"No, I'll be using Japanese."

"German isn't even my original language." _What the hell? It isn't?_ "I'm using the language of my home." He smiles… _Our home._

"Yes, I'll be staying here. Forever."

"My grades are fine. Boys were a bit of trouble, but we got it fixed."

"We? Oh, it was two of my friends who helped out a lot. Hikari was one. She was Class Rep at the time. She's now the newest pilot. The other is the man who answered the phone." _Man? Me?_

"Nah, we aren't a thing, um…" Her fingers wrap around his tighter. "Well, not until Shinji and I win." _Her tone shifted to a more conversational one. I think that's good?_

"Well, I appreciate the thought."

"I'll ask him." She pulls the phone away from her cheek. "You wanna talk to her? She's being nice, so don't be an ass."

He nods.

"Okay, he's fine with that, and… um…" Her face reddens. "I apologize for being such a pain before. I never gave you a chance… not that I think you deserved one anyway."

She hands him the phone. _So, am I not supposed to hate her now?_

"Hello." _Her step-mom lost her confidence from when she spoke to me last._ "You're the… man… who helped Asuka."  
"She did it herself."  
"You have my dearest gratitude for… I never knew how to treat her. If she ever visits Germany again… I would enjoy trading stories with both of you."  
"I'll keep that in mind."  
"Goodbye."  
"Bye."

She hangs up the phone, so he puts it back down. Out of the corner of his eye, Misato has her elbows on the table and watches her wards. He smiles at her and she smiles back.

"Shinji?" He turns his attention to his friend.  
"Yeah?"  
"That was really weird."  
"Yeah."

The evening drags on until it turns to night. They do their routines for the sake of artificial normalcy, yet none of them know how to make it natural. At least, Shinji doesn't. Everything he does seems forced in some way, as if his entire being wants to hide in his room. He can't do that. Rei needs him. Misato needs him. Kensuke, Hikari, Mari, and Sakura need him. Asuka needs him. He doesn't have that option. It's too bad this one seems… insincere. He wants to comfort her, but he… He doesn't want to put on a show. It needs to be real. Until he knows it'll be real, he has to settle for more artificial normalcy.

He stares at the ceiling. Asuka must be finishing up her bath. They're about thirty minutes, so she should come out soon. _And get those images out of your head, Shinji! Be polite!_ He pinches himself. She's still a friend, one who he kissed but a friend. They need friends right now, not lovers.

The door slides open. Asuka walks in, wearing only her underwear. _That's not helping matters, Asuka! You stopped flirting a while ago._ She slips under the covers. Her foot pokes his. Then, she kicks him hard enough to make him jump.

"What was that for?" He rubs his shin while trying not to brush up against her.  
"I needed you totally awake."  
"Why?"  
"You remember how I said Rei must really trust you reveal her lack of periods?"  
 _What's going on? Why mentioned that?_ "Yeah?"  
"I'm on."  
"On wha- Oh, you're…"  
"Yup."

She strokes the side of his face.

"You're so flustered looking."  
"Can I do anything to help?"  
"Yeah, do exactly what you've been doing."  
"Um."  
"Hold my hand and never let go."  
"Sure."

* * *

Rei looks at the other three pilots. Former pilot Makinami stands on the other side of the door believing herself to be unknown to the four inside. She is mistaken, since Rei has noticed.

"Alright, that's all. Dismissed. You get the process by now. Oh, and Hikari?"  
"Yes, Captain?"  
"I said dismissed. We can cut the formal crap now."  
"Oh, what is it?"  
The redhead smiles. "Congrats on beating your sync record again today. A fifty is nice."  
"Thanks."

Her brother says a farewell and leaves followed closely by Hikari. Rei tilts her head. For the past three pilot meetings, an idea concocted by Major Katsuragi, Asuka and Shinji left together. Now, they do not.

"Wondering about him, Wondergirl?"  
"Yes."  
"Something with Kensuke. Guy stuff I guess. He's surrounded by girls and women all the time anyway. He needs some dude time."  
"Do you need female time by comparison?"  
"Rei, four out of the five pilots, the operations director, the chief science officer, and the bridge officer who talks to us the most are all females. I got my girl time covered."  
"Oh."  
"I can still walk you to your room."

Rei's eyes widen.

"How did you know tha-"  
"Psychology. You asked a question you already knew the answer to. You wanted me to ask you the same thing."  
"I understand why you already graduated from college."  
"It's just an associate's degree. Anyway, let's go."

They walk side by side. Their feet create two pairs of tapping. They step into an elevator together since Rei's new apartment rests on a lower floor. Asuka leans against one of the four walls and tries to mask her grimaces of pain. Rei stares at the door, but she almost senses her friend's discomfort. _Sympathy? Empathy? What is this feeling of understanding when I have never experienced it myself?_

"You bleed." Rei hears a slight gasp.  
"Don't tell me you smell it."  
"No, but you are suffering from cramps."  
"I do. You got the better end of the bargain, Rei. You aren't a guy, yet you don't have to deal with this monthly shitfest."

Rei shakes her head. She does not turn around though. It seems too difficult at the moment.

"You are blessed. You have the gift of life. Flesh of your flesh will live on even after you pass away. You can make life; I can only take it."

The elevator becomes even quieter. Rei waits for a response. She hears a response with a far different tone than what Asuka normally uses. _Is it shame?_

"I won't be a mother."  
"Shinji has escaped from the shadow of his father. When will you escape from the shadow of your mother?"

The elevator door opens at Rei's floor.

"I will depart by myself. I suspect you will contemplate my words for quite some time now."

Rei exits the elevator. The doors close on the redhead as tears form in her blue eyes.

* * *

"All rise!" As always, the entire class rises when she bellowed her order… all four of them. The entire school could fit its students into a single classroom. With the exception of two teachers, Kensuke had noted that every remaining employee at the school is a Section 2 agent.

Their teacher sits down which forces a smile on Hikari. He may not be the best instructor, but the man is dedicated to his students in his weird, impersonal way.

"Thank you, Class Representative." Well, that's new. He never thanked her before.  
"I am glad to help." She bows. The students take their seats.

The man lectures about something. Does it even matter at this point? Of the four here, those two boys will be leaving in a week. Kensuke… _Of all the kids that have to stay in a warzone, it had to be him._

She sees a message ping up on her laptop. It's from Kensuke.

"Any idea if Mari will ever show up?"  
"No clue. I haven't talked to her since that incident."  
"Oh. What about Asuka?"  
"Something's on her mind. It's bothering her to the point where Misato gave them permission to skip today."  
"Them? So that's where Shinji is."  
"Yeah, he's doing something to help."

Hikari looks out the window. She never used to do this. Now, it's a common thing. Rei did this a lot. What was she looking at? It feels somehow fitting to the pigtailed girl. It's as if life and normalcy are on the other side of the glass. The birds sing. The wind blows through the leaves. The sun shines. In here, it's nothing more than four man-made walls.

"You okay?" _I didn't expect him to write that.  
_ She types _yes_ , but she changes her mind and instead sends, "Not really."  
"Not sleeping well?"  
"No."  
"Worried that bad things will happen again?"  
"Yes."  
"I don't think this matters much, but I think you can do it, Class Rep."  
She smiles. "Thank you."

That sound. That horrible, deathly sound. It erupts throughout the entire city. Hikari sprints out the door and to the waiting car. The Section 2 agent speeds down the road. Her entire body enters a fight or flight mode. It decides on flight, but she can't run. Even if she's backup, the entire world could need her. Her life doesn't matter in the scheme of things. She's just a kid.

 _This is it, Hikari. You can do this. We can beat this Angel._

* * *

"Asuka, you're going to back up Unit 00." Misato switched to her Major persona. It's too bad they can't put her in an Eva.

"Yes, Ma'am."

Butterflies flutter in her stomach. This is her first battle since Zeruel. She can't let her friends down again. Shinji's locked away due to that S2 organ in Unit 01. That means it's up to the girls… Well, it's up to her and Rei. They're keeping Hikari as emergency backup. _Dank Gott._

They catapult Rei first then Asuka. _I can't fail you, Shinji. I must protect Shinji!_ Her comrade prepares the finished version of the gun that killed Ramiel. _I hope the Positron rifle works just as well this time._ They send up a different kind of weapon to Asuka. _What did this one do again? Oh, it's like a cross between a grenade launcher and Rei's weapon. I hope that Angel comes down soon. It's out of range. The freaking cloud cover isn't helping either. This is our first battle in the rain, isn't it?_

She pulls down the targeting system. As she already knew, it won't lock down on the target.

"How's it coming along, Wondergirl?"  
"Out of range."  
"Same here."

 _Wait. What's that?_ The Angel almost seems to glow. _That's not the Angel glowing, that's…_ "NO!"

 _ **Hallelujah!**_

The very fabric of her everything becomes nothing. Naked. Clothed. Together The same. PAIN!

 _ **Hallelujah!**_

Light! Orange light. AT field? PAIN! Mind gone. Mind here.

 _ **Hallelujah!**_

"Mama!" Cold. Ripped apart. It sees everything. She sees it seeing. PAIN!

 _ **Hallelujah!**_

 _Kill it!_ She squeezes. Fight or flight. FIGHT! FIGHT! Shots fly. Misses.

 _ **For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth!**_

Falls down. Fires. Building fall. Roads collapse. People die? She kills?

 _ **Hallelujah!**_

Screaming. She screams. No courage. No passion. She wails like a little girl. _I am a girl._

 _ **Hallelujah!**_

Presence. It enters into her, her most private of all places. It inserts itself into her mind. It takes her.

 _ **For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth!**_

"No! Don't! Don't come inside me!"

 _ **Alone.**_

"Stop it!"

 _ **Lust.**_

"Help me!"

 _ **Hatred.**_

"Shinji! Shinji!"

 _ **Unwanted.**_

She clutches her head, but it won't leave. The pain won't leave. IT won't leave.

 _ **The kingdom of this world; Is become the kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ. And of His Christ!**_

"Get out of my mind! It's taking my mind! Help me! Anyone, help me!"

 _ **And she shall reign forever and ever**_

"Asuka! Retreat!" _Misato?_  
 _Run away? Yes, I can stop the pain. NO! NO! NO! Shinji could come up! Rei could get hit!_  
"NEVER! I'll never let it hurt anyone else!"

 _ **King of kings forever and ever. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!**_

Rei fires. She hits? No, it's too far away.

 _ **And lord of lords forever and ever. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!**_

"What's wrong, Asuka. This is a present from your new mother. Don't you like it?" _Father?_

She sees a monkey… a doll. It lies on the ground, torn in two. If she killed the dolls, maybe her mama would come back. _Stupid child!_

"No!" _Was that my voice, or her… the young me's… voice? I don't know._  
"No, why not?"  
They step on it together. "I'm not a child. I grew up faster than other people. I didn't have a childhood. I don't need a doll!"

"Please Mama, why won't you look at me? Please look at me! Please don't stop being my mother!" _No! Not this! Not this memory!_

Her little finger snatch that doll from her mother. It looked just like her. She had it since she was two. It was her favorite doll among many. Now, it replaced her.

"Asuka?" _Mama?_ "Why won't you come to heaven with me?"  
"No! Please don't kill me!"

 _No! Please! Please stop! Don't make me see these things again! I have a new mother! I have love! Don't show me this! Don't show me… me the end of it all!_

She curls into the fetal position.

 _I'm defiled. Kaji, what would you think? I'm dirty, defiled, impure. She bawls. I'm alone._

* * *

"Father! Father! Let me out! God damn it! I will fucking kill you if you don't let me out!" Shinji thrashes at Unit 01's controls. It went berserk before. Why won't it do anything now?

Asuka's screams of utter agony fill his mind. It's hurting her, torturing her! "FATHER! I'll kill you!"

He hears their voices through the intercom. Unit 02 has shut down. Her mind unravels from the attack. It's ripped apart, probably beyond repair. She's dying from the inside out.

"Denied." _He's so cold._  
"Let me out!"  
"Rei, retrieve the lance. Shinji, speak to her."

* * *

 _ **Hallelujah! Hallelujah!**_

Defiled. Defiled. Defiled.

 _ **Hallelujah! Hallelujah!**_

Alone. Alone. Alone.

 _ **Hallelujah! Hallelujah!**_

"Asuka! Can you hear me?"  
"Sh… Shinji?" _I sound so weak._

 _ **Hallelujah! Hallelujah!**_

"You have to fight it! Rei's getting something that'll kill it! Hold on. You must!"

 _ **Hallelujah! Hallelujah!**_

 _Holding? No one held me since my mama lost her mind. She only held me to hurt me from then on. No one else would touch me._

She sees her younger self. "I don't need a mama or a daddy. I can take care of myself."

 _Stupid bitch. You needed… need someone to hold you. I… I'm held. Shinji holds me._

"I won't ever cry again!"

 _Keeping it in only hurt more. I can let it out around Shinji… No, I can let it out around anyone. I'm strong enough to do that._

"Ha! I don't need your help."

 _I said that the day I met Shinji. I needed his help. I needed Misato's help. I need help._

"I am the Great Asuka Lang-"

Asuka lunges at the girl and wraps her hands around her throat. The embodiment of everything she ever was claws at her face. She bites back. She spits out the girl's left pinky. That girl would've screamed if she wasn't being strangled.

Unit 02's eyes glow green again.

 _ **Hallelujah! Hallelujah!**_

Her entire body feels the fingers, her fingers, around the other's throat. That thing continues to struggle. "You thought you could do it alone?" Both of her thumbs crush down on the windpipe. Her assaulter bleeds everywhere.

Unit 02 raises its arm.

 _ **King of kings and lord of lords!**_

"You thought no one could love you?" The thing's hands grasp at Asuka's deranged face. She shakes in anger, pain, and emotion. Her eyes are crazed like that of a madwoman. The girl becomes four. She chokes harder.

Unit 02 stands straight, defiantly at the Angel.

 _ **And she shall reign forever and ever!**_

The girl gouges her finger into Asuka's left eye. The pain doesn't register in her broken mind. She snaps the girl's neck. "Well, you were wrong. You are dead to me. I changed."

The Angel begins to crack.

 _ **Forever and ever and ever and ever!**_

Unit 02 shoots out an AT field in a perfect beam.

 _ **Hallelujah!**_

The Angel shatters.

Asuka blinks a few times. Her body comes down from a high of pain and adrenaline. _Are people yelling at me? What are they saying? Contamination? Blood loss?_

The LCL looks a little different. It seems more red. _Oh, there's blood coming out from me. Where's the source?_

"ASUKA!"  
"Yes, Shinji?"  
"Eject from the entry plug! You're way past the contamination zone. You're bleeding!"

She feels it… or the lack of it. When she closes her right eye and leaves the left one open, she sees nothing. That eye does nothing. _I've been defiled. Oh God, what happened to me!_

As she ejects the entry plug, she screams and hurls. The realization hit her. Things won't be the same any more. She slips into unconsciousness, her body unable to cope with the situation.

* * *

"Will you kill your father as you claimed?" Rei asks.

Shinji shakes his head. He feels numb. Dr. Ritsuko has been in that room with Asuka for over an hour. The three of them sit outside. Misato paces. He and Rei sit in chairs.

"Good. You would not have succeeded."

Would Asuka have been alright if he could've made his Eva go berserk? Hell, even Asuka got hers to power on and kill the Angel. He has an S2 organ. Why couldn't he do it? Why couldn't his Eva do it?

Tears fall from his eyes again. He saw her when they wheeled her unconscious form inside. There was blood, so much blood. They had her head wrapped in bandages. That beam was supposed to be psychological. Why did it hurt her physically as well? If this is what it did bodily, how bad is it in her mind? She was screaming about being defiled. It took the sanctity of her mind.

"That should have been me."  
"No." Misato stops her pacing. "Do not start this line of thinking Shinji. There's nothing else we could've done. I was helpless. Rei was helpless. At least your words seemed to do something for her."

He glances down the hall. Hikari paces there with her arms folded over her chest protectively. _She must feel really useless._ It's not fair.

The door opens. He and Rei stand, ready to run inside. Dr. Ritsuko stands in the doorway, blocking their only way in.

"She'll live." A weight is lifted off Shinji's chest. "She's awake, but she only requested Shinji's presence. Get in there."

Shinji rushes inside. A heart monitor beeps. He smells sanitizer and the iron tinge of blood. He sees Asuka in a hospital bed. She's on her side, facing away from him.

"Sorry."  
"What did I say about apologizing?" Her voice sounds hoarse.  
"You need water?"  
"No."

He walks to her bedside. He hears her breathing. It's in short bursts, like she just recovered from crying. He lays his hand on her shoulder and feels her tense.

"I feel sick."  
"I'm here. It'll be alright."  
"Not really. I got myself contaminated by both the Angel and the Eva. It's not life threatening, well, until I get into the Eva."  
"No."  
"Yes, I'm off duty for a while."  
"Asuka, what ca-"  
"That's the easy part."

She rolls over. She has bandages covering her left eye.

"It's gone, Shinji. In there, I killed my younger self. She gouged out my eye. I guess it really happened. I'm defiled and hideous, a shell of who I used t-"

She never gets to finish her sentence. Shinji wraps his arms around her. She feels cold to the touch. His body warms her.

"Shinji?"  
"Yes?"  
"Could you stay with me for a while?"  
"Yes."

Tears trickle from her remaining eye. Not even Asuka knows if they're tears of joy or sorrow. Right now, she doesn't care.

* * *

Mari stares in wonder at Unit 02. The machine stares back blankly, the soul inside went dormant once again. Technicians examine every crevice of their savior, but she already knows they'll find nothing contaminated. She sighs. Somehow, this's even harder than what she expected.

 _Sorry, Asuka. We couldn't think of another way to do it._

"We can change cores tonight."

Mari turns, surprised. _I shouldn't let my guard down so easily._ Rits walks up to her. That woman's eyes have giant rings under them. Her hair looks haggard. She smells like smoke and coffee. _Thanks for working so hard for us._

"No, I'll refuse to pilot unless it's Asuka's core." _And I kept my tone serious. She'll understand that I'm not bullshitting around._  
"We have other candidates, candidates who don't destroy their Evas immediately."  
"Nah, SEELE would send theirs. You won't like him."  
"More inside information on SEELE." _Oh, a distrustful voice. Spooky._  
"SEELE killed my mother and tortured my father." _Well, it's sorta the truth._ "I'm not chumming with those assholes."

Ritsuko nods and scribbles something onto her notebook.

"Oh, how'd you explain Kaji's apparent and untimely demise to SEELE? Don't tell me you told it was simply a hired gun with a single bullet."  
She raises her eyebrows. "We did, since that's how it went. Hired by the Japanese government no less."  
"Whatever."

She sighs. This time, it's forced. Rits should think she's embarrassed to ask this question. Well, she actually sorta is, but she doesn't want the doctor to see it any other way.

"How's Asuka doing?"  
"We sent her home. It's the best option to help her mental state. Physically, only her eye was giving us worry, and only the pupil sustained injures."  
"So, she's an angry pirate now?"  
"No, she's a depressed girl who had her mind violated by an eldritch horror."

* * *

Asuka untangles herself out of Shinji's arms and rolls out of bed. She slinks to the kitchen for some water. She shivers, though she's not cold. Her head throbs. She doesn't bother turning on a light. Walking around is now a challenge with only one eye, no depth perception. She might as well do it in the dark. She's used to that.

She grabs a glass and turns on the faucet. _Was killing my younger self like Mama killing herself?_ Water pours over the edge of the glass. _What if I turn up like her?_

The lights turn on. Asuka gasps and drops the glass into the sink. It doesn't shatter despite the trauma.

"Hey." Misato stands at the other side of the kitchen. _She… she must've been waiting for me._ She holds two beers in her hand. _Of course she's gonna get drunk after today's shitfest.  
_ "Hi."

She sits at the stable, still wearing her NERV uniform. Her guardian motions for her to take the opposite chair. Asuka complies.

"If you need to talk about anything, anything at all, I'm here for you."  
"Your boyfriend just died. I don't think you're in the mental state for helping at the moment."

Misato sets her cans on the table. Neither is open.

"You know how I was at Second Impact's ground zero, right?"  
"Shinji told me."  
"I was your age and experienced something far less traumatic than what you've been through. That's not even counting today. I didn't speak for years. I still have nightmares. It still dictates my actions, my drive, even my carefree front."  
"Your point?"  
"You're fucked up, bad. Really bad, but you're holding it all in."

Asuka stands up and pushes back her chair.

"And what would you want me to do? Should I cry like some damsel in distress and wait for a magical knight on shining armor to save me? Well, guess what. I am that damn knight. Should I withdrawal into a depressive state or roll over and die? Like Hell am I letting go of Shinji. Screw everything else in my life. Let the Evas go to Hell. Whether I like it or not, my entire sense of self-worth is based around the feelings of an equally screwed up teenager. Oh! Maybe I should go to the loony bin. That's a great place to hang yourself!"

Misato continues to sit. "What's your name?"  
"Were you paying attention to anything I was saying?"  
"Tell me your name. I can dictate every word later if you want."  
"I'm Asuka."  
"Whole name."  
"Asuka Langley Sohryu."

Misato stands up and get in Asuka's face. She backs away several centimeters. The woman's eyes are a blazing fury.

"Which one are you? Are you Sohryu, the suicidal women who abandons the ones she loves? Are you Langley, the asshole who fills the void of sorrow with pleasure? No, god damn it! You're not! You are Asuka. I don't expect you to be alright, but you aren't your mother."

The girl slinks back into her chair. The gaze of the woman overwhelms her.

"I…" Her insides twist into knots. She feels snot forming inside her nose. She blinks her only eye, fighting back tears with all her might. "I…" Her breathing becomes erratic, like a five year old who got spanked by her parents or a child who just finished a schoolyard brawl. "I…"

The floodgates open. She bursts into tears, but tears are the least of it all. She wails. Her voice sounds like that of a mourning widow or a dying child. Unrestrained, unimaginable pain. She can't hold it in any more.

"It's okay. I'm here."

Misato's arms cover Asuka. Enveloped by the warmth, she cries into the woman's shoulder. She hasn't been held… held like this since… since… _Since my…_

"Mama."  
"I'm here you. I always will be."  
"I don't… I don't know what to do." Her tears won't stop falling. She fights to keep herself from hyperventilating.  
"You'll make it through. You're Asuka, my Asuka."  
"I failed Shinji. I failed them all. I'll never be able to help them again!"

Her gaurdian strokes her hair.

"Shh. It's alright. You're still the lead pilot. It'll just be from a different position. How about right next to me? Does that sound good to you?"  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, they looked up to you. They still do. I can't even inspire all of them like you do. So, how about it?"

Asuka wipes the last tear from her eye. Somehow she feels lighter, less constricted. Her head throbs while her body and mind still feel defiled, but things are a little better now.

"Thank you."  
"Any time, and I mean it. Any time from now on, you can always come to me."

Misato grabs both cans of beer. _Drinking already? Sheesh. What a mood killer._ She hands one to Asuka.

"What are you doing, Misato?"  
"I'm drinking with another woman."  
"I just cried like a little girl."  
"Welcome to adulthood."

Misato cracks open the can, so Asuka follows her lead. They take a sip together. Because it isn't German, it tastes like utter shit, but that doesn't stop her from cracking a smile anyway.

Unknown to her, Shinji step back into their bedroom. He doesn't want to interrupt their bonding time.

* * *

Misato's voice: "Despite the unimaginable trauma, my Asuka hasn't collapsed yet. I can't saw the same with the next Angel. Four pilots will engage Armisael, and it will undeniably be the costliest battle yet. Oh, and Third Impact might happen prematurely."

* * *

Author's notes: Damn, that was hard to write. I ended up making it even less horrible than what I intended.

Were you able to follow the scenes with Arael? I hope so. If not, there'll be some more explanations with a scene or two next chapter. Also, was Handel's Messiah used alright? Some people skip it. Some people incorporate it awkwardly. I hope it wasn't weird. (Every word was intentional, if you noted what I did with it.)

This chapter and the next two will focus on the three main pilots individually. Asuka, Rei, Shinji. Each For this chapter, just about everything pertained to Asuka in some way.

I also wanted this to be different from what you've normally experienced. I've never read Asuka single-handedly killing Arael. I've been building up to this moment for her since… well, since her introduction. This time, she grew enough already to fight back, though she came out crippled both metaphorically and literally. And before you ask, giving Asuka an eye patch is not just because it looks cool and/or as a nod to 3.33 and EoE.

Well, that's about it. I'm again going to have a hard time writing the next chapter because hurting these characters isn't fun at all. This time, I can console myself with the fact that there's going to be interactions between Gendo and Rei along with Sakura and Rei. Plus, there's going to be much more of Unit 00. The rest… Armisael will be a challenge to write.

Replies to Comments:

Traitor of All Traitors, ? I never said I off'd Kaji. He may or may not be dead. Either way, there'll be more of him.

ADeadDieHard, I can understand just being unsettled. If everyone had the same response, I'd honestly be worried about my writing. Plus, I'm pretty sure there's a few things most of y'all know that will or won't happen as we head to the end.

PrometheusDark, thanks for understanding. It's even more of a delay this time. Well, Train Car Rei, Rei Ayanami, and Rei Ikari aren't exactly as you described them. Speaking of subtlety, did you know that Rei flat-out told Shinji (and thus the readers) that she died several chapters ago without anyone realizing it? From _Lies (not) and Silence (not)_ , Rei told Shinji, "Because he remembers her, how he failed to protect her, how she died." Shinji (and y'all probably) thought she was talking about Yui. It was more about Rei.

Shinji is a good brother, and in many ways he's the pillar that's holding up Rei, Asuka, and (to an extent) Misato. That's a very tedious situation to say the least. As for happiness, there were bittersweet scenes in this one. I've wanted Asuka and Misato to share a beer for a while.

List of notable things that happened that aren't canon:

Rei and Asuka had a much less combative elevator scene.

Shinji completely lost his shit for a while and gave Gendo (unpunished) death threats.

Asuka killed a younger version of herself during the Hallelujah scene.

Arael was destroyed without using the Lance.

Mari became the new pilot of Unit 02.

Asuka has an eye patch. (Why is it always Asuka anyway?)

Asuka didn't collapse to the extent she did in the anime. (Obviously, everything is going to be perfect for her from now on… This is Evangelion after all. Everyone got a happy ending in canon…)


	24. Rei III

Chapter 23

 _Am I the personification of other's desires? I am Rei Ayanami because that is what other call me. I am Shinji's sister because he believes so. I am Sakura's friend and mentor because she views me as both. What do I want? Do I want, or am I simply a response? Am I capable of being original… creative… when I am a copy? Can I only regurgitate what others have told me? Can anyone create, or does everyone regurgitate?_

 _I do not know. I know I must protect those I love. I must protect my brother._

* * *

Rei watches Sakura sleep. She has lost her family and her legs. _I blame myself._ Yet, the child desires to stay with her. She leans down and strokes a few rogue hairs away from her face. The sole surviving Suzuhara seems so peaceful when sleeping. Tears aren't shed during slumber, but neither is laughter.

 _A mother would kiss her child's forehead._ Rei leans down, but she stops halfway through. She slinks to her room and closes the door. The teen falls asleep with her school clothes on even though she hasn't attended school in weeks.

* * *

Hikari looks at her friend in utter horror. She went camping once… back when Toji was alive. She can't remember how or why, buy she went on one of Kensuke's adventures, just the three of them. He built an impressive fire that still radiated heat, flames, and life after the sun rose. He threw a bucket of water on the flames and they died in a hiss. She smelt wet ashes and tiny wisps of smoke rose to the morning sky.

She sees that smoke, smells those wet ashes, and hears that dying hiss all over again. This time, it's not in a fire. She sees it in Asuka's eyes. She talks to the five of them. Her words make sense. If life was a script, then there'd be no difference between today's briefing and all the other ones they shared together; however, this isn't a script.

There's the finer details that make the difference. The bags under her eyes have grown. Each word has less gusto. Her lips no longer crack up into a smile. She sees Asuka, but the fire's gone. The driving force of the team has gone up in smoke. How long can she run on fumes?

"And that's about it. You have a new teammate. I'll become the backup Misato. Any questions?" She talks slower too. Other than Mari, Asuka was the fastest talker. Now, her words come out at Rei's pace, deliberative and perhaps forced.

Mari raises her hand.  
"Yes, Mari?"  
"Can I self-destruct your Eva?"  
"Why?" _You would've screamed at Mari for even asking that question before now. You don't care anymore, do you?_  
She shrugs. "It's yours and all. I thought I should ask now first. You never know when I need to become a suicide bomber." _I really don't like you, Mari._  
"Only with our permission."  
"Okay! Thanks for clearing that up."

Asuka shakes her head. Her face contorts between anger and confusion. "Well, you all are invited for the test."  
"I will be present for my brother."  
Asuka nods at Rei. "Hikari?"  
"I'm not sure." Would it be improper? It would certainly be dangerous.  
"Okay. You'll have a few minutes anyway."

The trio leave. Even though she hasn't decided what to do, she knows she doesn't want to be in the same room as Mari. She walks out the door.

"So you're leaving to watch Puppy and the cyclops?"  
Hikari stops and groans. "Cyclops?"  
"She has one eye. She's a cyclops."  
"I…"

She wants to. She wants to support her team. She wants to fit in, but she can't. There is a difference between the trio and the rest. It's like those war movies Kensuke used to rant about before Evas became his favorite topic of noise pollution. In every unit, there were two faction.

The first faction was the originals. They were the ones who've been there from the start. They fought in the wars. They became the heroes. They were the ones with a hundred meter stare… or was in a thousand yard gaze? She doesn't remember, but she sees it in their eyes. Sometimes, Shinji seems to be looking past everything but at nothing, especially when she sees him without Rei or Asuka. Oh, Asuka. She has a dead stare, at least with her remaining eye. Rei. She never had a normal stare. She has always been different. Hikari saw Rei's eyes before, not the red eyes but the kind of eyes. Every time, it was a survivor of Second Impact. Every time, it was someone who looked into the eyes of death but survived.

The second faction was the newbies. They arrived in awe of the originals wanting nothing more to prove that they could keep pace. Then, they either failed or made it. Even so, they never could intermingle with the originals seamlessly. They were always the people standing outside the campfire's light or eating alone at the mess hall. At least, that's what Kensuke said. He had this quirky fantasy about joining elite soldiers, being a newbie, then earning their acceptance.

 _I guess he thought that could happen with him and the Evas._ Her shoulders slouch. _If only that could happen to me._ She's the "other" Eva pilot. For the thirteenth Angel, her Eva was the Angel. For the fourteenth, she was stuck watching in a hospital room. For the fifteenth, they refused to sortie her. She has yet to face combat conditions. Even Mari has that distinction.

"Hey, you alright?"

Mari waves her hand centimeters from Hikari's face. She gets to close and bumps her nose with one of the swipes.

"Ow!" She backs up and clutches her nose.  
"Don't be a pussy."

Her eyes widen in shock at such an insult. How dare she use such vulgarity! A weird feeling arises in her chest. She felt in before, and the results are rarely good. Hikari prides herself in being calm and collected. That demeanor is about to collapse.

Hikari steps forward stopping just short of Mari. The redhead doesn't flinch. She keeps that eternally plastered smirk on her face. "You do not have the right to say something like that!"  
She shrugs. "I'm just stating the facts."  
"My boyfriend DIED!" She's screaming, loudly. Guards must be rushing to them this instant. "Toji is dead and you expect me to not be afraid? Gods, Sakura is half paralyzed. Rei was absorbed for weeks! Asuka was raped. RAPED!"

She slaps the redhead with all her might. The girl does nothing to stop the heavy blow. Her glasses fall to the ground.

"Ouch," she deadpans. That grin hasn't come off.  
"You singlehandedly destroyed an Eva, and you call me a… a…"  
"Pussy?"  
"Don't say that!" She pushes the American back into a wall. Unbeknownst to her, Section 2 frantically calls the highest ranking NERV officers over what to do. Until now, there have been no altercations between pilots like this. No one wanted to make the wrong choice, but they did anyway. Inaction rarely solves problems.

Hikari takes another step ahead getting right in the face of Mari. She doesn't hear the girl's glasses snapping under her foot. "I am terrified! I can't even understand how terrified I am. My mind swarms with self-doubt and what-ifs. Could I have saved Toji, Asuka, anyone? What if I'm mind raped next? What if my ineptitude kills someone I love again. Again! Don't you get it? Shinji's about to do something that nearly killed him both times he tried sinking. I don't know why he's doing it again, but who am I to question them? They are the ones who save the day. Us? We're just the fuckups."  
"Watch your language." She tries to waive her finger like a dotting parent, but Hikari snatches her finger. Maybe if she squeezes hard enough, it could break.  
"I hate you. I hate you so much it hurts." She lets go. "I don't care if you end up saving the world, though I doubt you could pull your head out of your little self-absorbed fantasy. You're a horrible person, a monster. How can you be so-"  
"Monstrous?"  
"Shut up. Not the word I was looking for. You know what? Forget it. You won't learn from this conversation or any other. You'll stay as Mari."

Hikari turns around and pushes past the dozen or so confused and incompetent Section 2 guards.

"We're you going, pigtails?"  
"To my friends."  
"Cool."

Mari doesn't know if Hikari heard her final words. She bends over on her hands and knees. She rubs her hands over the floor being, for all purposes, blind.

"Here you go." It's a gruff voice and one Mari doesn't recognize. She takes the glasses from his hand and puts what's left of it on. At least one lens is intact. The other one is gone.  
"Thanks." She closes her left eye to see him better. Oh, Section 2.  
"Could you not do that anymore?"  
"Do what?"  
"Fights. We're supposed to stop anyone who assaults a pilot, but we're supposed to protect pilots at all costs. They never said what to do in a fight."  
She raises and eyebrow. _Dang, Hikari slaps really well._ "Seems like a small oversight."  
"True. But, could you tone down the drama? It's not helpful."  
"It is."  
"Pardon?" He glances back at the others who stand outside the doorway as if she's some feral lioness.  
"It's helpful. Hikari should be out there to support Puppy. I got her to do it. The little scenario was accomplished. All is right with the world." _Too bad I only have one tool too use, pissing people off. Right, Blue?_

* * *

Shinji can sense their presences outside. He knows they're supporting him. Misato, Asuka, Rei, Hikari, and even Dr. Ritsuko. They all want him to succeed. _I know I will. She was nice last time._ Though, anything could happen. If so, the women better run out of that small command center thingy as quickly as they can manage. _Maybe I should learn the proper names of these things instead of relying on Rei._

He feels the now common feeling of being touched by another mind. Unlike the last two times, he dives in like he does wit Unit 01. He trusts the presence inside this Eva. He trusts her He trusts…

 _Rei?  
_ **Ikari.** _  
They told me what happened to you.  
_ **Anger. Shame. Alone.** _  
I also promised to see you again.  
_ **Wait. Alone. Afraid.  
** _Can you take me deeper? Um, that way we could converse like last time._  
 **Cannot. Safe. Can. Danger. Emotions more.  
** _I'm too calm to get deeper? Not enough danger and emotions?_ **  
Yes.** _  
Okay. Then, I'll try to stick to shorter questions. Do you remember me? When we, you and I, were kids?_

… **  
** _Touchy topic for you too? Sorry. Um, how come you talk to so many of us before, on that train car, you know?  
_ **No.** _  
You don't want to answer that either?_ **  
No. Not me.**

 _What?_

 **Never car.**

Suddenly, Shinji goes from sitting in an LCL filled tube to a park bench floating in a sea of eternal nothingness. At least there's that street lamp.

"I'm talking good now, right?"

Shinji turns to the speaker the moment he feels the cold hand touch his. He holds it tightly.

"So you can speak."  
"Haven't speaked in five years. I didn't get practice much, at all."  
"You can't use Rei's memories?"  
"Am Rei."  
"Sorry."  
She smiles. "It is fine. Speaking not good is better than speaking off." _Off? Oh she doesn't like Rei's… formality._

Shinji scratches his head. "So, how come I'm here? I thought you said-"  
"Got emotion, much emotion, when told you I not ever in train car."

He doesn't say anything for a moment and attempts to piece together her broken sentence. The realization dawns on him.

"You weren't the one who talked to us?"  
"Not me. Not Rei."  
"This is confusing." He clutches his head. "People aren't supposed to be two people. You're saying that I'm hallucinating a third?"  
"No. I do not know what third."

He pauses for a moment and tries to decode what she said. "You have no idea?"  
"Yes." She bobs her head up and down.  
"An Angel? Could it be one of the two left?"  
"Three."  
"What?"

She flinches. "Two. Maybe."  
"I better get going. They should know."  
"No."

She latches onto his right arm like a girl would do to her father.

"But-"  
"Train car hurtful? If no, then not worry."  
"But-"  
"Secrets. Rei's secrets. NERV's secrets. So many secrets, but safer if unknown by you."

He leans into the bench and strokes her hair as he would do to Rei… _I guess she is Rei too._ She sighs, almost melting into his side.

He studies her face. Every detail is exactly as he remembered it. The way her lips rests with the smallest smile, how she squirms a centimeter every second, the way her eyes stare off into the distance. It brings back hundreds if not thousands of memories. This is the Rei he remembered, but she was frozen in time.

Shinji grew. He's taller. He's… _I'm more like my father now, aren't I? I'm not distant, but I… I'm powerful, sorta. I can protect my family, so I do every I can to do that. But, I'm not like my father too. He stays distant._ Rei sighs in contentment. _I stay close._

Her body tenses. She looks around. The peaceful blackness that surrounds them becomes a pulsing red.

"Angel."  
"What?"  
"I sense. It Angel."  
"How can you-"

He stops speaking. The girl wrapped her arms around his waist as tight as her feeble arms could manage.

"Go. You fight. Rei and I fight too."  
He nods. "Rei?"  
"Yes?" She tilts her head in the same way the older way always does.  
"I love you."  
She smiles. "Me too."

He opens his eyes but only sees the grey metal of the entry plug. He clenches his hands.

"Misato!" He tries to keep his voice calm, but he hears his terror. "An Angel is coming!"

* * *

Rei watches as her brother's himself into her entry plug. She blushes but only slightly. _Major Katsuragi's humor may be inserting itself into my sentence structure or my newfound interpretations of it._

"Hey!"

Rei, Asuka, and Hikari all turn to the familiar voice. The First Child smiles. She does not need words to express her delight.

"Look at me! I'm moving again."

Sakura wheels herself into the room followed by a sweating nurse and a nervous Section 2 guard. Rei suppresses a feeling. Whoever used their full control of the MAGI to ensure Sakura could whatever she wanted whenever she wanted must be a very devious person… _I hope Commander Ikari does not mind._

Out of the corner of her eye, Rei sees even Asuka smiling a real smile. Sakura rolls herself to a meter away from Rei. She bends over and hugs the smaller girl.

"I am glad to see you recovering so well."  
"I am too!" She glances out the window and scrunches her eyebrows together. "Watcha doing here?"  
"My brother is completing another sync test with my Eva."  
"Cool. Do you think he'll be alright?"  
"I know he will be."

Rei feels a prick at the back of her mind. She gasps.

Sakura tugs on her hand. "Are you alright?"  
"Sakura." She puts her hands on either shoulder of the girl. "Tell your nurse to wheel you into the bunker at this base. Promise me to stay there until the alarm ends."  
"What alarm? Is something happening to Shinji?"

"Rei? You okay?" Even Hikari voices her concern.

The alarms scream. At the same moment, her brother ejects his entry plug.

"Rei!" The little girl's voice sounds so scared. Rei would give almost anything to stay and comfort her. No one could when she was the same age, the time she died. _Do I feel this way because of empathy? Family bonds forged outside of blood? Perhaps… maternal instinct? I do not know._

She wraps the girl in a tight hug. "Go. I will see you tonight."

The nurse whisks the girl away. Rei runs to her Eva, still in her plugsuit from the day's earlier tests. Asuka and Hikari were already going to their destinations. Hikari will enter Unit 04. Asuka will help lead from the command center, a new one. They still have not replaced the old one, nor does Commander Ikari have any aspirations to do so.

As Rei nears her Evangelion, she notices her fist clenching and unclenching. _The previous Angel destroyed our best pilot, possibly except for Shinji. I do not dream nightmares, but I think I now understand the feeling._

* * *

"Cool beans! It's a spinning circle of pretty, shiny-"

"Shut up!"

Of all people Asuka would expect to end Mari's annoying tirade, it would be Hikari, yet the meek girl was the one to do just that. Plus, there was more venom in the girl's words than even Asuka would be willing to give to even the most annoying of people. _It'd make me look too bitchy… Are they not getting along? I… I'm not paying enough attention, am I? Verdamt._

"Focus, you two. This Angel's pattern is cycling from blue to orange. We can't get a good read on it." Misato's voice sounds like a lighthouse on a stormy night. It's the only thing keeping the pilots together. _Mine couldn't do anything so big._  
"In non-nerd language please!" _Someone is going to strangle that American alive one day._  
"It means we have no damn idea what that thing can do."

 _Focus! Okay, what's the situation?_ There's one Angel. Due to it's pattern, it seems to have some similarity to that giant spherical Angel. That didn't seem dangerous, but it almost killed her. Since each Angel seems to be much more different than the previous one, she doesn't expect this one to be mental based. _Like the last one._ She touches her eyepatch without realizing it.

 _What's the Evas' statuses?_ Three are deployed, close to each other. Each has one of those useless rifles. Shinji's is underground on a catapult. If even Ritsuko and Gendo seem wary of deploying their most lethal weapon available, then she'll defer to their judgement. _For now._

 _The last Angel was mental. Then, a physical one. Then, one that wasn't very physical. Then, a physical one. Before that, Ritsuko killed one with a laptop, definitely not physical. Then, we fought a spider. Not physical. All the other ones seemed pretty physical…_

"Pilots." _Mien Gott, I sound way more confident than I feel. That's good at least._ "It's going to attack you in some physical way. Don't get hit like a scared little girl."  
"Asuka?" whispers Misato. "What are you doing?"  
"Deducing the Angel's capabilities," she whispers back. After raising her voice, she says in the most authoritative voice possible, "Raise your AT fields. I don't care if it'll show the Angel your presence."

"It's already coming." Rei notes this information as if she's stating how Asuka had red hair.

The three Evas combine their AT fields as the Angel merges into a giant line, almost wormlike. It flies forward and into their shield. It moves through as if there was nothing in the way.

"Evasive actions!" Misato has slipped into her military role, but Asuka hasn't. She knows that the Angel will strike one or perhaps all three Evas. There's nothing she or her copilots could do to stop it. _Helpless. I'm helpless once again._

The glowing worm lunges towards Rei. Before it strikes her, Mari screams, "Not again!" She pushes Unit 00 out of harm's way. The Angel burrows into her instead. Asuka doesn't hear much of the screaming, the technicians are all yelling something. The word _contamination_ seems to be the most common though. _Shit. It's doing to her what the other did to me._

Units 04 and 00 stab at the Angel, but it seems impervious to even prog knifes.

Asuka turns around and stares at Commander Ikari. He sits in his chair with his hands folded above his mouth.

"Requesting permission to catapult-"  
"Denied." All shouting stops the moment he speaks, as if it was water smothering a fire.  
"Commander!"  
"This Angel clearly cannot be killed by our conventional methods."

Mari's words from the meeting ring in her head. _"Can I self-destruct your Eva?"_ Her eyes open in fear. She'd expect the man to grin in superiority. Instead, he doesn't show any emotion.

"I suggest, Captain, that you find a better solution that a modern kamikaze attack."

Asuka hears another pained scream. This time, it was Hikari's. The technicians start yelling about contamination again.

* * *

Mari had not closed her communication channels. Neither had Hikari. Rei never heard the orders, but she surmised they must've been given when Unit 01 stepped into her view.

She no longer was on the offensive because that was no longer an option. The Angel had a tendril in Units 02 and 04. It made several more to ensnare her as well which would all but ensure their defeat. Already, half their Evas were defeated.

"Shinji, do not let it touch you."  
"Misato!" _Did he even hear my warning?_ She ducks under another glowing tentacle. "What do we do?"

She sees two numbers, one for each Eva's contamination since she wanted to know how much time they have. Both passed by 50% moments ago.

"Damn it!" Of all the voice she expected, she assumed Mari's would have been the least likely to make intelligible speech. She was wrong. "Get away!"

She sees a new display, a warning sign she never expected to see before. Unit 02 has begun its countdown to self-destruct. The resulting explosion could hypothetically destroy the Angel, but too much of it seems to be outside of the Eva's body. Mari lack the willpower to absorb it all. Furthermore, any Eva without an AT shield will surely be destroyed. Unit 04 has no AT shield due to its contamination.

Without so much as a warning, Shinji charges forward. Rei freezes in fear. Using the strategy that performed so well against previous Angels, Unit 01 lashes out against the Angel like a feral animal. Whether or not it is the Eva or Shinji's anger, Rei still does not know.

Unit 01 tears the Angel from Unit 04. Hikari falls to the ground, unable to help but out of danger. As he moves to Unit 02, the Angel pierces his Eva. He gasps in pain and falls to his knees. The countdown continues to tick.

"Brother." Rei sees the situation with a cold, mathematical clarity. She could easily survive. Unit 04 will most likely be salvageable. Unit 02 and 01 will be lost in the explosion. The Angel will most likely be killed. It would be a victory. With just one Angel left, she and Hikari should be able to defeat it. They would win.

But, that is a victory that Rei cannot allow.

With a leap, she moves over the two Evas and the enemy. She lands behind Unit 02 and stabs the core Evas are designed to fight Angels, not the weapons of man. It slips past the armor in a precise strike. She memorized all four units' designs after all. Unit 02 eye's go lifeless and with it, the countdown to self destruction stops. The core will be easily salvaged, however. Mrs. Sohryu should not die due to the actions of Mari.

The pain impales itself throughout Rei body. It would be unbearable to most, but Rei has learned to bear with unbearable pain. The pain of loneliness, the pain of battle, the pain of death. She has felt them all and continued with her life. This is merely a physical pain. _Yet, my heart hurts more than I can bear._

She wills the entire Angel into her Eva. Lines form on her body like veins or worms under her flesh. Shinji is safe.

"Rei! What are you doing?" His voice sounds so fearful, so pained. She is the one hurting him, and that knowledge hurts her even more.  
"Shinji…" She whimpers as her hands shake uncontrollably. Her eyes roll back into her head and her head jerks back.

He tries to run at her, but she uses an AT field, one of both Angel and Eva, to keep him away.

"You cannot save me this time, brother."

She hears screaming, but it is not of Shinji's. It is something she has not heard before. Her eyes cease to function as she reaches down and pull the self-destruct lever.

 **Do you wish to die?  
** She has ceased to feel anything of the physical world. Her heart wrenches inside her chest. _No._  
 **The other one said the same, yet you both try to die. Why?  
** _Why do you use my voice?_ **  
I have become one with you. Is that not what you have wanted? I see your desires. You want to become one with your Eva, your brother, your world. Instead of dying and becoming one with nothingness, we could live and become one with all.  
** _No.  
_ **You are lonely.  
** _Yes._ **  
Yet, you wish to be alone. Why?** _  
I do not wish to be alone. I desire warmth.  
_ **Warmth?  
** _Yes, the feeling when another has shared a part of themselves with you. It is superior to becoming one with all when another lets you become part of themselves. I am one with Shinji. I am one with Sakura. I am a part of many.  
_ **Yet, you throw it all away now. You know that you will die.** _  
I have died once before. I do not care that I cannot die to myself twice. I will live on in the memories of those I… I love.  
_ **Do you not understand the idiocy of your choice?** _  
No, I understand completely. Shinji taught me that I can be loved. Sakura taught me that I can love others beyond my family. Commander Ik- my father taught me how to make hard decisions through his actions. Asuka showed me how to live passionately. Hikari showed me the pains humans feel from loss. Do you not understand? I make this choice not out of foolishness or ignorance. I make it because I have grown from the lifeless husk that I used to be._ **  
Then you will be damning those you love into pain, suffering, and loss.  
** _I know._

"Shinji?" She forces that beautiful word from her mouth.  
"Rei!" Though she cannot see, she feels him bashing against her AT field.  
"I love you."

For a moment, she sees Shinji. She imagines herself with brown hair and brown skin. She imagines herself going to school with him. She sees herself arguing over pointless things with him only for them to reconcile moments later.

Rei watches that life fade away.

She feels a hand wrap around hers. She looks down and sees herself when she was nine.

"I'm scared." It… she says.  
She squeezes her hand. "I'm scared too."

For that fleeting moment, Rei and her Eva were one. Then, they were no more.

* * *

Hikari opens her eyes and sees hell. Everything burns. She sees no trees, no greenery. All of Tokyo-3 is gone. Building collapsed. Water covers the streets. There is no people, no life.

Then, she sees a demon amid the flames. It looks at the heavens above and screams in pain. Its eyes glow white. Angel's wings and a halo burst from its body.

 _Shinji?_

"Hikari!" _Has that voice been talking to me this entire time, or has it just started.  
_ "Yes?"  
"Destroy Unit 01!"

Hikari stands up.

"What?"  
The voice, Misato's voice, screams in more fear than the girl ever heard the Major use, "Shinji is starting Third Impact! You're the only Eva left!"

Shinji starting Third Impact? This doesn't make sense. There was an Angel. How could this happen? This can't be real. Everything must be a nightmare.

She suddenly sits in a seat instead of her pilot's chair. She hears the clatter of a train. The sun is red and shines in her eyes.

"I didn't expect this."

She jolts her head to the side. After seeing the speaker, she lunges at him. When they connect, she buries her head into his shoulder.

"Toji, I'm so scared."  
He pats her back. "So was I when I saved Sakura. I saved her anyway though."  
"But, you died. You're still dead."  
"Yeah, but me and my friend figured you'd need a pep talk. After all, I need you to watch out for my little sis."

Hikari looks up and sees Rei, or the person who looks like Rei. The Fourth Child backs away from Toji and blushes.

"What you see out there's the real thing. A lot happened while you were out." His shoulders droop. "Hardly any of it was good. Now, you gotta fix it. A lot of lives are on the line here, all of them to be exact. Blue, how many are we talking about again?"  
"Three billion, two hundred thousand, seven hundred, and eighty two."  
"Thanks. So, that's a lot of people, right?"  
"Toji?"  
"Right now, you're the only one who can save them, including Shinji."  
"But."  
"No buts. You gotta do this, okay? You became an Eva pilot for a reason. I know you thought it must've been to fight Angel, but I think it was for this moment."  
"How?"  
"Do it like me." He smiles and points his finger at his chest. "Just clobber him until he comes to his senses."

Unit 04 stands up and charges. She waits for Shinji to notice her. Every step makes her easier to hear or see. She curls her hands into fists. She doesn't let out a battle cry since her opponent is not her enemy.

She barrels past the swirling vortex around Unit 01. Pieces of debris hit her. One metal object pierces her leg, but that doesn't matter. Toji wants her to do this.

Using all her momentum, she hits Unit 01 on the head. Then, she feels pain and sees a blinding light. All then becomes darkness. _I really hope that worked._

* * *

Asuka sees the smoldering remain of Unit 01 and 04 on the ground. Both pilots are alive. Both units will be repaired within days. But…

She wipes tears from her eyes. _Useless! I didn't do anything! Rei died. Shinji lost his mind. Tokyo-3 is gone! Are there even any survivors?_

"Downgrade alert status to condition yellow." Misato trembles. Asuka doesn't know if it's out of fear, sadness, or hate. Probably all three.  
"The Angel self destructed." Fuyutsuki's voice sounds hollow. "All four Evas did their all to stop the blast. Unit 00 sacrificed itself. That is what happened here." _Lies to protect our incompetence._

She turns around to say something, anything, to Commander Ikari. He hasn't said anything. His daughter died, and that monster-

Gendo sits in his chair. Silent tears fall down his cheeks.

* * *

"An unfamiliar ceiling."

 _My head hurts. Why?_

Looking around the room, no one smiles in greeting. No one sits in a chair waiting patiently. _Why would I expect someone?_ A beeping from the heart monitors remains the only sound in the room.

"Why am I alone?"  
"You're awake."

On the other side of the room sits a man. _How did I miss him the first time?_ His face looks stern. He must be a section two guard. _Why would a section two guard be here?_

"What happened?" Looking down, there's hardly any skin to be seen. Bandages wrap almost everything.  
"You made a rash decision and let emotion cloud your judgement. Many were hurt by what you did."  
"What did I do?"

He doesn't give an answer. Instead, he stares ahead in silence. _What is that? Is that…_

"Why are you crying?"  
"Do you remember that Unit 00 used its self destruct ability to kill the Armesael?"  
"Who?"  
"The Angel."  
"No. Is Rei alright?"  
"Rei…" He closes his eyes as if he feels great pain. "Rei is dead."  
"Who are you? A guard would not be so attached to a pilot."

He stands up. No longer is he a crying man. Now, he looks resolute, fearsome "I was Rei's father. I am your Commander. You will never pilot again."

Before anything else could be said, he walks out the door.

 _What did I do wrong? I cannot remember._ Seconds pass on by. Second turn to minutes which turn to hours. No one comes.

Then, three pairs of footsteps become increasingly loud. _Is someone coming?_ After sitting up with far less pain than one would expect from so many bandages, the door bursts open. Three people enter the room.

The first is a redhead with an eyepatch. Her remaining eye seems far too old for such a young girl. However, the smile on her lips seem like a good sign. _Was she a friend?_

Following the redhead is a woman. She wears a jacket bearing the rank of Major. _A commanding officer. Am I an officer?_ She looks shocked, though the bags under her eyes show a severe lack of sleep.

Both females stopped, unlike the third person who keeps on running. This one seems very familiar.

"Rei!" he shouts. He hugs her, careful to not disturb the bandages. She tenses.

"Do I know you?"  
He pulls back. "Rei?" His face contorts into one of horror.

 _Rei? That name seems familiar. It belonged to someone I knew. No, it belonged to two others. That must mean…_

"I think I am the third."

* * *

Misato's voice: "Rei is dead, but Ayanami is alive. Shinji will learn of his sister's final secrets before confronting the final Angel. Will a smiling face be able to save Shinji before he implodes forever?"

* * *

Author's notes: Yeah, you've been waiting for a while for this chapter. I think you all can see why it took me so long to write this. I didn't want to write it, at all. Plus, IRL is pretty terrible at the moment anyway.

There's honestly not a lot to say about this chapter in terms of my notes. It sucked to write because I've always known Rei wouldn't be surviving the encounter. Before you make any assumptions, Rei isn't "dead" nor am I going to do one of those generic amnesia things. Rei Ikari (Unit 00) and Rei II (the Rei we've gotten to know so well) aren't out of the picture yet.

Why would I kill Rei after essentially the entire point of this fanfic is "Rei and Shinji are twins"? Just trust me on this, please? I didn't end Shinji and Rei II's character arc in any way.

Replies to comments:

Traitor of All Traitors, I did debate for a while on whether or not to have Asuka lose her eye. In a sense, imagine it as a tradeoff. In the anime, she lost her drive and self-worth. In my story, she lost her eye, but she still is our fiery Asuka (even though she has self-doubts and self-esteem issues still). She's almost like a scared veteran of war now.  
Lautaro99, sorry. You must've been driven even more crazy by the gap I had this time. I really hope it won't be as long next time.  
Starburst98, thank for reviewing! Also, I have plans for Asuka's eye…  
Poshboy, it's great to see you around again. The character reactions are saved for the next chapter for… reasons. Asuka is there to great Rei for a reason though.

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

Shinji took another sync test with Unit 00.  
Three Evas survived the attack from Armesael.  
Hikari talks to Toji and Train Car Rei.  
Shinji started Third Impact, but Hikari stopped him.  
Tokyo-3 is essentially gone.


	25. The Final Messenger

Chapter 24

 _I have read reports of the five pilots. Well, they used to number five. According to SEELE's new information, there are only two available. As for the three who no longer fight the Angels, one currently lies in a hospital bed in a foreign land. The poor girl became quite injured when she stopped Third Impact. Too bad she wasn't in the Eva birthed from Lilith. I would have done the same. The time was not right. Another one, the former lead pilot, became too corrupted from Arael. I hope she is coping. It will be an enlightening experience to speak with someone like her. The final pilot was taken off the roster for "personal reasons". Oh, but I think being Lilith qualifies as more than a personal reason._

 _Of the remaining two pilots, one is absent from NERV whereabouts, but that always seems to be the case. Perhaps section two no longer tries to watch her. That leaves the world resting in one boy's hands yet again._

 _NERV now has a dilemma. They have two pilots and three Evas. The Lilin need a third pilot. They need a Fifth Child. I would love to speak with Shinji Ikari. Destiny? Yes, that sounds right to me._

* * *

"Rei, what are you talking about?"

The boy's voice carries fear and emotion. He needs comfort, yet the two women in the room do not provide any. _He is distressed because of me. I should alleviate his pain._

"There were two before me, thus I am the third." Rei does not know how she knows this. It is a part of her unconscious sentience. She does not have to consciously breathe, digest sustenance, or pump blood throughout her flesh. In the same manner, the Angel knows that she is third among a soul named Rei.

"Shinji, what is she talking about?" The woman's voice sounds confused, more than the boy known as Shinji. Perhaps she knows less than him.  
"Misato." The redhead has a weight in her tone than seems beyond what her age should give. "This's above your security clearance. Pilots only."  
"What!" The woman, apparently Misato, displays a great deal of emotion. Anger? That is anger. "I am your commanding officer and cleared to much more than you are. What the hell is going on?"

Shinji turns around. She does not see his glare, but Rei could almost feel the gaze. "This is between Asuka, Rei, and I. Please, give us some time." _The other female's name is Asuka._  
Her shoulders drop in resignation. "Alright." Misato steps out of the room with an expression on her face. Pained. The woman feels pain. _If I am wounded to have these bandages, then why am I not feeling pain?_

Rei raises her hand. "Excuse me, but should wounds be painful?"  
Asuka nods.  
"Then, I am not wounded."

She takes off the bandages on her arm with ease. Shinji rushes to stop her, but he is too slow. Her skin appears pristine underneath the white dressings.

"My hypothesis is correct. Could you enlighten me to what happened?"  
Asuka waits for Shinji to say something, but when he doesn't she clears her throat. "We fought an Angel. You self-destructed to save Shinji. Long story short, Tokyo-3 is gone. Almost all civilians have been evacuated, the ones that lived. Third Impact almost happened. Oh, Hikari is injured and Shinji was unconscious for two days. Now, you're alive for no apparent reason, but you've got scheisse for memories."  
"Oh."

She looks at her hand. It opens and closes without her conscious thought. _Why?_

"Did I know you?"

Shinji burst into tears. Rei looks away, not knowing what to do. She feels a hand on her shoulders, a warm hand. She turns her head and sees the deep blue eye of Asuka.

"Rei, you're my friend." Her voice sounds calm and collected. She points to Shinji. "You're his twin."  
The girl tilts her head. "Am I adopted? I think I am European. I even recall some languages. Sprichst du Deutsch?"  
"Ja." She shakes her head, as if she did not wish to switch into German. "Do you know if this room has cameras?"  
"There are no cameras or listening devices." She rubs her temple. "I do not know where that information came from."

Shinji wipes away a few of his tears. "Rei, do you remember anything specifically?"  
"Blue."  
"Like your hair?" asks Asuka.  
"My hair is blue? Why did I color it?"  
"No Wondergirl, it's actually blue."  
"Oh." _I do not recall Europeans having natural blue hair. Perhaps it is uncommon?_

As Shinji unwraps the bandages around her head, also apparently for decoration instead of covering wounds, he asks, "What do you remember about the color blue?"  
"Morning Glories are blue."

Her eyes open wide and she sits up in bed. _My flower!_ She throws off the covers. For some reason, she wears her schoolgirl uniform. _Who dressed me? Do I even go to school?_  
"Where are you going?" Asuka seems worried.  
"I need to reach my room."

Shinji beams in happiness. "You remember your room. Do you know where your room is?"  
"Yes."

Rei runs out the door, but she neglects to realize no one accompanies her.

* * *

Shinji and Asuka exit the door to follow the running girl, but a strong hand grasps each of their arms. Asuka turns around and sees the bottle blonde.

"We're with Rei." She tries to squirm out of her grasp. She stops when the grasp becomes tighter. "Scheisse! Stop that!"  
"No!" Ritsuko's tone made Asuka tense. That was a tone never used before by the doctor, normally the most level-headed person in the room. "While Gendo has been depressed as hell from all of this and Kozo has been lying out of his ass to SEELE ever since Shinji tried to murder the world due to a temper tantrum." Shinji cringes. "I was the one who kept Rei alive. I was the one who has been for years. I was the one who deemed you two worthy of not being locked under armed guard due to Angel contamination and destroying Tokyo-3 respectively."

"Rits?" Only now does Asuka register the fact that Misato is standing right next to them. This can't get any worse.  
"And you!" The blonde points at her oldest friend. "How the fuck haven't you pieced together all this shit yet? You're supped to be our tactical genius? Ha! Six teenagers and your three superior officers, well I'm your equal I guess, Major." She shrugs. "Anyway! Two of those teenagers live under your roof, and you've never wondered if there was something a little fishy about Rei?"  
"Please don't." Shinji stares at the ground. His hands tremble. Asuka takes hold of his hand. _At least I can do this one thing correctly._  
"Too late for that. You don't know everything either. That was my burden to bare until now. All of you, come with me."

No one dared to challenge her. Despite the waves of fear drowning the girl, Asuka knows that she has no more options. _We were a merry group of kids long enough. We aren't kids anymore. It's now time to face consequences… consequences for Rei still being alive after she died… twice already. What have they been doing to her?_

They travel down the endless labyrinth of NERV's HQ. They go deeper and deeper. Unlike Rei, Asuka hasn't memorized the entire layout, but she has a pretty good idea where they're going. It makes each step harder to take. Basements are where people with secrets store the bodies. They're going to NERV's basement, Terminal Dogma.

Ritsuko opens the door with the swipe of a key. They step inside a coffin. _What?_ Asuka shakes her head. It's an elevator, an old one. Its design is old like the ones she's seen for those made before Second Impact. _How old is this place? Did they build everything new on top of an old installation?_

They stop by a door. No one says the words, but Asuka reads the sign. _Artificial Evolution Laboratory._ Under the words and kanji, lies SEELE's symbol. _SEELE was here before us, or is NERV a branch SEELE?_

They walk inside the room. Computers are in stacks. They were state of the art for the early 90s. A thick layer of dust and grime covers the walls, floor, and tables. She sees pills that look startingly like the ones Rei takes.

"This looks like Rei's room, before we fixed it." _Shinji's eyes… Mien Gott, Angels didn't disturb him this much._  
"We like keeping things the way we remember them." She shrugs. "It's a human trait…" _Human? What are you inferring?_ "This was Rei's room after we… retrieved her from Unit 00 the first time until she became… accustomed enough to have her own place."  
"This place?"  
"Think of it as a small hospital for those who are very sick."  
"Will she have to come back here again?"  
Ritsuko cringes. "I said this place is for the very sick, not the dying or dead." _WHAT?_ She walks out the door. "Come."

They follow.

"Asuka," whispers Misato. "The first time?"  
She keeps her voice quiet but doesn't stop the ice from coming through. "This isn't the first time Rei came back from the dead, Major."

Ritsuko shows them a graveyard of Evas. Somehow, that doesn't scare Asuka. _We pilot living things. Living things can die, like Unit 03. The numbers… They aren't the designation for which one was built first. They're just the ones that survived._

"Come."

They follow her to another room. Black smothers everything but a tube of LCL under what looks like a giant brain. Asuka can almost feel Rei's imprint on it. She can't explain how or why, but she knows this is where had disappeared so often.

"It's time for all of you to know the truth." Ritsuko takes a remote sitting beside the tube. She presses a button.

"REI!" Shinji screams are hardly heard by Asuka. The girl's eyes are transfixed one the dozens of lifeless bodies, nude bodies, Rei's bodies. Like fish in an aquarium, they float in their LCL.

As one, each body turns its head to Shinji. They open their eyes and smile.

Ritsuko's voice cuts through her thoughts with a calm, cold indifference. "Souls don't die. Bodies do. Gendo couldn't stand losing his daughter, so we built spares. It's a good thing too since the second one, as you well know, died too."

Shinji falls to his knees.

"When we found Adam and Lilith, man did what man does. We tried to make it ours, but man can't subjugate gods. It blew up in our face… or… Adam blew up in Antarctica. Still, we tried to control god and, in our quest, we fashioned our gods from the flesh of Adam… and one from Lilith. That became our Evas, weapons of war and messiahs from Adam's children. But, why stop at subjugating god? Why not make god one of us, a human god, a human messiah?"

Ritsuko kneels in front of Shinji. Asuka knows she should push the woman away from him. She hurt him too much already, but she can't. The faces. All of Rei's faces. She never smiled like this. They smile like little girls… like dolls. _You left me for a doll, Mama._

"Shinji, a human body must have a soul, a whole soul. Rei's soul was ripped in two, so we had only one choice to keep her alive. To save Rei, we… integrated her soul with the one soul who matched it, since Lilith's soul matches all. If you thought Rei was different, she is. We are Lilith's Angels. We can become one with her, so Rei's soul became one with Lilith. Fully Angel; fully human."

She holds up her remote.

"Close your eyes, Shinji. Asuka, take him out of here."  
Misato finally speaks. "What are you-"  
"What makes us human is that only we are ourselves. I'm going to make Rei's humanity human again. I'm gifting her with the full life my mother took from her."

Asuka tries to lead Shinji out, but he sprints away. She tries to follow him, but she can't. The girl leans against a wall and cries.

 _I can't. I can't! I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for anything. I can't be a friend. I can't be a love. I can't be a commander. I can't be there for him._

 _Rei, forgive me._

Countless bodies of Rei float in the LCL. The red of blood mixes with the orange. The bodies crumble, dismantle.

Asuka cries.

* * *

Rei slams her apartment's door behind her. She rushes to her plant, almost cradling it in her arms. _This is mine. It is precious. Why?_ The flower has the deepest blue in its petals. She likes it.

"Rei?" _I… I know that voice… from somewhere. It is a good voice._  
"Yes?" She turns around.  
The girl in the wheelchair appears worried. "I haven't seen you in so long. I was scared."

 _Why is this girl in my apartment? Why do I know her? What is her name?_

"I am not well."  
She wheels closer to Rei. "Why? You sick?"  
"In a manner of speaking, yes."

The girl reaches out her hand. _Does she want the plant? A handshake?_

"I… I do not rememb-" She gasps. Her hand feels warm, like the sun. The girl holds Rei's pale hand in her diminutive one.  
"It's okay. You can work through it. You can do anything, Rei." _Total trust. Unrelenting devotion. What have I done to deserve this when I do not remember your name, young girl? How can I… Oh._  
"Sakura."  
She smiles. "Yeah. I'm unforgettable, you know?"  
"Can you help me? I… hurt other by not remembering. I do not wish to inflict more harm."  
"Sure!"

* * *

"An unfamiliar ceiling." Hikari's head feels loopy, off. _Pain killers._ It's as if her body is half-asleep, but it aches anyway.

"Hi."  
She rolls her head to the left. A familiar face stares back. "Hey, Ke…"  
"Don't bother speaking. Doctors are on their way."  
"You?" She wobblily points at him.  
"Why am I here? Well, Mari contacted a friend who's been over here. I think you know him. Anyway, he got me transferred to a room close to you. I guess NERV deemed me interesting enough to come out here. Other than you, it's mostly family members of important NERV people, like technicians. Did you know Maya had a brother? Anyway, I sorta snuck out to see you."

The doors open. Without a word, Kensuke limps away before the doctors could yell at him. _Limps?_ Only now does she realize how his arm has a bandage wrapped around it and how he uses a crutch to walk.

The doctors speak to her. She nods or shakes her head in response. It's hard to tell what they say to her. Their accents sound thick, familiar but thick. Asuka had a much better grasp on Japanese than her countrymen here.

 _Asuka…_ Her breathing accelerates. "What happened… in battle?" she croaks.  
"Classified. NERV says you performed admirably and are retired due to injuries."  
"Injuries?"  
"We had no choice."

He points to the lower half of the bed. The bumps, or the lack of bumps in this case, cause her to tense.

"Where's my leg?"  
"We are sorry."

They say more words to her, but they carry no meaning, no weight. She cries and crying makes her hurt more, so she cries more. _Where's Daddy? Where's Kodoma and Nozomi? Where am I? Germany? I'm a cripple! I'm half a human._

Eventually, sleep overtakes her. She doesn't want to sleep. Dreams have become a horrifying thought. They will all be about losing her left leg. She knows it. Instead, she falls asleep due to her medication. It's not a natural sleep. It's synthetic.

A sharp prick in the arm wakes her up. Her vision swirls, but somehow her head feels clear. _Drugged after being drugged?_ It's dark, really dark. This is not some checkup.

"We'll have a few minutes before it wears off." The man pockets the shot. _You're…_  
"Kaji?"  
He smirks. "Yeah, I'm alive. Since no one would've told you anything, you'll need to know a few things. Do nothing. Say nothing. Men will soon ask you for reports. Claim an inability to remember that battle. Cry. Do whatever, just don't say anything."  
"Kaji?"  
"Your sisters and father are alive, but they're listed as dead. It's safer for them that way. Would've done it for Kensuke, but the boy got injured and ended up here too. Tokyo-3 is gone. You did your part. Just stay alive, okay kid?"  
"Kaji…"  
"This is a great hospital. You're in the German base Asuka used to be at. Isn't that neat? Asuka had two eyes back then…" He shakes his head. "Oh, I'm dead. Let's keep it that way. Kensuke was smart. For once, he rushed to his designated hiding place and stayed there. It kept him alive. Heroes die. Wise people live. Don't be a hero, Hikari. You already are. Trust in your friends."  
"Asuka was so sad."  
"I still am."

In mere seconds, he's out of the room. She's alone and soon sleep overtakes her again. She dreamt of thirty different nightmares where her leg got torn off.

* * *

"You're early." Mari crosses her arms. She should be unhappy. The entire base will be cross with her. She's their only _functional_ Eva pilot. Poor Princess is depressed. Rei is off the roster and spent every moment afterwards talking to a female version of Tiny Tim. Hikari is out. Literately. She's freakin' gone. NERV Germany? Well, Kensuke's over there too. Shinji… He's missing. Has been for quite some time. Hours? Days? No one tells her things. Of course, she knows exactly where he'll be. Why? Well, she knows because who's standing in front of her.

She shakes her head. She's their only functional pilot and went AWOL. They're gonna be pissed, but NERV always feels pissed.

"Ah, I am early because he is early." _Of course, you'd say that. Screw you._  
"You think I don't know? I take strolls along the beach of a submerged city for the hell of it? Some things won't change no matter the circumstance."  
"This is technically an inlet. The submerged city's beach is over there." He points in the right direction.  
"I know that! You know that! It was a joke."  
"Your humor lacks humor."  
"I blame Mom and Dad."

He laughs, a real one. "I don't recall them being the cheeriest of Lilin."  
"Yeah Sparkles, they weren't."  
"Sparkles?"  
"I gave Blue a nick, why not you?"  
"True."

Kaworu sighs. For once, his ever-present grin becomes more like a grimace. "I desire your opinion. Would you consider this world better because of our efforts?"

Mari sits down in the dirt. Even the dirt feels different from what it used to be, yet it feels like the dirt of her childhood.

"I'm not sure. Toji's dead. Hikari's worse-off. Asuka… Well, I haven't heard anything about her slitting her wrists yet."  
"But, she has an eyepatch."  
Mari smiles. "You think that'll stop her during SEELE's big New Year's party?"  
His smile returns. "I suppose you are correct. She executes unparalleled displays of piloting."  
"Wish I was there to see it."  
"You will be if fate permits."  
"Sparkles, we don't do fate."

His eyes move from her to the distance.

"Shinji's approaching, isn't he?"  
"True."

Mari kicks the Angel in the groin. He grunts and collapses to his knees. "That's for what you've done, especially to Dad."  
He manages to say, "I will not disagree."  
She slaps him, hard. "That's for what you will do."  
"I agree. Two against one will be harder." He rubs his cheek. "But, the payoff will be worthwhile. Maybe she'll make it this time."  
"Does that even matter?"

He stands up. Already, the handprint has disappeared. _To bad Rei couldn't do that. Stupid Angel powers._

"You have your mother's drive, Ky-"  
"Don't." She holds up her hands. "It's Mari."  
"And Lilin believe Illustrious and Makinami are real as well? I suppose trust is one of your kinds most valuable yet exploitable traits."  
"True. You have your part. I have mine. Don't fuck it up, Sparkles."  
"What I did once I can do again."

Kaworu smiles; Mari smiles. She departs; he stays.

* * *

The skies above possess splashes of orange and red hues. The lake is colored like LCL. Not a sound of life emanates from the abandoned, destroyed city. It's just the lapping of waves and the blowing of the wind. This used to have millions of people. Now, it acts like a giant tomb. The stench of the dead fills his nostrils.

 _I abandoned them._ His stomach grumbles. _Rei, were you ever my Rei? I… There were so many of you. What will I do when we meet again? Hug you, run from you, scream? I don't know._ He stops walking when the water reaches his ankles. _I just don't know._

He hears a voice. _I know that melody._ Turning his head, he sees another boy sitting on a rock. He stares into the sunset, not bothering to blink. He hums Ode to Joy. _Funny. I don't see any reason to be joyful, not anymore._

"Singing enriches the soul, does it not?" His voice sounds melodic even when he doesn't hum. "I view music as the crowning achievement of Lilin's culture. Your words can hurt, but your voices can uplift even the lowest of souls. Don't you feel the same?" He turns to look at the Third Child. His eyes are red; his skin is pale. _Like Rei._ His hair is a greyish white. "Shinji Ikari."  
"You know my name?" He clenches his fist.  
"Of course. I have been observing your progress for quite some time now."  
"Who are you?"  
"Oh, pardon me. I have yet to introduce myself. I'm Kaworu Nagisa, and I shall be your new teammate, the sixth to pilot but the Fifth Child."  
"Why haven't you arrived before?"  
"Higher powers decided I should be the last of us to arrive."  
"Oh…"

He hops of the rock and splashes knee-deep into the lake. He wades out. "You have a sister, do you not?"  
Shinji can't stop himself from cringing. "Yeah?"  
"Could you take me to her? If the pilots are to be a team, we should get to know each other."  
"B-but…"  
"Come." He smiles. "I look forward to this."

The Fifth Child stops walking away when the he doesn't hear a trailing set of footsteps.

"Is something wrong?"  
"It's just that… I thought I… but she was so… And death. So much. Did I… I don't think I ever knew her."  
He turns around. His smile emanates warmth. "Shinji Ikari, you cannot truly know anyone. There is always more to learn, but you can decide if you love someone. Do you love your sister?"  
"Yes."  
"Then let us depart. You truly do not know how much you are being blessed with having a sister. No matter how much heartache it causes, you still have her. Cherish your time with Rei while it lasts. You never know when it will end."

Kaworu walks away again. This time, Shinji follows.

* * *

Rei eats in the cafeteria. Sometimes, she wonders how much she remembers subconsciously. She took a meal without meat. Rei didn't eat meat. Was it coincidence?

"See? I only just told you, so you didn't know. But, you took the vegetarian food anyway!" Sakura takes another bite of her chicken. _Does she eat meat to remind her of the boy named Toji? She said her brother enjoyed meat._  
"Perhaps you are correct… Where is Captain Sohryu? I would have expected her to attempt another conversation with me."  
"You mean _Asuka_?"  
"Yes, Asuka."  
"Rei, I don't think anyone is doing alright. I saw Mari last night, and she didn't say a joke! Nothing. She slunk into her room and closed the door."  
"Mari has the room across from ours, correct?"  
"Yeah, and when you were sleeping, I saw her. I hadn't seen her for days before that, but I don't think the guards knew she was it there."  
"Oh."

Sakura smiles and points across the room. Rei looks. She sees Shinji and another boy. The other boy has his hand around Shinji's wrists as if he drags her… her brother towards them.

"Hi, Shinji!" Sakura waives.

Her brother does not say anything. Instead, he breathes heavily and clenches his hand into a fist and back into an open palm. _A nervous tick that we share, apparently._ She looks down at her clenching hand.

"Greeting Rei Ayanami and Sakura Suzuhara. I am Kaworu Nagisa. Excuse our hair. We were told to complete a sync test, and I did not wish to delay our meeting further by washing our hair clean of the LCL. May I take a seat?"  
"Yes." _He looks similar to me._

Nagisa sits next to Sakura. Shinji sits next to his sister, but he scoots away from her. The apparent Fifth Child smiles. _Why does he smile so much?_

"The technicians were surprised by my readings. I was disappointed. I was hoping to sync well with all three, but one gave me the most unexpected trouble. Fortunately, I convinced another to work with me while the last one was impassive."  
"Unit 01 can be difficult to operate."  
"You remember?" Shinji's voice sounds excited.  
"Not effectively. Ever since I saw you, my information has been coming from the MAGI and Sakura, though I seemed to have retained subconscious memories."

Rei looks at Shinji. _My brother appears uncertain about me. How do I alleviate that?_

Kaworu chuckles. "Actually, I found Unit 01 to be quite-"  
"Shinji." Her words even surprise herself. "I am still Rei."

He looks at her for a moment. Then, his lips slowly rise into a smile. He leans closer to her, then hugs her. "I'm sorry." His voice comes out like a whisper. "I'm so sorry. I failed you, everyone. I'm sorry."  
"Can you stay with me?"  
"Yeah."

Sakura leans over to Kaworu and whispers, "Are they crying?"  
"Yes. I expected this to take longer. Do you desire ice cream?"  
"What?"  
"Ice cream. I never had any, and I think this moment calls for celebration through consuming sweet sustenance."  
"Ok."

They talked and ate through lunch hour. They talked through the afternoon. After the sun set, they talked until Sakura's eyelids became heavy. Shinji left with Rei and Sakura. Kaworu convinced him to stay with them overnight. After the three of them left, the Fifth Child stood alone in the cafeteria.

"Enjoy your time while it lasts. I suppose you'll soon learn what I had to learn." He closes his eyes for a moment. "Sometimes, you let someone go because you love them."

He walks away. His footsteps echo throughout the lonely halls.

* * *

"Wark."

Misato told her to watch Pen Pen, so Asuka watches the bird. He tilts his head, wondering where she's carrying him to, especially in the middle of the night.

"Sorry buddy. All the adults are trying to figure out what's up with the new kid."  
"Wark."  
"Well, we're going to find out. That's what."  
"Wark."  
"No, Rei's fine."  
"Wark?"  
"She's with Sakura. It's where she's been ever since… And what could I do anyway? I'm just the one-eyed piece of shit that can't do anything right. I messed it up with Shinji, and now he's gone. I won't do that to Rei either."

He nuzzles at the can tucked under her arm, finally cuing her into what he's been asking for.

"Oh, that. Sorry."  
She opens up the sardine can. She sets him down to let him nibble away at the fish. She arrived anyway.

"Hi."  
She looks at the behemoth towering above her. The Eva doesn't move. They never move on their own unless the Angels are about to win. _Self-awareness?_  
"It's been a while, too long. Isn't that funny? I was doing well for a long time. Then, I defeated an Angel single-handedly. Hurray. Who cares? I lost my piloting. Because of that, Rei sorta died, Hikari got shipped off the Germany, and the entire damn city exploded. No one says how many died. Hundreds, thousands, millions? I could've saved them. I was the best pilot after all."  
"Wark."  
She doesn't bother turning around. "I don't have any more fish, Pen Pen." She shakes her head. "You let others pilot you. The others Evas let him. But you… why not Kaworu?"  
"Wark."

"Pen Pen…" She turns around to address the bird, but he's not staring at the fish. He stares at Kaworu. The Fifth Child closes the door behind him, not bothering to wait for it to close itself.

"I could not help but overhear part of that, and I was wondering the same thing."  
Asuka doesn't move as he approaches. She analyzed him like she would an enemy. He's unknown. Unknowns aren't good.  
"She is quite the beauty, isn't she?" He stops and leans on the railing. Pen Pen waddles up to the boy. He bends over and pets the penguin.  
"What are you doing here?"  
"I'm doing what Doctor Ritsuko, Lieutenant Ibuki, Major Katsuragi, and you are doing. The doctor is not in jail, is she?"  
"No? But, she's going sorta crazy and depressed."  
"That is still better than prison for a woman of her talents."

She feels painfully exposed. No one knows she's here, but this mystery stands mere meters away from her.

"I have reunited Shinji with Rei. He is having a sleepover. I imagine he took the floor next to her bed."  
"Kaworu, people don't happen to have perfect sync percentages. Even mine wobbles a percent or two every second. You had a boring line."  
"Except with this Evangelion."  
"True."

He sighs. "Asuka, may you promise me something?"  
"I don't make promised to just anyone."  
"Well, perhaps you will. Promise me not to confuse the proper time and place for actions. Sometimes, you must fight. Other times, you need to be a shoulder to cry into." He nods. "Goodbye."

Without another word, she watches him walk away.

"Wark?" Pen Pen pecks at the empty can.  
"I agree. He's weird."

* * *

Rei wakes up. She rolls over in bed and sees Shinji on the floor. While she would not think such a position would be comfortable, he appeared to be quite happy to sleep there. She steps out of bed. _Why am I leaving?_ She walks out the door. _I must leave, but I do not know why._

The halls are mostly empty. A skeleton crew runs NERV. Most of the janitors and other maintenance crews lost part of their families in the previous Angel attack. Most left. Only the highest ranked technicians have stayed in full. Unlike the others, the Sub-Commander did not offer them a choice. As a result, Rei passes by three personnel despite the long distance. It also seems to be early in the morning. Five perhaps?

She walks to a doorway that is only able to be opened by four people. The girl swipes her ID across the scanner and the door opens. _Why am I going to Terminal Dogma?_

"Hello."  
She knows the voice, so she does not bother turning. "You were drawn in as well, Kaworu?"  
"We truly are alike in many ways." He smiles. It appears genuine, but she there may be reasons to doubt the sincerity.  
"I cannot allow you to enter. Protocol."  
"True. I think you will have company shortly, so do not wander off after you arrive."  
"Are you Tabris?"  
"I think Doctor Akagi will come to that conclusion within the hour. I do think it is ironic. Adult Lilin often have so understand things before they believe them. The children of Lilin believe before they understand. I like the latter more."  
Rei narrows her eyes. "My brother will stop you."  
"I know he will, with your help."  
"My help?"  
"When I say you are like me in many ways, I do not underexaggerate. Well, have a fine day."  
"Why did you help me? With Shinji and me? You did not have to, but you elected to regardless."  
"We wanted to see Shinji happy."  
"We?"  
"I really do have to leave. Could we save this conversation for a later date?"  
Rei feels the tug. "Alright."

He walks away humming a melody. _Joy to the World?_ She shuts the door behind her. The tug pulls her along. _I believe I understand what I am feeling._ She enters an elevator and descends to the deepest recesses of NERV. _I feel Lilith. She calls._

* * *

Kaworu stands in front of the Lilin's attempt to make a god among their kind. _Then again, I too am one of their attempts._ He senses guards approaching. NERV must have decided he is Tabris by now which is a funny thing. With Ritsuko not being imprisoned, he expected it to be much faster. _Oh well._

"I still do not understand why you are compliant this time, but I will not complain. Come. Let us attempt to bring oneness to all!"

Unit 01's eyes glow. Kaworu unmasks his AT field and floats into the sky. Alarms sound off.

"But first, we shall bring a friend along."

They rip the metal from the walls as if it was plastic. Crashing past Unit 02's cage, they reach Unit 04's home. Its docile soul proves receptive to his desire, so it follows his whims as well.

Midair, he rotates his body until he faces towards Terminal Dogma.

 _Funny. I thought marching towards certain death would be terrifying, yet I feel elation._

As alarms blare, he hums Ode to Joy.

* * *

"Gah!" Shinji sits up in surprise when he sees the most unexpected face mere centimeters from his. _And her breathe tickles._ "What the hell are you doing in my room, Mari!"  
"This's Rei's room, Puppy."

 _Why am I having a hard time breathing?_ He looks down. _Shit! Don't look down blouse, Shinji! Bad!_ He closes his eyes. "Get off my chest." She's half-sitting, half-lying on top of him. _How did she enter this locked apartment and why did she think this was a good idea?_  
She giggles and rolls off. "Wanted to wake you up, then I thought of Electra. It worked."

She stands up and pulls him to his feet.

"Where's Rei?"  
Without a word, she drags him out of the bedroom, out of the apartment, and down NERV's halls.  
"What are you doing?"  
She speaks, but it's almost as if it's to herself. He tries to break free of her grip, but it's strong. Very strong. Plus, he's still groggy. "I thought he would've been in a better spot, but NO. He and his ass were asleep. Did anyone bother telling me? No. Fuck you, Sparky. I'm just one asshole, not a god. Don't expect me to just know these kinda things."  
"Mari?"  
"Hurry up, Puppy. You need to get to the Evas. An Angel is coming."  
"How do you know?"

She doesn't answer. He tries to keep pace with her. They receive funny looks from the handful of maintenance workers they pass. _Why is it so far from the Eva cages to the base's apartments? Why isn't there an alarm if there's an Angel?_

As if to answer his question. he hears thunderous explosions. The red flashing of the alarms lights up the halls.

"Shit! We're late." Mari lets go of his hand and dashes in a full sprint. Shinji does everything he can to follow. He recognizes these passages. They're close. He knows when they arrived as the see a giant hole in the side of the wall.

"The Angel is already inside our base?" He doesn't see Unit 01 it its cage. Only one other person was a good pilot for this Eva. "Rei!"  
Mari slaps him. "Just get in the fucking robot, Shinji."  
He points at the cages. "My Eva isn't even there! Rei must be-"  
She slaps him again.  
"Stop doing that!"  
"There has to be one left behind, and I'll slap your face off until I get you in one. If not, Rei will DIE."

 _I must protect Rei._

He runs past Unit 01's cage. He sees twisted metal around the walls of the other two holding areas. Unit 04 has vanished. Unit 02 still rests. Without thinking, he runs up to the entry plug. Only three technicians try to get the Eva operational. _Are the others dead? Is this a terrorist attack? Where's Rei? Where's Asuka? What's happening!_

He enters the entry plug and inserts it. He starts it. _Thank you, Asuka, for never switching this back to German._

Misato's face comes onto his HUD immediately. He has seen Misato angry. He has seen her scared, terrified even. The look on her face is on a whole different level. _Something is very wrong._

Her words come out forced. "Shinji, Kaworu is an Angel. He hijacked Units 01 and 04. He is descending to Terminal Dogma. Stop him."  
"Kaworu?" The boy who smiles? The one who wanted him to be with Rei again? But, he's… he's a human. The others were all monsters. Kaworu is a person.  
"Go, NOW!"

He lurches forward. The controls act sluggish. This's Asuka's Eva. She's the one it's configured to, or maybe it's Mari's psyche.

 _Help me. Help me, please. I don't know what to do. I…_

His mind shatters as if it was hit by a mace. He screams. His higher thinking succumbs to the pain, leaving nothing but instinct, the instinct to protect one's child. _**Let me protect her.**_

They rush forward through the torn metal made by Kaworu. They see a tube, like the one they were at during Tokyo's blackout. It's access route 2. They look down for a moment and see their foes. A small boy and two Evas. The trio descends slowly.

They leap down and let gravity do all the work. The boy looks up and smiles. Somehow, they hear his words clearly. "You're late again, my friend."

Evangelion and child roar as one. They slam on top Unit 04. The red behemoth fights against the other two Evas without restrain, without remorse. It wants to tear the Evas to shreds. It wants to squash the boy. It wants to protect the one it loves just as it believes she loves it. Nothing will stand in the monster's way like… _**any mother would to protect her child.**_

"Kaworu, why are you doing this?"  
He floats down, hands behind his back as if he's some butler. "I must. It is my nature."

Unit 02 slashes Hikari's Eva across its neck. Blood gushes out and covers the lone Eva. The color doesn't change. It was blood red already.

"I can control flesh of my flesh, like Unit 04. It has no will to fight against me. Unit 01 has proven to be most helpful as well."

Unit 02 kicks Shinji's Eva causing it to crash against the wall. With this precious moment of time, the berserker takes a hold of the bleeding unit's neck and twists. Kaworu lets its broken body fall to the floor.

"Ah, I never did get to see Unit 02 fight like this. It truly is a marvel, like its original pilot."  
"Leave Asuka out of this!"

He tries to stab Kaworu, but an AT field stop their knife meters away from the Fifth Child. Unit 01 leaps onto Unit 02 and Shinji and stabs them in the chest, the heart. He wails.

"You cannot penetrate this, Shinji. Did you know Lilin have these too? They surround your hearts, your souls. I once thought that nothing could break through, but I was proven otherwise. Like the AT fields of your heart, it was broken by fields of equal power. Rei. Asuka. You are not merely a single soul anymore. You are a part of their souls just as much as they are a part of yours. I find that beautiful. Let us make this a private conversation, shall we?"

Everything shakes. Warning flash across Unit 02's screen. All communication has been cut off.

Unit 02 and 01 crash to the floor. Kaworu floats onwards. Shinji's Eva wraps its arms around them, but Unit 02 rips them off, literately. It beats the Eva with its town limbs until the enemy moves no more. Turning around, it rushes to Kaworu. He already teared the final door open.

They charge after the final Angel. As he floats to… _**Lilith**_. Unit 02 reaches its hand out to grab Kaworu, crush him, kill him. Their hand hits an impenetrable AT field.

"As I said before, you cannot defeat me."  
"No! Stop this!"  
"But she can."

His systems flash another warning, one that he's never seen before. Unit 02's sensors detect the AT fields of two Angels. Their hand closes around Kaworu. His AT field is gone. The Eva turns around and sees Rei standing over them. She looks afraid.

"I wanted both of you here again for a reason."  
Unit 02 squeezes, but Shinji forces the hand back. _I'm not a murderer!_  
"Twins. It's a simple concept. Two Lilin share the same womb. Look at where it brought you. I wish I was the one to think of that concept for the two of you."  
"Kaworu, what are you talking about?"  
"Am I the last Angel, Shinji?"  
"Yes!"  
"No, the first Angel you fought was the third. Adam has perished. His final death happened days ago, a wonderful deviation, yet the S2 engines still exist. Lilith's body lies behind me, but her soul is not there. That Angel is why you still have a sister, Shinji. It is why she has the power to stop me now. You'll have to trust her."  
"Kaworu…"  
"There is one more Angel after me. They are called Lilin, but you might know the title _humanity_ as more appropriate."  
"That doesn't make sense. I am not like you!"  
"Human. Angel. They are the same thing. I came here earlier this time. Be careful who you say this to, but you will battle the Lilin who desire Third… Well, I suppose it is now Forth Impact. It will start on the last day of the year and end of the first day."  
"How do you know that?"  
He smiles. "An old friend."

They stand there for a moment. The Angel nods. Shinji's hand cramps from the strain.

Kaworu closes his eyes. "Tell Kyoko goodbye for me, Shinji Ikari."

Then, he dies.

* * *

The girl waits. The Eva walked back into place, partially submerged in the LCL. She stands with a few others, waiting for the entry plug to eject.

When she first started piloting, Asuka had always imagined this occasion to be a celebration. Men and women would line up and congratulate her on killing every Angel. Asuka Langley Sohryu would go down in history books as the world's savior. Right now, she has only two thoughts in her head.

 _I want to crawl into some hole and die._

 _Shinji needs me._

The second thought won out. Maybe it's because she'll be the only friendly face he could see. Fuyutsuki called in everyone else for an emergency meeting. Asuka's a smart girl. She knows what they're talking about. SEELE sent them the Fifth Child. The Fifth Child was an Angel. It was on purpose.

The fact that Ritsuko wasn't worried about the second detected AT field also speaks volumes. _Rei. Since the first Angel blew up Antarctica and we killed the third Angel onwards, I was sorta wondering where the second wandered off to._ It makes her smile.

The entry plug ejects. The hatch opens and LCL pours out. Asuka sloshes through without a care in the world. She throws her arms around the whimpering boy. _Kaworu said there will be a time for fighting and a time for comforting. I know what time this is._

He buries his face into her shoulder and cries.

Asuka Langley Sohryu might be finished as a pilot. She might be a failure at being a tactical officer. She might not be the easiest of people to get along with, but she WILL get this one thing right.

Right now, Shinji needs a friend. She holds onto him. _And I won't ever let go._

* * *

Misato's voice: "We beat the Angel. Kaji's alive. Woo hoo! Oh, and Kensuke's alive too. Good for him. Anyway, NERV is about to get clobbered by humans. After killing world ending monsters for chapter after chapter, we're going to get our asses kicked by our brethren. People are going to die. I'll gladly die if it means my… my kids can survive. It'll all happen in The End of Evangelion, Air. More importantly, there'll be fan service without creepy hospital scenes!"

* * *

Author's notes: Holy shit. I finally did this chapter. A lot of my secrets were revealed here including some stuff that'll hopefully be a little confusing to y'all for now. This chapter didn't capture my initial vision which was much more grandiose, especially the fight against Kaworu. Instead, this chapter took a life of its own and became more… dark, gloomy, and cynical.

Kaji's alive. Yep. And he's in Germany with Kensuke and Hikari for now. Speaking about that, why didn't any of Hikari's sisters or her father die? I figured NERV would try to protect family members more than the average person and probably put them inside shelters within the GeoFront. That means they were in the one spot that wasn't flattened by the semi-Third Impact.

So, what's the state of mind for the pilots? Shinji is drained. Asuka feels worthless. Rei's trying to patch together the world that's falling apart around her. Hikari's out and suffered Toji's fate. Mari's being Mari.

I'm doing EoE in two parts with Air being the first. I'm not exactly sure where I'll put the half-way mark. I already know the battle with the Harpies will be hard to write. I write one-on-one fights better then group brawls, so I'll take however much time I need to make sure it doesn't suck.

Kaworu. Yeah, he showed up and died in the same chapter. Why did he get Shinji and Rei to see each other? Like canon, Kaworu just wants Shinji to feel loved. This time, Rei could do it for him.

Before any of you think _Ooh, Kaworu time traveled and made Shinji and Rei twins. It was all him!_ I would like to say that's not correct. A little before Shinji killed him Kaworu said, "I wish I was the one to think of that concept for the two of you." It wasn't Kaworu who did it, but he was (quite obviously) an ally. I don't think that most of y'all would think that, but I wouldn't want any misconceptions. Kaworu doesn't exactly speak in the most straightforward ways after all.

Until now, every chapter has covered just over twenty minutes of material. This time, it'll be about forty-six minutes of material for just the first half. I'll be thrilled to have the next chapter up in a month's time. I just figured I should give you a heads up. Then again, I could have it out under a dozen days if the writing goes perfectly (which has happened to me a few times already for this story).

Replies to comments (I reached 100! Hurray!):

ADeadDieHard, IRL got progressively worse, but now it's all better. Hurray again! Anyway, who is Rei III? She's Rei, sorta. There'll be a better explanation for the inter-relationship between all three Reis during my EoE. I think Rei III's personality has been shown during this chapter. She has the speech patters like what she had at the start of the story, but she retained the emotional aspects of Rei II at her death. Her memories are messed up, but Sakura managed to help her a lot with that. Also, Rei III has superpowers like canon Rei III. There's an explanation why too.

Traitor of All Traitors, I'm not sure exactly why you felt that you read this all twice, unless you posted that from when I accidentally posted chapter 22 for chapter 23 like a friggen idiot. I'll assume that's why. Also, sorry for being a friggen idiot.

Guest, will the upcoming chapters be more based on the anime or movie version? Well, the next chapter will be more about the first half of EoE. After that, my answer is… Well, it'll depend on a lot of things. For example, will Instrumentality be averted? I can confirm that some things in EoE are not things I will write. "Then, the countless nude Reis all shift their faces to Shinji while keeping the body of Rei." (Yes, that happens during EoE for a fleeting moment.) I don't think that'll transfer over to writing too well.

Kreio, WOW. That's an awesome review. Thank you so much! I sent almost 2k worth of words in a PM reply, but here's a (extremely) condensed version that addresses one of your questions anyway.  
Why did Shinji never confront Gendo about what happened to Rei? Like canon Shinji, this Shinji developed habits early on that stuck with him for the rest of the story. While this Shinji has several positive traits (such as being less self-absorbed and caring for Rei), he had a habit of not talking with Gendo. When he did, he sorta blew it. ("Why did you make Asuka live in my bedroom?") He tried it with Rei, Ritsuko, and Kozo too and that didn't work. Specifically, Rei didn't seem to want Shinji to find out about her. Plus, he's still a flawed character and a 14-year-old boy who's literately fighting to keep the world from turning into orange marmalade. (Oh, and Rei's past is a big secret. I couldn't have Shinji find out a lot earlier in the story.)  
Again, thank you so much for leaving such an amazing review. It was also my 100th. To quote episode 26, "Congratulations!"

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

Gendo is absent from every scene.  
Asuka is with Misato and Shinji when they find out how Rei's alive.  
Rei gets some help with her memories (and a lot of emotional support) from Sakura.  
Hikari lost her left leg, and now is in Germany with Kensuke and Kaji.  
Kaworu helped Shinji resurrect his relationship with Rei.  
Asuka doesn't become catatonic.  
Kaworu takes Units 01 (there's reason why) and 04. Though, Kyoto proved why no one should mess with a Sohryu.  
Kaworu warns Shinji and Rei about the upcoming battle.


	26. The End of Evangelion, Air

Author's Corrections: I meant to type "Kyoko" instead of "Kyoto" for the last chapter during Kaworu's final words. I fixed it, but it was after most of you would've read it. Sorry. A little more on that in my Author's Notes.

* * *

The End of Evangelion

Air

 _Mom and Dad told me stories when I was a little girl, stories of three knights in shining armor. Blue, Purple, and Red. They killed every Angel and defended humankind. Only one Angel remained between humanity's life or death. Lilin. So, the three knights must kill that Angel to save everyone. There was just one problem. All the people were Lilin. All the knights were Lilin._

 _Well, that's not entirely true. One soul was not Lilin. She was so much more. Her name was Lilith, but everyone knew her by another name. Well, I'm the exception to that too. They called her Rei. I do too, but I have another name for her as well. Aunt._

* * *

"Major Katsuragi?"

Rei knows where the woman intends to go. The major wants to talk with her brother, to know the details of the battle. It is logical, imperative. NERV can neither ignore the fact that an Angel reached Terminal Dogma nor remain ignorant of what transpired after all communications were blocked. As far as the young Angel understands, NERV knows that Kaworu entered and died while a mysterious second AT field emanated during that duration.

 _My brother feels pain. Asuka will tend to that matter. I will tend to this one._

"Rei, where were you?" The major glances down the hall. _She does not think I have imperative information._ "Kaworu attacked." _She does not realize I was in Terminal Dogma._ "We'll brief you later when we find out what happened. I need to get to Shinji, now."

The major walks away.

"To answer your question, I was in Terminal Dogma."  
This causes the major to stop walking. She turns around before eyeing the girl. Rei keeps her impassive stare. "What happened down there, Rei?"  
"Among other things, Kaworu warned of an upcoming attack by SEELE, scheduled to occur on New Year's Eve."  
The major's hand inches closer to her pistol. _She feels unsafe because of my words._ "Why should we trust that Angel?" She spits out the last word. _You still feel hatred towards… my kind._  
"Because he desired to fail. His AT field was too powerful to be overtaken by an Eva, even all the Evas. I believe it could potentially be exponentially more powerful than the one recorded during Second Impact." _His AT field was powerful enough to cause Instrumentality. All he needed to do was merge with Lilith._ "He ensured an equally powerful AT field was present to counteract his, and he gave the necessary information for a successful attack against him."

The major rubs her temple. "Lilith, the Angel we have to draw in all the others. She was the one who counteracted the AT field. That was the second one we saw, but… you showed me. Lilith is dormant, unable to produce an AT field."  
"The accuracy of that statement is not entirely sound. The white body that was once known as Lilith is only that, a body. You are correct in that it cannot produce an AT field. That body simply waits to be used again. Souls carry AT fields, not bodies."  
"But, we recorded another AT field."  
"You did, major."

The woman's eyes open in understanding. "What are you, Rei?"  
"I do not know." It is a truthful answer.

Rei's hand twitches. The major slouches.

"If you have any further questions about me, talk to doctor Akagi. She knows more about me than I do. May I now be excused? I wish to be with my brother."  
The woman looks at Rei for a moment, analyzing her. Her military mind uses the new data to make a new determination. _She wants to know if I am a threat._ The woman rests her hand on Rei's shoulder and smiles. "Go be happy, Rei. I'll have to prepare for a war now, a more conventional one. Everyone else trusts you. I guess I should too, right?"  
"That is logical." She bows. "Thank you, major Katsuragi."  
"How about Misato instead?" The woman smiles.  
"As you wish, Misato." Rei gives a small smile.

* * *

A Different World

As the sun sets, a little girl picks dandelions. She hums her favorite tune, one that Daddy plays. He said he used to play it with a big one made of wood, but those don't work anymore. Now, he uses flutes and shiny golden instruments. It has a funny name. She sets down her small bucket and rubs her chin. _What is the name?_ Her eyes open in realization. "Ode to Joy." She nods.

"What is it, mein Schatzi?" Mommy wipes the sweat off her brow. "You're doing such a good job helping me weed the garden." Mommy gives her a warm smile.  
"Was thinkin' about my most favorite song. Ode to Joy."  
Mommy frowns for a moment before returning to her happy face. "Yes, that is a good song. Do you know the words to it?"  
"Nuh-uh."

Mommy walks over sits in the dirt. She sets Kyoko on her lap.

"Well, since you're blessed with my brains instead of Daddy's…" She pauses to let her daughter giggle. "How about the first part, okay?"  
"Okay, Mommy!"  
"It's also sung in our secret language."  
"The one Daddy doesn't know?"

Mommy nods and clears her throat. She sings, but it sounds somber, like Daddy's playing most of the time.  
"Freude, Freude, Freude, schöner Götterfunken.

"Tochter aus Elysium,

"Wir betreten feuertrunken,

"Himmlische, dein Heiligtum.

"Deine Zauber binden wieder

"Was die Mode streng geteilt;

"Alle Menschen werden Brüder,

"Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt."

"You sing so good, Mommy, but… what do all of those words mean?"  
After a moment, the woman says, "It means that joy can overcome man's battles."  
"Oooh. Is that why there's no one else? Only you and Daddy had joy?"  
She shakes her head. "No, many people had joy. Daddy and I weren't one of those people, but we were the only ones able to get out of the ocean."  
"Okay."

The girl turns around and notices tears on Mommy's face. She warps her mom in a hug, a big one full of love.

"Mommy, don't cry again."  
"I'm sorry." Mommy sniffles now and embraces her daughter. "I'm so sorry we put you through this."  
The girl cries because Mommy cries. "Please stop crying Mommy. Everything will be alright."

For some reason, that seems to make Mommy cry even more.

"You deserve friends and toys and a real education. You should see a working television and a busy highway. You should walk through the streets Berlin or swim in a real ocean. I failed you. My baka and I doomed you to a life of loneliness. I'm so sorry."  
"It's all good, Mommy! Don't cry."  
"I wish I could've fixed things for you."

A hand rests on the girl's shoulder. Daddy's here. Daddy always comforts her when she cries, like the time yesterday when she scraped her knee. He always helps when Mommy cries, and she cries a lot, especially after the nightmares she has every night. But, Mommy helps too. She makes Daddy feel happy because Daddy feels sad a lot.

"Asuka."

That wasn't Daddy.

* * *

Rei walks into the technician's lounge. Only two people sit within the walls, but she already knew this. The repair crew for Unit 02 directed her here. This particular room was never popular. The NERV employees who had legal access rarely had time to make use of it. Quite ironic.

Nonetheless, Shinji and Asuka chose this spot to stay at. They sit on the red bench in the middle of the room. She hears her brother's sobbing as he leans against Asuka. _Thank you, my friend, for comforting Shinji._

Without making a sound, Rei walks besides the duo and sits next to her brother.

"I have ensured major Katsuragi will not bother you. I have passed on all information."

Shinji says nothing, but his actions speak for themselves. He nods and takes her hand in his.

"Rei?" The redhead's remaining eye gazes at her.  
"Yes."  
"Did you always have that kinda AT field?"  
"I do not know."  
"How does it feel?"  
"The AT field?"  
"No, knowing that you've been changed, a part of you is now different."  
Rei glances at Asuka's eyepatch. "You already know."  
"Yeah, I guess so. It still sucks."  
"I agree."

Asuka focuses on one vending machine.

"Rei, have you ever drunk soda before?" The redhead is forming a plan.  
"No."  
"And SEELE's gonna come and shoot us pretty soon."  
"That seems to be our situation."

The former lead pilot smiles. She stands and strides to the machine. Punching in a few numbers, three sodas fall out. After a moment's hesitation, she presses more buttons. A fourth comes out. Asuka grabs all four.

Rei tilts her head. "What are you doing?"  
"We are going to find Sakura. Then, we'll each slam our soda down before finding more ways to be childish."  
"Why?"  
"Because I'm not going to spend the last few days of my life being sad. We're going to make good memories. Fun memories. The kinda memories that'll stick with us until for the rest of our lives. Who's with me!" She raises her left hand up in the air. Her right hand was cradling the beverages. _You are doing this for us. I dearly thank you. You are a good leader, Asuka, even if you do not understand that yet._

Shinji looks up and wipes the tears off his face. He doesn't smile, but his face shows resolve. He nods.  
After seeing Shinji's reaction, Rei smiles. "I will participate… But, I do have one question." Her smiles turns into a frown. "You are both aware that I generated an AT field. I must be Lilith, an Angel, yet you both want to drink soda with me? I am different. I changed. I am an Angel. Why are you not afraid of me?"

Shinji squeezes her hand. It feels warm. "It's because you're still Rei."

* * *

A Different World

The girl gasps and squeezes her way behind Mommy. She never heard another voice before other than her family. Mommy stands while her daughter hides behind her legs. She closes her eyes, too scared to see. They always said some people could come out of the ocean one day… But, how did she know Mommy's name?

"Tell me you're real." She hears Mommy sniffle again. "Tell me you came back."  
"I have."  
"You haven't aged a bit."  
"And your looks have only improved."

Mommy laughs, but the girl knows it isn't a happy laugh.

"I'm a cyclops with a fu…" She pauses for a moment before resting her hand of her daughter's head. "With a friggen scar running up my arm where it was painfully sliced in two. I'm many things. Beautiful isn't one of them anymore."  
"While I do not believe your physicals traits have diminished, I was referring to your heart. It shines with love. Love for your beloved. Love for your daughter. What is your name, Miss Ikari Sohryu?"

Kyoko doesn't say anything.

Mommy kneels next to Kyoko. She places her palms on the girl's tiny hands which cover her eyes. "Mein Schatzi, do you remember the stories Daddy told you about the three knights?"  
"Blue, Purple, and Red?"  
"Yes, those three. I was the red, and Daddy was the purple knight. Do you remember the name of the Blue knight?"  
"Blue? No, um… Rei?"  
"Yes! Great job! You're the smartest, most amazing girl ever! The Blue knight is Rei. This young lady is Rei."

 _Rei?_

Mommy moves her daughter's hands away from her eyes, so the girl at last sees the being in front of her. _A girl?_ She wears white and green clothes and has pale skin, paler than hers and paler than Mommy's. She has blue hair.

Rei bends over and smiles at the little girl. She clutches onto Mommy's legs.

"Hi, Miss Rei. I'm Kyoko. Mommy says I'm super smart, and I'm five."

"Hello, I am Rei… Rei Ikari. I want to be your friend."

* * *

Mari walks into the Commander's office, but everyone knows old Kozo calls the shots these days. Judging from the distinctive smell of booze, she thinks the Sub-Commander had the right idea. The office looks like it always had in terms of décor. A creepy floor, a creepy ceiling, and one very lonely desk with one very lonely man.

Gendo sits up and causes a bottle of sake to smash on the floor.

"You're supposed to be in a cell." He didn't slur a word.  
"You're supposed to be drunk."  
"I am, but you're supposed to be in one of our cells. Suspicion over being another SEELE mole, most likely true."  
Mari chuckles. "If anyone asks, my ass in on the cell floor as I paint flowers on the wall using my spaghetti sauce."  
"Flowers?"  
"Why not?"

She leans on the table, careful not to put her hands on any of the glass. The man holds a half-smashed picture frame in his hands with three people on the picture. Mari recognizes a young Shinji and Gendo. It takes a moment to realize the other person was a young, brown-haired Rei.

"Before you call security using the button hidden right under here." She points to a specific spot on the desk. "Would ya be willing to hear me say some stuff?"  
"I don't think saying no would stop you."

 _Showtime._

Mari slams her hands on the table. "You fucking moron! Your daughter isn't dead! Unit 00 is gone. The second Rei is dead, but you and I both know Rei's alive. Do you know what your daughter has been doing over the past four days?"  
"I don't see why you'd know either."  
"She's been having fun! With her brother and your future daughter-in-law! She drank soda, watched movies, swam in a pool. NERV is going batshit trying to get ready for an invasion, you're about to die, yet here you are sulking and hiding from the world. No wonder Shinji's so predisposed to this."  
"You are dismissed, pilot."

Mari huffs and stomps away. She stops in the doorway. "Will you ever realize Shinji and Rei are all you have left?" Then, she leaves. No one else finds out she was outside her cell.

* * *

A Different World

"Ikari? Why you have Daddy's and my last name?"  
"I suppose that is the most logical surname for me."  
"I don't know what you said, but are you my daddy's family? Mommy says family has the same last name, so are you my daddy's…" She looks up at her mother. "Mommy, what do you call a girl who has the same parents as a boy?"  
"Sister."  
"Okay. Are you my daddy's sister?"

Rei tilts her head. "Not yet."  
"Rei, what are you talking about?" Mommy sounds confused.  
"Where is Shinji? I have at last attained sentience as a singular being, and it gave me options that you and your mate may wish to consider."  
"What are you talking about, Rei?"

Kyoko feels Mommy's hand rest on her shoulder.

Rei smiles. "I may have found a manner to save the world and your daughter."

* * *

Six people sit in the command center. The HUD display, normally for following Angels, now shows countless amounts of data for Tokyo-3. Weather, Section 2 placement, even seismic data. The three technicians pour over monitoring data, trying to find any indication of troop movements around Tokyo-3. It's easier said than done in an abandoned city. Misato gazes over maps of the GeoFront as she plans their defense. The Evas must stop most of the troops, but Section 2 must neutralize any forces that slip between the gods' grasp. Ritsuko drinks coffee, a necessary break from modifying the MAGI against attacks. Asuka… She may have a different reason for being with the adults.

"Asuka, I know you're trying to balance a lot." Misato swivels her chair away from the maps towards the young woman.  
"I am." Her eye studies the layout of the GeoFront, looking for some weakness or strength no one spotted.  
"I'm truly proud of you."  
"Thanks."  
"This'll be the first day you won't be with Rei, Shinji, and Sakura. You've been amazing, keeping your pilots' moral high."  
"Yep, I've been here for too many nights way too much. I'm going to be here today, then sleep tonight."  
"Asuka, it's Christmas Eva."

The girl sighs and rubs her forehead. _I was hoping you wouldn't bring that up._

"You should spend time with your friends."  
Asuka closes her laptop. "Misato, I know you know what Christmas Eva is like in Germany. If I was there now, I'd celebrate it with him, but we're in Japan."  
"So?" Misato smirks.  
"Your Christmas Eve is my Valentine's Day."  
"So?" The woman holds back a laugh.  
"MISATO!"

Her guardian falls onto the floor in a giggling heap. Everyone stares at her. Aoba, Hyuga, Maya, even Ritsuko. The redhead's cheeks quickly match her hair.

Asuka huffs. "You're embarrassing an officer in front of officers of lower rank! Stop it!"  
Maya stops laughing immediately and has a puzzled look on her face. "So, are we actually under you in rank?"  
Ritsuko smiles. "She's Captain Sohryu. That makes her the fifth highest ranking person here."  
"Damn." Aoba shakes his head. "So, she can order us around?"  
The blonde shrugs. "Legally, absolutely unless you outrank her, and you three don't."

Asuka grins. Visions of chaotic schemes dance through her head.

"That also means I can order you around, Asuka." Misato walks in front of her. "I order you to have a fun day with your friends."  
She crosses her arms. "Verdamt."  
"What was that again?" _Oops._  
Asuka salutes, though it carries a mocking tone. "Yes, ma'am."

Her eye notices something odd on the HUD.

"Misato?" _Mein Gott in Himmel, nein!_  
"Yeah?"  
"The weather for the entire city is the same, no change in wind speeds. I'd bet the seismic data is being tampered with too."  
Ritsuko sets down her coffee mug.  
She continues, "Our camera feeds should be on some form of repeat or a match of-"  
The blonde types onto a laptop at an impossible speed. "A match. Every camera is showing yesterday's data!"

Misato presses a button. The alarms blare, but this time it's not an Angel that's attacking. It's mankind.

Her guardian turns on a speaker. "This is Major Katsuragi. Be on alert for unfriendly human forces. The attack has come early. Somebody get the pilots to their Evas. NOW!"

That very moment, the faint sounds of gunfire pop over the ringing alarms. The MAGI display another alert. _They're hacking us… And the enemy is already inside the GeoFront somewhere. SHINJI!_

* * *

A Different World

Mommy carries Kyoko on her shoulders. The girl looks back at Rei. She looks so different. Mommy and Daddy don't smile much. They say they had bad things happen to them, so it's hard for them to smile. Kyoko does everything she can to let them laugh. Rei… She looks so happy. It's alien to the girl to have another person be happy like her.

"Why are you still living in Toyko-3?"

Kyoko wonders what that word means before making the connection. Daddy mentioned home is also called Tokyo-3. Why did Rei use that word?

"Simple. We were hoping some NERV people would pop out. Especially Misato." _Grandma!_  
Rei stops walking and looks down. "Asuka, she did not survive."  
Mommy sets her daughter on the ground before growing red in the face. She yells, "Why am I alive then? Huh! Explain that. I fucking died!"

Kyoko cries. She doesn't like it when Mommy get mad or sad. Right now, Mommy is both.

"Shinji wanted a chance to live as a singular soul again, to make his happiness despite the pain of existence. Since he was in control of Instrumentality, it happened."  
"That doesn't answer my question, Rei. I already know about all that bullshit anyway. All powerful moment of mental fuckery."  
"Your daughter is listening."

Mommy's shoulders droop. She looks at her daughter and smiles. "Mommy is sorry. I'm not mad at Rei. I'm just… sad knowing you'll never get to meet Grandma Misato."  
"Asuka, I did also explain why you are here. Shinji wanted a chance at happiness. I looked through all possibilities and futures. The ones with you, the ones with a child… Those were the ones where he could be the happiest."  
"Even from you, Rei?"  
The girl blushes. "I… I did look at those futures. They were… nice, but what I desire from Shinji is love. Not any specific form of love. He… acknowledge me as a singular being when I was alive in a normal sense. There are many kinds of love. You love Kyoko differently than Shinji. I have a way to ensure I can have Shinji's love without, um." Rei swallows. "Encroaching on what shouldn't be shared."

Kyoko sees a figure walking in the distance. He has a fishing pole in one hand and a big fishy in the other one.

"Daddy!" Kyoko calls out to the strongest person alive and waives at him.

He turns to look at his daughter. Then, he drops the fishing pole and the fishy.

* * *

Shinji leans against the railing and stares at Unit 01. It stands motionless in the pool of LCL. The last of the armor was repaired in the early hours of the morning. He wanted to be there to witness the event, though he's not sure why. He doesn't know why he's still staring at it either. The technicians all left, the few that remain. Other than Section 2, there might be a couple dozen employees left in the building. Janitors, electricians, even the cooks. They're all gone. Some Section 2 lady does the cooking now, and it's bad. Shinji shudders at the thought of eating another meal. Even Misato's cooking tastes better.

Unit 01 stares back at him, supposedly dormant. Those eyes look awake.

"Why'd you betray me?"

He doesn't get a reply.

"You sided against me with Kaworu. Why? Did you know he planned to fail? Did you want to start Third Impact? I know you're… self-aware in some way. You fought under your own command before. Why'd you betray me?"

Unit 01 remains motionless.

"She always was stubborn."  
Shinji gasps and turns around. "F-Fa… You."  
Gendo nods. "Yes."

Dark bags are under his eyes. He has stubble instead of a clean shaven-face. His clothes look rumbled. _Serves you right._

"Where were you? Rei died. She… she could've used your help."  
He pushes up his glasses. "I lost my wife and my daughter. Then, I had to experience losing my daughter again. I always clung onto the hope that I could reunite Rei with the remainder of her soul in Unit 00. Now, I'll never be able to fix my mistakes. You and I both withdraw during pain."  
Shinji swallows. "You still should've been there. I did… eventually."

Gendo takes off his gloves, revealing two very scared hands, hands he burned when saving her from a disastrous test with Unit 00. "I tried. To protect Rei, I had to put her in harms way. Only she could pilot Unit 00 and 01… or you. That's what we thought at least. The Angels would come, and they would kill her. If I could, I would have anyone else in the pilot's chair other than… you two."  
Shinji clenches his hands into fists. "Do you expect me to believe that?"

Neither speaks for over a minute. Shinji's father clears his throat.

"I watched her suffer for five years, Shinji. Did you ever learn how much pain the initial sync tests gave? Anyone else, even an adult, would've cried. Not Rei. She simply obeyed order which made it hurt only more. It took three years to calibrate Units 00 and 01 properly. That entire time, she didn't make friends. She couldn't. Rei was classified, but it didn't matter. She was only a shell of the girl that used to be my daughter. Her soul was torn in two and the gap was filled by a creature alien to anything human."

Shinji looks away.

"The entire time, I told myself it would be worth it. One day, the Angels will be defeated. One day, I'll fix my daughter. That would erase all the harm that came to Rei. In a single instant, all my hopes died with Unit 00. We salvaged Rei once again. Now, she'll live as an incomplete person, a testament to my failure as a father."

Shinji takes a deep breath. "Why are you telling me this?"  
"To keep you from making the same mistakes. The end does not justify the means when it comes to those you love."  
Unit 01's eyes seem to gaze into Gendo's soul.  
Gendo stares back at the behemoth. "The soul inside Unit 01 believes Instrumentality is inevitable. Someone someday will succeed. She wants to be in control of the event to ensure humanity has a chance to return."  
"What do you want?"  
"Now, I only want my-"

Blood splatters across Shinji's face. A bullet hole appeared on Gendo's chest. He grunts and slumps to the ground. Shinji screams.

The alarms blare. Gendo takes out his pistol and fires at two men in the doorway. They wear janitor's clothing. Both men fall to the floor dead.

"Father?"  
"Get inside Unit 01!" He coughs. The bloodstain on his shirt grows larger and larger.

Misato's voice blares over the intercom. "This is Major Katsuragi. Be on alert for unfriendly human forces. The attack has come early. Somebody get the pilots to their Evas. NOW!"

Gendo stands us as his blood drips onto the floor. Shinji runs to the unit, the same one the betrayed him. _Father!_ There's no time for changing into a plugsuit. He enters the entry plug. Nothing happens. He clenches his fists.

More gunfire erupts outside.

 _Come on, Father._ Shinji knows it's a single button. Then, the entry plug will be automatically inserted. _Help me, Father._

The metal plug rings akin to a giant bell. Shinji screams and covers his ears. _Someone's shooting at me!_ Shinji realizes he's in a coffin.

The entry plug inserts into Unit 01. He doesn't feel the mental connection, nothing registers to him but one though. _Kill them._ He killed Kaworu when he didn't want to, but he wants to kill these people.

He sees his father by the controls in a bloody heap. _They shot him more._ Ten men wearing civilian clothing fire their pistols and one rifle at the god. With a swipe of a hand, Shinji crushes the.

"Misato!" He hails his guardian. She'll know what to do.  
Another voice, Maya's maybe, speaks instead. "Misato left with Asuka. Unit 02."  
"My father is shot in Unit 01's cage. I won't leave until someone-"  
"Get to the surface!" It's another voice, one of the male technicians. "The JSSDF is attacking. Our protected status is revoked! Stop them, or we're all dead."

 _Rei._

Shinji smashes through the technical equipment to the lift. He steps on the catapult.

"Launch me!"

The forces push down on him, but he doesn't care. People want to kill his family. People! NERV saved their lives, but they tried to kill them all! _I think they killed Father._ To hell with morality. If Shinji can have his way, not one enemy will be alive.

 _I must protect Rei… I must protect all those I love._

* * *

A Different World

Daddy runs to the three women. He looks so happy.

"Rei!" he shouts. Kyoko sees Rei smile. Maybe having Rei around will make everything happier. That'd be good. He comes to a stop panting and tired, but that doesn't take away from his joy.

He wipes of some of the sweat from his brow. "How long have you…"  
"Today."  
"Will others be coming soon?"  
She frowns. "That is what I wish to discuss."

Kyoko feels the mood darken.

Daddy puts his hand on Rei's shoulder. "Tell me. Will anyone ever come back?" After giving her a moment to respond, he says, "You left because no one else would leave. Didn't you?"  
"That is one of my reasons."  
"So, it's just us?"  
"May we sit somewhere to talk? I do not have much time."  
"What aren't you telling us?"

Mommy sits down in the grass. Kyoko sits on her lap, wanting the safety of her embrace. Rei sits on her knees. Daddy sits next to Mommy.

Mommy clears her throat. "You said you had a plan to save the world, Rei. When everyone won't leave, then how can we save them?"  
Rei tilts her head. "We would save them before they become LCL."

* * *

Rei opens her eyes. She does not feel Shinji's presence. After a moment's inspection, her feeling proves itself to be true. Only Sakura remains in her apartment. _Perhaps he went to Unit 01 or to find Asuka. Christmas Eve is traditionally help for a romantic day for couples so… I would be content if they spent the day together._

She walks to Sakura's room and sits besides the girl's bed. The Angel's mind swarms with information regarding the paralysis. They are so many things to do, and so many things the young girl can no longer do. _How can she even continue? Her father, her brother… I suppose her mother is dead too. Now, even her body fails her. I cannot restore her family, but I can restore her…_

Rei shakes her head. _I should not think such things. SEELE will come. We will defeat them. All Angels and Angelic matter, with the possible exception of myself, will be destroyed. Then, I will… do something. Something is better than nothing, and I will do that something with Shinji, with Sakura, with Asuka, with… with my father… if he will let me._

Rei stands. _Why did I stand up?_ She walks to the door. _Why am I doing this?_ She reaches for the door handle.

"Rei?"

Rei blinks. _Lilith beckons me, but why? I do not understand. We are safe until the thirty-first because… No, it is today._

"Sakura."  
"You leavin' for a walk?" She rubs her eyes.  
"In a moment."

She hears footsteps on the other side of the door. There must be at least eight pair approaching. No one speaks. The base exists with a skeleton crew. The day has just begun, so most should still be asleep. Other than pilot Makinami and Rei's father, no one lives in the other buildings.

Rei glances back at Sakura. _She will remain safe._

"Sakura."  
"Yeah?" She gets herself into her wheelchair.  
"Come behind me, close by."  
"Why?"  
"Do it. Then, close your eyes."  
"Rei?" _She is scared. So am I._  
"Please."

Rei stares at the door but senses Sakura approach her. She stops a meter behind Rei.

"Are your eyes closed?"  
"Yes."  
"Keep them that way. No matter what you hear, do not open them. I will protect you."

Rei raises her AT field. Her door explodes. Men and women with guns fire inside. Perhaps they fired at random. Maybe they saw Rei standing there. It is a question Rei will never have answered. The bullets drop in front of her AT field harmlessly. Sakura screams.

Rei extends her AT field. Her stomach rolls as she watches eight people die. She slices each one apart.

"Sakura, we had better leave. I do not think it is safe here."

The girl cries. Rei touches her cheek. _I am crying too._ Lilith's pull becomes stronger, overbearing.

"Would you mind accompanying me, Sakura?"  
"Don't leave me," she sobs.  
"I won't. I promise."

They head to Terminal Dogma together.

* * *

A Different World

Kyoko lies in her bed with the covers spread over her head. She knows that they decided to speak about Rei's plan now, after they sent the girl to bed. She should be sleeping right now, oblivious to the gravity of the situation. But, as Mommy always says, Kyoko is a smart girl. She strains her ears to her the adults speaking in the room besides hers.

Rei's voice is the hardest to hear. The child isn't used to the voice, and Rei speaks softly. She has heard one word though. _Forever._ That means a really long time. Maybe Rei plans to stay with them forever? That'd be nice. She likes Rei.

She hears Daddy better. He sounds sad. "Is there any other way?" That worries Kyoko. Something will happen that Daddy doesn't want to happen, but Daddy is the strongest person ever. What's happening that Daddy can't stop?

Mommy's voice is too much to handle. She doesn't say words. Instead, she sobs, but it's not like any other crying Kyoko ever heard. This one sounds far worse. Hopeless. Torn. Desolate.

Kyoko rushes out of bed and into the room to see Mommy and Daddy. Rei sits on one side of the table. Daddy comforts Mommy as she cries into her hands. The girl stops in the doorway.

"Mommy?"

The parents turn and see their daughter, dressed in pajamas and fighting back tears herself. Mommy rushes over and sweeps her daughter into a big hug.

"I love you so much, mein Schatzi. Never forget that."  
The girl can't hold in the tears any longer. Something's wrong, very wrong, but the girl doesn't know what it is. That scares her more.  
Mommy looks at Rei and pleads, "Rei, please. Please, give me a month, a week, an extra day. Please."  
"My powers cannot hold myself here much longer. I could not wait more, for any child older would arouse suspicions."  
"How much time?"  
"Until sunrise."

Kyoko feels Daddy's hand on her shoulder. She looks up and sees him smiling. It comforts her.

"Hey sweetheart, you wanna go on a walk with Mommy and Daddy?"  
"Where?"  
"How about the special place?"

* * *

After turning off the intercom, Misato takes out her pistol and checks her ammunition. "Rits, can Asuka pilot anymore without worsening her condition?"  
"We're not sure. Maybe if it's short."  
"Asuka?"  
The girl nods.  
"Then stay behind me."

Without another word, the guardian and ward rush towards the holding cages. There's gunfire up ahead, but they don't see anyone now. Ne enemy. No friend. Just them.

 _Where's Shinji? Where's Rei? Where's Mari?_ The girl curses herself for being such a poor leader. She should've known where all her pilots were at. Shinji could be dead. Her stomach churns at the thought.

They turn a corner and see three technicians. Asuka doesn't recognize any of them. She does recognize the pistols they're carrying. _German models._ It's the first time she saw them in Japan.

In a single motion, Misato pushes Asuka down with one arm and fires her pistol six times with the other. When Asuka looks up, she sees two bodies on the floor motionless. The other one clutches his chest with a look or horror on his face. Misato fires one more time. The bullet strikes his head. More blood splatters onto the floor. Asuka vomits.

While continuously scanning the area around them, Misato pats the girl on the back. "Sorry, but we'll have to save our nightmares for later. Let's go." The woman reloads her pistol.

Asuka stands. They rush down the hallway again. _Blood._ She hears gunfire and people screaming, coming from somewhere. The next room? Behind them? Where? _Red blood._ Were those people always SEELE or did they infiltrate today? _I'll have to kill them._ Who else will they bring? Soldiers? Bombs? _I'll create so much blood._ What do they want? Who do they want? Is it the Evas, an Angel, or Rei? _I've never killed a person before._

They enter a new room, but they're not alone. Men in black combat gear turn their guns towards them. A few bodies already lie on the floor. All women. All NERV technicians. They hold rifles, an unknown model to Asuka, but she knows enough about guns to know these are automatic.

Misato fires twice and body slams Asuka back into the previous room. "Fuck it! Find another way." She blindly fires five times out the doorway before reloading.  
"Misato?"  
"Love you too." She pushes the girl. "Go!"

Too stunned to argue, Asuka follows her guardian's orders. She moves two rooms back before stopping. She sees the vent covering an airduct. _Like the blackout._ She slides off the covering and crawls inside. It's cold, painfully cold.

Only now does she realize her hands and shirt are red with blood, but the blood isn't hers. She crawls forward anyway to avenge Misato. Her avenge her… her…

Asuka's tears mix with Misato's blood.

* * *

A Different World

Mommy and Daddy take turns holding Kyoko on their shoulders. She's happy because it's always fun to be so high up. The girl can't help but giggle.

"We there yet?"  
"Almost," Mommy says.

It would be hard to see, since no one brought one of those fancy flashlights or a torch; however, the moon's full tonight. Kyoko scrunches her brow. Wasn't there only a crescent last night? Why is the moon so bright now? It's almost brighter than evening.

Kyoko hears waves. She likes that sound. The wind, Mommy and Daddy, and waves. Those are the things that make sounds. The wind can be spooky. Mommy and Daddy's voices comfort her. The waves… they're different. She thinks it's how everyone talks to her, a billion voices all saying hello.

"See them, mein Schatzi?"

Kyoko looks into the distance. There, she spies the nine figures suspended above the sea with their arms outstretches into a cross. Those are the monsters that killed Mommy.

"I see them." She wraps her arms around Mommy's head. The monsters are dead, but she wants comfort anyway. "Why you take me here?"

Daddy doesn't turn around as he speaks. They keep on walking. "Kyoko, you're going on a… mission."  
"A mission! Like Daddy's fishing trips?"  
He shakes his head. "No, the biggest one ever."  
"How big?"  
"Forever big."

Kyoko doesn't say anything else for the rest of the journey. Her little mind tries to wrap around an infinite concept. _Forever big?_ She's a little girl, a smart girl, but little nonetheless. What can she do that's so big?

Mommy sets down her beloved daughter on the beach. Her parents sit down, so she snuggles between them.

"Kyoko?"  
"Yeah, Daddy?"  
"You know how… we'll grow old, right?"  
"Sorta. Your hair gets grey."  
"Then, what'll happen?"  
"You…"  
"We die. When Mommy and Daddy die, who will you be with?"  
"Rei?"  
"She'll leave before sunrise."  
"Alone?"  
"Yeah, I've been alone. It's bad, really bad. But, there's a way to not be alone."  
"What?"

This time, Mommy speaks. "You'll go with Rei on your mission. She's nice. You can trust her like you trust us, okay?"  
"Will I be back for dinner?"  
"No."  
The girl buries herself into Mommy's side. "Will I see you for next dinner?"  
"Shinji?" whispers Mommy. "Help."

Kyoko hears Daddy's gulp over the waves. "Sure thing, Princess." He looks at his daughter. "You'll go back a long time ago, when Mommy and I were kids. We'll be your age."  
"Oh."  
"We won't remember any of this."  
"Me?"  
"No."  
"I don't wanna."  
"It's hard. We're asking you to be a big girl."  
"I don't wanna!"

Mommy sits Kyoko on her lap at looks into her eyes. "You know how these monsters killed Mommy?"  
"Yeah."  
"You know how Daddy is sad so much?"  
"Yeah."  
"You know how Mommy cries sometimes and wakes up scared?"  
"Uh huh."  
"You can fix all of that. You, my beautiful baby."  
"I wanna be with you."

She sees Mommy's tears. "I do too. Daddy does too. But… Mommy, Daddy, and Rei tried to save the world once. We couldn't. You and Rei have a second chance, to make things happy." She points at the ocean. "To free them. Please."  
"I don't wanna."

"Kyoko." Daddy uses a voice she never heard before. It sounds cold and powerful. It's a scary voice. "Look at me."

She looks at her Daddy.

"Everything you see will disappear. Rei's going to fix the world. Mommy and Daddy will still be alive, but we'll be young like you. Do you understand that?"  
"Yeah."  
"If you want to be with Mommy and Daddy, then you'll have to go."  
"Why you want me to go?" She looks at Mommy and Daddy. "Don't you love me anymore?"

Daddy closes his eyes and clenches his fist, pained more than she ever saw. Mommy cries.

"They love you more than life itself, Kyoko."

The girl turns around. Rei stands in the moonlight, almost glowing.

"You made things bad, Rei."  
"I did."  
"You made Mommy cry and Daddy feel bad."  
"I did."  
"You're a bad person."  
"So are you."

Kyoko tilts her head. _What?_

"You can save billions of lives, billions of mother, father, and children. You can save your parents, but you refuse out of selfishness." She holds up her hand to stop Mommy and Daddy from talking. "Shinji suffered phycological trauma… You don't know what that means… He hurt a lot on the inside when he was young. He had no mother. His father, your grandfather, sent him away until he had a use for sim. He saw Shinji as a tool. To protect the world, your father had to kill a good person. He was many things, including selfish, but he did try to do the right thing. He would've said yes when you said no."

Rei looks at Mommy. "Asuka died. She was ripped apart by those." She points at the monsters. "They stabbed her through the eye. They ripped her arm in two. They tore her apart, alive. She suffered through it all. We can save her from that fate."  
"Will I see Mommy and Daddy again?"  
"I promise. Now, spend your remaining time with your parents."  
"Then, I promise I'll… I'll do it and help them."

* * *

Asuka hits the ground ungracefully, like the time during the blackout. It hurts, but the pain barely registers. She's drawn to the site of her Eva, mostly submerged in bakelite. It takes just a second to realize that the entry plug can't be inserted.

"No."

The MAGI attack. That must've been it. She doesn't know if they've wrestled back control yet, but there was enough lapse of domination to flood the cage. _What am I going to do?_ She doesn't know. No one is here to help her. Soon, the enemy will come and shoot her. Misato might be…

"Dead."

She's going to die. Today. Within the hour. Alone.

"Alone."

She wanted the independence of loneliness, to rely on only herself and her abilities. Right now, that's all she has. Right now, that's not enough. She's a piece of a puzzle, an intricate conglomerate of people. All are necessary to function, but the puzzle was scattered. Dead. Dying. Lost. That's what her lifetime amounts to. She's alone when she needs to be with others when it matters most. Ironic. She had people around her when she anted to be alone, but she's alone when she needs those people.

Asuka falls to her knees before the god.

"Hi!"

 _Holy fucking shit, are you kidding me?_

Looking through the doorway is a face with red hair, glasses, and a smirk.

"Shinji's out there fighting."  
"Oh." _Why is she…_ "Get to your Eva now!" Asuka stands and points out the other door. "We need to fight."  
The girl shrugs. "Sheesh. We're safe for now. Shinji will be fine for a while longer, S2 organ. We're sealed off too. MAGI restored. The JSSDF gotta blast their ways through the halls… the few not full of bakelite. That also means Gendo is bleeding on the floor in Unit 01's cage with no one to help him, but screw Gendo. Anyway, it's just the two of us! Wanna help me fire up Unit 04?"  
Asuka nods. She runs to the Eva's cage.  
"Wait for me, Princess!"

They enter the room. It's untouched. Asuka smiles. She feels a poke on her back.

"Read this when everything's ever, okay? It's important to me." Mari smiles. "Really important."  
"Sure?"  
"You can operate this stuff, right?" She points to the controls.  
Asuka smirks. "Of course I can."

Mari hugs her, tightly. Asuka becomes rigid, surprised.  
"Uhh…"  
"Goodbye."

Mari sprints away from her fellow redhead and into the entry plug. Asuka presses the controls, something she learned years ago through observing the technicians in her countless sync tests, and watches as the evangelion comes to life. _Oh shit!_

"Mari!" she calls out. "Get my Eva freed."  
"Nah." Her voice echoes over the unit's speakers.  
"What!"  
Mari's voice becomes serious. "Sorry, but I made a promise."

The unit strides to the catapult. It launches, but Asuka doesn't know if it's the technicians or something Mari did manually.

The girl clenches her fists, furious. _Who the Hell had Mari make such a stupid promise? Dummkopf._

* * *

A Different World Finds Its Way into This One

Kyoko watches as Mr. Kaji walks away. It's the desert, but she doesn't really know what that means. He said he would take her here for testing. Rei said they wanna see if she can pilot, so Rei told her how to do that. She said it's what Mommy and Daddy used to do.

"Subject two point two-two, have you been hurt?"

So many voices. So many people. The faces move by in Kyoko's little world. Faces with things called beards. Faces with angry looks, the most common. Little faces of children. None of them liked her when she was… at that place. Lots of children. Few adults. Rei told her to draw a picture, four letters and half a leaf. Sorta weird, but Mr. Kaji liked it a lot.

"Subject two point two-two, have you been hurt? We need to know before we start the test."

Kyoko touches her cheek and feels tears. She doesn't notice her tears much anymore. They're a part of her life, a lonesome constant in a world of change and ambiguity… ever since she left Mommy and Daddy forever.

"No, I good."

For some reason, everyone uses the other language. Mommy and Daddy only taught her a little of it. She wishes that they'd use the main one or Mommy's special language. Rei told her that she can't use the main language. Japanese she called it? Kyoko is supposed to not be Japanese, but the girl never knew she was that in the first place.

She wonders if this is why Rei made her look paler, more like Mommy and these people. At least she looks pretty, since looking more like Mommy is looking closer to beauty.

"Initiating sync test for subject two point two-two.

Liquid fills the container. Kyoko screams.

"Subject two point two-two, the LCL is breathable. You will not drown."

She doesn't hear the words. Panic clouds her senses. She bangs on the walls. She'd call out for Mommy and Daddy if the water wasn't already over her head.

Then, she isn't there anymore. Everything is peaceful in the new special place. Rei calls it a train car, but Kyoko knows it is safe here. As always, Rei sits across from her.

"You are scared."  
"Uh huh."  
"That is understandable."

Kyoko hears a clickity clackity, like a heartbeat.

"Your mother and father did the same procedure. In fact, Asuka performed her first sync test over a year ago. Despite biological instincts, open your mouth and inhale all the liquid."  
"I'm scared."  
"So am I, but remember what I told you about syncing."  
"Opening my heart?"  
"Yes."  
She crosses her arms. "I don't wanna."  
Rei tilts her head. "Why?"  
"I loved Mommy and Daddy, but they're gone forever." She sniffles. "I never wanna love again. It's bad."  
"You must be successful in this test. It is the only way for you to see Shinji or Asuka again."  
"Mommy?" She sighs. "Fine."  
"Don't forget to talk with her in your head."

Kyoko is back in the water again. She opens her mouth, feels the terror of death, but survives anyway. She hates that feeling.

"You may feel an odd sensation psychologically."  
"Siko…"  
"In your head." The person sounds bored.  
"Oh."

 _Hello?_

Kyoko feels pain. The girl shrieks. Her fingernails dig into the palms of her hands. "Mommy!"

 _Stop! Please!  
_ _ **Who?  
**_ "Mommy!"  
 _ **You are… Dear God, you're a little girl.**_  
 _Stop hurting me. Please.  
_ _ **I'm sorry.**_

The presence slips away. Kyoko shakes from the trauma. _Love hurts. Love is bad. I can't let anyone love me, ever._

The girl sits in the entry plug for over an hour, alone. She feels cold. She sobs a little, sniffles other times. The voice doesn't come back, but neither does the pain.

"Subject two point two-two, the test is over. You synced at twelve percent."

The entry plug moves again and it opens up. The liquid goes away and she coughs it up, but some stick to her body and hair. It feels icky. Three men stand and stare at her.

"Hello?"  
"Come with us."

She reaches out for one of the men to take her hand, but none of them do. Instead, she walks in the middle of them, surrounded like some animal. These men are like most of the others. They're mean, and she doesn't like them.

They take her to a room where an old man sits in a chair. He looks spooky, like a dark room at night.

 **Kyoko.  
** _Rei?  
_ **This man is SEELE 12, a very bad man. Only say what I tell you.  
** _Okay._

The girl looks at the floor.

"Hello." He smiles. It looks fake. "I heard what you did today. Do you know you're the second person ever to sync? That makes you super special."  
 **He is attempting to gain your trust. Do not trust him.**  
"Why I here?"  
"Can you tell me why you drew this?"

He shows her the picture, the one she drew to make Mr. Kaji notice her.

 **You wanted to.**

"Wanted to."  
"Where did you see it? This is going to be the symbol of this organization in a few years according to our scenario. Only a few people know it. Could you tell me who showed this to you?"  
 **You made it up.  
** "Made up."  
"Okay." His left eye twitches.

He looks at a piece of paper on his desk. "It says here you never gave your name… Found on the streets?"  
 **Yes.**  
"Yes."  
"You never said your parents' names. What are they?"  
 **Mother and Father.  
** "Mommy and Daddy."  
"Will they be looking for you?"  
 **No.  
** "…No." She sniffles.  
"What's your name?"  
 **Don't use Kyoko.  
** _Why?_  
 **Trust me.**

"Um, Ma…Re?" Some girl was named Maree… Mary? Mairee? The day before she met Mr. Kaji, Kyoko got in trouble when she took a ball from her. They told her about sharing even though it sounds dumb.  
"Is that with an _i_ or a _y_?"  
"I?"  
"Okay, Mari. That wasn't so hard. What's the rest of your name?"  
 _Rei? Rei!_ "Uh, don't know."  
"Well, we'll get that settled later on, Mari. I'm part of an organization that'll love your syncing talents. You'll get a whole room to yourself with whatever you want. You can live here from now on, okay?"  
 **Agree, though it is not a request. You will not be known to the world until your presence is necessary. Compliance is key, and it will gain us necessary information.**  
"Sure?"

* * *

Shinji smashes another vehicle with his foot. His timer flashes red zeroes before his eyes, but he ignores that. The power has been out for a while, but he and Unit 01 kept on going. The JSSDF thought they could eliminate his power, but his Evangelion is like a god standing above men.

 _They want to kill Rei._

He grabs the final VTOL from the sky and crushes it with his hands. All the soldiers on the ground flee from him in terror.

He opens the intercom. "Anybody, they're retreating out here."  
He hears Dr. Akagi. "Keep up the good work, Shinji." He also hears gunfire.  
"Is… is everything alright?"  
"Mari's about to reach you. Don't worry about us."

That makes Shinji only worry more.

"Rei? Asuka?"  
"We don't know about Rei. Asuka is safe in the cages."  
"Okay."

He looks around for more enemies. Right now, he stands inside the GeoFront. The ground has patches of red, the enemy's blood. The JSSDF tried to scurry past him. A single Eva couldn't protect every entrance, right? Wrong. He killed them. He killed them all, and he doesn't feel bad about it. Not like Kaworu. Kaworu didn't want to hurt Rei, or Asuka, or anyone. These men… whether by forcible orders or their free will, they were murderers.

 _Father… Are you alive?_

Mari's face pops onto the intercom. "Puppy."  
"Yeah?" _Why did they all retreat?_  
"Backup's finally here."

Unit 04 appears from the ground. The catapult did its job once again, perhaps for the final time. The silver unit waives at him with glee.

"It's gonna be me and you making a final stand." _A final stand?_  
"What do you know, Mari?"

She chuckles. Instead of answering his question, she points to the sky. "Nine motherfuckers." Shinji sees several dots slowly increasing in size. "With S2 organs and regeneration abilities because the world hates us or something. Say hello to the Eva series, Shinji."

Shinji keeps his eyes on the enemy. "And you were going to tell us… when?"  
"Would you honestly believe this unless you saw it? They have snake heads or some weird shit like that."  
"I still think…" He doubletakes at her picture on the intercom. _What is she doing?_ "Mari, are you crying?"  
"No. I'm absolutely freaking fantastic." She rubs her eyes. "I'm great!"  
"You don't look great."

She blinks more and more rapidly. Then, she descends into silent sobs. "Shit. Shit! I can't do it anymore. Sorry, Rei." _Rei?_ She presses a few buttons on her Eva. A new display comes on his screen. She established a private connection between the two of them.

"Shinji." Her voice has become serious. Tears flow down her cheeks. "The Eva series murdered Asuka last time."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"Didn't Kaworu tell you something about this attack too?"  
"Yeah, but he got the day wrong."  
"It was the thirty-first last time, Shinji. Instrumentality happened. The entire world died. Only you and Asuka made it out alive."

She pauses to catch her breath as she sobs. Shinji wishes her could comfort her, help her. _What the hell is she telling me?_

"You were alone in a world where all the other people were LCL. Rei came back and turned back time, to make things right. That Rei talked to you, the one in a train car. Metaphorical for being a traveler, something like that."  
"What?"  
"Rei caused you to have a twin, also Rei."  
"Mari, wh-"  
"No!" She punches the side of her entry plug. "I'm not Mari! Not really! My parents named me Kyoko Ikari Sohryu!"  
"I-Ikari?"  
"Fuck! Now, I screwed you up too. The Evas are here."

She points up against. Nine grotesque, white monsters circle overhead. "We gotta kill them, Shinji. This's what'll matter most."  
"Okay." He nods. Nothing makes sense except one thing. _Protect._

However, his Eva outstretches its hand. _What?_ He feels it tug at something. _Eva, what are you doing?_  
 _ **Someday. Somehow. Instrumentality will occur, Shinji. I am ensuring Instrumentality will be controlled by someone who won't destroy the world. It is what I always planned. Kaworu simply showed me a better way of doing it.  
**_ _Lies! Kaworu wanted us to live!  
_ _ **And all of you will, my son.  
**_ _Mother? No! She's dead!  
_ _ **Tell Kyoko to duck.**_

"Mari! Get down!"

Without protest, she ducks. A spear… _**The Spear of Longinus.**_ It soars through the air into his unit's… his mother's hands. Unit 01 erupts in power. Wings spread.

"Shinji!" screams Mari. "Stop it! Stop Instrumentality!"

 _ **You can't start what has already begun, granddaughter.**_

* * *

Rei stands in front of the white Angel, the only one still alive besides humanity. She holds Sakura's hand.

"Why are we here, Rei? What is that?"  
"I think that is me."  
"Oh. Is that why you have blue hair?"  
Rei tilts her head. "I suppose so."

The Spear of Longinus rips itself out of Lilith. It hovers in the air for a moment then flies away. Sakura shrieks.

"Do not be afraid, Sakura."  
"I'm scared. Are we gonna die?"  
Rei shakes her head. "No." She kneels in front of Sakura and squeezes her hand. "I promise you that I will not rest until every soul has a chance to return."  
"Return?"  
"Lilith calls me. Instrumentality has begun. I can feel that… I must fulfill my duty, but…" She looks at the girl's crippled legs. "I will fix your legs. Does that sound suitable?"  
"I'd rather be with you." She hugs Rei.  
Rei hugs her back. "Then, you will."

The Angel breaks the embrace and floats towards Lilith's body.

Sakura looks at the person in front of her. The First Child, the Second Angel, Shinji's twin, Gendo and Yui's daughter, Asuka's friend, Sakura's big sister. Rei.

"I love you, Rei!"

Rei looks back and smiles. A warm, peaceful smile. "I love you as well." She nods. "I am loved by many and I am loved… That is a warm feeling."

Rei is enveloped by Lilith's body, but Lilith's body is enveloped by Rei's soul. The Angel transfigures into an image of Rei before Sakura's eyes. The little girl smiles, unafraid.

Rei smiles back.

* * *

Misato's voice: "What the fuck?"

* * *

Author's notes:

This took about three rewrites, some of each section being kept in this final piece. There's so much to talk about here. Ug, what can I say?

For one, this chapter easily gobbled up more time and effort than four of my more "normal" chapters… I guess that's why it took four times as long too. I'll probably do shorter chapter again and shoot for weekly or bi-weekly updates. I don't like doing this monthly. It'll make Instrumentality easier if I can focus on one or two major characters per chapter instead of doing… well, there's thirteen who I plan to give some time to during humanity's collective bath in orange marmalade. Plus, there's some stuff I want to do before Instrumentality as well (Kaji mostly). Also, no. It's not going to end with everyone living happily ever after all mushed together in a sea of LCL. That's weird and directly counterintuitive to everything the anime stood for, so don't worry about that.

Mari. I've been dropping hint after hint that she's the child of Shinji and Asuka (and a time traveler) since the beginning. (Probably the most blatant one was the Electra comment if you're somewhat familiar with Jung phycology and the Electra Complex.) So, not only is Mari a Mary Sue deconstruction but also a Peggy Sue deconstruction.

Here's the really short version of Mari's life. A teenaged and emotionally scarred Shinji and Asuka had a daughter and named her after Asuka's mother. The girl grew up knowing only two people. Canon Rei wanted to fix things but she could only take back Mari. (It'll be explained better next chapter.) Canon Rei had her placed in an orphanage and influenced events enough for Kaji to see her. Mari became a pilot operating out of the two American bases, but she never was a "designated" child similar to how SEELE had Kaworu but never made him public either. Mari spent most of her time living on the bases. She was only called into service when NERV needed another pilot. To say she had a weird, scaring, and tumultuous childhood would be an understatement.

Train Car Rei. She's canon Rei (specifically Rei III/Bookends Rei). I'm pretty sure I explained a lot of her motivations in this chapter. But, there's going to be a lot more on her. Also, she's the one Shinji saw akin to a mirage all the way back in chapter one.

Yui. Is she a bitch? A good person? Sorta… Her reasoning is pretty simple. Humans will eventually start Instrumentality given enough time because SEELE or some other future organization will eventually achieve it. She might as well get it over with now and use her influence to hopefully get a positive outcome for humanity. In canon, that plan didn't work. This time… I'm also not saying she's making the right choice or even has all the facts down right, but this's her viewpoint.

Kaji. Where's Kaji? He's sitting down, waiting for me to write the next chapter(s) since he's in those. There was already enough going on this chapter.

Gendo. You may have been able to gather this before now, but Gendo has pretty much been depressed and drinking ever since Rei II sacrificed herself. Mari gave him a pep-talk. He got off his ass at last and saved Shinji. Also, he's not dead. That'd be stupid for me as a writer to kill him off (off screen too without having final words with Rei (and maybe even Yui. Who knows?)

The JSSDF battle. SEELE knows that NERV has three Evas and at least two functioning pilots (which's much better than their canon situation). Instead of a purely "rush and shoot" mission, they timed it with infiltrators and the MAGI attack/hacking to increase their chances of killing the pilots. It didn't work.

The Eva Series. Yes, I've been thinking for a while with, "What can I do that'd be interesting and hasn't been done?" Then, I realized that there weren't any stories where the Eva Series showed up and just… started Instrumentality with Unit 01. It's always some big fight, normally all the current Eva pilots in some "desperate" attack even though we as the readers know the good guys will win in the end because happy endings and stuff. Ha! Not this time. After everything everyone went through, Instrumentality happens more easily than in canon. And SEELE is thinking everything is going perfectly to their scenario…

Instrumentality. Let's see if I can do an Instrumentality that's both sorta different than what other fanfics do (even though most tend to keep it from happening) and fits within the canon ideas about it.

Replies to Comments:

PrometheusDark… damn… It's been a month since the last chapter. Sorry. Now, you got a taste of another AsuShin too, from Mari's timeline. Well, this chapter had truth bombs too, pretty much all of them. There's a few left but the "biggest" mysteries are out in the open. What's the deal with Mari? How's Rei still Rei even though she's Shinji's twin? How did Rei become a twin anyway? Who's Train Car Rei? Asuka sorta took a back seat for this chapter, at least compared to what she did in canon. She'll get her spotlight soon. Everyone will.

ADeadDieHard, this died and came back to life yet again. Well, it didn't technically die. I've been working on it consistently since the last chapter. It's the rewrites that ate into my time in this one. Plus, irl has been a weird roller-coaster between horrible and amazing too. Hopefully, this chapter cleared up a lot about Mari. Her motivations will be made clearer during Instrumentality, but I hope what I did made a lot of sense.

Also, Tabris was a character I initially worried about with how I'll portray him. He's definitely something special, having a ton of influence out of a single episode and a few parts in the EoE. Still, looking back on how I wrote him, I think I wrote him well too. Hurray! Also, you're question about Mari's name flew over my head until Traitor of All Traitors pointed it out. Sorry for the confusion.

Traitor of All Traitors, THANK YOU. You spotted the dumbest mistake I made in this fanfic. I, like the western idiot I am, mistyped Kyoko as Kyoto during Kaworu's final line. Damn it. That's really bad that I not only mistyped it but also never caught it during my editing process of the chapter. So, thanks for saving my ass. That chapter has been fixed now for close to a month, but I apologize to all my readers for making that mistake. Thanks again for pointing out that error.

Franz Myers, No worries! It was perfectly understandable! I'm really glad you're enjoying my story. ¡Muchas gracias!

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

Everything… Well, pretty much everything.

Rei, Asuka, Shinji, and Sakura spent their final days being kids together.  
None of the main cast is dead (yet), though Gendo and Misato are close.  
Mari is the time traveling daughter of Asuka and Shinji from the canon timeline.  
Instrumentality is still starting, but Rei and Shinji are more in control and sane respectively this time around.  
Instead of destroying her enemies until her power runs out like the warrior she is, Asuka was sidelined… but when has that ever stopped our fiery redhead?


	27. The End of Evangelion, Nothingness

The End of Evangelion, Nothingness

 _I was willing to sacrifice all for the sake of starting Instrumentality. Then, Shinji came back into my life. He brought warmness. I no longer wished to become one with all, since my heart had already become one with other hearts. I enjoy that feeling._

 _Now, I start Instrumentality again. Will I ever feel the warm embrace of my brother? I do not know. I only know I am starting Instrumentality for the same reason I did not want to start it. I want to protect all those I love. I desire for them to live lives, individual lives. Fate's hand forced the world into one path of individuality. No matter the personal sacrifice, I will do anything to give my brother the chance of a happy life… a life I fear I will never be a part of again._

* * *

"That's all I can do, Commander." Asuka's hands drip with his blood. How is he still alive? How is he still conscious?

"That is satisfactory," Gendo croaks. He must be close to death. No one should be able to survive this amount of blood loss. The girl did everything in her power to stop the bleeding, but she can do only so much when he has holes going straight through his chest.

Asuka slumps over, exhausted. She's mentally exhausted, emotionally exhausted, and physically exhausted. _I just want this to be over. No more living nightmares._

The man coughs, a disgusting hacking sound. It doesn't matter if medics come, though they won't. He's as good as dead.

"Will Shinji miss me?" He winces from the pain.  
"Of course."  
He looks away. "I hoped not."  
"And Rei will miss you too."  
"I knew that."

The ground shakes. Everything feels… different, as if electricity energizes the air. It's the same feeling when she piloted the Eva. She senses power. Gendo closes his eyes.

"Instrumentality has begun."  
"Shit." Asuka kick at the cages control panel.  
"Agreed."

Rage boils over inside the girl.

"Gott Verdammt! Du Arschlocher! Wer war es?" She blinks. _State it in Japanese, Asuka._ "Who did it?"  
"My wife."  
"Shinji visited her grave with you and Rei. I remember that."  
"And you kissed him that evening."  
"What!" Dying or not, she's going to kill him.  
"Thank you."

Before she could rip off his head, Asuka hears something. _Laughter? Rei's laughter?_

Her vision becomes enveloped in white. Her soul gets ripped from her body only to be put back moments later. To almost anyone else in the world, it would've have scared them; however, Asuka is already used to that feeling.

The white moves away. It's a hand, a giant hand. It rises out of the floor. The rest of the body follows, and even though she sees only part of the entire figure, she sees enough of the head to recognize her.

"Rei?"  
"I need you." _Her voice sounds the same._  
"Rei… What happened?"  
"I'm saving the world."

Asuka is enveloped with white again. A moment later, she feels herself being moved. Gently, Rei places her in a familiar place.

"We need the Spear of Longinus. You will take it."  
The white leaves again. Asuka grips her Eva's controls. "And stop Instrumentality?"  
"Too late. We must control it to send everyone back."  
"Back?"  
"Trust me, please."

Asuka sighs. "Why not? You always try to do what's best for Shinji anyway."

Her Eva comes alive. No one started it. The god breaks through the bakelite as if it was paper. Asuka rushes to the catapult and braces for the crushing weight to press down on her. Rei floats upwards.

 _What the Hell is happening?_

* * *

No! Ten years of effort and sacrifice. Leaving Mom and Dad forever. So much suffering. So much isolation. Everyone went through hell yet again.

It was for nothing.

Moments away from victory, everything feel apart in a moment. Yui decided to start Instrumentality. Mari is just Mari. She and Unit 04 can't take Yui and the Eva series. She can't hurt the man who was once her father.

"It all returns to nothingness." She sits down as Unit 01 rises into the sky. Shinji screams, pleading with his mother to stop. The Eva series seem happy. _Bastards came expecting a fight. Instead, we gave them exactly what they wanted._

Rei promised they'd stop it. She's an all-powerful god, enough to influence this world. Hell, this Shinji and Rei are twins. _Rei, what went wrong?_

Unit 02 launches from the catapult as a familiar white head rises from the ground. _Well, this Rei's fucked too._

She opens her comm channel to the people inside, those poor technicians. _At least Rits will survive this time._

"Hi."  
"Mari! There's a massive anti-AT field detected emanating from Unit 01!" Rits sounds horrified. _Huh, I guess she didn't want this to happen. Cool._ "Stop it!"  
"No can do. Just hang on for the ride."

She closes the channel.

Unit 01 rises into the sky with its band of harpies. Rei floats up to meet the other god.

"May I have the spear, please?" The Angel holds out her hand.  
Unit 01 stops floating higher, but it doesn't give the spear. It does sprout some rad looking wings though. _Death looks pretty today._  
"In moments, individuality will cease to be. I will not make the mistakes of the past. Give it to Asuka. Then, I will bear the burden through her. No one shall suffer but me."

Unit 01 stays still for a moemtn longer. Then, she lets go of the spear. It floats down to Unit 02, and Asuka takes it in her hand.

"Rei?" asks the lead pilot, "Now what?"  
"I feel the best thing I could to is end it all."

Rei blankets Unit 02. They and the Eva series soar into the skies above leaving Unit 01 and 04 behind. The GeoFront shakes. Soon, it will soar into the sky too. Mari curls into a ball and cries.

Someone used her. Someone used everyone. Gendo, Yui, Shinji, Asuka, Rei, herself… even fucking SEELE. They were pawns in a large game of chess. Someone positioned everything perfectly. No matter what everyone did, it came to the same conclusion. The world will end, again. Will Shinji and Asuka escape again? Will Rei restart everything again?

Mari curls into a ball and cries. Shinji thrashes against his controls, a helpless bystander.

* * *

Rei expands physically and spiritually. Her self… her soul… it touches all. She feels the terror and the dread of all living beings. She feels Asuka and her trust. _She still trusts me._

Rei feels… Rei? No… The Rei that she feels is Rei, but that Rei is not her.

 _I am about to become one with you, aren't I?  
_ _ **Yes.  
**_ _Was this your intention from the beginning?  
_ _ **I intend for individuality, not ending at Instrumentality.**_ **  
** _I… I think I understand.  
_ _ **Last time, I used Shinji as a conduit. Do you see that time?  
**_ _I do now. Pain. Why was he in so much pain?  
_ _ **Either you or Asu-  
**_ _Me. No more shall come to harm.  
_ _ **Then let us begin.**_

She raises the GeoFront with her, careful to not harm anyone in the building. She reverses her AT field and spreads it throughout the world. She doesn't touch anyone, not yet. She…

 _I am afraid.  
_ _ **Why?  
**_ _For I will cause fear.  
_ _ **What else could we do?**_

Rei sighs, trying to find all who are close to dying. She will start with them. Thousands of souls come into her mind. Thousands are about to perish. _I can save them, all of them. I recognize several including… Kaji?_

"Asuka," she says to the pilot and friend within her form.  
"Yes?" She sounds afraid.  
"I have found someone important to you."  
"Who?"  
"Kaji is alive. I will save him."  
"What? Really!" She feels her excitement.  
"Yes."

Rei stands upon the earth in different places in the same moment of time. She has transcended the physical laws of nature. She looks at the dying of the world for a moment. Then, she reveals her presence to them.

* * *

Ryoji Kaji

The spy spits out blood. His vision swirls around, but he can't see much, too much swelling. The throbbing pain takes away most other sensations. If he could feel, the man would feel cold. Blood loss and the cool air from this building would make him shiver.

The man does his best to smile, not truly caring he's about to die. He spirited away Kensuke and Hikari. Those two kids are safe, for now at least. Hell, of the ways to go, he couldn't have imagined a more honorable one for a double-crossing triple agent. He tries to laugh, but the pain doesn't let him. How is he even alive with a job description like that?

He hears a gun being cocked. Unlike the rest of his body, his ears work fine. The men speak in German, a language he knows well thanks to Asuka. _I'll miss you._ They boast about achieving their goal. _They're talking about killing me, right? Not Instrumentality. It couldn't be that._

He waits for a gunshot to end it all, or perhaps they'll merely shoot his arm. Yeah, they'll do the latter. More suffering. It's probably a sport. Who knows? They blabber about him never experiencing paradise. _Shit. They are talking about Instrumentality. Damn you, SELLE._

Kaji hears five odd sounds, like popping, followed by five bloodcurdling screams. He opens his eyes, curious to see the source. _Gah, my vision's gone._ He could've sworn that they all were torn limb from limb.

Then, he sees an angel. Well, it's Misato, but she's an angel to him. _Yeah, I'm dying._

Misato walks up to him with an innocent smile on her face. She clenches her fist, a habit he's noticed more with Shinji than anyone else. He reaches her hands up and stokes his cheek. Kaji smiles back.

Then, he turns in a pile of LCL.

* * *

Gendo Ikari

The commander of NERV fades into and out of consciousness. Despite all logic, he hasn't died. Maybe it's penance for all the suffering he caused. Then again, an eternity of this pain would amount to nothing when compared to the pain he caused.

He knows what's happening. Rei is destroying the world, a goal he once believed in. Now, Rei's dead, or part of her is. Still, she completes her father's longtime goal. _You always did want to help me._ Was it out of sheer loyalty? Was it out of love? He never did ask. Yet another failure among an ocean of disappointments.

"You weren't a failure."

He turns his head. Rei stands over him. He wants to ague, but he can't. His bod won't let him.

"You made unforgivable choices, but you did lead NERV to victory."

He tries to shake his head. It wasn't him. The children were the ones to kill the Evas. The children were the ones to make the real sacrifices.

Rei tilts her head. "It is an interesting thing… Of all the people who visited so far, only you were the one to see me. In this moment, I am your heart's desire. Your lips may lie, but your heart does not. You love me."

With a protracted wheeze, he gurgles, "Yes."

Rei smiles. "Then, will you do something for me?"

Gendo nods.

Rei kneels besides the man and extends her hand. "Father, hold my hand. Please." Her hand clenches into a first, but Rei forces it out.

With his dying breath, Gendo reaches out and takes hold of her fingers.

Then, he becomes LCL.

* * *

Misato Katsuragi

"Damn it." She's pinned. She's dying, and she's pinned. The men still fire at her. They know who she is, a target. They also know that she's killed the last five who tried to make it across the hall. What they don't know is that she only has one bullet left. There's still ten of them.

 _Hopefully this'll but enough time for Asuka._

She twists the wrong way. The jabbing pain in her abdomen erupts again, so she presses her hand against the wound. _It's not like I could've worn bikinis anyway._ She leans against the wall, conserving her dwindling strength. _I should've done more for them. I could've._

"Kaji, I failed them, didn't I?" He's dead She'll be dead. Soon, Asuka and Shinji might be dead too. Knowing SEELE, being dead might be their best option. It's not fair. Her kids deserved a chance to… be kids.

She hears someone behind her. Whipping around, she barely stops herself from shooting the man she loves.

"Kaji?"  
He smirks. "Of course."  
"Kaji!"

She drops her pistol and leaps into his arms forgetting the situation and reality.

Then, she becomes a puddle of LCL.

* * *

Rei hovers over the earth even as she touches the lives of millions, soon to be billions. _Filtering so many souls should be killing me, yet it is not. Neither is Asuka feeling the pain… Are you taking the brunt of the impact?  
_ _ **I am.**_ _  
Will it kill you?  
_ _ **That is inconsequential. Proceed with Instrumentality.  
**_ _The dead and dying have been saved. I should take the adults before someone does something rash.  
_ _ **Even SEELE?**_ _  
For most yes… for others…_

Rei searches for SEELE. She finds the old men scattered throughout the world, basking in their triumph. She sees all the pain and heartache they caused for a single goal. Now, they reap the fruits of their labor. Joy. They feel smug joy. All are becoming one. They will inherit paradise.

She stands before the old men. Their decaying bodies force a smile. They see her in various forms, but none see her as Rei. None even see her as the Angel destroying the world. This is the moment of their triumph.

Rei sifts into her original form, the form of Shinji's sister. The men look surprised.

She tells them one thing. "Go to hell."

Then, the Angel kills them. She finds it satisfactory.

* * *

The Bridge Technicians

Three of the most fascinating reactions to everything is occurring at the Command Center. Though, she knows part of their reasoning. They can observe her spreading anti-AT field. They know what is happening, but they were not prepared for this scenario. No one else in the world faces this same situation.

She starts with Lieutenant Hyuga. She never knew him well, though he did seem to work with Misato frequently. Considering the form she took, the girl knows why. He looks at her in awe and fear. His mind has essentially shut down to a childish fear. The world is ending around him, and he is helpless.

She hugs him.

Then, he turns into LCL.

She moves onto Lieutenant Aoba. The nihilist watches as the world he views as baseless and meaningless becomes baseless and meaningless. Instead of feeling glee, he feels fear even as the world becomes exactly what he believes it to be. Furthermore, he cowers under a desk.

She does not take a different form, since there is no form that would appease him. He has no loved ones. He has no one he can trust, not even himself.

Rei kneels next to him and clears her throat, careful not to touch him yet.

He looks up at her, quaking in fear. "So, it is you?"  
"Yes."  
"Why are you talking to me?"  
"You seem alone. I understand that pain." She extends her hand. "Trust me. I will help you."  
He stares at her for a moment. "Sure." Before he could change his mind, he holds her hand.

Then, he splashes on the ground as LCL.

She finishes with Lieutenant Ibuki. They spoke a few times before. She seemed like a nice person. Now, the woman is the only person in the room still attempting to learn more about Instrumentality. Leaning over her laptop, she pours over the data learning all she can… Rei cringes. The young lieutenant must know that she too will soon be taken. Nonetheless, the data being gathered could be beneficial to recovery efforts.

Rei gasps at the form she took. _Doctor Akagi?_ The looks at the young woman for a moment. _I wonder if she told anybody. Poor Ibuki. Poor Hyuga. Unrequited love would hurt… Shinji must have felt the same way with me at first._

Rei takes the laptop and quickly types information on it, information on Instrumentality that no one would otherwise know. _You will need to know these things for the sake of humanity's future._ Without prompt, Lieutenant Ibuki leaps into her arms.

Then, she becomes LCL.

* * *

Kozo Fuyutsuki

"Ikari, did you also finally get to see Yui again?" The old man smiles. Rei feels… uncomfortable. More unrequited love… most likely. This time, it is an old college professor towards his student and Rei's mother. _I will not tell Father or Shinji about this. It would cause problems._

Rei tilts her head. "Actually, he saw his daughter."  
The Sub-Commander raises his eyebrows. "Well, that's nice."  
"It is."

She reaches out her hand to touch him. He raises his to touch hers. For a moment, they appear like the old painting, The Creation of Adam. A moment later, their hands touch.

Then, he pops into LCL.

* * *

Ritsuko Akagi

Rei looks at Doctor Akagi. She smokes her cigarette surrounded by puddles of LCL. The woman does not see her yet, but she speaks anyway.

"You finally did it." She shrugs. "Did Gendo live?"

Rei appears before her, but her form quickly shifts to one she expected. In her father's voice, she answers, "He did."

Doctor Akagi drops her cigarette butt on the ground and crushes it with her foot. She looks around the room. "How many people are left?"  
"Not many."

Rei steps forward, but the woman jumps back.

"Wait." She holds up her hand. "Tell me this one thing. Was I… good towards you? I wasn't exactly a nice person." She sighs. "Sorta like my mother."  
Rei smiles. "Let go of the past." She puts her hand on the woman's shoulder.

Then, she transforms into LCL.

* * *

Rei sees countless souls coming towards her. Men, women, children. They are all becoming one, but there are still a few souls left. Ones she had not touched. Some of those she will miss the most.

 _How are you doing?  
_ _ **Do not worry about me.  
**_ _You sound most distressed.  
_ _ **It is all part of the scenario. I… I will be satisfied with these results.**_

Rei goes to Germany in an almost empty building. It nestled itself into the countryside. Most would pass by the building without a second glance. Rei knows it is one of Mr. Kaji's safe houses. He was captured, but the two people inside are not. One lies on a bed, still recovering from her injuries. The other is glued to a portable radio that used to spew German. Now, it only gives static. She already took those who worked there.

"Hikari, they said Unit 02 and Unit 01 a lot, and you're pretty sure that one word was _Angel_ , right?"  
"I think so, but I didn't pick up much German from Asuka."  
Kensuke clenches the radio until his fingers turn white. "Do you think my dad's okay? What about your family?"  
"I… I'm sure they are."

Rei smiles. Their families have already joined the others. It is time to reunite loved ones.

"Toji?" Hikari's eyes light up in joy. She sits up, unable to stand due to the missing parts of her body. "Toji! You're alive!"  
Rei smiles. "I can make you whole again." She points to her missing leg. "Would you like th-"  
Hikari wraps her arms around Rei's neck. "Yes!"

Then, she turns into LCL.

"Hikari, is everyth-" He turns around before his eyes open wide. "Y-you…" He readjusts his glasses. "You have legs again!"

Rei looks down. _I appeared to him as Hikari? Why?_ She looks at the boy for a moment. _Oh… OH._

"Yes, I do."

Rei steps forward and hugs Kensuke. Kensuke hugs her back.

Then, he turns into LCL, with a smile.

* * *

Kyoko "Mari" Ikari Sohryu

Rei appears next to Mari. She sits in her entry plug and cries. She also senses anger. The girl looks up at her immediately and makes eye contact.

"So, who am I looking at? My Rei or Shinji's Rei?"  
Rei tilts her head. "You shouldn't be able to see me yet."  
"Answer the fucking question."  
"Shinji's Rei."  
"Oh." She looks down. "Sorry."

Rei sits next to her. "I know many more things. So much information from absorbing so many people. You are my niece."  
"Yup."  
"I suspect you came back to avert Instrumentality."  
"Yup."  
"I promise I will do everything I can to free everyone."  
"Even SEELE."  
"I killed them."  
Mari smiles. "Badass. I think we were played by my Rei. She wanted all of this to happen. I don't know why nor why she never told me."  
"She is taking the brunt of the trauma. I do not know if she will survive."  
"Huh." She brushes back some of her hair. "Promise me you'll get Shinji and Asuka back, please?"  
"I will send everyone back."

Without a word, Mari touches Rei arm.

Then, she shifts into the LCL around them.

* * *

Her Little Sister

"Hello, Sakura."  
"Rei!"

The girl wheels herself around. She shivers, cold in NERV's deepest level.

"I will take you. The experience will be different, but your legs will be healed."  
"What about you?"  
"Me?"  
"Will you make it back?"  
"I do not know."

The young lady crosses her arms.

"Then, I won't ever get out. I'd rather be with you than run around."  
"No."  
The girl looks hurt. "No?"  
Rei kneels in front of her fiend… her little sister. "Sakura, do you not understand? I want you to live a happy life. I promise I will do everything in my power to return, but you will hurt me if you stay behind. The world deserves Sakura and it would suffer without you. Please. For me, promise that you will leave. I promise I will do everything in my power to follow."

The girl takes a deep breath. "Pinky promise." She holds out her pinky.  
Rei smiles. "Pinky promise."

Their fingers interlock.

Then, she becomes LCL.

* * *

Her Best Friend

"Asuka?"  
"Yes."  
"It's time."

Rei appears before her. The girl looks away.

"Rei, was I any good?"  
"What are you talking about?"  
"Was I useful? At the end of everything, I… I didn't do much. It was you, Shinji, Mari, and even Hikari. You four kept on fighting. I was sidelined."  
"Asuka, if I was half the woman you are, I would be an amazing person."

Asuka opens her mouth to reply but closes it. She shakes her head instead.

"You became a better person. When I first knew you, you were, um…"  
"A self-absorbed psycho bitch?"  
"Mostly. You became better. We became better together, but unlike me, you also grew more." Rei smiles. "I will gladly follow your leadership, Captain."  
Asuka smiles. "You praise people too much. So, how do we do this?"  
Rei holds out her hand. "Simply touch me."  
"Make sure Shinji comes out too, got it?"  
"Yes, my friend."

Asuka touches her hand.

Then, she becomes one with the LCL.

* * *

Her Brother

Shinji pounds against the side of his entry plug. He already broke two of his knuckles. Blood mixes with the LCL. He sobs, unable to do anything.

Rei takes his hand.

"Rei?"  
"Yes."  
He wraps her in a hug. "I'm so sorry, Rei."  
"You have nothing to be sorry for."  
"I couldn't do anything. Instrumentality started. You are now… Can you ever come back?"  
"I will try."

Shinji clenches his fists. "I failed you again. I could've saved you life when we were nine. I could've stopped you from self-destructing. I could've saved you now."  
Rei leans her head on his shoulders. "And none of that matters. You made my life wonderful. I would not change a thing about it."  
"Rei…"  
"I love you. Remember that always, my brother."  
"I love you too."

Then, he becomes LCL.

Rei sighs. All the souls have become one. _It is finished._

Now, it is time to send them all back. She knows the exact catalyst that would do so.

 _I will send you home, Brother._

* * *

Misato's Voice: "Instrumentality finished, but Rei's work isn't finished. She promised to send everyone back. However, a different force keeps Shinji stuck in Instrumentality, and Rei won't be able to free him on her own."

* * *

Author's notes:

Wow. Well, I did part one of Instrumentality. I'm really excited about the next part though. I'm not sure how long it'll be, but it may be the last chapter of this story (besides the epilogue I've been planning for about half a year). Then again, it could become several. It depends on a few things.

I do wonder how many of you were cheering Rei on as she turned the world into orange marmalade.

There weren't any big reveals this chapter. Train Car Rei and Yui will got some spotlight though. Despite my inclinations, I couldn't bring myself to kill any of the four adults who've had targets ontheir backs for quite some time. It didn't make sense why Ritsuko would die. Gendo needs to do things still. (Plus, he's fun to write.) Kaji already "died" once and killing him again didn't seem right. Killing Misato wouldn't work for some character arcs, and I didn't really want to kill her anyway.

So… that's about it. Not much to say. I think this chapter was straightforward. I always wondered what Instrumentality would be like if we had a Rei who understood human interactions and was more open to other people.

Replies to Comments:

ADeadDieHard, Yui didn't get stopped, not really. Instrumentality happened. Rei, more or less, took the reins from her. BUT, there's a reason why Yui didn't do much this chapter. I'm glad you liked Mari's backstory. It was an interesting one for me, so I hoped it'd be interesting to you all.

Traitor of All Traitors, good question. Here's the timeline.  
1\. The canon show occurred and ended with EoE.  
2\. Rei came back about a decade later, turned back time, and took Kyoko with her.  
3\. When turning back time, Rei made some altercations. Specifically, she made the world have Shinji and 4. Rei as twins and positioned Mari into SEELE's organization.  
5\. A few butterfly effects occurred, but things mostly stayed the same as in canon.  
6\. This fanfic started.

So, it's technically a continuation fic (since canon Rei continued… by going into the past…). BUT, the continuation was pretty much an AU since the premises was "What if everything started the same, but Shinji and Rei are twins?" BUT, it's also a Peggy Sue fic since canon Rei and Mari were two people from the future messing around with everyone trying to fix things.

So… this's a future fic portrayed as an alternate universe. Ug, it seems fitting for this to be so complicated considering how layered and complicated the canon show was.

PrometheusDark, it's great to hear you liked my use of Mari. Hideaki Anno also can feel free to use my version of her. Canon Mari is… odd to say the least. I tried to make her very "Eva-ish" in this one.

Also yeah… I know I shouldn't rush but having a consistent release schedule helps. Long breaks in releasing chapters also hurts my viewing numbers. Chapter 25 has half the average amount of views. Chapter 26 (the previous one) has barely a third. I noticed people read this story more if I release on a consistent and predictable basis. Still, I should compare numbers with a few other Eva fanfic authors. I think I have on the lower side of views but have high amounts of comment/favorite/follows for my views.

List of notable (enough for me) things that happened that aren't canon:

Huh, not that much.

Gendo, Ritsuko, Kaji, and Misato all made it to Instrumentality.  
Rei was thoughtful during Instrumentality.  
Shinji didn't get mind-screwed. Instead, canon Rei took the trauma.


End file.
